Just out of curiosity..for any one who celebrates Christmas...

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
...
Jamie Clark wrote:

But what if your kids aren't skeptical about Santa. What if they are
buying into the fantasy of Santa Clause?

I'll explain it to them.

But why can't he believe in Santa if he wants?


Will you tell your kids how magic tricks are done?

Yup. The most fun about magic tricks is figuring out how they're done.

For you. Not for everyone.

After all, those are "lies" too. I just don't see that you need to pop
those bubbles from the very beginning.

They aren't bubbles. They're intriguing mysteries that should be solved.
Solving them is far more fun than remaining mystified, IMO. I like to
foster healthy curiosity. :-)

Again, this is not the same for everyone. Some people like the fact that
there are mysteries in the world, and have no interest in solving them. I
like to foster a healthy curiosity too, I just don't need to see behind
every curtain...

I don't consider those lies. I guess we're just going to fundamentally
disagree on this one.

I guess so. ;-)

I just don't think it's my job to calm down my child's imagination and
fantasy, but rather encourage it and stoke the fires of creativity.

Reminding them of reality does not calm down imagination and fantasy. It
just reminds them of reality. It also doesn't hamper creativity. I
really don't know why people think it does. I guess it just depends on
personality. Maybe part of the problem is that some people don't know how
to tell the truth without doing damage, or something. Honestly, I think
it's a problem with our culture. (I'm going to stop here before I go into
rant mode, heh heh)

Now I only used the phrase "my job to calm down my child's imagination and
fantasy" because that's exactly what you said. You said it was your job to
calm down their imagination and fantasy. I disagree. I also do agree that
some people don't understand the concept of telling the truth in a tactful
or even healthy way. Some people think that they only way to be honest is
to be hurtful.

Not all truth needs to be spoken. Sometimes if the truth does more harm
than good, it doesn't need to be told.

Here is something where we'll definitely have to agree to disagree. I do
not believe that it's better to keep a secret if the truth will harm
someone. It's far better to know and to deal with the problem. Also,
there are ways of telling the truth so that you don't hurt someone. Being
kindly truthful is a skill that I've been trying to work on forever,
because it's not one that I was ever taught (hence my belief that it's a
cultural problem - people value in-your-face attitudes too much these
days, especially in snobby Ontario). The going has been tough (and I'm
not entirely sure that I've made a whole heck of a lot of progress,
either), but I don't intend to quit, and it's definitely something I
intend to teach Max. I'm not saying that other people, such as you,
aren't going to do the same thing - I'm just saying that I intend to go
farther (like, as far as I can).

I'm sure you are, and are going to continue to be, a great mom, Vicki. But
as I'm sure you are aware (or at least now are), not everyone thinks that
the best part of a magic trick is figuring out how it was done.

There are different types of people in the world -- those who love to find
out the inner workings on things, who love to figure out how things work,
how magic tricks are done, etc, and those other people, like me, who
honestly don't want to know how the magic trick is done. For me, once I
know how the magic trick is done, it's not magic any longer, it's just a
fast hand, or a clever ruse. I like believing in magic, and I make an
effort not to spoil it for myself. I don't read ahead to the end of the
book, I suspend disbelief, I love surprises.

My point here is that I'd hope that if your son turned out to be one of the
people who didn't think the best part of a magic trick was figuring out how
it was done, that you wouldn't spoil it for him. That you'd let him be who
he is, and not spoil things for him just because you like it that way.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03
Addison Grace, 9/30/04

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