VERY disappointing 23 week appt.

I had my OB visit today and near the end of the appointment I asked him
if he had a chance to review my history to decide whether I would be a
good candidate for VBAC. All he really told me is that my next c-section
experience wouldn't be as bad as the first. He seems like a good doctor
but he seems totally unsupportive of VBAC. SIGH.......I live outside a
town of about 8,000 and he is the only OB who delivers babies at the
clinic my insurance covers. (there are only two) He said that if this
baby is close in size to my last one (8 lbs 15 oz like that is SO huge)
I should just have a c-section. He sad he recommends c-sections at 39
weeks. 39 WEEKS? What the hell? My other option is to find a doctor in
the next biggest town which is 45 minutes away.

I don't think my last experience is enough proof that I CAN'T have a 9
lb baby. Maybe at 41 weeks when then induced last time he was in a bad
position or maybe the epidural made it so I couldn't push. I know I
couldn't feel what I was doing anyway and was so exhausted by that time
it didn't matter.

On another somewhat depressing note, I gained 11 lbs this month. I have
been walking every day and have been trying to eat healthy and I am
still gaining weight like crazy. At 23 weeks I am at a total weight gain
of 21 lbs. Again, sigh..........I don't want to balloon to a miserable
huge weight again but it seems inevitable.

Any suggestions on what I should do about my doctor? He makes it seem
like it is not even worth it to try to VBAC and I should just have a
c-section and get it over with. Even I am starting to wonder. I asked
him what would happen if I went into labor on my own.....would they let
me try it for awhile or would they want to immediately c-sec? He said
they would want to go ahead and do a c-sec. How stupid is that? I am SO
frustrated. I do not want to be sliced open again. I hate surgery. He
has not given me one good reason why I HAVE to have another c-section.

Another question, how does a spinal differ from an epidural? I had a
epidural last time and my doctor said this time (if I had a planned
section) they would do a spinal. Are the risks different? Does one work
better, are they inserted the same?

Wendy
Mom to Nolan 7-11-03 and desperately trying to avoid an unnecessary
c-section in Nov.

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I had my OB visit today and near the end of the appointment I asked him
if he had a chance to review my history to decide whether I would be a
good candidate for VBAC. All he really told me is that my next c-section
experience wouldn't be as bad as the first. He seems like a good doctor
but he seems totally unsupportive of VBAC. SIGH.......I live outside a
town of about 8,000 and he is the only OB who delivers babies at the
clinic my insurance covers. (there are only two) He said that if this
baby is close in size to my last one (8 lbs 15 oz like that is SO huge)
I should just have a c-section. He sad he recommends c-sections at 39
weeks. 39 WEEKS? What the hell?

A couple of thoughts here. He recommends, but doesn't require, right? He
can't force you to have a c-section, can he. What if you just refused to
schedule one and just go into labor? I don't know the circumstances
surrounding your first c-section, but here's a little story of my friend. I
know my freind did this and she had a history of c-section. Her first was
footling breech, had a section, second was a successful VBAC, and third was
breech. She really wanted to go into labor to take the chance that she might
turn so she refused to get put on the schedule. She went into labor and went
in for an ultrasound. The baby turned out to be footling breech again and
she ended up with another section, but she gave it a try and felt very
satisfied with the birth because she did.

My other option is to find a doctor in
the next biggest town which is 45 minutes away.

You might want to explore this option.

Also, are there any options for midwives around? Even hospital based ones?
If you are locked down to this doctor, I would *strongly* suggest at least
hiring a doula.

Any suggestions on what I should do about my doctor? He makes it seem
like it is not even worth it to try to VBAC and I should just have a
c-section and get it over with. Even I am starting to wonder. I asked
him what would happen if I went into labor on my own.....would they let
me try it for awhile or would they want to immediately c-sec? He said
they would want to go ahead and do a c-sec. How stupid is that? I am SO
frustrated. I do not want to be sliced open again. I hate surgery. He
has not given me one good reason why I HAVE to have another c-section.

Oh, that's infuriating! I am very sorry for your situation. Can he really
*make* you have a c-section? From what you are saying here, I would really
explore that other option, even if it is 45 minutes away.

23 weeks is early enough. You have some time to look around. Try to explore
all options. Good luck.

JennP.

Wendy wrote:

I had my OB visit today and near the end of the appointment I asked him
if he had a chance to review my history to decide whether I would be a
good candidate for VBAC. All he really told me is that my next c-section
experience wouldn't be as bad as the first. He seems like a good doctor
but he seems totally unsupportive of VBAC. SIGH.......I live outside a
town of about 8,000 and he is the only OB who delivers babies at the
clinic my insurance covers. (there are only two) He said that if this
baby is close in size to my last one (8 lbs 15 oz like that is SO huge)
I should just have a c-section. He sad he recommends c-sections at 39
weeks. 39 WEEKS? What the hell? My other option is to find a doctor in
the next biggest town which is 45 minutes away.

I don't think my last experience is enough proof that I CAN'T have a 9
lb baby. Maybe at 41 weeks when then induced last time he was in a bad
position or maybe the epidural made it so I couldn't push. I know I
couldn't feel what I was doing anyway and was so exhausted by that time
it didn't matter.

On another somewhat depressing note, I gained 11 lbs this month. I have
been walking every day and have been trying to eat healthy and I am
still gaining weight like crazy. At 23 weeks I am at a total weight gain
of 21 lbs. Again, sigh..........I don't want to balloon to a miserable
huge weight again but it seems inevitable.

Don't worry about the weight. It seems that some
women just gain weight, even eating well and exercising.
If you are eating well and taking care of yourself, it's
not harmful to the baby (and most women in that position
find it's not all *that* bad to get the weight back off
again afterwards, though of course, it's no picnic either).

Any suggestions on what I should do about my doctor? He makes it seem
like it is not even worth it to try to VBAC and I should just have a
c-section and get it over with. Even I am starting to wonder. I asked
him what would happen if I went into labor on my own.....would they let
me try it for awhile or would they want to immediately c-sec? He said
they would want to go ahead and do a c-sec. How stupid is that? I am SO
frustrated. I do not want to be sliced open again. I hate surgery. He
has not given me one good reason why I HAVE to have another c-section.

And he probably can't, at least not one that holds
water. It sounds like you'll be swimming upstream if you
try to VBAC with him. Personally, I would go to the next
town, even though it's 45 minutes away. Last time around
it was an hour's drive to my midwives, which was a royal
PITA, especially once I got to weekly appointments. However,
I'd do that and more to improve the odds of getting the
birth I wanted. If you absolutely can't see your way to
doing that, you can just be stubborn as all get out and
refuse the interventions you don't want. That's an awfully
tough row to hoe, though.

Another question, how does a spinal differ from an epidural?

It's a matter of how far the catheter is inserted
into the spinal column.

I had a
epidural last time and my doctor said this time (if I had a planned
section) they would do a spinal. Are the risks different? Does one work
better, are they inserted the same?

They're really quite similar. Spinals are typically
a one shot thing, but if you're having a c-section (which
has a known duration), that's not really an issue.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time finding a
care provider who is compatible with your perspective.

Best wishes,
Ericka

I've had several people suggest hiring a doula or a midwife? How do I go
about this? Would they be hospital affiliated or how would I find one?
Like I said, I am in a pretty small town and I don't personally know
anyone who has ever hired one. Would they assist in the hospital during
the whole birth? What would be their role? Is this service covered by
insurance and if not, what does it cost?

Wendy

On Tue, 27 Jul 2004 18:04:08 -0500, (Wendy)
wrote:


Any suggestions on what I should do about my doctor? He makes it seem
like it is not even worth it to try to VBAC and I should just have a
c-section and get it over with. Even I am starting to wonder. I asked
him what would happen if I went into labor on my own.....would they let
me try it for awhile or would they want to immediately c-sec? He said
they would want to go ahead and do a c-sec. How stupid is that? I am SO
frustrated. I do not want to be sliced open again. I hate surgery. He
has not given me one good reason why I HAVE to have another c-section.

He can't stop you from using your own vagina ;-).

It's not too late to change care providers. If you can find a midwife
you might like that better. If you're not already a subscriber
ICAN-online is a good place to find out more, including about VBAC
friendly care providers in your area.
http://www.ican-online.org/community/emailsupport.htm


Hope

--
Riley 1993 c/s
Tara 2002 HBAC

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I've had several people suggest hiring a doula or a midwife? How do I go
about this?

For a doula, I'd first check www.dona.org. They have a locator.

Would they be hospital affiliated or how would I find one?

In most cases doulas are not hospital affiliated. They work either
independently or with an agency.

Like I said, I am in a pretty small town and I don't personally know
anyone who has ever hired one. Would they assist in the hospital during
the whole birth? What would be their role? Is this service covered by
insurance and if not, what does it cost?

Mine was not covered by insurance and it cost us about $600 4 years ago. I'm
in CT, and as I understand it this can vary greatly from region to region.

I paid to have her come to my house during labor and to stay during the
entire birth and she stayed to be sure that ds had latched properly. Her
role is whatever you want her to be, mostly labor support. You can decide
how involved you want her to be whether that is your primary support person,
supporting your support person or alternating.

Usually they meet with you a couple of times before labor begins to be sure
you are comfortable with her and express your birthing wishes.

I would highly recommend one for most hospital births. It's just nice to
have an extra support person and advocate there for you. Well worth the
money, IMO.

JennP.

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I had my OB visit today and near the end of the appointment I asked
him
if he had a chance to review my history to decide whether I would be a
good candidate for VBAC. All he really told me is that my next
c-section
experience wouldn't be as bad as the first. He seems like a good
doctor
but he seems totally unsupportive of VBAC. SIGH.......I live outside a
town of about 8,000 and he is the only OB who delivers babies at the
clinic my insurance covers. (there are only two)

So who would deliver your baby if this guy were unavailable? I mean, he
can't work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, can he? He must have some
kind of partner. Have you called your insurance company and asked them
if there is someone else (nurse practitioner, midwife, general
practicitioner, etc) in your area who delivers babies and takes your
insurance? Also, ask your insurance company what your out of pocket
expenses would be if you deleivered with an out-of-network OB. It might
be less draining to pay the excess than to be driving 45 minutes each
way to the next city.

I don't think my last experience is enough proof that I CAN'T have a 9
lb baby.

Of course it isn't. It's not proof of anything at all, except that you
weren't able to birth *that* baby in *those* circumstances, due to a
unique combination of physical and emotional factors. Your Dr sounds
like a schmuck, trying to lay blame on you for something that was out of
your control.


On another somewhat depressing note, I gained 11 lbs this month. I
have
been walking every day and have been trying to eat healthy and I am
still gaining weight like crazy. At 23 weeks I am at a total weight
gain
of 21 lbs. Again, sigh..........I don't want to balloon to a miserable
huge weight again but it seems inevitable.

I always gain a *lot* of weight when pregnant, and it always really
freaks me out, especially when I have to lose it! But it's just fat.
You put it on and then you'll have to take it off again. It's not
really a big deal, as long as you *do* take it off after you have the
baby. I'm hoping to restrict myself in weight gain this time myself,
but I know I'm kidding myself!

Any suggestions on what I should do about my doctor? He makes it seem
like it is not even worth it to try to VBAC and I should just have a
c-section and get it over with.

I would say that it is probably not worth fighting *this* particular dr,
as he will only end up bullying you into a section anyway, leaving you
with a section and a bad taste in your mouth. I would change care
providers myself, if I was certain I wanted a VBAC. On the other hand,
you could just keep going to this guy and then not turn up for the
scheduled C. It's not like they're gonna send the cops around to your
house if you're a no-show! Call the hospital the night before and tell
them there is a 'family emergency' and you'll be out of town for the
week. Unless your OB has satellite tracking technology, you should be
OK. It would be kind of sad if it had to come to this.

Go get yourself a new care providor, you know you want to!

eggs.

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I've had several people suggest hiring a doula or a midwife?

Just for the record, they're not necessarily the same thing. I don't know
too much about doulas, but I think one would act primarily as a support
person for yourself and your husband. She can suggest things like different
positions for labor and such like that, massage your back if your husband
needs a break, etc. I would think it would help to have one who is
well-familiar with your hospital and its typical policies, so that she could
help advocate for you if they start pushing things like a c-section. I
would think she might be a bit more removed from the situation, emotionally,
than you and your husband, so she might be able to help you look at things
more objectively, especially if the hospital staff starts trying to scare
you into an unnecessary c-section. A midwife, otoh, can take the place of
your OB, though for a VBAC, she might need to have a backup OB available,
not sure. She'd be there for your entire birth, and probably much, if not
all, of your labor. In general, I think they're usually more supportive of
vaginal birth, so not only would she be encouraging a VBAC, but she'd be
actively working with you to make it happen (ie not pushing for induction
unnecessarily, etc.). You can try www.birthcenters.org to see if there is a
birth center staffed with midwives near you, but there might also be a
direct entry midwife nearby too.

I'm really sorry the appointment didn't go well.


--
-Sara
Mommy to DD, 28 months
And Someone Due in February 2005

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I had my OB visit today and near the end of the appointment I asked him
if he had a chance to review my history to decide whether I would be a
good candidate for VBAC. All he really told me is that my next c-section
experience wouldn't be as bad as the first. He seems like a good doctor
but he seems totally unsupportive of VBAC. SIGH.......I live outside a
town of about 8,000 and he is the only OB who delivers babies at the
clinic my insurance covers. (there are only two) He said that if this
baby is close in size to my last one (8 lbs 15 oz like that is SO huge)
I should just have a c-section. He sad he recommends c-sections at 39
weeks. 39 WEEKS? What the hell? My other option is to find a doctor in
the next biggest town which is 45 minutes away.


I know women who'll travel 2 hours for a VBAC... Which would you regret
more?

I don't think my last experience is enough proof that I CAN'T have a 9
lb baby. Maybe at 41 weeks when then induced last time he was in a bad
position or maybe the epidural made it so I couldn't push. I know I
couldn't feel what I was doing anyway and was so exhausted by that time
it didn't matter.


Oh, plenty of women have c-sections for 'big baby' and then go on to birth
bigger babies vaginally.

On another somewhat depressing note, I gained 11 lbs this month. I have
been walking every day and have been trying to eat healthy and I am
still gaining weight like crazy. At 23 weeks I am at a total weight gain
of 21 lbs. Again, sigh..........I don't want to balloon to a miserable
huge weight again but it seems inevitable.


Ooooo... now that one... stop it. Stop it right now. You are SUPPOSED to
have a "bolus" of weight gain between 20 and 30 weeks. Your blood volume is
hitting maximum rate of expansion and I'd worry MORE if you didn't have a
good gain, especially *right now*. I know very well, very personally how
hard it is to watch weight piling on when you're pg--but honestly, it's the
best thing you can do right now. IF you are eating healthy foods, AND you
are exercising, you should probably just *skip* stepping on the scale at
all.

Jenrose

"Not My Real Name" wrote in message
...

I would think it would help to have one who is
well-familiar with your hospital and its typical policies, so that she
could
help advocate for you if they start pushing things like a c-section. I
would think she might be a bit more removed from the situation,
emotionally,
than you and your husband, so she might be able to help you look at things
more objectively, especially if the hospital staff starts trying to scare
you into an unnecessary c-section.

This was *exactly* why I was glad I had a doula. She overheard them talking
failure to progress (which I was NOT) and let me know so that we could make
decisions accordingly. I have always thought the only reason I didn't have a
c-section was because I had my doula there as an advocate. I had a perfectly
normal vaginal birth. Had I had a c-section it would have been totally
unnecessary and a crying shame.

JennP.