Reading information please

We have twin grandchildren and they are not socializing well with other
children. We have taken them to reading groups at the local library where
they only in interact with each other and ignore other children. The parents
are almost blind to any problems they might have in the future.

They have been the centre of attention all their lives and I can anticipate
that they will have major problems when they start school.

Therefore I would like to find some books that deal with socializing and
preschool readiness

Any help would be appreciated

My almost 10 year olds were like that in preschool, Chris especially didn't
want to play with anyone except his sister. My philosophy is that kids need
to have their "emotional cups" full before they move on from one step to
another. Example, they need to feel totally confident before they go away
from mom, pushed too soon and you end up with a child that is very insecure
because they were pushed before they were ready. Chris was incredibly shy
and almost a ghost, never wanting to be in any new situation, scared of
being without me and even in first grade had to be pealed off my body to go
to class without his twin. By the end of that year, he not only was a very
adventuresome kid but said very clearly that he didn't want to embarrass me
in second grade by doing the same thing. Well let me tell you, third grade
was a bye mom and please don't hug or kiss me in front of school and 4th
grade is a kiss on the head at home. Again, it took time for him to develop
a bit of confidence unlike his twin who will certainly be either an anchor
person, actress (she's in drama class for the second year), dancer or
musician - whatever, the point being she has never been shy and always
comfortable about going out and about. Each child gets along differently as
how they see the world and no amount of "pushing" or cajoling" can make them
"feel" better about it. I'd rather wait and expose them to things and let
them decide when they have filled their cups. Good luck.

Shirley
Chris and Kathleen 1/95

"Gary Teat" wrote in message
...
We have twin grandchildren and they are not socializing well with other
children. We have taken them to reading groups at the local library where
they only in interact with each other and ignore other children. The
parents
are almost blind to any problems they might have in the future.

They have been the centre of attention all their lives and I can
anticipate
that they will have major problems when they start school.

Therefore I would like to find some books that deal with socializing and
preschool readiness

Any help would be appreciated

How old are they?

Julie

"Gary Teat" wrote in message
...
We have twin grandchildren and they are not socializing well with other
children. We have taken them to reading groups at the local library where
they only in interact with each other and ignore other children. The
parents
are almost blind to any problems they might have in the future.

They have been the centre of attention all their lives and I can
anticipate
that they will have major problems when they start school.

Therefore I would like to find some books that deal with socializing and
preschool readiness

Any help would be appreciated

The twins will be four in March, they were premature by five weeks. I notice
a vast difference between the twins and my children at the same age. I have
a boy and girl who are only 18 months apart. The girl was younger and did
many things much quicker than her brother, mostly to keep up.


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wrote:

We have twin grandchildren and they are not socializing well with other
children. We have taken them to reading groups at the local library where
they only in interact with each other and ignore other children. The parents
are almost blind to any problems they might have in the future.

Mine were just like this at that age, and so was my singleton. Do they pay
attention to what's going on? Mine would come home and sing all the songs and
do all the finger-plays, but not with the other children.

The twins were quite shy in preschool and I did worry about them then -- it
turned out they were being bullied and I didn't hear about it until a year or
more after the fact. In kindergarten they completely blossomed and did
beautifully.

I think many children are shy in large groups at this age.

--Helen

The twins seem to be a world of their own and pay little attention to other
children. One is the beta male and the other is very submissive. One will
control what he can of what is going on, not letting other kids use their
toys or be in "their space" the other is much more loving and will readily
listen to what is going on. The submissive one seems to be much smarter as
he retains things much better.

Over the weekend the beta was pushing and taking toys away from a nine month
old cousin. The submissive one did not really interact at all with the nine
month old.


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wrote:

The twins seem to be a world of their own and pay little attention to other
children. One is the beta male and the other is very submissive. One will
control what he can of what is going on, not letting other kids use their
toys or be in "their space" the other is much more loving and will readily
listen to what is going on. The submissive one seems to be much smarter as
he retains things much better.

Over the weekend the beta was pushing and taking toys away from a nine month
old cousin. The submissive one did not really interact at all with the nine
month old.

For both of them, I would say their behavior actually sounds pretty ordinary
for their age, within developmental norms. (I don't, of course, mean that it's
*okay* to push a baby around, only that it is the sort of thing that
preschoolers are rather prone to do.)

I would really watch it with the generalizations and comparisons -- children
change radically over the years, and it doesn't help to put them in pigeonholes
too early. They could well be acting the other way around by next year.
Statements such as one being "much smarter" than the other, or one being "very
submissive" can be damaging to any siblings, let alone twins.

--Helen