Sorta stood up to MIL

Subject: Sorta stood up to MIL
From: Julie Seely ess
Date: Thu, Oct 23, 2003 6:59 PM
Message-id:

Anita --

You had the guts to say what I've been thinking for days, namely "where
is the gratitude?" I simply cannot believe that full-grown adults are
comparing what *their* kids got to what other kids got, when their kids
are far too young to have any awareness. Give me a break.

And *I* simply cannot believe that a parent would sit quietly by and smile when
their children are deliberately slighted in this way. If you do not nip this is
the bud *now*, it will not change.

What happens when they are 10 and they are talking to their cousins about the
great DVD Aunt whatever bought them and they find that their cousins each got
one and they had to share. You don't think that will hurt their feelings?
This isn't about being rude but about protecting your kids from being hurt by
thoughtless relatives. They will be hurt plenty by others in their lives. It
isn't too much to expect some courtesy from *family*.

I want to be clear about one thing. I am not saying that it is never
appropriate to give a joint gift. Not at all. My girls have been given
several joint gifts from various relatives and friends -- things like blocks,
videos, a Little People house, and sidewalk chalk. But these are all things
they can play with alone or *together*. And those kinds of gifts are
wonderful.

What makes Megan's situation different is the choice of gift and the way she
shortchanged her kids compared to other cousins -- IMO that warrants something
more than merely being grateful.





As for the issue of treating twins as one, these are ONE-YEAR-OLDS!!!!
They have no clue!!! They are not offended!!!

Not yet anyway. So you would rather just sit by quietly and not say anything
until they *do* understand? How about nipping this in the bud *now* so
feelings aren't hurt later on.


Lori

I didn't "just respond to stir something up" but you had so much support
that I suspected a different opinion wouldn't be welcome. And so far
nothing that's been said has changed my opinion about that or about your
situation. It still sounds ungrateful with a misplaced sense of entitlement
to me and I don't know if you realize it or if that's what you want to model
for your kids.

In what way do I do not know what I am talking about? I have twins, I have
in-laws that treat me badly and are insensitive to my kids' needs (I was
trying to present that with humour, I admit, but that doesn't make it less
true or painful), we receive gifts, and life is sometimes unfair here too.
My twins are older than yours and I have two singletons too so I have, in
fact, a fair bit of experience parenting, and parenting twins. I know what
I'm talking about. But obviously we respond to things differently.
I get your point. I don't think you get mine.

A.


"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Anita,
Your trying to make a jole of things does not help the fact that you
have no idea what you are talking about. Why start if you know it wall
cause a "flame war"? If you just responded to stir up something, then
just stop! My kids are 2, not 1. That is the whole point.


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis



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I didn't "just respond to stir something up" but you had so much support
that I suspected a different opinion wouldn't be welcome. And so far
nothing that's been said has changed my opinion about that or about your
situation. It still sounds ungrateful with a misplaced sense of entitlement
to me and I don't know if you realize it or if that's what you want to model
for your kids.

In what way do I do not know what I am talking about? I have twins, I have
in-laws that treat me badly and are insensitive to my kids' needs (I was
trying to present that with humour, I admit, but that doesn't make it less
true or painful), we receive gifts, and life is sometimes unfair here too.
My twins are older than yours and I have two singletons too so I have, in
fact, a fair bit of experience parenting, and parenting twins. I know what
I'm talking about. But obviously we respond to things differently.
I get your point. I don't think you get mine.

A.


"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Anita,
Your trying to make a jole of things does not help the fact that you
have no idea what you are talking about. Why start if you know it wall
cause a "flame war"? If you just responded to stir up something, then
just stop! My kids are 2, not 1. That is the whole point.


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis



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Yep, sure can...one size fits all!

A.

"Julie Seely" wrote in message
...

Oh -- and Anita, can I borrow your flameproof suit?

Julie
Mom to Chris & Erica, 07/97



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Yep, sure can...one size fits all!

A.

"Julie Seely" wrote in message
...

Oh -- and Anita, can I borrow your flameproof suit?

Julie
Mom to Chris & Erica, 07/97



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Subject: Sorta stood up to MIL
From: (Megan Byrne)
Date: Thu, Oct 23, 2003 8:24 PM
Message-id:

Lori,
Thank you for taking care of that, LOL. I can always count on you to
"stick up" for me!

This SIL, who I really don't care for, is pg with her 1st child, due in
April.


Any chance she might be having twins?

Lori

Subject: Sorta stood up to MIL
From: (Megan Byrne)
Date: Thu, Oct 23, 2003 8:24 PM
Message-id:

Lori,
Thank you for taking care of that, LOL. I can always count on you to
"stick up" for me!

This SIL, who I really don't care for, is pg with her 1st child, due in
April.


Any chance she might be having twins?

Lori

Megan, how does your dh feel about all of this? If you and your children
are being treated badly by your in-laws (gift issue aside) I think he should
talk to them about it, don't you?

A.

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Nik,
Thanks for your post. I am sure ML didn't like me talking about her
daughter. MIL and I do not mix well. Not a positive thing to say about
MIL. As for SIL, she is quite well off, but very "tight".


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis



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Megan, how does your dh feel about all of this? If you and your children
are being treated badly by your in-laws (gift issue aside) I think he should
talk to them about it, don't you?

A.

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Nik,
Thanks for your post. I am sure ML didn't like me talking about her
daughter. MIL and I do not mix well. Not a positive thing to say about
MIL. As for SIL, she is quite well off, but very "tight".


~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis



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Megan --

Pardon me for being confused by your signature line. They look like
one-year-olds to me.

Julie

Megan Byrne wrote:

Anita,
Your trying to make a jole of things does not help the fact that you
have no idea what you are talking about. Why start if you know it wall
cause a "flame war"? If you just responded to stir up something, then
just stop! My kids are 2, not 1. That is the whole point.

~Megan~
Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie
Born September 28, 2002

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis