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#22
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
"Marie" wrote in message news On Mon, 17 May 2004 22:27:04 -0400, Ericka Kammerer wrote: I wouldn't correct table manners or tell them what to eat or anything like that, It is sooo hard for me to have another child over and listen to them sit there chewing with their mouth open, smacking their lips. I want to say something so bad I can barely stand it. (also when kids cough without covering their mouth or at least turning their head away, and this is with kids who are old enough to know better) Marie While I hear you, those would be ones I would choose to let slide. |
#23
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
"Marie" wrote in message ... On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote: In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before. This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways, if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't behave in other people's houses. I would say, "We don't jump on the furniture!" as soon as the child started (usually if the child will do this in the first place the parent isn't planning on stopping it). Marie I cannot assume this pattern that if the child is doing it the parent is not planning on stopping it. At least not on the itty bitties like my 3yo DS. Excitement and a strange place can turn him into another child. Usually for the better, or really more behaved and cautious. But occaisionally not. |
#24
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
In article , Sara says...
Banty wrote, in part: In article , eggs says... I am the mother of two 'sofa jumpers' as we specifically bought big sturdy sofas so that the kids could jump on them. We are an enthusiastic, jumping-up-and-down kind of family. [snip] So, you're an "enthusiastic, jumping-up-and-down kind of family". Are all your hosts to have to anticipate that, or that another set of guests may be "enthusiastic, art-on-the-walls type family", or an "if it's in the refrigerator, it's ours to eat" type of family, or even a "laid-back cool people understand people like us a make-a-call-abroad-when-we feel like it" kind of family? And therefore hand each guest a list of all house rules covering all such items? Or would it be more reasonable for them to expect that their guests have some measure of common sense and courtesy enough to identify which of their activities may be damaging r exploitative to others, and refrain from them? I don't think jumping up and down on furniture is something that needs notice that it's inappropriate. But it sounds like it _is_ appropriate at the Eggs'. Whee! LOL! Let's go! -I'll come in my gym clothes :-) Banty |
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
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#26
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
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#27
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
ted wrote in :
In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before. This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways, if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't behave in other people's houses. It is definitely OK to say something to do them about it. Adults can guess that coffee tables might collapse and sofas might tear, but children don't always realise that. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#28
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
"Marie" wrote in message ... I would say, "We don't jump on the furniture!" as soon as the child started (usually if the child will do this in the first place the parent isn't planning on stopping it). Marie I would prefer someone not correct my child in this manner. It would make me feel more defensive. It would make me feel better if my child was asked, "Please don't jump on the furniture." |
#29
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
On Tue, 18 May 2004 06:46:08 GMT, "eggs"
wrote: I think the answer to your (Ted's) question depends on the age of the "kids". Are they 3 yrs old or 10? I don't see that the age matters, other than my expectation that 10 year olds should darned well know better than to behave that way! Were they made aware of the House Rules when they arrived (or as soon as they transgressed them)? You can't be peeved with them for breaking your rules if you never told them what the rules were in the first place. Sure you can be peeved. Logic dictates that most people aren't going to be very happy when kids come in and act destructively, or do something potentially damaging to your belongings, or to themselves. It's up to parents to teach their children these common sense rules, NOT up to the host to present a list of rules as the guest enters your home. I am the mother of two 'sofa jumpers' as we specifically bought big sturdy sofas so that the kids could jump on them. We are an enthusiastic, jumping-up-and-down kind of family. And yes, stuff gets broken at our house a lot. We will replace the sofas in a couple of years when the kids are older (preschoolers now). So, it's possible that your little guests didn't even know that their behaviour was out of line. Some kids have no experience of delicate furniture. Then it's up to you as a parent to teach them that what is allowed in your home, may not be allowed elsewhere. Otherwise, your kids may possibly be presented with a very LONG list of rules to follow the minute you arrive (likely ticking YOU off), or you'll find yourself lacking invitations to visit. Obviously, my kids do need to be reminded about the different rules at the houses of family and friends, but it has really been no big deal teaching them to respect 'different place different rules'. I do, however, tend to curb my kids a lot when we are out of our house. They are well mannered in a very old fashioned way and are respectful of others. So even though I haven't taught my kids to respect furniture, I have taught them to respect *people*. If you asked them to stop jumping on your sofa, they would stop. How about you teach them that it's not appropriate to even do it at all? So, I guess if I were you I would (like Nan) just ask those kids to stop jumping. It usually works. My friends and I correct each other's kids if they are disobeying house rules (or broader social rules like being rude or mean) - but we start each visit with a reminder of *what the rules are*: "Remember, no shoes on in Grandma's house!", "Remember, no drinks in Bobby's living room!", "Remember, Don't knock on the fish tank!", "Don't change the TV channel on Poppy's TV", "No loud voices in the hospital", etc. It's not fair if you keep the rules to yourself but then get upset when people break them. Common Sense Rules, which is something you as a parent need to teach your children. To blame someone for "keeping the rules to themselves" is just wrong. Nan |
#30
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Do you "correct" others' kids?
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