How Physical Discipline Can Escalate to Child Abuse

On Jul 9, 8:55 am, "0:-]" wrote:
http://www.gvparent.com/Articles/2704abuse.html

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+ April 2006

By: Shannon M. Dean

If lawmakers enact a new bill in California, it will be illegal to
spank the very young and to use implements on minors when physically
punishing them. The legislation has drawn nationwide attention on the
issue of corporal punishment. No laws against spanking exist in New
York, and every parent has their own rules about how to discipline
their child. But if you spank your child, know the difference between
punishment and abuse.

Discipline vs. Abuse
When a parent first taps the bottom of a child having a meltdown, it's
unlikely there's any indication that this may have been the first step
down a slippery slope. The incident may even be forgotten until the
next time, when, now angry or frustrated, the parent hits a little
harder, thinking she's right to administer what she considers the most
effective way to raise a respectful, obedient child. Experts warn that
regardless of a parent's intention, anger coupled with physical
punishment can be a dangerous combination because it's deceptively
easy to cross the line to child abuse - abuse which could have dire
consequences on the child, the family, society, and can even
contribute to the very behavior the parent is trying to avoid.

What's Considered Abusive?
The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines abuse as
an act or failure to act which "results in death, serious physical or
emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation; [or presents] an
imminent risk of serious harm." Although the definition can be vague,
Executive Director Of Kids Firsts' Child Protective Team Rick Hess
says that he often considers criteria such as the existence and
location of injuries, the plausibility of a caregivers' explanation
for the same and data gathered from evidence and interviews to
determine abuse: "A small child will not have a significant head
injury from falling off a 3 to 5 foot high couch," explains Hess.

The problem's the word eminent. people can take a long time to kill
their kid - like that genormous fat kid in the other thread

Crossing the Line
Child advocates warn that even good-intentioned attempts at physical
discipline lose effectiveness over time. Eventually, parents have to
physically punish a child longer and harder to get the same message
across.

so instead reward em with food. yeah that's the ticket.

gotta be one or the other for hardwiring pure pleasure pirnciple vs
some kind of negative pain thing

Research shows that parents can be unaware of the intensity of
physical punishment since it's difficult to be angry enough to
administer it, yet calm enough to gauge and control its intensity.

Like THAT is news. kids that really **** off even their own parents
dont usually do that well on earth anyway

A
2003 London study indicated that parents are likely hitting their
children approximately 40 percent harder than they estimate. "Even the
most mild-mannered parent is capable of hurting their child," says
Nadine Block of the Center For Effective Discipline.

how do they come up with a ridiculous stat like that/ you lose all
credibility there

how does someone estimate how hard theyre hitting the kids? what
scale is that? the ohm?

Sociologist Murray Strauss, the nation's foremost researcher on
corporal punishment explains "two-thirds of all cases of physical
abuse started out as spankings and corporal punishment and then get
out of hand. The parent hits the kid, and the kid hits back.

ah well - that's a sibling relationship then, it just got demoted.
the parent is the one who can scare the most and hit the hardest the
rest are your siblings

So the
parent ups the ante, the kid responds, the ante goes up again, and
eventually the parents are not able to judge just what they are
doing."

or they judge what they're doing and do it anyway

this idea that really excessive child abuse comes in a steady pulse
upwards is crazy

a complete mr rogers kinda parent can suddddenly go ballistic on a kid
(not good not productive) but a tough guy dad can also be judicious in
the use of spanking - some kids do well with the occasional belting as
opposed to endless yammering lectures on crap

how bout the kids vote?

From his extensive experience in child services, Hess says that the
thin line between discipline and abuse is crossed by parents who act
in anger and/or frustration and lose control.

and that's all about anger - how much of it the parents have baseline
and whether they know how to act when angry

the crucial words are (despite all this yammering) AND lose control.
Parents who lose control will have kids who can't control themselves -
none of them belong in the gene pool in the first place.

He strongly encourages
parents to take a break before reacting to troublesome behavior or
attempting to discipline and says that a short walk to calm down is
far better than harming a child in a split second decision that is
later regretted.

DUH.

Far-Reaching Effects
Each year, hundreds of thousands of children suffer abuse,
abandonment, or neglect. The costs and consequences of this cycle are
enormous--affecting the child, family, and society throughout the
child's lifetime. Research shows abused children are more likely to
have developmental delays, suffer depression, exhibit aggression
toward others, drop out of school, commit crimes, use drugs, and later
abuse their own spouses and children.

Block says parents often say they use physical discipline because they
fear if they don't, their child will one day be incarcerated. She says
the opposite is true and assures that physical discipline contributes
to delinquency instead of preventing it. Nearly 80% of incarcerated
juvenile offenders report a history of child abuse. Ralph Welsh, a
child and adolescent psychologist who has interviewed over 4,000
juvenile delinquents in more than 30 years of research explains, "I
have yet to see a repeat male delinquent that wasn't raised on a belt,
board, cord, or fist."

Oh really? Well the same guy also admits that he's seen lots of non-
delinquints raised the same way. so he needs to massage that data
somemore

The Abused Can Become the Abuser
Experts say it's understandable that children who've been shown
violence is a viable way to solve problems may eventually strike back
with their own violent behavior. Research confirms that physical
punishment increases the probability of children assaulting their
parents in retaliation. Hess says that trying to physically discipline
any child older than 11-12 years is problematic because "those kids
will either shut down emotionally or lash out at someone." That may
ultimately be the parents who've demonstrated violence.

An Ounce of Prevention
Children need strong boundaries enforced by involved parents, but the
goal should be to lovingly teach good decision making rather than
unwittingly encouraging deception to avoid physical punishment. Hess
says that cultivating a close parent/child bond, free of anger and
resentment, goes a long way toward making physical discipline less
necessary. Most experts advise parents to consider using a tense
situation to teach a child rather than momentarily controlling him
with a force: "A child is like a fine watch," says Dr. Welsh.
"Sometimes a good whack can make it work temporarily, but it has the
potential to permanently damage the fine mechanism inside."

Good goals and right sentiment. but many things besides whacking
cause damage too and there's no research that tells the difference.
insisting that you always know more than your kid is a good strong
close second to screwing them up. if not in first place.

Shannon Dean is a freelance writer and the mother of two sons.

When concerned about spanking, always consult with
the chicken littles and Romper Room "Miss Betty"'s of the world.

(Lobbyists and suckups for the Child Protection INDUSTRY)

Better yet, when concerned about SPANKING, consult with a
rabid cathartic one man anti spanking lobbyist and his cronies.

The the next time you wish to learn about economics,
consult with a crack whore, pimp or Defense Contractor.

When you wish to learn about Fiscal Responsibility
consult with an Enron exec or a payday advance loan company...

Maybe for Drug policy the people to be consulted are Cheech and Chong?

LOL

On Jul 12, 2:15 pm, Greegor wrote:
When concerned about spanking, always consult with
the chicken littles and Romper Room "Miss Betty"'s of the world.

Everyone has a Constitutional right to express their opinion, Greg.

(Lobbyists and suckups for the Child Protection INDUSTRY)

Better yet, when concerned about SPANKING, consult with a
rabid cathartic one man anti spanking lobbyist and his cronies.

His opinion is as valid as anyone else's.