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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
On Mon, 17 Nov 2003 17:31:43 +1300, "ChrisScaife"
wrote: While you may not respect your former partner, being a mother and hence getting custody does not make you right and him wrong. Neither does it mean you are the appropriate person to decide if, when and under what conditions he may see his child. Should this depend on you being reasonable ? Is it even fair to expect you to be so ? Your ex should not have to fight in court to gain permision for daughter and dad to be together. They have that right unless the courts have been given adequate reasons to take it away. Were they ? This is a very sensible paragraph, and is well directed at both moms and dads who have taken it on themselves to determine appropriate access, rather than following the orders of the court. |
#3
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
"ChrisScaife" wrote in message
... Dear Keely, Thank you for your honest reply. Details of your case were voiced on a Fathers-4-Justice international forum. My mail was not directed at you, but at the social worker it was sent to. It was alleged that she seeks to prevent children (including yours) from having contact with their dads. You will note that content of my e-mail was not "hate mail". I was merely asking why she does this. Even though the given subject of my e-mail was "bitches from hell", at no stage was that epithet applied to anyone in particular. IMHO it is applicable to persons who vindictively seek to alienate the other parent from their child(ren) as often happens after divorce. So was there some confusion as to whom the epithet implicated? That's not exactly hidden between the lines. You state that your daughter's father is violent and has mental health issues. These allegations are all to easily made and, to be on the safe side, often too readily accepted by the authorities. For instance, I know of a case where years later, a mother admits to having "fought dirty" to preclude her ex from contact out of pure spite. To cut a long story short he hung himself... which was explained to the children as proof that he was mentally ill. Can you *honestly* say that you believe your daughter's father would deliberately harm her if he was allowed to be with her on his own ? Has he been found guilty of previous violence against his daughter and has the diagnosis of mentall illness been made by a qualified person? All other things aside, what I find intriguing about the above paragraph is the admission of spite as a motivation. This indicates that there was blame for the original conflict on both sides. There can be no spite otherwise. -- "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't." ----------------------------- Byron "Barn" Canfield |
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
"Byron Canfield" wrote in message news:AH6ub.225525$Fm2.226447@attbi_s04... "ChrisScaife" wrote in message ... Dear Keely, Thank you for your honest reply. Details of your case were voiced on a Fathers-4-Justice international forum. My mail was not directed at you, but at the social worker it was sent to. It was alleged that she seeks to prevent children (including yours) from having contact with their dads. You will note that content of my e-mail was not "hate mail". I was merely asking why she does this. Even though the given subject of my e-mail was "bitches from hell", at no stage was that epithet applied to anyone in particular. IMHO it is applicable to persons who vindictively seek to alienate the other parent from their child(ren) as often happens after divorce. So was there some confusion as to whom the epithet implicated? That's not exactly hidden between the lines. You state that your daughter's father is violent and has mental health issues. These allegations are all to easily made and, to be on the safe side, often too readily accepted by the authorities. For instance, I know of a case where years later, a mother admits to having "fought dirty" to preclude her ex from contact out of pure spite. To cut a long story short he hung himself... which was explained to the children as proof that he was mentally ill. Can you *honestly* say that you believe your daughter's father would deliberately harm her if he was allowed to be with her on his own ? Has he been found guilty of previous violence against his daughter and has the diagnosis of mentall illness been made by a qualified person? All other things aside, what I find intriguing about the above paragraph is the admission of spite as a motivation. This indicates that there was blame for the original conflict on both sides. There can be no spite otherwise. I believe there was and as you pointed out elsewhere there often is. The tragedy is that the authorities allowed themselves to be manipulated by one party to visit revenge upon the other. It is quite possible that that is what this lady is doing right now. I cannot judge that, but she can. I wanted to try and make her aware of it. |
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
-- "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't." ----------------------------- Byron "Barn" Canfield http://www.headsprout.com Flash examples: http://www.canfieldstudios.com/flash5 [I do not respond to private emails regarding issues for which the appropriate venue is this newsgroup, nor do I reply to posts by email.] "ChrisScaife" wrote in message ... "Byron Canfield" wrote in message news:AH6ub.225525$Fm2.226447@attbi_s04... "ChrisScaife" wrote in message ... Dear Keely, Thank you for your honest reply. Details of your case were voiced on a Fathers-4-Justice international forum. My mail was not directed at you, but at the social worker it was sent to. It was alleged that she seeks to prevent children (including yours) from having contact with their dads. You will note that content of my e-mail was not "hate mail". I was merely asking why she does this. Even though the given subject of my e-mail was "bitches from hell", at no stage was that epithet applied to anyone in particular. IMHO it is applicable to persons who vindictively seek to alienate the other parent from their child(ren) as often happens after divorce. So was there some confusion as to whom the epithet implicated? That's not exactly hidden between the lines. You state that your daughter's father is violent and has mental health issues. These allegations are all to easily made and, to be on the safe side, often too readily accepted by the authorities. For instance, I know of a case where years later, a mother admits to having "fought dirty" to preclude her ex from contact out of pure spite. To cut a long story short he hung himself... which was explained to the children as proof that he was mentally ill. Can you *honestly* say that you believe your daughter's father would deliberately harm her if he was allowed to be with her on his own ? Has he been found guilty of previous violence against his daughter and has the diagnosis of mentall illness been made by a qualified person? All other things aside, what I find intriguing about the above paragraph is the admission of spite as a motivation. This indicates that there was blame for the original conflict on both sides. There can be no spite otherwise. I believe there was and as you pointed out elsewhere there often is. The tragedy is that the authorities allowed themselves to be manipulated by one party to visit revenge upon the other. It is quite possible that that is what this lady is doing right now. I cannot judge that, but she can. I wanted to try and make her aware of it. And just what motivation might a person have for being spiteful? -- "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't." ----------------------------- Byron "Barn" Canfield |
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
And just what motivation might a person have for being spiteful?
Is that relevant ? Whether it is justified or not, nobody should be using their children to get at each other. What would king Solomon have said ? In my experience a lot of the resentment is built up when women get together to bitch about their husbands/ex's and exchange tips on how to get their own way. The accused doesn't even know what he is blamed of let alone get the chance to defend himself. An accusation of domestic violence can often be made simply to have the man thrown out of his house. Accusing the woman of violence also results in the man being thrown out, because the mother needs to be there to look after the child and the police don't care who is to blame they just want to separate the trouble makers. You really have no idea of what goes on have you ?! |
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
In article , CJS says...
And just what motivation might a person have for being spiteful? Is that relevant ? Whether it is justified or not, nobody should be using their children to get at each other. What would king Solomon have said ? In my experience a lot of the resentment is built up when women get together to bitch about their husbands/ex's and exchange tips on how to get their own way. The accused doesn't even know what he is blamed of let alone get the chance to defend himself. And the men's rights USENET group is......? Banty |
#8
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should mum be allowed to deny dad contact ?
"CJS" wrote in message
... And just what motivation might a person have for being spiteful? Is that relevant ? You were the one that claimed spite could exist in total absence of any action by the other party. Answer the question. Just what motivation might a person have for being spiteful? Whether it is justified or not, nobody should be using their children to get at each other. What would king Solomon have said ? In my experience a lot of the resentment is built up when women get together to bitch about their husbands/ex's and exchange tips on how to get their own way. And you are doing what? Looks to me like all your posts are doing exactly the same thing, but to people on a world-wide basis, instead of in a small room with a select group. The accused doesn't even know what he is blamed of let alone get the chance to defend himself. An accusation of domestic violence can often be made simply to have the man thrown out of his house. Accusing the woman of violence also results in the man being thrown out, because the mother needs to be there to look after the child and the police don't care who is to blame they just want to separate the trouble makers. You really have no idea of what goes on have you ?! I know that almost any woman who accuses her husband of violence when there has been none has some other reason for wanting that person out of the house. What could that be? -- "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't." ----------------------------- Byron "Barn" Canfield |
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