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#1
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Frustrated
DD turned 8 months on Sunday. Problem... she won't sleep! I'm at my
sleep-deprived wits end. I can explain it away, ie. teething, more mobility, separation anxiety,etc... but rationalizations don't offer solutions. Ok, ok... of course she sleeps, but a "normal" night for us goes like this... nurse to sleep around 8 - 8:30, lay her down in her crib, sometimes she stays asleep, sometimes not. If she does stay down, she is back up by 10. As soon as I latch her on, she is passed out, snoring. I let her comfort suck for a few, then unlatch, she stays asleep on me, until I put her down, then, wide awake, crying. We go through the comfort-suck, unlatch, hold her a few minutes, lay her down, start crying routine 3 or 4 times before she finally settles in her crib for max 2 hours. This repeats throughout the night. It usually takes me 45 min - an hour to fall asleep, so, do the math, and you can see why I'm so frustrated. It's like having a newborn all over again!! We had settled into a semi-decent sleep pattern a couple of months ago, where she would be put down awake, drift off to sleep and only wake once during the night, eat and go back down just fine. But, much to my dismay, this only lasted about 1-2 weeks. Co-sleeping is not an option. Mostly, because neither she nor I sleep very well when we have tried, but also because dh is a very heavy sleeper and most nights, we have a very heavy sleeping, floppy 5 year old in bed with us, too. Her day sleep isn't much better. Rare is the day I can get her to take a decent nap. Thank goodness I have to make two trips to and from dd#1's school each day, otherwise, somedays, dd#2 wouldn't sleep at all (she sometimes dozes off in the car). I did get the _No Cry Sleep Solution_, it came last week, but I haven't had a chance to even look at the Table of Contents, let alone start reading it. And as you can probably tell by my typing, I probably couldn't read a complete sentence and understand it at this point. Mostly just a vent, but any suggestions are welcome. My first two slept through the night at 8 weeks, and unfortunately were ff. NOT going to go there, and I can not and will not let her cry it out, although, lately, there have been many nights she and I have both been crying at each other. Help?!?!?!? Thanks for reading, Jodie |
#2
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Frustrated
"Jodie" skrev i en meddelelse
... asleep on me, until I put her down, then, wide awake, crying. We go through the comfort-suck, unlatch, hold her a few minutes, lay her down, start crying routine 3 or 4 times before she finally settles in her crib Try holding her a little longer - babies take more than a few minutes to fall asleep properly. Tine, Denmark |
#3
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Frustrated
Hi - This could be a bad "habit", and you'll need to help her learn to fall asleep without nursing. (There are various ways to do this, some of which call for crying it out, some of which don't.) But it could also be that your baby is uncomfortable. The lack of daytime napping makes me suspicious ... Have your ped. check her for ear infection, rashes, etc. Does she have any signs that might indicate something else going on? Green stools, eczema or other rash, anything? You might also try some baby painkiller shortly before bed. If she's in pain, from teething or anything else, that should let her sleep for several hours. Good luck, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. |
#4
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Frustrated
"Jodie" wrote in message ... DD turned 8 months on Sunday. Problem... she won't sleep! I'm at my sleep-deprived wits end. I can explain it away, ie. teething, more mobility, separation anxiety,etc... but rationalizations don't offer solutions. Ok, ok... of course she sleeps, but a "normal" night for us goes like this... nurse to sleep around 8 - 8:30, lay her down in her crib, sometimes she stays asleep, sometimes not. If she does stay down, she is back up by 10. As soon as I latch her on, she is passed out, snoring. I let her comfort suck for a few, then unlatch, she stays asleep on me, until I put her down, then, wide awake, crying. We go through the comfort-suck, unlatch, hold her a few minutes, lay her down, start crying routine 3 or 4 times before she finally settles in her crib for max 2 hours. This repeats throughout the night. It usually takes me 45 min - an hour to fall asleep, so, do the math, and you can see why I'm so frustrated. It's like having a newborn all over again!! Hmmm. It's really too bad you can't co-sleep. I'm convinced DD would be exactly the same, except that she's in our bed, so she resettles easily--sometimes by nursing, but sometimes just by shifting into another position. And even if she's awake at night, I'm at least lying down, which is much more restful than sitting up in a chair, or walking the floors. I gotta say that if I had a heavily sleeping husband and 5 year old in my bed, DD and I would be sleeping in another bed just ourselves for a while. You say that neither of you sleep well together either, but I'd consider giving it another try--you're not getting any sleep this way, anyway! Do you have a guest bed or something you could try? I agree with Tine that you should try holding her a longer time until she is deeply asleep . . . we're talking 10-20 minutes here. She should be completely limp. That might do the trick, might not. You could also try playing music or white noise in her room. I remember once when DH was home for the first time with DS, he couldn't get him to sleep until he turned a huge window fan on high and sat next to it (not so the wind was blowing on them). Something about that sound put DS right to sleep. We have a little sound machine that I use for DD now. You can get them pretty cheap. I think after a while they start associating sounds (be it a certain lullaby CD or simply white noise) with sleep and it can make a difference. Have you tried a pacifier? It probably wouldn't work; she'd probably wake up as soon as it would fall out of her mouth, but I'm wondering if she just needs some comfort sucking. If you think it's teething, I'd be really tempted to try some ibuprofin before bed to see if that makes a difference. Afraid I really don't have any great ideas for you, but wanted to offer some sympathy. -- Jodi SAHM to Oliver (2 years, 7 months) & Arwen (5.5 months) |
#5
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Frustrated
(webtv isn't very efficient at ccp'ing, so I'm doing a combo-reply,
forgive me) I will be more aware of her sleep level when I get ready to lay her down. I have tried lengthening the amount of time that I hold her before I put her down, but I may be jumping the gun. I did take her to the ped today to have her checked out. No ear infection. Diapers have been fine. She does has eczema, and has had since she was a newborn. Dr gave me some elidel, which we will try tonight, and I have been using a hydro lotion up till now. FWIW, her not sleeping doesn't seem to coincide with the flare ups. She has had this sleeping "schedule" even when the patches were barely visible. The only other bed option for us is dd#1's twin bed which is very high off the floor and against the wall. I'm not comfortable sleeping with dd#2 in that bed. I may just have to get over that, or tell dh and dd#1 to figure out how THEY can be comfortable in it!! She won't take a paci. Not that I mind, tho. But in the times of desperation, believe me, I have tried. I'll have to try to find some white noise and see if that works. Thanks for all your suggestions. I really appreciate them. Jodie |
#6
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Frustrated
Jodie writes:
: Ok, ok... of course she sleeps, but a "normal" night for us goes like : this... nurse to sleep around 8 - 8:30, lay her down in her crib, : sometimes she stays asleep, sometimes not. If she does stay down, she : is back up by 10. As soon as I latch her on, she is passed out, : snoring. I let her comfort suck for a few, then unlatch, she stays : asleep on me, until I put her down, then, wide awake, crying. We go : through the comfort-suck, unlatch, hold her a few minutes, lay her down, : start crying routine 3 or 4 times before she finally settles in her crib : for max 2 hours. This repeats throughout the night. It usually takes : me 45 min - an hour to fall asleep, so, do the math, and you can see why : I'm so frustrated. It's like having a newborn all over again!! OK. Even if you can't co-sleep, maybe you need to set up a sleeping arrangement for HER so that you can nurse her to sleep, then get up AFTER she is asleep so that you do not have to move her. Larry |
#7
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Frustrated
Ok, ok... of course she sleeps, but a "normal" night for us goes like this... nurse to sleep around 8 - 8:30, lay her down in her crib, sometimes she stays asleep, sometimes not. If she does stay down, she is back up by 10. Two things I've noticed with my daughter (now 15 months) which may or may not work for you... My whole family are night owls and none of us function well with an early bedtime. While most people I know put their kids to bed between 7-8 pm, my daughter simply will not go to sleep that early. We put her to bed around 10:30 and she'll sleep until 7:30 (waking up 1-2 times in between). Maybe a later bedtime would work for you. Also, my husband and I have found that for daytime naps, our daughter sleeps longer if she has some sort of physical contact with someone else. So if we want her to take a long nap in the afternoon, we'll let her sleep on someone's lap, or set her up in a sling or backpack that one of us wears. This can often turn a 30 minute nap into one that lasts 3 hours. Hope you find an answer that works for you! kirsti |
#8
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Frustrated
kirsti wrote in message ...
Ok, ok... of course she sleeps, but a "normal" night for us goes like this... nurse to sleep around 8 - 8:30, lay her down in her crib, sometimes she stays asleep, sometimes not. If she does stay down, she is back up by 10. Two things I've noticed with my daughter (now 15 months) which may or may not work for you... My whole family are night owls and none of us function well with an early bedtime. While most people I know put their kids to bed between 7-8 pm, my daughter simply will not go to sleep that early. We put her to bed around 10:30 and she'll sleep until 7:30 (waking up 1-2 times in between). Maybe a later bedtime would work for you. Also, my husband and I have found that for daytime naps, our daughter sleeps longer if she has some sort of physical contact with someone else. So if we want her to take a long nap in the afternoon, we'll let her sleep on someone's lap, or set her up in a sling or backpack that one of us wears. This can often turn a 30 minute nap into one that lasts 3 hours. Hope you find an answer that works for you! kirsti All I can say is I have had the same problems, but my dd is much younger. Here are the only words of advice I can give: -is she getting enough stimulation/activity during the day to make her tired? My dd (granted, only 4 months old) takes FOREVER to fall asleep if we've had a quiet boring day. Same goes for daytime naps. If I say "she should be due for a nap now" by looking at the clock, we have a long struggle. If I move her from stimulating activity to calming activity (alternating) until I'm certain she's tired (whining, hands trembling slightly, yawning, rubbing eyes etc.) then she goes for a good hour or two. It's hard work, both coming up with stimulating games and calming ones and also reading her cues, but it's paid off because after 3 months of tearful struggles, I can now usually get her to stay down on the first try after 5-10 minutes of rocking (swaddled with pacifier). This is a real high-needs baby mind you, who used to pop up every time we put her down. It's hard also because there are times when it would be great for me if she would take a nap because either I need a nap or a shower or just a break from her, but she doesn't care what's convenient for me. Trying to get her to take a nap when *I* want her to is an exercise in futility. She has to be totally exhausted. -are you drinking coffee or tea during the day? If so, maybe cut down by 1/2 your consumption and see if you notice a change? -Have you tried Mylicon drops? Even if she doesn't seem gassy, maybe she is. I'm not sure if these work or not but some people say yes. I'm not into giving babies lots of meds, but maybe it might help. Or gripe water? Again, never tried it, but some people say it changed everything for them. -Baby Advil? Maybe teething is the cause. -is there a "cool down" period of at least an hour before you start your bedtime routine? (Bath, quiet singing, rocking, etc.) My dd sometimes needs to relax in a quiet dim room for an hour or so before we try to get her to sleep or she just stares up at us like, "What?" Even if this means starting this cooldown process at the time when you normally start trying to get her to sleep and getting her to actually sleep an hour later, it might help you put her down the first time and she might stay down longer. Then as you develop a pattern you can sneak the time up 15 minutes every night until you're putting her down when you want. -have you tried swaddling? It makes the moment when you take your arms away less dramatic for them if they are still snug in a blanket. -I've never tried this, but some people swear by the heating pad in the crib trick. Placing it in a while before bedtime and removing it just before you put baby in. This is really for newborns, but whatever helps them might help an older baby, you never know. -A "lovey" object, a blanket or t-shirt that smells like mom to cling to? Again, never tried it, but some people swear by it. My dd (under her swaddle) clutches handfuls of her pyjamas, so maybe there's something to it. -routine: do you do the same things every time? For some reason I started doing some little tricks that she now expects and it helps the sequence be predictable for her. For example, as I'm rocking her, I started turning dd's face toward my body to keep one eye closed -- makes it twice as hard for her to keep the other eye open. Now when she's getting ready to drift off, she turns her head toward me spontaneously, just because I did it for her so many times in exactly the same way. Same with the pacifier. I never put her down with it in, I always wait until I think she's alseep in my arms to remove it. If she roots around for it I put it back and try again in a few minutes. Lately she's taken to spitting it out herself when she's done. I rock her a few minutes more and then put her down. I don't know if any of this will help, but I had to share whatever tricks I could because I know how you feel. It's so frustrating. Hang in there, I hope things improve! -V. |
#9
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Frustrated - Update
Thank you, everyone, for the suggestions, tricks, and especially the
words of encouragement. Last night, I actually got 6 hours of straight sleep!! It couldn't have come at a better time. One more night like we have been having and I surely would have had a breakdown. I was beginning to get very edgy with poor dh and the other two kiddos, I'm sure they would have locked me in a closet or something more drastic. I think the latest culprit was her teeth. I knew she was teething, it just seemed the "usual" remedies were futile. Thursday, her top left came in and Friday the right. So, I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. Last night, she went down at 8:00, was back up at 8:45, ate on one side then promptly passed out until 5 this morning. She got up then, ate one side, then slept until 8 am. (DS was sick last night, or else I would have gotten more sleep, but I'm NOT complaining, mind you!!) This is certainly a schedule I can live with. Matter of fact, seems like a dream schedule, if only it will continue this way. I'm not going to expect it to, though, that way, if/when it does, I will be pleasantly surprised. Again, I really appreciate all of your suggestions and support. I certainly used many of the ideas and the others, I definitely filed away for future use. You'd think I might know a little bit about raisin' these babies, since she is my third :-P Jodie (who feels amazingly refreshed and ready to deal with the laundry and dishes and dustbunnies that have been piling up for the last week...Anyone wanna help?) |
#10
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Frustrated - Update
good news!! a little sleep makes all the difference doesn't it!?
"Jodie" wrote in message ... Thank you, everyone, for the suggestions, tricks, and especially the words of encouragement. Last night, I actually got 6 hours of straight sleep!! It couldn't have come at a better time. One more night like we have been having and I surely would have had a breakdown. I was beginning to get very edgy with poor dh and the other two kiddos, I'm sure they would have locked me in a closet or something more drastic. I think the latest culprit was her teeth. I knew she was teething, it just seemed the "usual" remedies were futile. Thursday, her top left came in and Friday the right. So, I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. Last night, she went down at 8:00, was back up at 8:45, ate on one side then promptly passed out until 5 this morning. She got up then, ate one side, then slept until 8 am. (DS was sick last night, or else I would have gotten more sleep, but I'm NOT complaining, mind you!!) This is certainly a schedule I can live with. Matter of fact, seems like a dream schedule, if only it will continue this way. I'm not going to expect it to, though, that way, if/when it does, I will be pleasantly surprised. Again, I really appreciate all of your suggestions and support. I certainly used many of the ideas and the others, I definitely filed away for future use. You'd think I might know a little bit about raisin' these babies, since she is my third :-P Jodie (who feels amazingly refreshed and ready to deal with the laundry and dishes and dustbunnies that have been piling up for the last week...Anyone wanna help?) --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.522 / Virus Database: 320 - Release Date: 29/09/03 |
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