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the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 17th 03, 07:15 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

I've been reading a lot of newsgroup archives on this issue on google and
it seems like a pretty hot topic. My son started sleeping thru the night
at 3 months. We let him cry it out and in 30 minutes he was down.

We moved and this threw his schedule off. My wife wasn't able to let him
cry it out again.

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.

We tried letting him cry it out but this time it's different. He's a lot
tougher than before. We did 1hr, and it was killing me. His voice is
so much louder than before and if I even open the door quitely he picks
up on it and cries louder.

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.

We tried the "baby whisperer" method of picking him up, calming him
down and putting him back down but that has not worked so far since it
takes over 20minutes to calm him down.

Right now for 2nights in a row we went over 2hrs of letting him cry and
nothing. No progress. He's just hysterical.

What do we do? What's the longest length someone will let them "cry it
out"?

He's not teething. He's not gassy (he's well burped thru the day). He's
probably not even that hungry because the wife says he's just pacifying
himself thru the night on her breast.

He's never cared much for using a pacifier either and when we've tried
to pull the "switcheroo" (moving him from breast to pacifier) it never
seems to work.

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.



  #2  
Old November 17th 03, 09:03 AM
P. Tierney
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread


wrote:7

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.


I can't fathom how anyone could think that this was good for the kid.

Regardless, if Plan A isn't working, why stick with it? Especially
when...

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in

the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him

let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.


Sounds like a plan. Ride it for awhile.


P.
Tierney


  #3  
Old November 17th 03, 12:57 PM
Sue
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

Well letting a six month old cry himself to sleep isn't something that I
personally would do. I think perhaps your son is having a hard time
adjusting to his new envoirnment and he possibly may need to be closer to
you and your wife. Is there any possibility that you and your wife could
co-sleep with him for a while until this passes. Or your wife could lay down
with him until he is really in a deep sleep? It's a funny things with kids,
the more you are with them and attend to their needs, the more secure they
feel and the less fussy they can be. The more you try to push them away and
make them do things they are not ready for (i.e. putting himself to sleep)
the more fussy they are. Hang in there. I do hope things get better for you.
)
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

wrote in message
...
I've been reading a lot of newsgroup archives on this issue on google and
it seems like a pretty hot topic. My son started sleeping thru the night
at 3 months. We let him cry it out and in 30 minutes he was down.

We moved and this threw his schedule off. My wife wasn't able to let him
cry it out again.

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.

We tried letting him cry it out but this time it's different. He's a lot
tougher than before. We did 1hr, and it was killing me. His voice is
so much louder than before and if I even open the door quitely he picks
up on it and cries louder.

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in

the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him

let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.

We tried the "baby whisperer" method of picking him up, calming him
down and putting him back down but that has not worked so far since it
takes over 20minutes to calm him down.

Right now for 2nights in a row we went over 2hrs of letting him cry and
nothing. No progress. He's just hysterical.

What do we do? What's the longest length someone will let them "cry it
out"?

He's not teething. He's not gassy (he's well burped thru the day). He's
probably not even that hungry because the wife says he's just pacifying
himself thru the night on her breast.

He's never cared much for using a pacifier either and when we've tried
to pull the "switcheroo" (moving him from breast to pacifier) it never
seems to work.

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.





  #4  
Old November 17th 03, 04:33 PM
Stephanie and Tim
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread


wrote in message
...
I've been reading a lot of newsgroup archives on this issue on google and
it seems like a pretty hot topic. My son started sleeping thru the night
at 3 months. We let him cry it out and in 30 minutes he was down.

We moved and this threw his schedule off. My wife wasn't able to let him
cry it out again.

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.

We tried letting him cry it out but this time it's different. He's a lot
tougher than before. We did 1hr, and it was killing me. His voice is
so much louder than before and if I even open the door quitely he picks
up on it and cries louder.

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in

the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him

let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.

We tried the "baby whisperer" method of picking him up, calming him
down and putting him back down but that has not worked so far since it
takes over 20minutes to calm him down.

Right now for 2nights in a row we went over 2hrs of letting him cry and
nothing. No progress. He's just hysterical.

What do we do? What's the longest length someone will let them "cry it
out"?

He's not teething. He's not gassy (he's well burped thru the day). He's
probably not even that hungry because the wife says he's just pacifying
himself thru the night on her breast.

He's never cared much for using a pacifier either and when we've tried
to pull the "switcheroo" (moving him from breast to pacifier) it never
seems to work.

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.




There are 2 source of information on sleeping that I can think of:

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber
The No Cry Sleep Solution by someone whose name I cannot remember.

If I were in your shoes, which I was a while back with my son, I would read
different ideas and see if any helped. I thought reading the whole of the
Ferber book was helpful rather than just "let them cry." IF you are going to
chose a method which involves crying, it is helpful to know if your
situation is one in which crying might be effective. Incidentally, crying is
not the goal, it is a painful side effect of the method.

I know nothing about the The No Cry Sleep Solution other than it is endorsed
by AP organizations and Dr. Sears. So it has to be more gentle than the
Ferber method. I have no anecdotal info about its effectiveness.

Good luck.

S


  #5  
Old November 17th 03, 04:53 PM
lynn
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

In article ,
wrote:
So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.


You can't just CIO. Get the Ferber book and read it to learn more about
these ideas. There was a just recently a great post about it in the
breastfeeding newsgroup, summarizing Ferber and CIO, and popular
misconceptions about it. See
http://www.google.com/groups?selm=JB...shog.newsre a
d.com

Establishing good sleep habits has a lot to do with sleep associations,
routine, and reassurance.

Other suggestions:
a lovey - it was around this age that we noticed that DS liked the feel
of a particular blanket, so we started giving it to him every day when
he slept. Other friends had success with something of the mother's, like
a silk top. And other babies have a favorite stuffed animal or pillow.

- Lynn
  #6  
Old November 17th 03, 05:53 PM
Herself
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

wrote:

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.


A four hour nap?! Sheeh...I wouldn't want to sleep either.

We did naps that were no more than 2 hours, and still do. And no naps
after 4p. P's always asleep by 10, at the latest.

He doesn't sleep through, but at least we get him down at a normal time,
and up at a normal time.
--
'Tis Herself
  #7  
Old November 17th 03, 06:19 PM
Sophie
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread



A four hour nap?! Sheeh...I wouldn't want to sleep either.

We did naps that were no more than 2 hours, and still do. And no naps
after 4p. P's always asleep by 10, at the latest.

He doesn't sleep through, but at least we get him down at a normal time,
and up at a normal time.
--
'Tis Herself


My youngest is 23 months and that's what we do. He naps from 12-2 usually.
No way does he go past 4 pm.

We started putting ours down at a bedtime at 6 months old. We got him
whenever he woke up. I wouldn't let a 6 month old CIO, and certainly not
for an hour or 2.


  #8  
Old November 17th 03, 06:43 PM
Welches
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread


Sophie wrote in message
...


A four hour nap?! Sheeh...I wouldn't want to sleep either.

We did naps that were no more than 2 hours, and still do. And no naps
after 4p. P's always asleep by 10, at the latest.

He doesn't sleep through, but at least we get him down at a normal time,
and up at a normal time.
--
'Tis Herself


My youngest is 23 months and that's what we do. He naps from 12-2

usually.
No way does he go past 4 pm.

We started putting ours down at a bedtime at 6 months old. We got him
whenever he woke up. I wouldn't let a 6 month old CIO, and certainly not
for an hour or 2.


Depends on the child though.
Dd#1 would have a 4 hour nap finishing at about 5:30 or sometimes later,
then would go to bed at 8:30 and sleep 12 hours. That was when she was about
10-12 months. After that I had to get her up by 5:00, and no more than 3
hours, if I wanted her to settle easily.
She still is best (age 3) with 1-1.5hour nap woken at 4:00. Until about
3-4months ago she could sleep till 4:30, and would sleep for 2 hours without
having problems sleeping at 8:30. However she does survive without a sleep
if necessary.
Debbie


  #9  
Old November 17th 03, 06:44 PM
David Spear
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Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

I guess there are two camps he those that say let 'em cry and those that
say "how awful, how can that be good for anyone?"

We moved about a year and a half ago with an 18-month old. Very traumatic.
I am a huge fan of Dr. Ferber and his "Solving your Child's Sleep Problems"
book having now used the method on two children and having many many friends
who have done the same. Yes, it is painful to hear them cry. My wife slept
in the living room with earplugs in while I "ferberized" Erika. It was 3
bad nights, ZERO bad nights since. They are not in pain when they are
crying, they have just learned that "if I cry long enough, they'll come pick
me up". If you got put to sleep every night with a gentle massage, cradled
in someone's arms, maybe a little snack, how would you like being tossed
into a cold bed in a dark room by yourself? It's all about expectations and
associations. The child must learn to associate being put in a dark room in
bed with sleeping. If they are always nursed to sleep, they learn to
associate nursing with sleep and the two become inseparable, can't have one
without the other. Hence if they happen to wake up in the middle of the
night (which is normal, everybody does) of course they are going to want
(need) to be nursed back to sleep.

I had it put to me like this: adults tend to associate pillows with sleep.
Imagine if you will waking up in the middle of the night and your pillow has
gone missing. I doubt you'd roll over and go back to sleep... you need that
pillow, you always sleep with that pillow. Same way with kids and nursing
(or cuddling, cradling, rocking, whatever).

As the Ferber book dictates, you've got to train the baby to associate sleep
with whatever environment you plan on providing at night such as a bed and a
darkened room.

Just my 2 cents, I'm no expert. Good luck, hope you get some sleep soon.

BTW on the issue of naps we put our kids down at 7:30pm every night. They
get enough sleep (even the 6-month-old) that they do not need or want
extended (2hr) naps in the afternoon. We let the baby nap whenever she is
cranky, sometimes she'll have a nap after dinner from 6:30-7pm before bath
time but never has a problem sleeping.

wrote in message
...
I've been reading a lot of newsgroup archives on this issue on google and
it seems like a pretty hot topic. My son started sleeping thru the night
at 3 months. We let him cry it out and in 30 minutes he was down.

We moved and this threw his schedule off. My wife wasn't able to let him
cry it out again.

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.

We tried letting him cry it out but this time it's different. He's a lot
tougher than before. We did 1hr, and it was killing me. His voice is
so much louder than before and if I even open the door quitely he picks
up on it and cries louder.

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in

the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him

let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.

We tried the "baby whisperer" method of picking him up, calming him
down and putting him back down but that has not worked so far since it
takes over 20minutes to calm him down.

Right now for 2nights in a row we went over 2hrs of letting him cry and
nothing. No progress. He's just hysterical.

What do we do? What's the longest length someone will let them "cry it
out"?

He's not teething. He's not gassy (he's well burped thru the day). He's
probably not even that hungry because the wife says he's just pacifying
himself thru the night on her breast.

He's never cared much for using a pacifier either and when we've tried
to pull the "switcheroo" (moving him from breast to pacifier) it never
seems to work.

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for 2hrs.





  #10  
Old November 17th 03, 06:51 PM
Sophie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread


"David Spear" wrote in message
news:mO7ub.16207$1K.12344@edtnps84...
I guess there are two camps he those that say let 'em cry and those

that
say "how awful, how can that be good for anyone?"


I dunno, think the objection is with the age of the *baby* and letting him
CIO for *2* hrs.


We moved about a year and a half ago with an 18-month old. Very

traumatic.
I am a huge fan of Dr. Ferber and his "Solving your Child's Sleep

Problems"
book having now used the method on two children and having many many

friends
who have done the same. Yes, it is painful to hear them cry. My wife

slept
in the living room with earplugs in while I "ferberized" Erika. It was 3
bad nights, ZERO bad nights since. They are not in pain when they are
crying, they have just learned that "if I cry long enough, they'll come

pick
me up". If you got put to sleep every night with a gentle massage,

cradled
in someone's arms, maybe a little snack, how would you like being tossed
into a cold bed in a dark room by yourself? It's all about expectations

and
associations. The child must learn to associate being put in a dark room

in
bed with sleeping. If they are always nursed to sleep, they learn to
associate nursing with sleep and the two become inseparable, can't have

one
without the other. Hence if they happen to wake up in the middle of the
night (which is normal, everybody does) of course they are going to want
(need) to be nursed back to sleep.

I had it put to me like this: adults tend to associate pillows with

sleep.
Imagine if you will waking up in the middle of the night and your pillow

has
gone missing. I doubt you'd roll over and go back to sleep... you need

that
pillow, you always sleep with that pillow. Same way with kids and nursing
(or cuddling, cradling, rocking, whatever).

As the Ferber book dictates, you've got to train the baby to associate

sleep
with whatever environment you plan on providing at night such as a bed and

a
darkened room.

Just my 2 cents, I'm no expert. Good luck, hope you get some sleep soon.

BTW on the issue of naps we put our kids down at 7:30pm every night. They
get enough sleep (even the 6-month-old) that they do not need or want
extended (2hr) naps in the afternoon. We let the baby nap whenever she

is
cranky, sometimes she'll have a nap after dinner from 6:30-7pm before bath
time but never has a problem sleeping.

wrote in message
...
I've been reading a lot of newsgroup archives on this issue on google

and
it seems like a pretty hot topic. My son started sleeping thru the

night
at 3 months. We let him cry it out and in 30 minutes he was down.

We moved and this threw his schedule off. My wife wasn't able to let

him
cry it out again.

Now he's nearly 6 months and his schedule is horribly off. He's cranky
some days, fine other days. Some days it's a 4hr nap, some days it's no
nap. Nights are a mess. He's usually up every 15minutes and pacifcying
himself on my wife and then he finally goes to bed for a few hours. He
wakes up does the nuzzling bit for about 2hrs and then sleeps again for
a few more hours.

We tried letting him cry it out but this time it's different. He's a

lot
tougher than before. We did 1hr, and it was killing me. His voice is
so much louder than before and if I even open the door quitely he picks
up on it and cries louder.

He's on a set schedule again (rice cereal in the am, going for a walk in

the
afternoon, solids in the evening, bath in the evening at pretty much set
times) but we just can't get him to sleep unless my wife is next to him

let
him nuzzle on her breast on and off thru the night.

We tried the "baby whisperer" method of picking him up, calming him
down and putting him back down but that has not worked so far since it
takes over 20minutes to calm him down.

Right now for 2nights in a row we went over 2hrs of letting him cry and
nothing. No progress. He's just hysterical.

What do we do? What's the longest length someone will let them "cry it
out"?

He's not teething. He's not gassy (he's well burped thru the day).

He's
probably not even that hungry because the wife says he's just pacifying
himself thru the night on her breast.

He's never cared much for using a pacifier either and when we've tried
to pull the "switcheroo" (moving him from breast to pacifier) it never
seems to work.

So, question is...how long has anyone let there baby CIO? The 1st time
around at 3 months, 30-40minutes was painful but it worked. This time
around it is so much harder.

Also, I know a lot of people are opposed to the CIO method but I can't
function at work on the 3-5hrs of sleep I get and my son is always
happiest when he gets a really long sleep at night.

Any suggestions? We just went in and got him again and he cried for

2hrs.







 




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