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#21
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DS and eating
"Amanda" wrote in message ... "xkatx" wrote in message news:S0_4i.51448$Xh3.51004@edtnps90... "Stephanie" wrote in message news:rYY4i.9904$xP.2162@trndny04... "xkatx" wrote in message news:NDX4i.43563$g63.37505@edtnps82... Alright, this is driving me absolutely bonkers. I really don't know what to do with this one, so I'm hoping someone has some ideas! I'm x-posting (alt.mothers & misc.kids) - hope no one minds. DS is now 6. He seems to be a fairly fussy eater, and has been for some time. He doesn't like mushrooms. He doesn't like much for vegetables. Not crazy about too many fruits, other than a rare banana, watermelon, apples. Doesn't like yogurt, etc. I tend to 'sneak' these foods into his diet, though, so it's not too big of a concern at times. The problem is, though, I am getting sick and tired of certain things he does. When eating, if he doesn't like it (and I know he doesn't) rather than fight about it, I tell him to just pick it out and put it on the side of his plate. Example, eating spaghetti and I put mushrooms in it. Just put it on the side of his plate, and let it be. The problem is, he seems to 'hide' food he doesn't like or want. I find the toast crust shoved in the corner of his chair at the table - same with the green beans or lima beans or whatever out of his meals. He'll discreetly 'drop' the stuff he doesn't like under the table, under his chair or on his chair. If it were me, I would keep my eye on him during meals. Presumably you are sitting there too? Watch him. As his hand goes down to his chair, with food in it, you tell him that there is no purpose whatsoever to be moving food off the table to anywhere other than his mouth. If it persists, as with any other table manner problem, the meal is done. Watching him the whole time, or even most of the time, is fairly hard. I often have to deal with DD1, as she's 22 months. Feeds herself, but still have to watch her like a hawk or food goes into her ears, hair, lap, whatever. I also have to spend a bit of time cutting up and getting her food ready for her to eat. I also often have to deal with DD2, who doesn't eat, but sits with us in her chair or in her exersaucer while we eat. I always have to turn to her and make sure I know she's there (and let her see me) or she has a clingy-freakout session. Also with a 6yo, probably preceeding the aforementioned, you might sit down and talk about it non-mealtime. Does he have a problem pushing it to the side of the plate? What is the problem? Can you think of any ways to solve this problem that don't involve stuffing the food into the chair? This is, of course, assuming this is a table manners issue you are willing to move on. My son prefers to have a separate small plate off his plate to move the stuff he can't stand. I don't really understand his reasoning. But I guess I don't have to. It makes a huge mess, and quite frankly, doing a full vacuum of the table area EVERY meal, 3x a day, shouldn't be necessary, I don't believe. But I have to because there's a huge mess. I would not accept a 6yo pitching food on the floor, at least as much for the sake of said 6yo who is learning how to get along in the world and in a family. I would let him know that his presence at the table is contingent on his using table manners of a human being. If he cannot do that, he is not welcome at the table. Food will resume when he can eat it without strewning it all over the floor. (If he was 2 this would be a completely different matter.) It isn't always stuff he doesn't like. To me, it almost seems like he's gone back to the toddler stage of when he just doesn't want anymore, he'll drop it. One quesion comes to mind... does he do this at school? If so, then my advice will be completely different. His cereal at breakfast - if he doesn't want to finish it, he will do the same dropping or hiding thing. I don't know why. I have never forced him to eat anything more when he claims to be full, nor have I ever forced him to eat anything he doesn't like. He knows the rules are that if you try it once and don't like it, fine. He also knows the rules are that if he serves himself food (and he is definitely at that age where he likes to serve himself) then he must eat all he takes - he knows to start small and have seconds and is usually real good with this, with the exception of the 'dropping' and 'hiding'. If someone else serves him, he needs to eat an acceptable amount and if he says he's full before the plate is done, then there are no snacks until next meal (although he is more than welcome to snack on the previous meal he filled up on) I'm just wondering why he is dropping and hiding this food. He's 6. You can ask him. It's really starting to drive me insane. I've always thought that the food thing wasn't an issue. He has been doing this for quite some time - I'd say he started about 2 years ago, but lately it seems to be getting worse. We had to put DD1 back into her high chair to remove her booster seat partly because he was hiding food under her booster seat. (other reason is this booster has no straps to tie her in, so she stands or gets up) He definitely makes more of a mess at any given meal than DD1 does, and she is only 22 months. Sorry this is so long. Tried to offer as much info as possible! Any ideas? This may or may not make a lick of sense here we go. . . He is 6 as said b-4 not 2, well explain this too him and explain that his sister may do this but it is NOT acceptable for him to do this, then as far as watching him ,have everyone's plate ready then call the to the table, i have 4 children that i watch as well as 2 babies at meal times when i baby-sit, i prepare the food that need cut up in the kitchen the set the items they can get themselves on the table then call them for eating all the same while eating with them and having to feed one of the babies as well as (Same as you) comforting and making sure the 4 mo is happy and yes she is very clingy also so i have too be insight at all times, now these are all 3 yo's not 6, but after they all go home i still have my 2 7 yo's my 6 yo and my 3 yo too feed and I continue to do this also.. just try to experiment around with "different- new" foods, that he has never had and he may open his eyes to something that is awesomely nutritious and delicious... as also noted easy and fun to make, another suggestion is having him help you prepare the food and washing the dishes, maybe when he see's how long it takes he will value your time cooking and realize this a bit... like i said just my .02,, Ok back to the regular scheduled programs. . .and ohh a good sight for good fun and fast meals is craftfoods .com give it a whirl. . . and by all means good luck!! Amanda do you mean kraftfoods . com? or is there a different site you were referencing? Teri |
#22
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DS and eating
xkatx wrote:
"Rosalie B." wrote in message news I think he is old enough to clean everything up himself. Before he can leave the dining area, he has to clean all the areas where he hides food. Alternatively, have him eat in the kitchen or somewhere that there is no hiding place for the food. The only place we eat is at the table in the kitchen (we don't have any sort of dining room or anything) and food, right from the start, has not been allowed in bedrooms, living room, etc., mainly because I am not crazy about the greater possibility of bugs and running around looking for missing dishes doesn't appeal to me. I like the idea of him cleaning up, but we've had some issues with temper tantrums, which we are working on and it is getting far better. Maybe that will be the deal, and he can sit there all night if he refuses? I'm sure he'd eventually do it! [snip] I know you don't want to change this on a permanent basis, but could you have a two-pronged approach. You could start having meals in a different place, and also make him clean up after himself. If it has been going on as long as you say, then it is engrained behaviour, and will be much harder to stop then the new rules when eating in a different place. After a week or two, you could move back to the kitchen. Sometimes you just have to put up with the tantrums! -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#23
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote:
"Banty" wrote in message ... I used to take out a portion for my picky eater and then do the rest of the cooking for the family. For instance she didn't want any sauce at all on her spaghetti, so I would take some out before I put the sauce on. What with microwaves etc now, you can even do this in advance and just reheat. And of course talk with him about what the food-dropping is doing and why it's bad. And make him clean it up. So you both work on this together. Banty Cleaning it up himself is definitely a very good and simple idea. Sometimes, though, I don't check and he's already bolted from the table and gone. Calling him back often causes him to be defiant and just stand there, refusing, and pout. Often I will just do it myself because it's easier than having a toddler track it about everywhere. I think talking would help, but for this, I will have to find a way that works for HIM to talk, as he can get difficult (as some do at this age, it seems!) Bolting from the table is not acceptable table manners. Work on that first (while you continue to do the cleaning up for him). We always had to ask if we could be excused from the table, and sometimes the answer was No. Once you get that under control, then you can work on the food issue. Pouting is also not acceptable. Do not cave in and do it yourself. If you have a SO, then maybe he can take some responsibility for supervising the cleanup. |
#24
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote in message news:S0_4i.51448$Xh3.51004@edtnps90... "Stephanie" wrote in message news:rYY4i.9904$xP.2162@trndny04... "xkatx" wrote in message news:NDX4i.43563$g63.37505@edtnps82... Alright, this is driving me absolutely bonkers. I really don't know what to do with this one, so I'm hoping someone has some ideas! I'm x-posting (alt.mothers & misc.kids) - hope no one minds. DS is now 6. He seems to be a fairly fussy eater, and has been for some time. He doesn't like mushrooms. He doesn't like much for vegetables. Not crazy about too many fruits, other than a rare banana, watermelon, apples. Doesn't like yogurt, etc. I tend to 'sneak' these foods into his diet, though, so it's not too big of a concern at times. The problem is, though, I am getting sick and tired of certain things he does. When eating, if he doesn't like it (and I know he doesn't) rather than fight about it, I tell him to just pick it out and put it on the side of his plate. Example, eating spaghetti and I put mushrooms in it. Just put it on the side of his plate, and let it be. The problem is, he seems to 'hide' food he doesn't like or want. I find the toast crust shoved in the corner of his chair at the table - same with the green beans or lima beans or whatever out of his meals. He'll discreetly 'drop' the stuff he doesn't like under the table, under his chair or on his chair. If it were me, I would keep my eye on him during meals. Presumably you are sitting there too? Watch him. As his hand goes down to his chair, with food in it, you tell him that there is no purpose whatsoever to be moving food off the table to anywhere other than his mouth. If it persists, as with any other table manner problem, the meal is done. Watching him the whole time, or even most of the time, is fairly hard. I often have to deal with DD1, as she's 22 months. Feeds herself, but still have to watch her like a hawk or food goes into her ears, hair, lap, whatever. That's almost 2. I would broach this at the same time! You fiddle with your food, your tray goes and you are DONE. She will maybe understand the words. But she won't get it until she experiments a few times. If she throws a tantrum, do not cave in. 1. If she was really, really hungry she would have been more motivated to eat 2. she is not going to starve before the next regularly scheduled snack or meal. I also have to spend a bit of time cutting up and getting her food ready for her to eat. I also often have to deal with DD2, who doesn't eat, but sits with us in her chair or in her exersaucer while we eat. I always have to turn to her and make sure I know she's there (and let her see me) or she has a clingy-freakout session. You have to always be looking at the 2 year old? Also with a 6yo, probably preceeding the aforementioned, you might sit down and talk about it non-mealtime. Does he have a problem pushing it to the side of the plate? What is the problem? Can you think of any ways to solve this problem that don't involve stuffing the food into the chair? This is, of course, assuming this is a table manners issue you are willing to move on. My son prefers to have a separate small plate off his plate to move the stuff he can't stand. I don't really understand his reasoning. But I guess I don't have to. It makes a huge mess, and quite frankly, doing a full vacuum of the table area EVERY meal, 3x a day, shouldn't be necessary, I don't believe. But I have to because there's a huge mess. I would not accept a 6yo pitching food on the floor, at least as much for the sake of said 6yo who is learning how to get along in the world and in a family. I would let him know that his presence at the table is contingent on his using table manners of a human being. If he cannot do that, he is not welcome at the table. Food will resume when he can eat it without strewning it all over the floor. (If he was 2 this would be a completely different matter.) It isn't always stuff he doesn't like. To me, it almost seems like he's gone back to the toddler stage of when he just doesn't want anymore, he'll drop it. One quesion comes to mind... does he do this at school? If so, then my advice will be completely different. His cereal at breakfast - if he doesn't want to finish it, he will do the same dropping or hiding thing. I don't know why. I have never forced him to eat anything more when he claims to be full, nor have I ever forced him to eat anything he doesn't like. He knows the rules are that if you try it once and don't like it, fine. He also knows the rules are that if he serves himself food (and he is definitely at that age where he likes to serve himself) then he must eat all he takes - he knows to start small and have seconds and is usually real good with this, with the exception of the 'dropping' and 'hiding'. If someone else serves him, he needs to eat an acceptable amount and if he says he's full before the plate is done, then there are no snacks until next meal (although he is more than welcome to snack on the previous meal he filled up on) I'm just wondering why he is dropping and hiding this food. He's 6. You can ask him. It's really starting to drive me insane. I've always thought that the food thing wasn't an issue. He has been doing this for quite some time - I'd say he started about 2 years ago, but lately it seems to be getting worse. We had to put DD1 back into her high chair to remove her booster seat partly because he was hiding food under her booster seat. (other reason is this booster has no straps to tie her in, so she stands or gets up) He definitely makes more of a mess at any given meal than DD1 does, and she is only 22 months. Sorry this is so long. Tried to offer as much info as possible! Any ideas? |
#25
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DS and eating
xkatx wrote:
Hahaha I actually tried that with him once. It worked. I actually didn't think to try it for this, though. He didn't want to clean up his room, and I told him I understood (come to think of it, I don't ever want to clean my room, the bathroom, the laundry, dishes, floors...) So I asked him if he wanted me to help him. He said yes, so I took his hand and picked up each toy one by one, using HIS hand. It took about 3 or 4 toys to be picked up like this and put away before he swung his arm away from me and told me he'd do it himself. Ever since that time, if I ask him if he wants help with picking up his room, he says no. Uhhhhhhhh good one! I set a timer and tell him everything that's not picked up by the time the timer goes off will be tossed.... He does panic for about a minute and then picks up and put his stuff away. Ok, sometimes he tries to cheat by putting stuff on his bed (I toss everything on the floor) but then I just set the timer again for a shorter time and tell him he needs to put his "junk" away propperly. But I second the "Clean up your own mess" idea. I think it'll probably have the best effect. We started cleaning up the kitchen table together now and it worls really well, apparently putting things into the dishwasher is fun if you pretend it's the boot/trunk of a car. cu nicole |
#26
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote in message newsZZ4i.51447$Xh3.21534@edtnps90... . The cereal for breakfast? He even gets to pick that out almost every time. I do have a say (I don't buy those chocolate Lucky Charms which is full of nothing but sugar) but he normally will pick something like Frosted Flakes or Honeycombs, which I can handle. I find THAT all over and around the tables and chairs as well, and it's normally in an isolated area each time, which makes me know it's not just him being a sloppy eater I make a lot of things just 'special' for his liking - fried rice, I make with mushrooms, I make a special bit for him with no mushrooms. Eggs - I know he likes them poached, I like them over easy, N likes them basted. I do basted for N and I, poached for him, or just poach them all. I will make a single small pot of soup he likes for lunch, and the rest of us will eat another kind as well. I do try and make it easier for him, but sometimes it's just not possible to do it all the way only he likes it, as then we'd be eating next to nothing. If he does this with foods he likes, foods he picks out, then this is not solely, or perhaps not at all, an issue of hiding/disposing incorrectly of items not wanted/preferred. It is a behavioral issue that needs to be addressed as such. After doing this for as long as he has been it is a habit, perhaps one he is unaware he is engaging in a lot of the time. He needs to have the behavior brought to his attention so he is aware of it. He also needs to clearly hear that it is unacceptable and what the acceptable alternatives are. A discussion at the time of discovery of the first mess would be appropriate [even a mess of one bean], including the clear statement of what can be done instead. Involved in that discussion could be a question about what the reason he is doing it but don't allow lots of discussion with excuses because you will get side tracked enough that he will loose the main point of the whole discussion. Asking him for solutions is appropriate for his age, although you may have to veto some or all of them as either too drastic [common offering of kids] or otherwise inappropriate. Guided suggestions such as offering choices A and B might be helpful, depending on him and how receptive he is during the conversation. Cleaning up his mess every single time he makes one is part of such a solution. Limiting or banning eating out at friends/restaurants might be another component because you have no guarantees he won't exhibit the behavior there since he does it at home [your explanation to him]. Resumption of eating away from home could be earned by successfully following the proper practices for a week might be a good reward, if he sees it as one, for compliance with house rules. Don't make him work longer than he is capable of sustaining the behavior or he and you are set up for a failure you don't want to deal with. Do your best to set him up for success without making it a gimme; make him realize he did have to do something to earn the desired event/item. Make sure you give positive feedback to him [express that you have noticed] every time he complies with the rule, in the beginning stages. After he's made it through a week, say, change your complements, which should be genuine not gushy, to intermittent. An intermittent reinforcement schedule is the strongest one there is because the person has no idea when they will receive the reinforcer [the compliment/praise] and want it enough that they will continue the behavior until they get it. Fade out the frequency of the praise as he gets better at doing what is expected without reminders. I hope those thoughts are helpful and good luck! -Aula |
#27
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote in message news:NDX4i.43563$g63.37505@edtnps82... DS is now 6. He seems to be a fairly fussy eater, and has been for some time. Sounds like my 6yo! Not only does he get fussier by the day but his appetite has really gone down as well. The problem is, though, I am getting sick and tired of certain things he does. When eating, if he doesn't like it (and I know he doesn't) rather than fight about it, I tell him to just pick it out and put it on the side of his plate. I do that a little bit too. Luke hates it. He's totally offended by it. He mostly has to live with it but I do try to have options available so he can choose. For example I'll have plain corn as well as the mixed veggie. He also needs the food off his plate and away from his area, different forks etc. I can live with this as long as he keeps a lid on the verbal tirade. The problem is, he seems to 'hide' food he doesn't like or want. I find the toast crust shoved in the corner of his chair at the table - same with the green beans or lima beans or whatever out of his meals. He'll discreetly 'drop' the stuff he doesn't like under the table, under his chair or on his chair. I'd try .... 1) Give him a bowl or something for items he picks out. 2) Quit making him eat a certain amount (even if he dished it up), dish up things he doesn't like, etc. 3) See if you can replace the action of throwing it on the floor with taking his whole plate to the sink. That will only work if he's allowed complete control of when he is done. I know not all parents agree with that. If none of that works you can try a couple different things. 1) Get him to clean it up. If this is a huge fight that might be a little draining or difficult with two babies to look after. You'll only have so much time. I know it would be damn near impossible for me to spend 30 minutes trying to get mine to clean something up. He'd be on a massive power trip and could probably last for 2 hours, I'd be popping a vessel, the littles would be fussing and crying, the 8yo wouldn't be doing his thing...total nightmare, lol. 2) Explain that cleaning up the mess is not working for you and he'll have to sit by you throughout his whole meal until he is able to sit without making a mess. Then watch him so he doesn't do it. That means he'll have to wait to start eating until you are ready to sit down and if you have to get up after 15 minutes, then I guess his meal is done too. You'd have to organize yourself to be able to sit for at least 10-15minutes and set it up so you can watch him and the babes (so perhaps he has to sit in a less desirable spot) but the easier part is that you control the time. You are done when *you* say done, not when he relents and does something (like in the above case). He also knows the rules are that if he serves himself food (and he is definitely at that age where he likes to serve himself) then he must eat all he takes - he knows to start small and have seconds and is usually real good with this, with the exception of the 'dropping' and 'hiding'. If someone else serves him, he needs to eat an acceptable amount and if he says he's full before the plate is done, then there are no snacks until next meal (although he is more than welcome to snack on the previous meal he filled up on) You say you are allowing him to stop when he is full, or not eat things he doesn't want etc - but IMO you aren't really doing that. You choose the exceptable amount, not him. If he dishes up more then he wants maybe it would be better to not allow him to dish things up himself next time. That is a privealge for kids that can do it responsibly. I don't think you can win the rule that he eats everything he dishes up because you can't *make* a kid eat. They'll sit there all night, hide food in their pockets, under boosters, in the chair, etc My 6yo regularly wants more then he knows he can eat. One way we drove the point home was with breakfast. He loves pancakes for breakfast and I make them ahead of time and freeze them. I started making only 7 pancakes (one for each day). He always wanted two, but only ever ate one. When he ran out of pancakes because we through them in the sink he realized why it might be wise to start small. He's now obsessed that I might run out of syrup but it did help with the over dishing. He still does it but not nearly as bad. Is there anything like that you might try? Good luck!! -- Nikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 |
#28
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DS and eating
"Cindi - HappyMamatoThree" wrote in message ... "enigma" wrote in message . .. "xkatx" wrote in news:mNZ4i.51445$Xh3.19049@edtnps90: "Stephanie" wrote in message news:SYY4i.9905$xP.7120@trndny04... I don't know about the picky eater thing but as for the vacuuming thing, maybe put a sheet or something under his seat so that if he drops food you can just pick up the sheet and toss the food, then use the sheet again for later meals. Other than that, kids go through phases where they don't like anything. Hopefully it'll pass soon. -- If he was 2, I would agree with the sheet idea. But he is 6. Yes, I agree with this... well, you can use a splat mat or you can keep mopping/vacuuming the floor... OR, you can make him clean up his own mess. don't allow him to leave the table until he has swept around his chair & picked all the food off it. he *can* do this. my kid was taught to pick up his mess & put his dishes in the sink (after scraping leftovers into either the garbage or the dog's dish) when he was 3. it's part of his chores. as far as him being a picky eater, we have a rule that you must try one bite of an unfamiliar food. if you dislike it, you don't have to eat it, but you also *cannot* say "yuck!" or any variation thereof, you may not whine about it being on your plate & you may not remove it from your plate. personally, i don't serve Boo things he doesn't like. if i'm making lasagna for us, i'll boil some bowtie noodles for him at the same time. he doesn't like the mouth feel of lasagne & i understand that. i will offer him a bite, in case his tastes have changed, but it's not an issue if he chooses not to. i don't make his father eat beets or lima beans either, although Boo & i love them (with beets, daddy gets the greens, which Boo doesn't care for & we get the beets sorry Barb! g). mushrooms have a very distictive mouth feel too, which i dislike, although i like the taste. cream of mushroom is ok. chunks of mushroom are icky. lee Lee, We have so found that it is often the texture and not the taste in so many instances. Artichokes are the thing that comes to mind first. Our children all love spinach and artichoke dip, but not artichokes steamed or artichoke hearts in a salad. Green beans cooked to death are a no, but slightly firm are a winner. Frozen or fresh peas are a yes, canned is nasty. I find I'm a very texture person. My mom is as well. I'm also a big 'smeller' - like my dad. I only noticed it when someone pointed it out to me. I smell everything before eating/drinking/tasting it, even if I know what it is and know already if I like it/don't like it. Both my mom and I don't like watermelon simply because of the strange texture. DS seems to dislike things based on visual only. It's definitely not the taste - I have tossed stuff like onions and mushrooms in the processor and mushed it up to almost noting, and DS eats it fine. Green beans, another one I know he's not one for, I have put a jar of baby food pureed green beans in something like a spaghetti sauce and he doesn't notice (no one does, actually!) With five of us I frequently cook something that has incredients others don't like. The kids know to simply ignore what they don'e like and scoot it over to the side. After one bite if they don't like it it's okay just leave it. And each child's mess is his own to clean up. Floor, chair, table around their plate. Trash in the garbage, meat scraps to the dogs, etcetera. Xkatx You might try an idea my sister used with her sets of twins. She has 2 sets and all of them seem to have different food likes and dislikes, and texture tolerances. So she used the tapas method of serving. Purchase some custard cups or salsa bowls (small not pretty, the ones at the dollar store are perfect) and allow them to have each food in a separate small bowl. Yes it makes for a bit more washing, I know that. But if it means there is no huge mess to clean up, and no tantrums at the table, etcetera then it might be worth it. You might add that he rinses and puts his dishes in the dishwasher when he is done. One of my nieces has such a texture aversion that if foods were touching it would make her gag. Not tantrum acting out, just the way she is, some odors do the same thing for her. Hm... I never knew about this, but I also know that to this day, I do NOT like my food touching the other food. Until I moved away from home, I had used a divided plate lol It was a plastic plate divided in 3 sections. I believe my mom bought these when I was about 5, maybe. Just out of habit, I always used them, even though they were plastic and very neon color (which was, I might add, VERY popular back when I was about 5!) I do find my stomach does a few flip-flops if N is eating. Certain things make me almost lose my appetite if I see him do it. Steak, potatos, corn, sour cream and cottage cheese. He will smear his meat right across the sour cream AND cottage cheese and add a scoop of corn and a piece of potato on his fork before he shoves it in his mouth. Me? I'll eat all the potatos first. When those are done, I'll eat the meat. When that's done, I'll eat the corn. At the end, I'll plop a bit of cottage cheese on the plate and eat that. Again, I didn't even notice I did this until someone pointed it out that I eat each item one at a time. Now, abut the dishes being put in the dishwasher... Would be a lot easier if I still had my dish washer... It broke and I got rid of it a while back, so putting dirty dishes in me is not an idea - but DS is expected to take his plate to the sink and scrape it in the garbage first (I HATE floating things in the dish water...It's gross, and he knows that lol) He doesn't seem to care if things mix - he often mixes things, like his dad. I hope you find a good solution that works for all of you and doesn't turn dinner into a battle ground Cindi |
#29
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DS and eating
"Rosalie B." wrote in message ... "xkatx" wrote: "Banty" wrote in message ... I used to take out a portion for my picky eater and then do the rest of the cooking for the family. For instance she didn't want any sauce at all on her spaghetti, so I would take some out before I put the sauce on. What with microwaves etc now, you can even do this in advance and just reheat. And of course talk with him about what the food-dropping is doing and why it's bad. And make him clean it up. So you both work on this together. Banty Cleaning it up himself is definitely a very good and simple idea. Sometimes, though, I don't check and he's already bolted from the table and gone. Calling him back often causes him to be defiant and just stand there, refusing, and pout. Often I will just do it myself because it's easier than having a toddler track it about everywhere. I think talking would help, but for this, I will have to find a way that works for HIM to talk, as he can get difficult (as some do at this age, it seems!) Bolting from the table is not acceptable table manners. Work on that first (while you continue to do the cleaning up for him). We always had to ask if we could be excused from the table, and sometimes the answer was No. Once you get that under control, then you can work on the food issue. That sounds good. Pouting is also not acceptable. Do not cave in and do it yourself. If you have a SO, then maybe he can take some responsibility for supervising the cleanup. Ugh. This is one thing that, actually, drives me crazy. N will remind DS to take his plate to the sink when he's done, but guess who leaves their dirty plate on the table??? The one who told the kid to remember his plate! Nothing drives me up a wall faster than when you (or he or she, whatever) tells the child to do something but cannot do it themselves. N does this all the time. DS will take his plate every time if reminded, most of the time if not reminded, and it's often N that reminds. It's also me that has to remind N to do the same. I do believe there are some things an adult can do or not do that a child can or can't do, but for something like this, I do believe that if you tell the kid to pick up his plate, you better do it as well. I have, many times, called N back to the table to put his plate in the sink. N has an issue with authority, and always has, and I simply get an, "Alright, I'll do it in a bit." and I'll say, no, now please, as it should have been done already. He'll sit there doing whatever he was doing and I have left the plate and the next meal (usually breakfast for DS before school) the dirty plate is still sitting there if I haven't picked it up. |
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote in message news:Rm95i.51300$V75.44029@edtnps89... Ugh. This is one thing that, actually, drives me crazy. N will remind DS to take his plate to the sink when he's done, but guess who leaves their dirty plate on the table??? I had this problem with my husband. When I pressed him, he said that he worked hard all day and shouldn't *have* to take his own plate! Maybe your husband subconsciously feels the same way. I did point out that if he wants the kids to learn to take theirs, then he needs to lead by example, and he got better. Not perfect, but better. And he generally helps with the rest of the cleanup -- will even do it himself if I'm busy or being lazy, so I can't complain. Zorra |
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