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upset at nanny -- vent



 
 
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  #11  
Old February 7th 04, 02:02 AM
Nina
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Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no...


Nina wrote:

Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything
without permission
she meant no harm.


Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing.

"Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done.

Dawn

I agree. There are 2 issues
1. being angry at the nanny
2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat

She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed down. In
her view harm was done,it was upsetting.
Thats legit. When my bby had the flu and I had to leave her in the hospital
a few hours, I came back and found a bottle of formula
in her crib and NOT the breastmilk I'd left. I was NOT pleased, though there
seems to have been a genuine mixup. I did complain to a FEW people
and once it was fixed, apologies made, I did calm down. As much as we hate
it, when we leave our kids with anyone other than ourselves
they ARE going to do things we wouldnt, just by NOT being us. You cant
really cover EVERY single possible situation, and sometimes
people innocently do things you consider harmful. Like I said, I think thats
the hardest part of being a parent, you CANT be there 100%
of the time and it can be so frustrating when things dont go as you wish.


  #12  
Old February 7th 04, 02:18 AM
Dawn Lawson
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Default upset at nanny -- vent



Nina wrote:
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no...


Nina wrote:


Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything
without permission
she meant no harm.


Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing.

"Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done.

Dawn


I agree. There are 2 issues
1. being angry at the nanny
2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat

She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed down. In
her view harm was done,it was upsetting.


Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's
been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies.
If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty
irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got"
the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as
actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a
bit worrisome.

Dawn

  #13  
Old February 7th 04, 03:01 AM
Nina
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Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no...


Nina wrote:
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no...


Nina wrote:


Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything
without permission
she meant no harm.

Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing.

"Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been

done.

Dawn


I agree. There are 2 issues
1. being angry at the nanny
2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat

She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed

down. In
her view harm was done,it was upsetting.


Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's
been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies.
If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty
irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got"
the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as
actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a
bit worrisome.

Dawn

I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something
similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of
complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or invalidating
her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that
I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging how
hard and frustrating it is when you have kids
you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at best,
things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent
inevitable.
If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I
meant.


  #14  
Old February 7th 04, 04:10 AM
Shannon G
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Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here
I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for
allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and
freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything
in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just
upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that
contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals.
But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give
him bread, so she should not give him bread.

She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes.
I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family
history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's
been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema
in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh,
wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are
in that anyway? She said she's never ever read
ingredient lists.

But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe
she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness,
he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is
never to do this again.

She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause
for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming!
It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it.

-- Anita --
Pillbug's almost 8 months!


Day care providers, nannys, MIL, care givers etc. are individuals who take
care of our babes when we can't. They do what they know to take the best
care of our babes as they know how.

I would be irate at one someone who blatantly disrespected my wishes or
orders concerning my child. However, I could only be angry at myself if I
didn't make my wishes VERY CLEAR to the caregiver.

OK, you don't feed cereal in a bottle to a 3 week old, you don't give uncut
grapes as finger foods....but a piece of bread to an eight month old?
Unless you specifically gave her feeding instructions you have only yourself
to blame. JMO.

Shannon




  #15  
Old February 7th 04, 04:35 AM
Dawn Lawson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent



Nina wrote:

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no...


Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's
been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies.
If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty
irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got"
the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as
actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a
bit worrisome.

Dawn


I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something
similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of
complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or invalidating
her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that
I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging how
hard and frustrating it is when you have kids
you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at best,
things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent
inevitable.
If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I
meant.


Did a bit, but this is clearer. Thanks for being willing to add a
clarification! :-)

Dawn

  #16  
Old February 7th 04, 04:58 AM
Nina
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:72ZUb.423167$X%5.161559@pd7tw2no...


Nina wrote:

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no...


Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's
been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies.
If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty
irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got"
the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as
actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a
bit worrisome.

Dawn


I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something
similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of
complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or

invalidating
her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that
I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging

how
hard and frustrating it is when you have kids
you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at

best,
things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent
inevitable.
If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I
meant.


Did a bit, but this is clearer. Thanks for being willing to add a
clarification! :-)

Dawn


I've been doing a lot of onefingered typing with my baby shawl (isn't that
what they are when they remain draped over the shoulder??)
so lately my posts have tended to be a bit shorter and more terse than
usual, leading many times to confusion. I take the blame for that.


  #17  
Old February 7th 04, 05:02 AM
Nina
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Shannon G" wrote in message
news:rGYUb.16282$EW.12409@okepread02...

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here
I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for
allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and
freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything
in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just
upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that
contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals.
But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give
him bread, so she should not give him bread.

She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes.
I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family
history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's
been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema
in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh,
wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are
in that anyway? She said she's never ever read
ingredient lists.

But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe
she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness,
he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is
never to do this again.

She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause
for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming!
It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it.

-- Anita --
Pillbug's almost 8 months!


Day care providers, nannys, MIL, care givers etc. are individuals who

take
care of our babes when we can't. They do what they know to take the best
care of our babes as they know how.

I would be irate at one someone who blatantly disrespected my wishes or
orders concerning my child. However, I could only be angry at myself if I
didn't make my wishes VERY CLEAR to the caregiver.

OK, you don't feed cereal in a bottle to a 3 week old, you don't give

uncut
grapes as finger foods....but a piece of bread to an eight month old?
Unless you specifically gave her feeding instructions you have only

yourself
to blame. JMO.

Shannon

I understand her being upset, but without specific orders not to, I dont
really know
ANYONE who would think twice about giving a baby a piece of bread. When we
have
specific non-mainstream values, ideals etc, sometimes we have to be VERY
specific, because
things we find horrible or intolerable, are simply common practice to others
and they may
cross you totally unintentionally and innocently.


  #18  
Old February 7th 04, 06:55 AM
She's A Goddess
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!


BTDT. I was infuriated. I had already said that the baby didn't get
anything that we didn't give her, but I reiterated it REALLY loudly. And it
mostly worked. The nanny still did some things that I was upset with but
overall she was far better for our DD than the lack of understanding about
those small things was bad for her.

--
Rhiannon
Mom to M. Girl (28 1/2 months) and O. Boy (7 months)


  #19  
Old February 7th 04, 04:35 PM
Sue
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent

Irrational Number wrote in message
The nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!


So at what age is it okay to offer wheat?
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...


  #20  
Old February 7th 04, 04:59 PM
Beth Kevles
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Posts: n/a
Default upset at nanny -- vent


Disclaimer: The following applies to the statistical baby. Results
with individual, actual children will vary.

Wheat is best delayed until about 10 months of age. Introducing it
earlier correlates (statistically) with an increased incidence of
rhinitis (runny nose) in the long term. In babies with a family history
of allergy, wheat may be delayed even longer. In babies with a family
history of gluten intolerance (celiac disease) , wheat should be
introduced at least three months BEFORE the cessation of breastfeeding.

The preceding recommendations are based on the results of various
searches through Medline abstracts and celiac websites.

Of course, delaying the introduction of wheat may or may not have any
noticable effect, either positive or negative, on YOUR baby. It's all
statistical ...

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.
 




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