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Keeping Toddler in bed
I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to
resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink. Matthew (2y9m) is still in a crib at home in CT, but I'm up here in NH in our lake house for the summer. It's just he and I during the week, dh comes on the weekends. He has outgrown/can climb out of the pack 'n play so he's in a "big" bed with a bedrail. The problem is that bedtime is getting very difficult. He will get out of bed up to 15 times before he will stay in. I find myself making threats and revoking privileges (favorite video, etc.) but obviously these are not working and it's not what I really want to be doing. I'm just having a block on what to do. I've kept our routine the same up here since he is very sensitive to changes in routine. Bedtime varies somewhat, but not much more than an hour. The layout of the house is a little tricky too. It's a typical lake cottage with a family room/kitchen with the bedrooms right off the living area. He can hear everything that is going on and he knows I'm right there. I try to keep my activity to a minimum until I know he's asleep, I don't want him to think anything interesting happens after he goes to bed. TV is off, radio is off. Usually I just sit and read until he finally falls asleep. I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool and I don't typically parent that way. Thanks. JennP. mom to matthew 10/11/00 |
#2
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Keeping Toddler in bed
In article , newfy.1
@juno.com says... I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink. snip I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool and I don't typically parent that way. Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally does. What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door. Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and tell him it is bedtime and goodnight. This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd week. Good luck. Jennifer |
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Keeping Toddler in bed
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#4
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Keeping Toddler in bed
whatcom wrote in message m...
In article , newfy.1 @juno.com says... I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink. snip I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool and I don't typically parent that way. Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally does. What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door. Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and tell him it is bedtime and goodnight. This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd week. Good luck. Jennifer Hi, I am a mother of a 6 year old and I had the same problem. A friend suggested the star reward method. Each night they go to bed with no fuss they get a star on the calender. After they save up a set number of stars they get to buy something, Or ask him what toy he would like to try and earn. Good luck, Tracey. |
#5
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Keeping Toddler in bed
newfy wrote:
"mountainspring" wrote in message ... Is it really a problem for him to be getting out of bed?? I know it's a hassle, but is it possible to just let him be, playing quietly or whatever in his room until he falls asleep on his own? I guess I kind of forgot a little bit of info, he's not staying in his room. He opens the door and runs out. Big smile and all. If he was staying in his room I wouldn't care at all. Have you considered using a baby gate in the bedroom doorway? Thats what we did when my DD wouldn't stay in bed. I put the gate up, and told her that she could stay anywhere in her room that she wanted. Many nights she fell asleep in her closet, under her bed, on the floor, etc. IMO, no big deal, as long as she was asleep. When I was sure that she was sleeping soundly, I'd move her into her bed for the night (and I'd often find her back on the floor in the morning). |
#6
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Keeping Toddler in bed
x-no-archive:yes
Tracey wrote: newfy wrote: "mountainspring" wrote in message ... Is it really a problem for him to be getting out of bed?? I know it's a hassle, but is it possible to just let him be, playing quietly or whatever in his room until he falls asleep on his own? I guess I kind of forgot a little bit of info, he's not staying in his room. He opens the door and runs out. Big smile and all. If he was staying in his room I wouldn't care at all. He's funning you. There are two approaches you might take. One is to leave the door open, and keep an eye on him through the door and verbally reprimand when he gets out of bed (assuming he isn't toilet trained yet). This will require vigilance for a couple of nights. The other is simply to without speaking or acknowledging him or smiling or looking pleasant put him back into bed, and then leave without any comment. Again and again until he stays there. Have you considered using a baby gate in the bedroom doorway? Thats what we did when my DD wouldn't stay in bed. I put the gate up, and told her that she could stay anywhere in her room that she wanted. Many nights she fell asleep in her closet, under her bed, on the floor, etc. IMO, no big deal, as long as she was asleep. When I was sure that she was sleeping soundly, I'd move her into her bed for the night (and I'd often find her back on the floor in the morning). grandma Rosalie |
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Keeping Toddler in bed
"Laurie" wrote in message . .. I don't know if getting another bed is an option for you, but what if you go pick out a REALLY cool toddler bed for him, like a racecar that he really likes, one that you can take home so it won't be a waste of money. I know a lot of people think toddler beds are a waste, but really they're not that expensive and if it works, it's worth it. If he really loves the bed, he may stay in it. Well, that really isn't an option up here since we share the house with my sil. I can't really go changing furniture arrangements, kwim? Thanks though. We got Jessica a tent bed, just for play, and she decided herself that she wanted to sleep in it. After deciding that it was safe for sleep, we let her; she's slept in it the past 3 nights without a peep. Of course ,it's only been a few nights, but so far so good. I'm stunned. Maybe something like that would work for you? What exactly is a tent bed? JennP. |
#8
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Keeping Toddler in bed
"whatcom" wrote in message ... Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally does. Oh, I don't doubt that for a moment. It is definitly getting out of control because up until today he was staying in bed for nap, but just now it took 45 min to keep him in his room (fingers crossed still). What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door. Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and tell him it is bedtime and goodnight. This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd week. Thanks. Anyone want to send me Tim Tams to go with that tea? I will definitly try that. I know I need to work on keeping my cool. I took the firm-but-calm voice approach just now for nap. It took a while, but I think there is a little un-doing to be done before I can expect results. Honestly, thinking about it all morning, I think that being up here on perma-vacation you tend to get a little lax with rules and consequences. Life is a little more relaxed, but a two year old can't handle the sudden change. I think that is what is happening and I think I need to tighten up a bit all around. Thanks. JennP. |
#9
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Keeping Toddler in bed
"TWilson" wrote in message om... Hi, I am a mother of a 6 year old and I had the same problem. A friend suggested the star reward method. Each night they go to bed with no fuss they get a star on the calender. After they save up a set number of stars they get to buy something, Or ask him what toy he would like to try and earn. Good luck, Tracey. You know, I thought about a reward system like that, but I really don't think he's old enough to understand an extended concept like that yet. Thanks. How old were your kids when you did it with them? JennP. |
#10
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Keeping Toddler in bed
"mountainspring" wrote in message ... Can you childproof the door so he can't get out? I'm not sure what they're called, but they are ball shaped and go over the doorknob to prevent children's small hands from being able to turn the doorknob. I have thought of that, but I'm afraid it will frighten him. I guess if I explained what and why we were doing that then maybe he wouldn't be scared when he couldn't get out. (just angry maybe?) Has anyone here taken this approach? I know exactly what you mean; each time I do this while we're on a trip, I worry that I'm going to have to do it when we return home, but for the most part that hasn't happened. You may find though that it takes significantly less than an hour (its definitely a YMMV matter) and that you may only have to do it for a week or two until he starts to feel more settled. Well, we will be going home next week for a few days so I guess I'll see how he is back in his crib. Maybe he's just not ready for a big bed yet. I wish I had the option up here but I don't. Thanks. JennP. |
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