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  #1  
Old July 19th 03, 06:32 AM
Wendy Marsden
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Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

karen wrote:
I was wondering if french kissing a 5 year old boy by his step-mother is
sexual abuse. Please help me and let me know. I'm the mother.


I'd say they are playing around. My four year old kisses me fiercely -
it's a game, not sexual foreplay. (Note - I don't use tongue, but he
sometimes licks my face when he's playing puppy-dog.)

My guess is that you want to hate the woman. Be very, very careful before
you start making accusations that will ruin a person's life. My
understanding is that mothers who accuse the fathers of sexual misconduct
with the children are MORE likely to lose custody.

Wendy
  #2  
Old July 19th 03, 01:39 PM
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

In article , "karen" says...

I was wondering if french kissing a 5 year old boy by his step-mother is
sexual abuse. Please help me and let me know. I'm the mother.



Yanno, when I was in my 20s, I knew five couples with young kids who divorced.

All five of the non-custodial parents - ALL FIVE OF THEM, ALL FIVE OF THEM! -
told others that the custodial parent and/or new partner of the custodial parent
of sexually abused the kids. I believed - - oh, about - - NONE - - of them,
knowing personally about the situations.

In the twenty years since then, I find that I know few people who got divorced
during my decades-long friendships. I think it's because I learned to detect a
certain flighty selfishness in a lot of the folks who eventually go down that
path and don't form connections with them.

I'm not saying that what you say is necessarily false. But it's so highly
unlikely that a woman would be french-kissing a 5 year old boy, and so DAMN
COMMON that ex's accuse the child's new situation of being abusive, that I just
get sick and tired of reading this stuff.

But- I'm not the one you worry about, of course, me being some stranger on
USENET. But I can assure you that any judge and any arbitor and just about
anyone involved in family court (except the the lawyers), is damn sick and tired
of it too.

So before you take any steps in this direction, look yourself in the mirror and
really think about that incident somebody told you about, or that affectionate
roughhousing that you saw from a distance - WHATEVER is was (unless you want
folks to believe that a woman went about sexual acitivity with her stepchild in
the witnessing presence of the birthmother), and tell yourself out loud to that
image in the mirror that you are certain that a stepmother tongue-kisses a five
year old boy in a sexual way. Al least start there - because evidently that
person will be the LEAST hard to convince of those you'll have to convince if
you go forward with this.

Are you DAMN SURE of this accusation??

Banty

  #3  
Old July 19th 03, 06:56 PM
karen
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , "karen" says...

I was wondering if french kissing a 5 year old boy by his step-mother is
sexual abuse. Please help me and let me know. I'm the mother.



Yanno, when I was in my 20s, I knew five couples with young kids who

divorced.

All five of the non-custodial parents - ALL FIVE OF THEM, ALL FIVE OF

THEM! -
told others that the custodial parent and/or new partner of the custodial

parent
of sexually abused the kids. I believed - - oh, about - - NONE - - of

them,
knowing personally about the situations.

In the twenty years since then, I find that I know few people who got

divorced
during my decades-long friendships. I think it's because I learned to

detect a
certain flighty selfishness in a lot of the folks who eventually go down

that
path and don't form connections with them.

I'm not saying that what you say is necessarily false. But it's so highly
unlikely that a woman would be french-kissing a 5 year old boy, and so

DAMN
COMMON that ex's accuse the child's new situation of being abusive, that I

just
get sick and tired of reading this stuff.

But- I'm not the one you worry about, of course, me being some stranger on
USENET. But I can assure you that any judge and any arbitor and just

about
anyone involved in family court (except the the lawyers), is damn sick and

tired
of it too.

So before you take any steps in this direction, look yourself in the

mirror and
really think about that incident somebody told you about, or that

affectionate
roughhousing that you saw from a distance - WHATEVER is was (unless you

want
folks to believe that a woman went about sexual acitivity with her

stepchild in
the witnessing presence of the birthmother), and tell yourself out loud to

that
image in the mirror that you are certain that a stepmother tongue-kisses

a five
year old boy in a sexual way. Al least start there - because evidently

that
person will be the LEAST hard to convince of those you'll have to convince

if
you go forward with this.

Are you DAMN SURE of this accusation??

Banty



Actually the truth is even worse. I'm was afraid of my ex and also I
wasn't sure if tongue kissing was something to worry about. The truth is my
son wanted to tongue kiss with me on several occasions and I told him no and
he said he and his step-mother did it. My daughter said it was true and
disgusted her. I thought that it was better to leave well enough alone but
now I'm wondering if I've done my duty as a parent to ignore this issue.
There are no accusations. Actually he had me investigated by a children's
lawyer and I never said anything because I was so afraid of him. I was sure
no one would believe me if I said anything. He abused me until I had a
nervous breakdown, hence the investigation. I'm sure if I say half the stuff
I could I would be told I was paranoid or lying, so I've said nothing so
far. But I want the best for my kids. I'm not as afraid of him now. I'm more
focused on what's best for them. Like I said, I'm not even sure if it is
sexual or what, but if it is, I have a duty as a parent to report it, and my
post on the net was to ask you, the people, if it is sexual.


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.497 / Virus Database: 296 - Release Date: 04/07/03



  #4  
Old July 20th 03, 04:11 AM
R. Steve Walz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

karen wrote:

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , "karen" says...

I was wondering if french kissing a 5 year old boy by his step-mother is
sexual abuse. Please help me and let me know. I'm the mother.



Yanno, when I was in my 20s, I knew five couples with young kids who

divorced.

All five of the non-custodial parents - ALL FIVE OF THEM, ALL FIVE OF

THEM! -
told others that the custodial parent and/or new partner of the custodial

parent
of sexually abused the kids. I believed - - oh, about - - NONE - - of

them,
knowing personally about the situations.

In the twenty years since then, I find that I know few people who got

divorced
during my decades-long friendships. I think it's because I learned to

detect a
certain flighty selfishness in a lot of the folks who eventually go down

that
path and don't form connections with them.

I'm not saying that what you say is necessarily false. But it's so highly
unlikely that a woman would be french-kissing a 5 year old boy, and so

DAMN
COMMON that ex's accuse the child's new situation of being abusive, that I

just
get sick and tired of reading this stuff.

But- I'm not the one you worry about, of course, me being some stranger on
USENET. But I can assure you that any judge and any arbitor and just

about
anyone involved in family court (except the the lawyers), is damn sick and

tired
of it too.

So before you take any steps in this direction, look yourself in the

mirror and
really think about that incident somebody told you about, or that

affectionate
roughhousing that you saw from a distance - WHATEVER is was (unless you

want
folks to believe that a woman went about sexual acitivity with her

stepchild in
the witnessing presence of the birthmother), and tell yourself out loud to

that
image in the mirror that you are certain that a stepmother tongue-kisses

a five
year old boy in a sexual way. Al least start there - because evidently

that
person will be the LEAST hard to convince of those you'll have to convince

if
you go forward with this.

Are you DAMN SURE of this accusation??

Banty


Actually the truth is even worse. I'm was afraid of my ex and also I
wasn't sure if tongue kissing was something to worry about. The truth is my
son wanted to tongue kiss with me on several occasions and I told him no and
he said he and his step-mother did it. My daughter said it was true and
disgusted her. I thought that it was better to leave well enough alone but
now I'm wondering if I've done my duty as a parent to ignore this issue.
There are no accusations. Actually he had me investigated by a children's
lawyer and I never said anything because I was so afraid of him. I was sure
no one would believe me if I said anything. He abused me until I had a
nervous breakdown, hence the investigation. I'm sure if I say half the stuff
I could I would be told I was paranoid or lying, so I've said nothing so
far. But I want the best for my kids. I'm not as afraid of him now. I'm more
focused on what's best for them. Like I said, I'm not even sure if it is
sexual or what, but if it is, I have a duty as a parent to report it, and my
post on the net was to ask you, the people, if it is sexual.

--------------
Oh stop it!! When people become paranoid about kissing, you need to
say they're nuts. In fact whenever people get all twisted about
something that the kids, when asked, happen to LIKE (or they wouldn't
do it) you have to come to understand that it is that SICK SICK
sexually SICK part of western culture is headed down a really sick
kind of s******ing stupid blind alley that it should JERK itself out
of by the short hairs and just let the KIDS decide what THEY like,
and otherwise leave them the **** alone!

If kids want to practice tongue kissing they STILL won't have any more
colds than off doorknobs. And it doesn't hurt them. And if they want
to fool with each other sexually, they'll simply be saner, happier and
better informed and emotionally wired up than the rest of YOU poor
abused children who were slapped and dishonored for YOUR curitosity!

Kids are the way in which Love and Fun and Faith come into the world!

If you don't trust your adult peers, at least trust kids and give
THEM what THEY want. They won't want anything evil if you've not
been evil to them, so have faith in that as a comsic principle or
else you're a lost soul! Sex isn't evil and wrong, but YOU are if
you even THINK **** like thar!!

Jeezzus **** on a stick!
Stand outside your culture and look at yourselves, for Gawd's sake!
Steve
  #5  
Old July 20th 03, 05:05 AM
R. Steve Walz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

Duncan wrote:

On 19 Jul 2003, "R. Steve Walz" wrote in
:

karen wrote:

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , "karen"
says...

I was wondering if french kissing a 5 year old boy by his
step-mother is sexual abuse. Please help me and let me know. I'm
the mother.


Yanno, when I was in my 20s, I knew five couples with young kids
who
divorced.

All five of the non-custodial parents - ALL FIVE OF THEM, ALL FIVE
OF
THEM! -
told others that the custodial parent and/or new partner of the
custodial
parent
of sexually abused the kids. I believed - - oh, about - - NONE -
- of
them,
knowing personally about the situations.

In the twenty years since then, I find that I know few people who
got
divorced
during my decades-long friendships. I think it's because I learned
to
detect a
certain flighty selfishness in a lot of the folks who eventually go
down
that
path and don't form connections with them.

I'm not saying that what you say is necessarily false. But it's so
highly unlikely that a woman would be french-kissing a 5 year old
boy, and so
DAMN
COMMON that ex's accuse the child's new situation of being abusive,
that I
just
get sick and tired of reading this stuff.

But- I'm not the one you worry about, of course, me being some
stranger on USENET. But I can assure you that any judge and any
arbitor and just
about
anyone involved in family court (except the the lawyers), is damn
sick and
tired
of it too.

So before you take any steps in this direction, look yourself in
the
mirror and
really think about that incident somebody told you about, or that
affectionate
roughhousing that you saw from a distance - WHATEVER is was (unless
you
want
folks to believe that a woman went about sexual acitivity with her
stepchild in
the witnessing presence of the birthmother), and tell yourself out
loud to
that
image in the mirror that you are certain that a stepmother
tongue-kisses
a five
year old boy in a sexual way. Al least start there - because
evidently
that
person will be the LEAST hard to convince of those you'll have to
convince
if
you go forward with this.

Are you DAMN SURE of this accusation??

Banty

Actually the truth is even worse. I'm was afraid of my ex and also
I wasn't sure if tongue kissing was something to worry about. The
truth is my son wanted to tongue kiss with me on several occasions
and I told him no and he said he and his step-mother did it. My
daughter said it was true and disgusted her. I thought that it was
better to leave well enough alone but now I'm wondering if I've done
my duty as a parent to ignore this issue. There are no accusations.
Actually he had me investigated by a children's lawyer and I never
said anything because I was so afraid of him. I was sure no one would
believe me if I said anything. He abused me until I had a nervous
breakdown, hence the investigation. I'm sure if I say half the stuff
I could I would be told I was paranoid or lying, so I've said nothing
so far. But I want the best for my kids. I'm not as afraid of him
now. I'm more focused on what's best for them. Like I said, I'm not
even sure if it is sexual or what, but if it is, I have a duty as a
parent to report it, and my post on the net was to ask you, the
people, if it is sexual.

--------------
Oh stop it!! When people become paranoid about kissing, you need to
say they're nuts. In fact whenever people get all twisted about
something that the kids, when asked, happen to LIKE (or they wouldn't
do it) you have to come to understand that it is that SICK SICK
sexually SICK part of western culture is headed down a really sick
kind of s******ing stupid blind alley that it should JERK itself out
of by the short hairs and just let the KIDS decide what THEY like,
and otherwise leave them the **** alone!

If kids want to practice tongue kissing they STILL won't have any more
colds than off doorknobs. And it doesn't hurt them. And if they want
to fool with each other sexually, they'll simply be saner, happier and
better informed and emotionally wired up than the rest of YOU poor
abused children who were slapped and dishonored for YOUR curitosity!

Kids are the way in which Love and Fun and Faith come into the world!

If you don't trust your adult peers, at least trust kids and give
THEM what THEY want. They won't want anything evil if you've not
been evil to them, so have faith in that as a comsic principle or
else you're a lost soul! Sex isn't evil and wrong, but YOU are if
you even THINK **** like thar!!

Jeezzus **** on a stick!
Stand outside your culture and look at yourselves, for Gawd's sake!
Steve


Pedo.

---------------
No, you ****head. I defend children's right to what THEY want, I have
NO delusion that what they want is ME, nor do I have a need for THEM!
Steve
  #6  
Old July 20th 03, 01:48 PM
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

In article b1pSa.102056$ye4.74972@sccrnsc01, "Dizzysmamma" says...


"Nan" wrote in message
.. .
On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 02:13:17 GMT, Duncan
wrote:

Jealous much?


troll much?

Nan

You distract him on the bridge with fluffy hugs and tim tams and I'll get
the Goat Brothers. ;o)


I always knew those DAMN TIM TAMS were only fit for trolls! ;-)

Banty

  #7  
Old July 20th 03, 03:04 PM
Dizzysmamma
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article b1pSa.102056$ye4.74972@sccrnsc01, "Dizzysmamma" says...


"Nan" wrote in message
.. .
On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 02:13:17 GMT, Duncan
wrote:

Jealous much?

troll much?

Nan

You distract him on the bridge with fluffy hugs and tim tams and I'll get
the Goat Brothers. ;o)


I always knew those DAMN TIM TAMS were only fit for trolls! ;-)

Banty

Hey they work almost 100% of the time as a troll repellant. /looks around
It may be time for you all to start throwing some around.

Angela


  #8  
Old July 20th 03, 03:14 PM
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

In article , Nan says...

On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 04:38:31 GMT, "Dizzysmamma"
wrote:


"Nan" wrote in message
. ..
On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 02:13:17 GMT, Duncan
wrote:

Jealous much?

troll much?

Nan

You distract him on the bridge with fluffy hugs and tim tams and I'll get
the Goat Brothers. ;o)

Angela


Nope, I'm not sharing my TIM TAMS with that troll and you can't make
me!!

Nan



You got the capitalization right, but forgot the qualifier..

that's DAMN TIM TAMS.

  #9  
Old July 20th 03, 05:06 PM
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

In article , Nan says...

On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 14:04:03 GMT, "Dizzysmamma"
wrote:


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article b1pSa.102056$ye4.74972@sccrnsc01, "Dizzysmamma" says...


"Nan" wrote in message
.. .
On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 02:13:17 GMT, Duncan
wrote:

Jealous much?

troll much?

Nan

You distract him on the bridge with fluffy hugs and tim tams and I'll get
the Goat Brothers. ;o)

I always knew those DAMN TIM TAMS were only fit for trolls! ;-)

Banty

Hey they work almost 100% of the time as a troll repellant. /looks around
It may be time for you all to start throwing some around.

Angela


Is OFT around???

Nan G



Are Tim Tams Kosher?

Banty

  #10  
Old July 20th 03, 05:21 PM
Dizzysmamma
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default When things go too far

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Duncan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}}



 




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