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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment



 
 
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  #41  
Old July 11th 07, 06:58 AM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Tori M[_2_]
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Posts: 79
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


Did you bring your kids?


Yes I did actually. I read them 2 books and let them check out 1 each.

Tori
  #42  
Old July 11th 07, 12:42 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
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Posts: 693
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


"Tori M" wrote in message
et...

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3



The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that
coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered
How To Behave so Your Children Will Too.

Tori



What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock.

Good luck!


  #43  
Old July 11th 07, 01:08 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
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Posts: 693
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


"0:-]" wrote in message

For some, myself and one other person really being my only data points, it
is not super easy to let the habits and thoughts born of your formative
years with your own upbringing go. You have to continually nudge a tad to
stay on track when habits of old try to reestablish themselves.


As hard as stopping smoking, nail biting? If it's that hard, we have a
tough sell. 0;]




Why? Speaking just for myself and only about Americans, we have turned into
lame ass lazy people in many regards. Are people really motivated to do
what's *easy* over whats *right?* I caaaaaaaan't whine, whine. Pet peeve of
mine.


I'd hate to think that someone that is spanking would presume that
it's TOO hard for them.

Most folks have some idea of their mental capacity, and try to stay
inside those limits. Hence, if they were using spanking, they might
assume by "hard" meaning too hard for them.



OR they might understand that not spanking, does not make positive
discipline. Lots of people misconceive that "positive" discipline is the
equivalent to a sort of happy horse**** non-discipline.


I used to presume that was an honest rebuttal by people that were
thinking as a parent and possibly willing to consider other methods.
It finally occurred to me that here, in aps, that it was just
"debaters" looking to keep the argument going.

Very shallow of them. And deserving of the whipping they often got
here.

I certainly don't
mean to attempt to get people to shy away from it as too hard. But it
requires *thought* and not simple reaction in the moment. A forward
thinking
game plan, if you will.


Eventually it does become as second nature as the impulse to spank.
Especially as the payoffs begin to show.


Indeed.


  #44  
Old July 11th 07, 02:20 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
bizby40
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Posts: 251
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


"Stephanie" wrote in message
news:4n3li.4679$lY4.2222@trndny07...

"Tori M" wrote in message
et...

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3



The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have
that coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I
also ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too.

Tori



What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock.


She meant in her library's system. She's already said she doesn't
want to spend money right now.

I live in a relatively small city, so even though my local library has
something like 7 branches, there are many books they don't have. So I
looked into inter-library loan at one point. It appears that the
library is part of a larger system of libraries, but it's still a
finite amount -- that is, they aren't hooked to every library across
the country, just those in the local region. So it's easy to believe
that there are still a good number of books that would not be
available.

Bizby


  #45  
Old July 11th 07, 02:29 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
NL
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Posts: 444
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment

0:-] schrieb:

You risk being accused of not being a parent, and so not knowing what
you are talking about.


I just wanted to quickly let you know that I'm still working on a
short(er) reply than what I have right now. I'm a single mom of 1 with
nr2 on the way, so I guess I do know what I'm talking about..
I just need to compress my thoughts a bit more because right now the
reply is a bit of a book..

cu
nicole
  #46  
Old July 11th 07, 03:03 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
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Posts: 693
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


"bizby40" wrote in message
. ..

"Stephanie" wrote in message
news:4n3li.4679$lY4.2222@trndny07...

"Tori M" wrote in message
et...

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3


The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that
coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also
ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too.

Tori



What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock.


She meant in her library's system. She's already said she doesn't want to
spend money right now.


Thats is why I was confused. Well one reason! I am terminally confused.

I live in a relatively small city, so even though my local library has
something like 7 branches, there are many books they don't have. So I
looked into inter-library loan at one point. It appears that the library
is part of a larger system of libraries, but it's still a finite amount --
that is, they aren't hooked to every library across the country, just
those in the local region. So it's easy to believe that there are still a
good number of books that would not be available.

Bizby


I hear you.



  #47  
Old July 11th 07, 03:15 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
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Posts: 693
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment


"NL" wrote in message
...
Tori M schrieb:
0:-] wrote:


If someone spanked you, would you not charge them with assault, and
could you not take them to civil court for both physical (if you
suffered any) and emotional damage and collect a large settlement?


I was spanked as a kid and I can tell you that I do not have resentment
to my mother for the spankings. I can also tell you I was a very good
child in general. I feel guilty very easy. It made me easy to correct.


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! So you're only passing along the bad judgment of your
parents! And because you feel guilty very easily it's a great way to get
you to stop things by spanking you. If you feel guilty so very easily
wouldn't it have been just as effective to tell you what you did wrong and
giving you a fair other kind of "punishment" have been just as effective?
Or would you, as a child, have preferred to be sent to your room instead
of being hit?

You probably know the saying "Revenge is a lazy form of grief". Are you
sure you're not just hitting because you were hit as a child and now
you're hitting your children because if you didn't it would mean your
parents were treating you wrong as a child and admitting that your parents
didn't parent you the best they could have, they parented the easiest way
they could have. Isn't that sad?



None of us parent the best we ever could have. Ever. We are human. We ALL
carry forward some of what we were raised with and choose a different path
for some things.

That she was spanked does not make her a monster out for bitter revenge, and
a closet freakoid. As someone who was spanked, albeit very regularly, I
think my parents did a fantastic job over all. I grieve occaisionally over
the things they mucked up that hurt me. Interestingly spanking was not among
them. We alldo the best we can with what we have.


I beleive that spanking is not the demon all by itelf. I belive that the
demon is punish/reward pavlovian "discupline" rather than investment
discipline. And the punish/reward system can be used to as much detriment
without ever laying a hand on a child.


Also: Would you put up with your husband spanking you for stuff he though
you did wrong? Why not, after all, it worked when you were a child, it
works with your children... Where's the difference? Is it just age that
protects us from being hit?

And trust me, the child often, developmentally, goes through a period
of being little legal analysts, and will figure out both the skewed
logic and legal fiction perpetrated on them...and interestingly
enough, that realization comes at about the time we start having
really serious trouble with our teens. Or even preteens. Mostly by
nine or ten they have figured out our duplicities (remember when YOU
were a kid and caught on your parents were operating in a loop of, 'do
as I say not as I do?').


We know a family that had that issue with their oldest.. before they
decided spanking was ok and you didn't have to give them a say in
everything.


Yeah, break them! The little *******s! Don't let them think for
themselves. Ever!
Bad parenting is not an excuse for hurting the child you claim to love.

cu
nicole



  #48  
Old July 11th 07, 03:52 PM posted to alt.support.child-protective-services,alt.parenting.spanking,misc.kids
Tori M[_2_]
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Posts: 79
Default What the Research Says About Physical Punishment

Stephanie wrote:
"Tori M" wrote in message
et...
http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3


The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that
coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered
How To Behave so Your Children Will Too.

Tori



What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock.

Good luck!


I can not afford a 25$ book right now. It is not on the interlibrary
website.

Tori
 




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