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How Physical Discipline Can Escalate to Child Abuse
On Jul 9, 8:55 am, "0:-]" wrote:
http://www.gvparent.com/Articles/2704abuse.html logo GVP Home * About Us * Advertising * Distribution (Where to Find Us) * Contact Us Find more parenting articles at the GVP Article Archive home guides archive calendar campfair news exchange + April 2006 By: Shannon M. Dean If lawmakers enact a new bill in California, it will be illegal to spank the very young and to use implements on minors when physically punishing them. The legislation has drawn nationwide attention on the issue of corporal punishment. No laws against spanking exist in New York, and every parent has their own rules about how to discipline their child. But if you spank your child, know the difference between punishment and abuse. Discipline vs. Abuse When a parent first taps the bottom of a child having a meltdown, it's unlikely there's any indication that this may have been the first step down a slippery slope. The incident may even be forgotten until the next time, when, now angry or frustrated, the parent hits a little harder, thinking she's right to administer what she considers the most effective way to raise a respectful, obedient child. Experts warn that regardless of a parent's intention, anger coupled with physical punishment can be a dangerous combination because it's deceptively easy to cross the line to child abuse - abuse which could have dire consequences on the child, the family, society, and can even contribute to the very behavior the parent is trying to avoid. What's Considered Abusive? The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines abuse as an act or failure to act which "results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation; [or presents] an imminent risk of serious harm." Although the definition can be vague, Executive Director Of Kids Firsts' Child Protective Team Rick Hess says that he often considers criteria such as the existence and location of injuries, the plausibility of a caregivers' explanation for the same and data gathered from evidence and interviews to determine abuse: "A small child will not have a significant head injury from falling off a 3 to 5 foot high couch," explains Hess. The problem's the word eminent. people can take a long time to kill their kid - like that genormous fat kid in the other thread Crossing the Line Child advocates warn that even good-intentioned attempts at physical discipline lose effectiveness over time. Eventually, parents have to physically punish a child longer and harder to get the same message across. so instead reward em with food. yeah that's the ticket. gotta be one or the other for hardwiring pure pleasure pirnciple vs some kind of negative pain thing Research shows that parents can be unaware of the intensity of physical punishment since it's difficult to be angry enough to administer it, yet calm enough to gauge and control its intensity. Like THAT is news. kids that really **** off even their own parents dont usually do that well on earth anyway A 2003 London study indicated that parents are likely hitting their children approximately 40 percent harder than they estimate. "Even the most mild-mannered parent is capable of hurting their child," says Nadine Block of the Center For Effective Discipline. how do they come up with a ridiculous stat like that/ you lose all credibility there how does someone estimate how hard theyre hitting the kids? what scale is that? the ohm? Sociologist Murray Strauss, the nation's foremost researcher on corporal punishment explains "two-thirds of all cases of physical abuse started out as spankings and corporal punishment and then get out of hand. The parent hits the kid, and the kid hits back. ah well - that's a sibling relationship then, it just got demoted. the parent is the one who can scare the most and hit the hardest the rest are your siblings So the parent ups the ante, the kid responds, the ante goes up again, and eventually the parents are not able to judge just what they are doing." or they judge what they're doing and do it anyway this idea that really excessive child abuse comes in a steady pulse upwards is crazy a complete mr rogers kinda parent can suddddenly go ballistic on a kid (not good not productive) but a tough guy dad can also be judicious in the use of spanking - some kids do well with the occasional belting as opposed to endless yammering lectures on crap how bout the kids vote? From his extensive experience in child services, Hess says that the thin line between discipline and abuse is crossed by parents who act in anger and/or frustration and lose control. and that's all about anger - how much of it the parents have baseline and whether they know how to act when angry the crucial words are (despite all this yammering) AND lose control. Parents who lose control will have kids who can't control themselves - none of them belong in the gene pool in the first place. He strongly encourages parents to take a break before reacting to troublesome behavior or attempting to discipline and says that a short walk to calm down is far better than harming a child in a split second decision that is later regretted. DUH. Far-Reaching Effects Each year, hundreds of thousands of children suffer abuse, abandonment, or neglect. The costs and consequences of this cycle are enormous--affecting the child, family, and society throughout the child's lifetime. Research shows abused children are more likely to have developmental delays, suffer depression, exhibit aggression toward others, drop out of school, commit crimes, use drugs, and later abuse their own spouses and children. Block says parents often say they use physical discipline because they fear if they don't, their child will one day be incarcerated. She says the opposite is true and assures that physical discipline contributes to delinquency instead of preventing it. Nearly 80% of incarcerated juvenile offenders report a history of child abuse. Ralph Welsh, a child and adolescent psychologist who has interviewed over 4,000 juvenile delinquents in more than 30 years of research explains, "I have yet to see a repeat male delinquent that wasn't raised on a belt, board, cord, or fist." Oh really? Well the same guy also admits that he's seen lots of non- delinquints raised the same way. so he needs to massage that data somemore The Abused Can Become the Abuser Experts say it's understandable that children who've been shown violence is a viable way to solve problems may eventually strike back with their own violent behavior. Research confirms that physical punishment increases the probability of children assaulting their parents in retaliation. Hess says that trying to physically discipline any child older than 11-12 years is problematic because "those kids will either shut down emotionally or lash out at someone." That may ultimately be the parents who've demonstrated violence. An Ounce of Prevention Children need strong boundaries enforced by involved parents, but the goal should be to lovingly teach good decision making rather than unwittingly encouraging deception to avoid physical punishment. Hess says that cultivating a close parent/child bond, free of anger and resentment, goes a long way toward making physical discipline less necessary. Most experts advise parents to consider using a tense situation to teach a child rather than momentarily controlling him with a force: "A child is like a fine watch," says Dr. Welsh. "Sometimes a good whack can make it work temporarily, but it has the potential to permanently damage the fine mechanism inside." Good goals and right sentiment. but many things besides whacking cause damage too and there's no research that tells the difference. insisting that you always know more than your kid is a good strong close second to screwing them up. if not in first place. Shannon Dean is a freelance writer and the mother of two sons. |
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How Physical Discipline Can Escalate to Child Abuse
When concerned about spanking, always consult with
the chicken littles and Romper Room "Miss Betty"'s of the world. (Lobbyists and suckups for the Child Protection INDUSTRY) Better yet, when concerned about SPANKING, consult with a rabid cathartic one man anti spanking lobbyist and his cronies. The the next time you wish to learn about economics, consult with a crack whore, pimp or Defense Contractor. When you wish to learn about Fiscal Responsibility consult with an Enron exec or a payday advance loan company... Maybe for Drug policy the people to be consulted are Cheech and Chong? LOL |
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How Physical Discipline Can Escalate to Child Abuse
On Jul 12, 2:15 pm, Greegor wrote:
When concerned about spanking, always consult with the chicken littles and Romper Room "Miss Betty"'s of the world. Everyone has a Constitutional right to express their opinion, Greg. (Lobbyists and suckups for the Child Protection INDUSTRY) Better yet, when concerned about SPANKING, consult with a rabid cathartic one man anti spanking lobbyist and his cronies. His opinion is as valid as anyone else's. |
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