help - need b'day ideas

In article , Anne Rogers says...



For heaven's sake, this child is *4*. Surely he can think of something
he'd like to buy. If not, take him on a trip through Target or Barnes
and Noble. He'll catch on. When my son was 4, a gift of $20 lasted a
LOOOONNNNNGGGGG time, because he was enchanted with all the little $1.99
trashy toys in the local supermarket. Sure, they didn't last long, but he
had a great time with them.

and that's precisely the problem, I'm not prepared to let him spend up more
than 10 or 20 dollars that way and we have an awful lot more than that. Just
right now I'm not even keen on letting a small amount be spent that way,
we've had quite a lot of nik naks make it into the house one way or another
in the last few weeks and we need a clear out before anything else arrives!

Some knick-knacks from Cyprus would be nice... I mean, if she had relatives
from such a wonderful far off place, wouldn't items from there be more
meaningful instead of the usual - um, stuff?

Banty (still unwilling to totally give up on my quaint idea of folks actually
buying gifts..)

On May 26, 3:30?pm, Jeff wrote:
Chris wrote:
On May 26, 4:02?am, "Anne Rogers" wrote:
help, I'm feeling brain dead, I need to get my act together and buy birthday
presents, DS is 4 on Monday and has had money sent for me to buy presents
from various relatives. I've got a bit more time for DD, who is 2 in two
weeks, but I'm particularly stuck for her, as being a 2nd child, we've got
most things already!

Cheers

Anne

Why not take them to the toy store with a digital camera and ask them
to pick out things of interest; this is how we make our Christmas
lists. lol. Probably easier for the older one than the 2-y/o, but
still might be able to put some say into it. Our 18-month-old latched
right onto a lime green stuffed bear the last time we were shopping
and since he almost panicked every time I disappeared around the isle
with it and out of his sight (he was with DH), I figured he liked it
well enough to purchase it. lol. He calls it Boo-Boo. Also, the 4 y/o
is getting to an age where they actually love to get the credit card
gift cards to do the shopping on their own.

The problem with these is that gift cards (they're not credit cards)
aren't real money. Their virtual money. I think kids are better off with
actual cash so that they see it being spent.

Kind of like adults spend less money with cash, because it is spending
real money, not dollars in an account someplace.

I know logically, they're the same, but emotionally, they're not.

Of course, if the gift is a $20 gift card, there is nothing that
prevents you from giving the kid $20 in bills and using the gift card
yourself. (Or putting $20 in an envelope, saying you have this much
money, and taking the money out as the money is spent.) That makes the
money more real to them.

Jeff- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I don't see any problems with it, neither do all the parents of the
other children that use gift cards. Seeing how responsibility of debit
cards, as well as credit cards, is also a great learning opportunity,
my children have had no issues with being informed of the limits on
the cards while shopping and asking if the combination of these #
items exceed the limit or stay within the limit. Personally speaking,
I never carry cash. I use credit cards to buy absolutely everything. I
earn points on my purchases AND I pay the cards off in full every
month. I am virtually debt-free save my mortgage, a car payment, and
utilities each month. I know what is left and I know what I can spend.
I think that if anyone literally believes that credit cards are
virtual money, the issue isn't with learning at all, it is denial of
reality.

Some knick-knacks from Cyprus would be nice... I mean, if she had
relatives
from such a wonderful far off place, wouldn't items from there be more
meaningful instead of the usual - um, stuff?

huh, have you been shopping in cyprus? seriously, the knick-knacks there are
about the worst tat in the world, they do give him stuff from far off places
from time to time, he's had a kangaroo sent from austrailia and he's got a
t-shirt from egypt. They give a lot more money than the value of such
things, and don't supplement it with a knick-knack, other relatives have
though, sent a small parcel and a small money gift. I do kind of agree with
you about the gift being preferable to money thing, but my grandparents went
to money yonks ago, they haven't lived close since I was three so it's
always been money to the parents to buy something, then direct to the child.

Anne

I don't see any problems with it, neither do all the parents of the
other children that use gift cards. Seeing how responsibility of debit
cards, as well as credit cards, is also a great learning opportunity,
my children have had no issues with being informed of the limits on
the cards while shopping and asking if the combination of these #
items exceed the limit or stay within the limit. Personally speaking,
I never carry cash. I use credit cards to buy absolutely everything. I
earn points on my purchases AND I pay the cards off in full every
month. I am virtually debt-free save my mortgage, a car payment, and
utilities each month. I know what is left and I know what I can spend.
I think that if anyone literally believes that credit cards are
virtual money, the issue isn't with learning at all, it is denial of
reality.

I don't think that Jeff was suggesting that you or anyone else couldn't
manage it, more that generally it does mean more money gets spent, whether
that is true for one given person is an unknown, but imagine the difference
if you didn't have that car payment each month, because you had saved enough
by the time you get the next car and it is possible that by switching how
you made some or all of your purchases might start enabling a little to be
put aside.

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote in
:

I don't see any problems with it, neither do all the
parents of the other children that use gift cards. Seeing
how responsibility of debit cards, as well as credit
cards, is also a great learning opportunity, my children
have had no issues with being informed of the limits on
the cards while shopping and asking if the combination of
these # items exceed the limit or stay within the limit.
Personally speaking, I never carry cash. I use credit
cards to buy absolutely everything. I earn points on my
purchases AND I pay the cards off in full every month. I
am virtually debt-free save my mortgage, a car payment,
and utilities each month. I know what is left and I know
what I can spend. I think that if anyone literally
believes that credit cards are virtual money, the issue
isn't with learning at all, it is denial of reality.

I don't think that Jeff was suggesting that you or anyone
else couldn't manage it, more that generally it does mean
more money gets spent, whether that is true for one given
person is an unknown, but imagine the difference if you
didn't have that car payment each month, because you had
saved enough by the time you get the next car and it is
possible that by switching how you made some or all of your
purchases might start enabling a little to be put aside.

the simple answer would be to only carry a set credit limit
on your cards. i have 2 cards i use (i am allergic to US bills
so i avoid carrying money if at all possible. just having
bills in my pocket makes it hard for me to breathe). one has a
$500 limit & one has a $1000 limit. i pay them both every
other week or so (obviously, i don't get to the limits).
neither has any fees either.
while most card companies will want to raise your limit if
you pay in a timely manner, you *don't* have to accept the
offer. if you're afraid you'd be tempted, then get yourself a
secured card. they won't raise the limit over what is in the
account securing the card (this also gives you a savings
account, which you can pay into without affecting the credit
limit. you just can't withdraw below your credit limit without
closing the credit card)
i just bought my new Pilot with cash (no discount for cash
though. that sucks). i did buy my tractor on time payments,
but that'll be paid off in July, & i could add that payment
into the savings too, but more likely it'll get diverted to
the Old House restoration funding
i have a 10 year ARM mortgage, because i don't expect to
still be living here in 10 years (well, 8.5 years now).
shrug otherwise, i think adjustable mortgages are just
begging for trouble.
lee

the simple answer would be to only carry a set credit limit
on your cards.

I don't think that's very practical, one of the useful things about credit
cards is the ability to pay for something in an emergency that you don't
necessarily have the money for just at that moment. We once had to pay a
hospital bill whilst abroad that would be met by insurance, but couldn't be
paid directly, if you're going to do that, you either need a 2nd credit card
that you keep in a safe place, or allow the limits to build up and just not
spend them.

Cheers

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote in
:

the simple answer would be to only carry a set credit
limit on your cards.

I don't think that's very practical, one of the useful
things about credit cards is the ability to pay for
something in an emergency that you don't necessarily have
the money for just at that moment. We once had to pay a
hospital bill whilst abroad that would be met by insurance,
but couldn't be paid directly, if you're going to do that,
you either need a 2nd credit card that you keep in a safe
place, or allow the limits to build up and just not spend
them.

i do have 2 cards with 5k limits. they are hidden
lee

Hi --

When my kids got to be about 5 or 6, I'd take the money they'd been sent
and we'd walk over to the local bookstore. The kids LOVE picking out
their own gifts!

For the 2yo I'd probably just pick out a nice summer outfit if I didn't
see a book I wanted to read over and over again. After all, a girl's
got to have a wardrobe :-) (Seriously, it was at about age 2 1/2 that
half the girls in my son's nursery school class started caring about
what they wore.)

I hope these thoughts help,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Anne Rogers wrote:
help, I'm feeling brain dead, I need to get my act together and buy birthday
presents, DS is 4 on Monday and has had money sent for me to buy presents
from various relatives. I've got a bit more time for DD, who is 2 in two
weeks, but I'm particularly stuck for her, as being a 2nd child, we've got
most things already!

Cheers

Anne





Anne, I understand your situation about distant relatives and gift
money. I'm from the east coast and my husband is from the west coast; we
used to live on the west coast and now live on the east coast, so there
has always been similar issues of gifts for the kids.

My mother in law is starting to chafe at the shipping costs, and has
recently been sending a few small items of her choice and sending a
check for me to buy the kids something bigger, for which I usually give
her a short list of ideas and she'll send the money for something from
that list. My mother used to do the same thing when we were on the west
coast. My oldest just had his b-day, for which we got him a new bike,
and my mom wanted to get him some bike accessories and helmet. She's
near us but she hasn't been well recently, so she told me how much to
spend and I picked up the items when I went in to pick up the bike and
she reimbursed me when they came over for the gift giving and cake.

I don't really understand everyone else's griping about you being given
money to get something and people being too lazy to pick out gifts
themselves. There can be a lot of circumstances that make it the best
solution, and frankly, I prefer it in many ways.

A couple ideas for future cash gifts:

My husband's aunt sends a check for the same amount each xmas, and it's
just the right amount to by them each a year's subscription to a
magazine from this publisher:
http://www.cricketmag.com/home.asp
Carus Publishing. Their magazines are very good quality, and they are
graduated by age groups. There are some which are more science and
nature oriented, and some which are more literary. My kids love them and
read them again and again.

I've recently had some money left over from that sent for xmas and
birthdays, and after adding it all up I realized it was enough to cover
memberships to the local zoo, science museum, and children's museum,
which sets us up very nicely for a full schedule of summer activities. I
know the relatives will be very pleased to see the extra money used in
this manner. With most of these places, and the magazine idea, you can
subscribe online, saving you running around to the shops. Relatives
could even call or get online and set up a gift membership and renew it
yearly.

Karen

In article k.net, dkhedmo
says...

Anne Rogers wrote:
help, I'm feeling brain dead, I need to get my act together and buy birthday
presents, DS is 4 on Monday and has had money sent for me to buy presents
from various relatives. I've got a bit more time for DD, who is 2 in two
weeks, but I'm particularly stuck for her, as being a 2nd child, we've got
most things already!

Cheers

Anne





Anne, I understand your situation about distant relatives and gift
money. I'm from the east coast and my husband is from the west coast; we
used to live on the west coast and now live on the east coast, so there
has always been similar issues of gifts for the kids.

My mother in law is starting to chafe at the shipping costs, and has
recently been sending a few small items of her choice and sending a
check for me to buy the kids something bigger, for which I usually give
her a short list of ideas and she'll send the money for something from
that list. My mother used to do the same thing when we were on the west
coast. My oldest just had his b-day, for which we got him a new bike,
and my mom wanted to get him some bike accessories and helmet. She's
near us but she hasn't been well recently, so she told me how much to
spend and I picked up the items when I went in to pick up the bike and
she reimbursed me when they came over for the gift giving and cake.

I don't really understand everyone else's griping about you being given
money to get something and people being too lazy to pick out gifts
themselves. There can be a lot of circumstances that make it the best
solution, and frankly, I prefer it in many ways.

Well, it wasn't "everyone", it was mostly me ;-)

Really, I don't have anything against mutual arrangements of this kind. There
really *are* good reasons why a family may do this kind of arrangement with
certain individuals in the family.

It's just that it has to be understood that it really is transferring a task
that rightly belongs to the gift giver, over to someone else. In my mind it's a
significant time-consumer and hassle-generator, especially when it's not
initiated by oneself. Because it *does* take time, thought, and consideration
to give a gift - that's a part of the reason why gratitude is in order. And it
has to be truly a mutual arrangement.

The problem comes when it gets to be expected, and people lose sight of what the
situation is. And I think that's happened in some circles. (Probably not in
Ann's though.)

Cheers,
Banty