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#11
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jake Mysterio wrote:
I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds, and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the author BF, but I could be wrong. Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from a young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital (3days) And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because one child needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt mean that many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on NEEDS they probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT many more. Cheri Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month, then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story. Jo |
#12
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jake Mysterio wrote:
Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months will cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that little time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to hear her cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go to sleep if I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms working for my baby. Cheri Only in the car when I couldn't pull over. Admittedly, it *was* only 5 min before he slept. I couldn't imagine doing it on purpose though... Jo |
#13
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jamie Clark wrote:
What exactly are you considering doing... not using a pacifier or swaddling any more? Your Will is still a tiny baby, and I think you need to follow your gut. Wrap him tight, nurse, rock, pacify, etc, and if he wakes in the night, it's likely that it's because he's hungry, so feed him. Hugs my friend. It's only going to get easier and easier. 6 months is so much easier than 4, I promise! Jamie, I don't even know what I am considering doing! I just know I need more than 15 minutes sleep every 45 min overnight... and I know that often all he needs is dummy back in and re-wrapping. If he wakes again not long after, he gets fed (whether he's properly awake or not - he usually cries in his semi-sleep). If he wakes awake, he gets fed. I wouldn't mind if he actually needed feeding that often overnight - I'd at least know his waking was for a purpose, but just for the dummy seems silly to me, to keep it up. Co-sleeping doesn't work - he can comfort suck now, but it's constant - like all night on and off. I can't sleep at *all* then. Jo |
#14
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
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#15
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jenrose wrote:
some stuff, then... If they're going to cry somewhere, in arms is better than not. I think the idea that you're "putting off inevitable crying" with a pacifier or extended nursing is silly--it may be true for some kids, but never was for mine. I didn't know if it was silly or just that I had never heard of it before. |
#16
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jo wrote:
Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? Does Will cry a lot at night? Or does he just wake a lot? What exactly is he doing? Maybe there are babies for whom that works, but I can't say that my babies ever behaved as that article suggests they would, so I'm a bit skeptical. Best wishes, Ericka |
#17
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jo wrote:
Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month, then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story. When something like that happens, I wonder about a growth spurt and/or other developmental changes. He may be getting to the age where he *can* keep himself awake, and so he is. In my experience, at that point you have to give them the picture that the interesting world isn't going to come back if they fuss. So, I'd go back in and pat or cuddle or whatever, but no lights, no talking, no stimulation, no fun. I'd put them back down as soon as they settled a bit. Sometimes I'd have to repeat a *lot* before they went back to sleep, but this was usually a rare thing, so a night or two wasn't a killer in terms of the big picture. Best wishes, Ericka |
#18
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jo wrote:
Jake Mysterio wrote: Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months will cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that little time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to hear her cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go to sleep if I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms working for my baby. Only in the car when I couldn't pull over. Admittedly, it *was* only 5 min before he slept. I couldn't imagine doing it on purpose though... I wouldn't worry about a few minutes of crying. My kids definitely had a different "blowing off steam" cry than a hungry cry or a frightened cry or whatever. All you get if you try to soothe them through a "blowing off steam" cry is a whole lot of work for you and less sleep for them. It's one thing to ignore your baby when he needs you, but why would you assume that all crying is a terrible thing and Must Be Stopped Now? Are you not allowed to have emotions other than happy and content on occasion? Babies don't have lots of ways to express themselves, and some will cry sometime to blow off some steam. If they do that, it's because they need to and it will help them to do so, just like sometimes you feel a lot better after a good cry. If you interfere with that process, you just make everything *more* difficult for everyone. I don't have any problem with a baby crying for a few minutes to blow off some steam or express dissatisfaction with being put down. What I object to is allowing babies to cry for long periods of time without comfort or allowing a baby to move into a different cry without addressing that need. Think of it this way: when a toddler throws a tantrum, they're blowing off steam too. They're mad as hell and they're letting it all out. Usually, you're best off just letting them blow it off rather than trying to cajole them out of it (while keeping a watchful eye, of course). BUT, some will move from being angry to being scared or really upset. If that happens, they need someone to come and help them through. Intervening earlier prolongs the tantrum. Intervening when necessary helps things out. Go to your baby when it's going to help, but let them blow off steam when that's going to fix things. If you feel better letting them do that in your arms, go ahead. I'm not so convinced that that will be helpful. Out of three babies, *none* of mine have ever cried for an extended period of time in my arms as described by the article (none of my babes were colicky), but they have blown off steam at bedtime on occasion. I'd say at 4-5 months, they'd fuss when I put them down about a quarter of the time, and that gradually decreased over time. Even now with my 2.25 year old, on occasion (maybe once a week or so) she'll fuss at bedtime or naptime, but it doesn't even last a minute. If I stay with her, the fussing lasts much longer, and much the same happened if I stuck around when they were babies. Best wishes, Ericka Best wishes, Ericka Best wishes, Ericka |
#19
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Jo wrote: Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month, then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story. When something like that happens, I wonder about a growth spurt and/or other developmental changes. I thought a growth spurt in the beginning, but it's been 3 weeks now, and sleep patterns have not returned to his previous normal. I thought of other developmental things, too... like trying to roll, etc... but when he does wake, he's not *doing* anything but semi-crying with eyes closed and mouth open waiting for the dummy! He may be getting to the age where he *can* keep himself awake, and so he is. In my experience, at that point you have to give them the picture that the interesting world isn't going to come back if they fuss. So, I'd go back in and pat or cuddle or whatever, but no lights, no talking, no stimulation, no fun. I'd put them back down as soon as they settled a bit. Sometimes I'd have to repeat a *lot* before they went back to sleep, but this was usually a rare thing, so a night or two wasn't a killer in terms of the big picture. Yup, all I do when I go to him to resettle is put the dummy back in, or if his arms are unwrapped, rewrap him, put my hand on his chest and say 'back to sleep' in a low voice, and leave again. Thanks for your thoughts, Ericka Jo |
#20
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Jo wrote:
Jamie, I don't even know what I am considering doing! I just know I need more than 15 minutes sleep every 45 min overnight... and I know that often all he needs is dummy back in and re-wrapping. If he wakes again not long after, he gets fed (whether he's properly awake or not - he usually cries in his semi-sleep). If he wakes awake, he gets fed. I wouldn't mind if he actually needed feeding that often overnight - I'd at least know his waking was for a purpose, but just for the dummy seems silly to me, to keep it up. Co-sleeping doesn't work - he can comfort suck now, but it's constant - like all night on and off. I can't sleep at *all* then. This is the roughest period with a pacifier, because they pretty much have no ability to get it back in but they want that sucking. He may just be a really, really sucky baby. If he's waking and really wants to suck, replacing that pacifier *is* meeting a need--a need just as valid to him as eating. His need to suck will diminish a bit, and that'll help a lot. Can you take turns with getting up to rewrap and replace the pacifier? When we went through rough spots, I'd kick DH to handle those nighttime calls and only go myself when feeding was necessary. Sometimes we'd stake out which parts of the night we'd handle so that each of us could get *some* relatively uninterrupted sleep. Best wishes, Ericka |
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