Second birth easier?

LeAnn wrote in message ...
Hi, my name is LeAnn. I have a 7 year old son and I am 7 months
pregnant with my second son. Maybe I just can't tolerate much pain but
I remember labor with my first son to be just horrible. I remember
screaming at everyone to give me some drugs! ;-) Labor and delivery
lasted about 16 hours from start to finish. My current doctor keeps
telling me that since this is my second child, labor will be much easier
and faster. For those of you who have given birth to two or more
children, how much truth is in this?

Well, I've only had one child, and it was an easy labor (8 hours start
to finish - and my midwife told me that she thought I'd have fast
labors if I ever had more). But my mother had three kids, and her
labors went like this:

#1: (me) 7 hours
#2: 1.5 hours (she never even pushed - her uterus pushed him out
without her having to push - it helped that he was only 5 lbs 14 oz at
birth)
#3: 8 hours - longer yes, but still an easy birth.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

Puester wrote:
2. You won't use language the OB staff hasn't heard many times.

(Why do all humans always think if THEY haven't
seen/done/experienced something personally that
it hasn't happened in the history of the earth?)

Heh heh, I'm not coming at this as though I'm breaking new ground. I
just don't like to be excessively rude. A little bit of rudeness is OK
at times, but not too much. ;-) I especially feel sorry for those who
don't deserve to be on the receiving end of it.

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:


Warm fuzzies? This thread scares the crap outta me!!! ;-) I intend to
go drug-free, so I'm really SCARED. Every time I read the honest truth
about a fairly average labour (especially for a first one), I think to
myself, "OK, as long as I lose my mind temporarily while it's happening,
and then regain it afterwards, I probably won't remember the pain, and
all will be well." I've already warned DH that we might have to bring
some special equipment in just in case I decide to become violent, or
something. (so, a nice punching bag, or something I can squeeze) I'm
also going to have to apologize to everyone in advance for the choice
language that I will use. Maybe I should just learn certain choice
words from a different language, so that no one will understand me.


Relax. I won't say labor is easy, but my first labor
was 45 hours long and certainly not a picnic, but I was
just *fine*--no drugs, no bad language, no amnesia, or
anything ;-) DH even got out with all of his appendages
intact ;-) And just look at how many of us went back
and did it again!

Best wishes,
Ericka

Mary wrote:


Warm fuzzies? This thread scares the crap outta me!!! ;-) I intend
to go drug-free, so I'm really SCARED. Every time I read the honest
truth about a fairly average labour (especially for a first one), I
think to myself, "OK, as long as I lose my mind temporarily while it's
happening, and then regain it afterwards, I probably won't remember
the pain, and all will be well."


You can do it. It may be easy, it may be hard. Barring complications,

Actually, I'm quite confident that I can do it. Still scares me, though.

Will you have a doula with you? They are very helpful.

As for things like this, I haven't really planned anything out yet.
It's still so far away. I'll probably worry more about it when I'm well
into the second trimester. (although I've heard that around here, at
least, if you want to take classes, you have to sign up for them as
early as possible, so I'll have to check into that soon)

I'm thinking of checking into midwives. I know that there are
definitely some around here. Not that I don't trust doctors - it's just
that it seems like midwives know how to help the mothers and babies,
while doctors mostly focus on the things that can go wrong. Honestly, I
think that they would make a great team.


Also, remember that normal labor doesn't hurt like an injury. Injury
pain is your body screaming out that something is going wrong. Labor is
your body working the way it's designed to work. It's like the pain of
running a marathon, not the pain of breaking your leg. Relax into it,

Yes, relaxing into it is one thing I've been planning on, but there is
one thing that worries me. That is, I worry that maybe the doctor on
call (or whatever) will try to rush things. I've already asked a friend
of mine what her experiences were at the local hospital, because I
wanted to make sure that they don't induce if things are taking longer
than a half an hour, if you know what I mean. I want to take my time.
She relieved me very much by saying that they seem to be willing to
accomodate anything that the woman wants. I do know that they did
induce her with her second, though, so I still worry a bit. One thing I
think I'm going to need to learn is how to tell when it's really time to
go to the hospital, so that I don't end up in there with them wanting to
induce me. I'll push it to the last minute, basically. We don't live
very far from the hospital, so I can get away with doing this. That
way, I can relax at home for as long as possible. (I won't do a home
birth, though, if I can avoid it) This reminds me, though, of that
other thread where people have been talking about waters breaking before
labour. Gee, what would I do then? I would have to go right away,
wouldn't I, for fear of infection? Also, at that point, I would
probably be induced if things didn't progress quickly enough. (well, at
that point, I think I would rather be induced if I have to in order to
avoid infection)

Thank you for the advice, support, and the mentioning of some books.
I'll check into them. I already have a whole library of baby and
pregnancy books, but I'll admit that I'm short on stuff about delivery.
I always figured that I would save that for later, so as not to scare
myself off. ;-)

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:


I'm thinking of checking into midwives. I know that there are
definitely some around here. Not that I don't trust doctors - it's just
that it seems like midwives know how to help the mothers and babies,
while doctors mostly focus on the things that can go wrong.


That's usually about right, not because OBs are bad
somehow, but they're *specialists*. They're trained to deal
with what goes wrong. Midwives are trained more in what to
do when things are going right. There's a wide variety in
midwives, though. Some work very much within the medical
model, and others work very much within the midwifery model.
Those who work within the midwifery model do tend to focus
more on woman-centered birth and to know a lot more about
how to help women give birth more comfortably.


This reminds me, though, of that
other thread where people have been talking about waters breaking before
labour. Gee, what would I do then? I would have to go right away,
wouldn't I, for fear of infection?


Nah. Most practitioners just want the baby born within
24 hours of when the membranes rupture. And really, if you're
caution (e.g., don't allow vaginal exams, etc.) some practitioners
will be comfortable going even longer. There are a lot of
doctors, however, who will wig out and want you in right away.
They're likely to be the more interventionist sort, though.

Also, at that point, I would
probably be induced if things didn't progress quickly enough. (well, at
that point, I think I would rather be induced if I have to in order to
avoid infection)


You're mixing terminology a little bit. "Induction" means
starting labor when it hasn't started yet. When you try to hurry
labor along or make it stronger, that's called "augmentation."
If your membranes rupture and labor doesn't start soon enough,
they'll induce (with the definiton of "soon enough" varying
from caregiver to caregiver). If your labor starts but doesn't
move fast enough, they might augment your labor (with the
definition of "fast enough" also varying from cargiver to
caregiver). If any of these issues become relevant to your
situation, I'd recommend checking them out carefully before
agreeing to interventions. Many caregivers are much more
conservative than they need to be in these situations. Also,
there are things you can do that reduce the likelihood of
infection, like avoiding internal exams.


Best wishes,

Ericka

I'm thinking of checking into midwives. I know that there are
definitely some around here. Not that I don't trust doctors - it's just
that it seems like midwives know how to help the mothers and babies

I think you would really like a midwife practice. Is there a
freestanding birth center near you? The advantage to being in the care
of a midwife, and the advantage of either being in a birth center or
being in a hospital with a doula, is that you are surrounded by an
environment that fully endorses natural birth. You are surrounded by
people who know *how* to support women laboring without drugs. OBs are
great, but if they only see a few women out of thousands who decide
against an epidural, they just have no clue how to help you deal with
labor; they may agree with your choice, they may even hope you do it,
but they won't have the hands-on experience needed to help you through it.

Yes, relaxing into it is one thing I've been planning on, but there is
one thing that worries me. That is, I worry that maybe the doctor on
call (or whatever) will try to rush things. I've already asked a friend
of mine what her experiences were at the local hospital, because I
wanted to make sure that they don't induce if things are taking longer
than a half an hour, if you know what I mean.

I know exactly what you mean. Vetting out your hospital or birth
center, and choosing a care provider *very* carefully, are the most
helpful ways of avoiding being pushed into things. Asking questions
when you're interviewing OBs and midwives -- not just questions they'll
all say yes to, like, "Don't you think avoiding unnecessary
interventions is a good thing?" but questions like, "What percentage of
your patients receive pitocin during labor," or, "How overdue do you let
your patients go before inducing," or, "What percentage of your patients
end up with episiotomies, and what percentage tear, and what steps do
you take to prevent tearing?" That sort of thing.

so I can get away with doing this. That
way, I can relax at home for as long as possible.

Definitely stay home as long as possible. We were a 45 minute drive
away, and my midwife told us (a first birth) not to get in the car until
the contractions were 3 minutes apart and longer than 60 seconds each.
It was good advice for us.

This reminds me, though, of that
other thread where people have been talking about waters breaking before
labour. Gee, what would I do then? I would have to go right away,
wouldn't I, for fear of infection?

They want to see you deliver within 24 hours, so you have a little while
to take walks, etc., and see if labor will start on its own. That's
something to ask potential OBs/midwives, too, how they would handle ROM
without contractions.

Another book you might like is called "Maternal Fitness," because it has
a bunch of exercises to prepare for labor. The Carl Jones book is nice
because is really focuses on labor and delivery, which I found most
pregancy books just gave a token chapter to but didn't really cover in
depth, especially for natural births. I didn't read the Bradley book,
just skimmed it, but it has helped a lot of people, too.

Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 22 months

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:
Mary wrote:
Warm fuzzies? This thread scares the crap outta me!!! ;-) I intend
to go drug-free, so I'm really SCARED. Every time I read the honest
truth about a fairly average labour (especially for a first one), I
think to myself, "OK, as long as I lose my mind temporarily while it's
happening, and then regain it afterwards, I probably won't remember
the pain, and all will be well."

You can do it. It may be easy, it may be hard. Barring complications,

Actually, I'm quite confident that I can do it. Still scares me, though.

Sure. I used to ride century bike rides -- 100 miles in a day. In
the early morning hours before the start I would always be daunted
thinking, ugh, this will be hard, my legs will hurt and I'll get
tired. But the scenery was always beautiful and somehow I made it up
(and over!) all the hills. I look at labor like that too. I want to
be prepared but with the centuries I generally didn't know the course
at all and just had to hope the climbs were not too steep! And you
know, I always could manage them.

Will you have a doula with you? They are very helpful.

As for things like this, I haven't really planned anything out yet.
It's still so far away. I'll probably worry more about it when I'm well
into the second trimester. (although I've heard that around here, at
least, if you want to take classes, you have to sign up for them as
early as possible, so I'll have to check into that soon)

Second trimester is a good time. I just had a meeting with my doula
and I'm so much calmer knowing I'll have an extra person to help run
interference with the nurses (stopping them before they go on about
epidurals or if they don't quite get the intermittant part of
intermittant monitoring like last time, etc) and give me lots of
verbal support. Plus she has a birth ball and I just love bouncing on
that thing even now!

I'm thinking of checking into midwives. I know that there are
definitely some around here. Not that I don't trust doctors - it's just
that it seems like midwives know how to help the mothers and babies,
while doctors mostly focus on the things that can go wrong. Honestly, I
think that they would make a great team.

I agree. OB's are great if there is a problem, and when there aren't
problems they are more likely to *cause* them than midwives are!

Also, remember that normal labor doesn't hurt like an injury. Injury
pain is your body screaming out that something is going wrong. Labor is
your body working the way it's designed to work. It's like the pain of
running a marathon, not the pain of breaking your leg. Relax into it,

Yes, relaxing into it is one thing I've been planning on, but there is
one thing that worries me. That is, I worry that maybe the doctor on
call (or whatever) will try to rush things. I've already asked a friend
of mine what her experiences were at the local hospital, because I
wanted to make sure that they don't induce if things are taking longer
than a half an hour, if you know what I mean. I want to take my time.

This is where a doula is good, because you will not be as coherent as
you want to be, and she can ask all the questions like, 'well, what
would *happen* if we waited another hour' and 'the baby isn't in
distress -- is pitocin augmention really *needed* -- what else could
we do' and so on. Also, a doula can help you labor at home a little
longer. The hospital clock starts when you arrive, so arriving at 4cm
and not quite active labor isn't as good as arriving at 5cm with labor
moving along well.

She relieved me very much by saying that they seem to be willing to
accomodate anything that the woman wants. I do know that they did
induce her with her second, though, so I still worry a bit. One thing I
think I'm going to need to learn is how to tell when it's really time to
go to the hospital, so that I don't end up in there with them wanting to
induce me. I'll push it to the last minute, basically. We don't live
very far from the hospital, so I can get away with doing this. That
way, I can relax at home for as long as possible. (I won't do a home
birth, though, if I can avoid it) This reminds me, though, of that
other thread where people have been talking about waters breaking before
labour. Gee, what would I do then? I would have to go right away,
wouldn't I, for fear of infection? Also, at that point, I would
probably be induced if things didn't progress quickly enough. (well, at
that point, I think I would rather be induced if I have to in order to
avoid infection)

Looks like you are thinking along the same lines! My water broke 27
hours before labor started with my first. Can you tell I had a
midwife? LOL. She sent me home with oral antibiotics, I checked my
temperature for fever often and on the way home from the 24 hours non
stress test I started having contractions. Phew.

The midwife mentioned a study done at UCSF about outcomes of PROM
managed with antibiotics, I'll see if I can find it.

Thank you for the advice, support, and the mentioning of some books.
I'll check into them. I already have a whole library of baby and
pregnancy books, but I'll admit that I'm short on stuff about delivery.
I always figured that I would save that for later, so as not to scare
myself off. ;-)

Since this is my second, I went straight to reading about delivery! I
knew about how pregnancy went and development and all that. Delivery
is usually the hard part and it has been over 5 years...

Carolyn



--
Carolyn Fairman (to email me, terra is earth...)
Mom to Julian, born Sept. 28, 1998
ds #2 due mid Feb 2004!

That's funny you'd say you'd have to apologize to everyone for your
language because I became a totally different person during labor.
Normally I am shy and not very outspoken. But during labor my sister
said she could hear my screams and cussing all the way down the hall! LOL

LeAnn

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:
Mary wrote:

LeAnn, thank you for this thread! It gives me warm fuzzies to read.
I love you all for having easier second births, too.

Mary S. (had a doozy of a first labor)
mom to the stubborn-and-posterior Sproutkin, 22 months


Warm fuzzies? This thread scares the crap outta me!!! ;-) I intend to
go drug-free, so I'm really SCARED. Every time I read the honest truth
about a fairly average labour (especially for a first one), I think to
myself, "OK, as long as I lose my mind temporarily while it's happening,
and then regain it afterwards, I probably won't remember the pain, and
all will be well." I've already warned DH that we might have to bring
some special equipment in just in case I decide to become violent, or
something. (so, a nice punching bag, or something I can squeeze) I'm
also going to have to apologize to everyone in advance for the choice
language that I will use. Maybe I should just learn certain choice
words from a different language, so that no one will understand me.

I don't remember it feeling like running a marathon, I remember it
feeling like I was going to die! I'm sorry to be so harsh but it's the
truth. I think the difference in this pregnancy is that it was planned.
My first wasn't planned and I was only 19 so I was very scared.
Although that all changed once I saw my son's face. But I think labor
this time might be different just because I know the reward now and I'll
know that it's all worth it.

LeAnn

Mary wrote:




Also, remember that normal labor doesn't hurt like an injury. Injury
pain is your body screaming out that something is going wrong. Labor is
your body working the way it's designed to work. It's like the pain of
running a marathon, not the pain of breaking your leg. Relax into it,
concentrate concentrate concentrate; it's your body opening up just like
it's supposed to. Have you read the book "Mind Over Labor," by Carl
Jones? It has some really good visual/mental concepts to use during
labor. Bradley method is also supposed to be good.

also going to have to apologize to everyone in advance for the choice
language that I will use. Maybe I should just learn certain choice
words from a different language, so that no one will understand me.


Don't even give that stuff a second thought. No inhibitions allowed!
The only thing important during birth is the safety and comfort of YOU
and your baby. It is not your responsibility to take care of the staff,
it's their job to accomodate your labor in whatever way is working best
for you -- and whatever ends up working for you, whether it's submerging
yourself in the tub, or having the nurse support you as you push
standing up, or swearing like a sailor during the contractions, is what
they are there for.

Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 22 months

Ericka, thanks for your pointers. I'll have to check more deeply into
things in time. BTW, I think the midwives around here are more in the
medical model - they (AFAIK, anyway) are all registered nurses with
extra training in midwifery. Beats me what they are like elsewhere, so
I don't know if this is normal or not.