Kid is fussy

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
k.net...

"Stevie" wrote in message
ups.com...
You don't need to "pump the kids for information" when they are in the
habit of blurting things out. My 13 year old tells me all the time that
his dad has not changed with the new CL wife from what he was like when
we split 6 years ago. He vents because his stepmom is lazy compared to
me and his dad makes him clean the second bathroom (powder room) and do
his own laundry. Then he goes on to say that his dad STILL doesn't
help out around the house (which was a major complaint of mine). I
don't NEED to pump for info, I get it whether I like it or not!

The problem of using children to report in on their other parent is well
illustrated above. At 13 this child is most likely "programmed" to
deliver
a full report after each contact with his father.

Note all of the child's comments, as related by the mother, are in the
context of discussing his father in terms of his relationship and habits
with his new wife and comparing it to the former relationship and habits
with his mother. The child's comments are calculated to please his mother
and do not relate to the father/child relationship.

The mother could refocus these reports by relating them back to the
father/child relationship. Saying things like: Your father is teaching
you
responsibility by asking you to clean the bathroom and do your laundry.
It's your dad's house and the rules in his house may be different than in
this house, but you need to follow the rules set by your parents. Your
dad
and his new wife are adults and the important thing is they work together
to
take care of you while you visit them.

Kids are notorious for telling the other parent what they beleive that
parent wants to hear.