CIO

This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held. At four months, she told me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him. The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue. Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler having
a tantrum. The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for
hours on end? I just don't get it.

toypup wrote:

snip sad story


When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor
thing." She said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and
listen to him cry!" Honestly, I believe when something works, it
works pretty quickly. By the time she sees her method working, the
child will be an adult. Well, not that bad, but I'm saying he would
not be clingy anyway because of his age and not her method. Babies
are only babies for so long, why try so hard to force them to grow
up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for hours on
end? I just don't get it.

Nor I.

I can understand tired parents leaving a child that has been unsettled for
some time to cry while they go outside to take several breaths and calm
themselves but it's beyond me how anyone could listen to their child scream
in lonely distress for an hour without picking him up and comforting him.
Poor baby.

Tai

"toypup" wrote in message
. net...
This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people
who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held. At four months, she told
me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him.
The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and
got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue.

When children hold their breath deliberately they pass out and their
reflexes quickly resume breathing. A child could not hold it's breath and
continue to hold it after it has passed out. There is something else going
on here.



Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler
having
a tantrum. The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him
he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing."
She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard
to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room
for
hours on end? I just don't get it.



I believe in using controlled crying to teach my child to go to sleep. But
this is a whole other kettle of fish. We go in often while the baby is
crying for a safety check and to reassure the baby. The few times I have
done it, it has worked within days and never more than three bouts of ten
minutes crying.

I wouldn't consider allowing a baby to cry indefinitely. This sort of story
annoys me because it makes it look like anyone who chooses to use this
method is heartless. When we are far from it.

Judy

toypup wrote:

This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held.
-------------
Complete Lie.


At four months, she told me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him. The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue. Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler having
a tantrum.
-------------
Grandma's an insensitive asshole. Lots of older people were abused
so much worse than people now that they are criminal emotionally.


The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.
--------------------
She's a ****ing sicko, they should get the child away from her.


When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for
hours on end? I just don't get it.
----------------------
You are right, and she is a ****ing criminal. Children who are abused
grow up to abuse their children, and they are all criminals, generation
after generation of them.
Steve

Kereru wrote:

"toypup" wrote in message
. net...
This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people
who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held. At four months, she told
me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him.
The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and
got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue.

When children hold their breath deliberately they pass out and their
reflexes quickly resume breathing. A child could not hold it's breath and
continue to hold it after it has passed out. There is something else going
on here.
------------------
Yes, they then vomit and aspirate and die.


Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler
having
a tantrum. The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him
he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing."
She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard
to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room
for
hours on end? I just don't get it.



I believe in using controlled crying to teach my child to go to sleep.
-------------
That's because you're a brutal abused sicko. It destroys their self-
esteem and their reserve of confidence. Children raised that way
have no ability to venture out.


But
this is a whole other kettle of fish. We go in often while the baby is
crying for a safety check and to reassure the baby. The few times I have
done it, it has worked within days and never more than three bouts of ten
minutes crying.
----------------
Your child gave up on trusting you, they are now incapable of deep
love and trust. They threw that part of themselves away.


I wouldn't consider allowing a baby to cry indefinitely. This sort of story
annoys me because it makes it look like anyone who chooses to use this
method is heartless. When we are far from it.

Judy
---------------
Oh sure, you brainless moron.
Steve

What a sad, sad story. When is the mother going to put her foot down,
and not ley cooky grandma kill her child.

Brandy


"toypup" wrote in message .net...
This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held. At four months, she told me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him. The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue. Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler having
a tantrum. The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for
hours on end? I just don't get it.

In article ,
says...
When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the

Hopefully her grandkids will grow up well DESPITE her and when she's
crying in a nursing home wondering why no one pays attention to her,
she'll realize and apologize to those poor kids.

People like that shouldn't be around babies. It makes me feel sick. It
makes me feel bad enough to be holding my son when he's having a bad day
and is crying, I can't imagine LEAVING him ALONE at 7 months of age to
cry.

Ugh, it just makes me feel sick to hear about people like that.



Courtney

In article ,
says...
What a sad, sad story. When is the mother going to put her foot down,
and not ley cooky grandma kill her child.



About the time she grows a backbone, which she apparently lacks?

I absolutely cannot understand a PARENT following their mothers advice
as gospel, when this is apparently a full functioning, normal mental
status adult. My parents were great and we even co-slept/were breastfed
past 2 years, but before having my son, you BET I researched everything,
and am doing far from the same things my parents did - especially when
it came to birth, which I politely informed my mom how WE were doing it,
and she could do the research to look at the new data herself if she
wanted to. When she started pushing about solids at 6 months because of
iron, I sent her links for research and told her basically to can it.

It just amazes me how many adult children apparently can't start being
*adults* and still run to mommy and daddy for all the answers, even if
they are wrong.



Courtney

On Thu, 21 Aug 2003 04:26:23 GMT, "toypup" wrote:

This subject is really a sore spot for me. I believe parents ought to be
able to do whatever works (to a point), but it seems I just know people who
don't know when to stop. A coworker of mine, a mother of five and a
grandma, lives with her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know how much
of her grandchildren's parenting is from her influence or not, but she
definitely agrees with the methods.

When her last grandchild was just born, she told me about not holding the
child or else he would always want to be held. At four months, she told me
he outcried them both. After an hour, they finally had to go get him. The
kid is now 7 months and he was left crying all by himself in a room and got
himself so worked up that he held his breath and passed out. The
grandmother thought her daughter picked him up, but when she went to see,
she found him not breathing and blue. Of course, they went to the ER, but
the doctor told her he had held his breath because he was so upset. I can
see the grandmother is looking at this more like a case of a toddler having
a tantrum. The daughter is now paranoid about putting the baby down and
letting him cry. The grandma still does it, but now stays in the room and
watches him in his coral instead of leaving, all the while telling him he's
okay. She still refuses to pick him up. She can't understand why he
doesn't like his walker and his cute coral they got him. She thinks he's
just being difficult.

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for
hours on end? I just don't get it.

This post brought tears to my eyes. Poor sweet baby (
Marie

"toypup" wrote in message .net...

When she told me the story about him passing out, I said, "Poor thing." She
said, "Poor him?? Poor us! We had to sit there and listen to him cry!"
Honestly, I believe when something works, it works pretty quickly. By the
time she sees her method working, the child will be an adult. Well, not
that bad, but I'm saying he would not be clingy anyway because of his age
and not her method. Babies are only babies for so long, why try so hard to
force them to grow up? Why make them cry by themselves in a lonely room for
hours on end? I just don't get it.

That's awful. We used a controlled-crying method with our son,
but it's been obvious to us that if it's going to work, it works
within ten minutes. If a kid has been on a cry-it-out system
all his life and is still crying for hours, IT'S NOT WORKING.
Poor little guy, I wish I could hug him.

Beth