Children's preferences

I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the process of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents agreeing on the
person to be assigned. The children went through the interview process in
June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June 2006
through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the children
took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for review was
August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and basically stated
all three children are mature enough and have a strong desire to live with
me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could make the change, but did
not agree with the other two. The mother did not file a response, as
pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also stated he could just
default the matter. The judge asked the mother if she would be open to a
temporary change, for six months or so, and the mother said no. The mother
did not have an attorney. The judge stated persons representing themselves
are held accountable just as much as those represented by attorney. The
judge did find both parents to be fit, at least there is not an attempt to
discredit one parent or the other, and could not make a ruling based on the
children's preferences alone. The judge will allow more time for the mother
to attain an attorney and the matter will be continued and status checked on
August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have been in
Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the children
for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last three
summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone, email,
teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The summer visits
came about after long negotiations with the mother. The mother keeps
claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have time with their
father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially engaged to be
married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and questions...

TNK

"TNK" wrote in message
. ..
I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the process of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents agreeing on
the person to be assigned. The children went through the interview process
in June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June
2006 through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the
children took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for
review was August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and
basically stated all three children are mature enough and have a strong
desire to live with me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could
make the change, but did not agree with the other two. The mother did not
file a response, as pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also
stated he could just default the matter. The judge asked the mother if
she would be open to a temporary change, for six months or so, and the
mother said no. The mother did not have an attorney. The judge stated
persons representing themselves are held accountable just as much as those
represented by attorney. The judge did find both parents to be fit, at
least there is not an attempt to discredit one parent or the other, and
could not make a ruling based on the children's preferences alone. The
judge will allow more time for the mother to attain an attorney and the
matter will be continued and status checked on August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have been
in Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the
children for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last
three summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone,
email, teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The
summer visits came about after long negotiations with the mother. The
mother keeps claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have
time with their father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially engaged to
be married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and
questions...

TNK



Are you just venting your story or do you have questions about child
support?

TNK wrote:
I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the process of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents agreeing on the
person to be assigned. The children went through the interview process in
June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June 2006
through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the children
took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for review was
August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and basically stated
all three children are mature enough and have a strong desire to live with
me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could make the change, but did
not agree with the other two. The mother did not file a response, as
pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also stated he could just
default the matter. The judge asked the mother if she would be open to a
temporary change, for six months or so, and the mother said no. The mother
did not have an attorney. The judge stated persons representing themselves
are held accountable just as much as those represented by attorney. The
judge did find both parents to be fit, at least there is not an attempt to
discredit one parent or the other, and could not make a ruling based on the
children's preferences alone. The judge will allow more time for the mother
to attain an attorney and the matter will be continued and status checked on
August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have been in
Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the children
for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last three
summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone, email,
teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The summer visits
came about after long negotiations with the mother. The mother keeps
claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have time with their
father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially engaged to be
married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and questions...

TNK

Why do you live so far from your kids?

wrote in message
ps.com...

TNK wrote:
I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three
children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the process
of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents agreeing on
the
person to be assigned. The children went through the interview process
in
June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June
2006
through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the
children
took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for review
was
August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and basically
stated
all three children are mature enough and have a strong desire to live
with
me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could make the change, but
did
not agree with the other two. The mother did not file a response, as
pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also stated he could
just
default the matter. The judge asked the mother if she would be open to
a
temporary change, for six months or so, and the mother said no. The
mother
did not have an attorney. The judge stated persons representing
themselves
are held accountable just as much as those represented by attorney. The
judge did find both parents to be fit, at least there is not an attempt
to
discredit one parent or the other, and could not make a ruling based on
the
children's preferences alone. The judge will allow more time for the
mother
to attain an attorney and the matter will be continued and status
checked on
August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have been
in
Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the
children
for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last three
summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone, email,
teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The summer
visits
came about after long negotiations with the mother. The mother keeps
claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have time with
their
father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially engaged
to be
married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very
well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and
questions...

TNK

Why do you live so far from your kids?

That's an interesting question and TNK can answer for himself.

What I found was as a father I was confronted with two choices: 1.) Putting
my career on hold to be available as a parent to my children, or 2.) Go
with career advancement moves that could take me anywhere away from the
children.

I chose #1 and have never regretted it. Some fathers select #2. Each case
if different but the decisions fathers make boil down to a choice between
one of those two.

Of course, some fathers have to deal with the mother moving the children
away from them. I am just responding from the father's moving perspective.

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
ps.com...

TNK wrote:
I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three
children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the
process
of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents agreeing
on
the
person to be assigned. The children went through the interview
process
in
June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June
2006
through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the
children
took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for
review
was
August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and basically
stated
all three children are mature enough and have a strong desire to live
with
me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could make the change,
but
did
not agree with the other two. The mother did not file a response, as
pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also stated he could
just
default the matter. The judge asked the mother if she would be open
to
a
temporary change, for six months or so, and the mother said no. The
mother
did not have an attorney. The judge stated persons representing
themselves
are held accountable just as much as those represented by attorney.
The
judge did find both parents to be fit, at least there is not an
attempt
to
discredit one parent or the other, and could not make a ruling based
on
the
children's preferences alone. The judge will allow more time for the
mother
to attain an attorney and the matter will be continued and status
checked on
August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have
been
in
Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the
children
for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last three
summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone, email,
teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The summer
visits
came about after long negotiations with the mother. The mother keeps
claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have time with
their
father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially engaged
to be
married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very
well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and
questions...

TNK

Why do you live so far from your kids?

That's an interesting question and TNK can answer for himself.

What I found was as a father I was confronted with two choices: 1.)
Putting
my career on hold to be available as a parent to my children, or 2.) Go
with career advancement moves that could take me anywhere away from the
children.

I chose #1 and have never regretted it. Some fathers select #2. Each
case
if different but the decisions fathers make boil down to a choice between
one of those two.

Of course, some fathers have to deal with the mother moving the children
away from them. I am just responding from the father's moving
perspective.

I forgot to mention one important factor. By deciding to place my career on
hold I ended up 2 CS modifications being based on imputed incomes. A
company I worked for filed bankruptcy and closed. By staying in the same
area as my children I could not replicate my prior earnings. If I had moved
away I could have found a job at the level or just below I had been at. It
took me nearly 6 years to get my earnings back up to stop the imputed income
game. Fathers who cannot afford the extra CS obligation created by imputed
incomes are forced to move away from their children to keep their earnings
at the expected levels since the courts don't recognize parenting as being
more important than money.

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
ps.com...

TNK wrote:
I have a case in California where I am seeking custody of my three
children
ages 15 (female), 13 (male) and 11 (female). Went through the
process
of
having an attorney/mediator assigned in court, both parents
agreeing
on
the
person to be assigned. The children went through the interview
process
in
June 2006. Then spent the summer with me from the last week of June
2006
through the first week in August 2006. Another interview of the
children
took place in the first week of August 2006. The court date for
review
was
August 10 2006. The guardian ad litem wrote a report and basically
stated
all three children are mature enough and have a strong desire to
live
with
me (father). The mother did agree the oldest could make the change,
but
did
not agree with the other two. The mother did not file a response,
as
pointed out by the judge on August 10. The judge also stated he
could
just
default the matter. The judge asked the mother if she would be open
to
a
temporary change, for six months or so, and the mother said no. The
mother
did not have an attorney. The judge stated persons representing
themselves
are held accountable just as much as those represented by attorney.
The
judge did find both parents to be fit, at least there is not an
attempt
to
discredit one parent or the other, and could not make a ruling based
on
the
children's preferences alone. The judge will allow more time for
the
mother
to attain an attorney and the matter will be continued and status
checked on
August 30 2006.

The mother lives in California, and I live in Pennsylvania. I have
been
in
Pennsylvania for about ten years, and have regularly visited the
children
for the weeks of their birthdays, and have had them for the last
three
summers. I am in constant contact with the children by phone,
email,
teleconferencing, etc., at a minimum of every other day. The summer
visits
came about after long negotiations with the mother. The mother
keeps
claiming it is her kindness and desire for the kids to have time
with
their
father the she allows the summer visits.

Both parents are in another relationship, mother is officially
engaged
to be
married, without a date set. Part of the children's preference is
the
significant other involved. They all really like and get along very
well
with mine, and do not like her's at all.

There's more, but I'll wait for the bombardment of comments and
questions...

TNK

Why do you live so far from your kids?

That's an interesting question and TNK can answer for himself.

What I found was as a father I was confronted with two choices: 1.)
Putting
my career on hold to be available as a parent to my children, or 2.) Go
with career advancement moves that could take me anywhere away from the
children.

I chose #1 and have never regretted it. Some fathers select #2. Each
case
if different but the decisions fathers make boil down to a choice
between
one of those two.

Of course, some fathers have to deal with the mother moving the children
away from them. I am just responding from the father's moving
perspective.

I forgot to mention one important factor. By deciding to place my career
on
hold I ended up 2 CS modifications being based on imputed incomes. A
company I worked for filed bankruptcy and closed. By staying in the same
area as my children I could not replicate my prior earnings. If I had
moved
away I could have found a job at the level or just below I had been at.
It
took me nearly 6 years to get my earnings back up to stop the imputed
income
game. Fathers who cannot afford the extra CS obligation created by
imputed
incomes are forced to move away from their children to keep their earnings
at the expected levels since the courts don't recognize parenting as being
more important than money.

1 Timothy 6:10 describes these folks to a tee!