parents in the dentist's room

"Vicki S" wrote in message
...
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?



I don't think you have a problem at all. I'm leary of letting my child in a
room with strangers where I can't supervise, be it doctors, dentists, dance
teachers... whatever. My daughter's dentist has never had a problem with me
being in the room with her. She's only been twice, but each time I was in
the room. I recommend finding a pediatric dentist, who specializes only in
kids, or a dentist who will allow you to be in the room.




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My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

--
-- Vicki
Married DH May 21, 1995
Ima shel DS, born 11/16/99; and DD, born 5/19/02.
"Stay-at-home" Ima since October 2002.
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish proverb
I may not currently be pregnant, but I look pregnant, does that count?

I would not take my child to a dentist that sees only "easy" children. What
do they expect anyway, all kids to be perfect? I dont know anyone who
doesn't get a little freaked out by the dentist, me included.

I've taken my kids to 2 different ones, just because of a move and both have
let us go in the room. My son was a little afraid at his first visit becuase
of, get this, the chair! Lol.

They started going at age 3.

Good luck!

Kari
mom to Kaylie (7) Noah (4) and Xander (2 mos)

Vicki S wrote:
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children.

In a sense, I think this is a big pro for your dentist: at least
he is honest about not being able to deal with difficult kids.
Coming from a 'dentist' family, I have seen first hand how much
harm a dentist can do who doesn't know how to treat 'difficult'
kids but tries anyway.

Then again, what you describe as pediatric dental care sounds
like a story from way back in the 1960's. Surely, pediatric
dentistry must be more advanced that his by now?

Could you ask around with friends who have kids? They may have
a couple of good suggestions for you.

--
-- I
mommy to DS (17m)
mommy of a tiny angel (Oct 2003)
guardian of DH (32)
TTC #2.5
War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left

Hi Vicki. I ran into the same problem with my DD who was extremely shy,
anxious around strangers. My Dentist said the kids would have to go back by
themselves. I found a pediatric dentist that will allow the parents to be
present if there is a lot of anxiety or if they are really little, but their
goal is to help them have the confidence to eventually be by themselves. I
am so far very pleased with the pediatric dentist. They have a beautiful
treatment area with a tv set up, a table with crayons and books. Kids that
have had anxiety issues, like my DD did can go in for a happy visit. Just go
back to play, and gradually sit in the chair to have their teeth examined.
It took 4 visits before everything was accomplished with my DD the first
time, but after that she has been fine.
To me it was ironic that the Dentists want to see the kids from the time the
first tooth erupts, and yet aren't willing to accomodate for different
personalities. For that reason, DD1 didn't go for her first visit until she
was 3.

HTH.
Amy



"Vicki S" wrote in message
...
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

--
-- Vicki
Married DH May 21, 1995
Ima shel DS, born 11/16/99; and DD, born 5/19/02.
"Stay-at-home" Ima since October 2002.
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish proverb
I may not currently be pregnant, but I look pregnant, does that count?

In article , Vicki S says...

My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

Call around, and try to get a dentist that specializes in children. Or one that
your pediatrician recommends. This isn't an office that's freindly to kids, but
don't want to hew to a policy of excluding them completely. I can't really
blame them for recognizing their own limitations, although my sense of the stuff
they're telling you is that it's bunk. (For instance, each camp and
after-school program that my son attended had some kind of health form, all
different, varying widely in waht information is called on and whether a doc's
signiture is needed - *several* of them claimed that theirs was a New York State
required medical form. Yea - huh?)

My dentist was one recommended by my ped, and I go to her myself now. The
dentist always let me stay in the office when my son was little. But I think
the 'magic words' you're looking for are "let your fingers do the walking". As
in DENTIST in the yellow pages :-)

Banty

I have had three separate pediatric dentists and not one of them has NOT let
me stay with the kids while they were doing work. I have an absolutely great
pediatric dentist and can't imagine him not seeing "difficult" kids. I am
really surprised. Are you seeing a true pediatric dentist that only sees
children? Because if your not, then you should.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

Vicki S wrote in message
...
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

--
-- Vicki
Married DH May 21, 1995
Ima shel DS, born 11/16/99; and DD, born 5/19/02.
"Stay-at-home" Ima since October 2002.
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish proverb
I may not currently be pregnant, but I look pregnant, does that count?

"Vicki S" wrote in message
...
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

DS is 2yo and has been to the dentist twice (saw 2 different dentists).
Both times, I was instructed to lay on the chair and have DS lay on top of
me. My coworker recently married a newly minted pediatric dentist from an
excellent dental school. Before I brought DS in the first time, I asked how
her fiance at the time worked with kids just to get an idea. She said he
had the parents lay down and put the children on top. He lives too far and
I wouldn't have DS see him anyway because he was so inexperienced, but
apparently, it's a very common practice. That's three dentists I know, all
strangers to each other, who do that. For a slightly older child, I would
expect that the parent could stay in the room, since they don't seem to have
any problem with the parent being right underneath younger kids. I live in
California.

"Vicki S" wrote in message
...
My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."

I am in the midwestern section of the USA. Is this true for other
parents in the USA? Have any of you had to find "magic words" to get
the dentist to let you stay in the room while they checked your small
child's teeth? At this point my plan is to call around and find someone
who thinks it is normal for a four year old boy to want a parent in
sight while a stranger pokes around in his mouth with sharp instruments.
I'll drive a ways to visit such a dentist if necessary, but I find this
extraordinary and want a reality check. Is it like this for you? Am I
the one with the problem?

--
-- Vicki

That's not the way our pediatric dentist is at all!!! We're in Ohio, and our dentist is GREAT!!
They let parents be in the rooms with the kids, and I haven't seen ANY straps anywhere! I wouldn't
go *anywhere* if they wouldn't let me be in there with my sons. They *do* have a separate room they
can close off if they know a child is going to be very loud. But the rest of their rooms are open.
I have been taking both my boys there since they were 2. I have a friend that goes there, too
(after my glowing recommendation). Her son is 3, and a few months ago he had to have 5 (!) cavities
filled. They DID put him under to do that, but that's understandable. You are absolutely not out
of line to insist on being in the room (as long as you kids want you there) during their check-up.
And it's not uncommon for a 4 year old to not want someone poking around his mouth (as necessary as
it may be). Keep looking around and try to find a more kid-friendly dentist. HTH!!

Dawn

Vicki S wrote in :

My DH just got back from a visit with our dentist. I asked him to see
if they would see our just-turned-4 yr old son, and they told him that
they only see "easy" children. We are pretty sure our son will not be
even remotely easy. :-) They also told my husband that "kid's
dentists will not allow parents in the room when they are doing the
work. Kids have to be with staff only. No exceptions. And, if the kid
has problems the dentist can either quit, dope the kid, or strap him
down. That is the standard for all pediatric dentists nationwide.
Period, end of story."
[snip]

That really shocked me.

From the UK:

I have always been in the room when my kids have seen the dentist. They
have been to two pediatric dentists (which are rare in the UK), and at least
three adult dentists, and not one of them has ever suggested that I should
leave the room.

FWIW, a lot of the emphasis with the dentists I have been to seem to suggest
that they would prefer to have the baby teeth go 'bad', rather then give
the kid a life-long phobia about dentists.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three