Not every woman wants to be in this situation...

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I have not stated that I was not responsible. I think that if I were to
sit back, wait on a disability check every month and not go after the
person who also is responsible - then wouldn't that make me not facing
my
responsibilities? Why is the father not responisible? Give me a good
reason why I shouldn't go after him? I would love to hear one.


You are just as responsible (if not more) for the children existing.

No one is obligated to work two jobs just to provide you with a lifestyle.

No one is obligated to work at a more dangerous and more stressful job
just to make more money to provide you with a lifestyle.

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message

lkaboutparenting.com...
I have not stated that I was not responsible. I think that if I were
to
sit back, wait on a disability check every month and not go after the
person who also is responsible - then wouldn't that make me not facing
my
responsibilities? Why is the father not responisible? Give me a good
reason why I shouldn't go after him? I would love to hear one.

Because you're posting to a newsgroup that has become a gathering place
for people who don't think fathers should be forced to pay child
support.

You should have realized that when you first started reading the
posts -
and saved the keystrokes.

You won't find any help here, as I tried to advise you.

Well, Moon, she does deserve to hear both sides of the issue. And not
everyone here is unreasonable.

Moonie as usually is wrong, simply blinded by her bitterness.

I am not expecting sympathy nor do I expect to live in the lap of luxury.
However, I do expect that the father HELP to provide for the necessities
that my children need.

And just how am I proving the OP's point? It was a mutual decision for me
to stay home and take care of our children and our home. (I was the
fix-it person around here too.) It was a decision on his part that to
make up the difference in the income as a firefighter versus an insulator,
that he would use the (plenty of) time off to work another job.

Evidently it is expected of me to work my butt off when their father
decided not to be a father. Why would it not be expected for him to
provide for his children too?

Sir, I do not expect to have my ex pay for everything nor do I expect to
sit around and do nothing all day long. I just believe that instead of
working to support the family that he started before even leaving my
children, he should be helping to make sure the children that we made
together be fed, clothed, etc.

"danceteacher1973" wrote in

Let me give you a good example of why dead-beat fathers should have to pay
more, should be held accountable, and should (in my opinion) be, not only
put in jail, but buried under it!

OK, so because your drug addicted husband gave you a raw deal, you want to
burden the entire male race with laws that are not only unreasonable, they
are a basic slap in the face to our freedoms and force a new scale of
slavery on our entire nation!

Let me ask you, why do you turn to strangers in times of trouble, where is
your own family who can lend a helping hand until you get on your feet?
Seems to me that you want the government to solve all your problems, but is
it realistic to expect anything from a drug addict, despite all the laws in
place now?

We as a free society owe you nothing, but a communist society where the
government controls everything will ensure you have bread and water to live
on, but only after you have stood in line all day to receive it.

"danceteacher1973" wrote
.................................................. .

Sir, I do not expect to have my ex pay for everything nor do I expect to
sit around and do nothing all day long. I just believe that instead of
working to support the family that he started before even leaving my
children, he should be helping to make sure the children that we made
together be fed, clothed, etc.
===
How much support is he supposed to be paying? Has he paid any of it?
How often does he see the children?
===

I can see your point of view. However, just to give you a little more
about my situation - it is very different.

My ex is part owner in the company that he works for now. Last year in 6
months he only showed that he made $1400. As far as the percentage, not
100% of that would come close to being fair. The problem with him is that
he isn't reporting all the money he is making as he is "turning the money
back over into the company." However, he has a brand new vehicle. He
lives with this girlfriend and pays nothing towards the rent. (According
to his mother - so I cannot be 100% on this.)

As far as the other child is concerned, the mother got pregnant on
purpose. Those words came out of my ex's mouth. The girlfriend has
worked 2 jobs before this and continues to work 2 jobs. Now since my ex
is lving with her, she doesn't have to pay for child care since my ex
babysits his daughter and her son from a previous marriage. The
girlfriend's mother babysits when my ex works his job.

So I believe that my children should have their needs met. It isn't their
fault that their father turned into a bum - just as it isn't your
children's fault that your husband had a one night stand many years ago.
I believe there is nothing wrong with me going after my ex to make him
face his responsibilities.

And to the other poster regarding looking for sypmathy - I am not looking
for sympathy, just trying to show some of the closed-minded individuals
the other side of the coin.

No, I would not want to be in the position that I am. I am very fortunate
in the fact that I have a loving, supportive family that I am sure would
help me out if I ever needed it. However, my ex knows that and expects
someone else, anyone else, to take up where he left off. That is a grave
injustice to everyone. Who benefits from him not taking responsibility?
The only ones I can see is him. Not even his girlfriend benifits because
honestly, if he can do this to me, he is likely to do it to her and that
child.

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I can see your point of view. However, just to give you a little more
about my situation - it is very different.

My ex is part owner in the company that he works for now. Last year in
6
months he only showed that he made $1400.

So prove he made more of STFU

As far as the percentage, not
100% of that would come close to being fair.

Why am I not surprised with that?

The problem with him is that
he isn't reporting all the money he is making as he is "turning the
money
back over into the company."

That is usually what owners of businesses do.........

However, he has a brand new vehicle. He
lives with this girlfriend and pays nothing towards the rent.
(According
to his mother - so I cannot be 100% on this.)

So what, sounds like you are jealous.


As far as the other child is concerned, the mother got pregnant on
purpose. Those words came out of my ex's mouth.

So what.

The girlfriend has
worked 2 jobs before this and continues to work 2 jobs.

Her choice

Now since my ex
is lving with her, she doesn't have to pay for child care since my ex
babysits his daughter and her son from a previous marriage. The
girlfriend's mother babysits when my ex works his job.

Their collective choices.


So I believe that my children should have their needs met. It isn't
their
fault that their father turned into a bum - just as it isn't your
children's fault that your husband had a one night stand many years ago.
I believe there is nothing wrong with me going after my ex to make him
face his responsibilities.

And to the other poster regarding looking for sypmathy - I am not
looking
for sympathy, just trying to show some of the closed-minded individuals
the other side of the coin.

Would you like some cheese with that WHINE????


No, I would not want to be in the position that I am. I am very
fortunate
in the fact that I have a loving, supportive family that I am sure would
help me out if I ever needed it. However, my ex knows that and expects
someone else, anyone else, to take up where he left off. That is a
grave
injustice to everyone. Who benefits from him not taking responsibility?
The only ones I can see is him. Not even his girlfriend benifits
because
honestly, if he can do this to me, he is likely to do it to her and that
child.

WHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE.

Like I haven't heard that story before.

He close to work the job (which as I stated before was less dangerous than
the job he had chosen before) and took this job knowing that in order to
pay from our home (small - only 1200 sq ft and the monthly payment is less
than renting a small apartment) the he either needed to get a second job
or I did. He decided to work and to let me have the responsibility of
raising our children at home.

Now just how am I more responsible for my children's existance? If that
isn't the stupidest thing I have ever hear! lol Just shows me that you
are pig headed, one-sided, and not smart enough to think clearly. lol

"danceteacher1973" wrote in

I am not expecting sympathy nor do I expect to live in the lap of luxury.
However, I do expect that the father HELP to provide for the necessities
that my children need.


As a society, what do you expect us to do?
We owe you nothing!

OK, you tell me what would be fair for the father to pay? If I am getting
less than $200 a month and that won't even pay for my son's medicine much
less help towards the house payment, groceries, or clothes for the
children, what is fair?

lol, no, I am not jealous. As far as I am concerned, YOU can have him.
Only I doubt you would want to live this hell that I am going through. I
actually feel sorry for the girlfriend because I am sure she will be in
this situation before long as well. And he should also have to pay child
support for that one as well.

I am doing my best at proving he is making more money. It is just that
the further I dig, the more likely the IRS will become involved and in the
end, I am sure he will lose another job. No matter what I do, I seem to
be stuck in a no-win situation. Hopefully a short stay in jail will make
him reconsider his horrible decisions.

Why should my children not receive child support because my ex wants to
make his business grow? Why can't he get a decent paying job to help pay
for his responsibilities?

I hate that you think I am whinning. I only am wanting to show you some
of you thick skulled, pig-headed people what happens on the other side of
the situation. I suppose you have heard this story before because you
have stiffed your children out of getting child support? It figures.