Not every woman wants to be in this situation...

Honey, if I wanted the government to solve my problems, then I would be
sitting on my butt, waiting on a check for disability and welfare. I took
the high road and made sure I could work to support my children. I am not
asking for help from the government nor have I said anything about the
entire male race. I just want one man who is also responsible for 3
beautiful children to at least help take care of their needs. Their wants
are a different matter. They WANT a father in the house. But they are
not getting it so why should they suffer due to lack of money? Just
because one man wants to leave his responsibilties then you believe you
should take up for him along with all other dead beat fathers? Since when
was responsibility considered a form of slavery? lol That is the
funniest thing I have heard in a long time!

I do have a wonderful, supportive family. But why would it be their
burden to help with my children? Granted that they do help but that is
part of the problem. My ex knows that my family would not let my children
suffer. So he does nothing about it.

Do you not understand that he is the one who is happy to sit back and rely
on the government to take care of his responsibilities? He would be happy
to let me go on welfare and food stamps. He refuses to pay for medical
insurance and expects the government to take care of that. Do you not
understand that his inaction and the inactions of others like him cause a
burden on the government which in turn affects everyone?

Boy, are you people backwards! lol

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
He close to work the job (which as I stated before was less dangerous than
the job he had chosen before) and took this job knowing that in order to
pay from our home (small - only 1200 sq ft and the monthly payment is less
than renting a small apartment) the he either needed to get a second job
or I did. He decided to work and to let me have the responsibility of
raising our children at home.

Now just how am I more responsible for my children's existance? If that
isn't the stupidest thing I have ever hear! lol Just shows me that you
are pig headed, one-sided, and not smart enough to think clearly. lol
===
To whom are you speaking? Usenet convention is to quote the text to which
you are
responding. Otherwise, your comments simply hang in the air and making
no sense to anyone.
===

He has seen his children 5 times this year and he lives in the next small
town. He is supposed to be paying $900 a month for child support plus
keep the kids insured. I am getting less than $200 a month. That doesn't
even cover the cost of my son's medication.

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
He has seen his children 5 times this year and he lives in the next small
town. He is supposed to be paying $900 a month for child support plus
keep the kids insured. I am getting less than $200 a month. That doesn't
even cover the cost of my son's medication.
===
To whom is he paying the $200.00--to you or CSE?
===

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
...

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I have not stated that I was not responsible. I think that if I were to
sit back, wait on a disability check every month and not go after the
person who also is responsible - then wouldn't that make me not facing
my
responsibilities? Why is the father not responisible? Give me a good
reason why I shouldn't go after him? I would love to hear one.

Because you're posting to a newsgroup that has become a gathering place
for people who don't think fathers should be forced to pay child support.

You should have realized that when you first started reading the posts -
and saved the keystrokes.

You won't find any help here, as I tried to advise you.

Well, Moon, she does deserve to hear both sides of the issue. And not
everyone here is unreasonable.

I agree that not everyone is unreasonable - on the other hand, look at the
other responses the OP has received - including the one who, summarily,
decided that the entire post was fiction.

Unfortunately, that is the response that most CP mothers receive on this
particular newsgroup.

"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I have not stated that I was not responsible. I think that if I were to
sit back, wait on a disability check every month and not go after the
person who also is responsible - then wouldn't that make me not facing
my
responsibilities? Why is the father not responisible? Give me a good
reason why I shouldn't go after him? I would love to hear one.


You are just as responsible (if not more)

Why is she MORE responsible?

for the children existing.

The children that were born of the marriage.



No one is obligated to work two jobs just to provide you with a
lifestyle.

She wasn't asking for it, for herself.



No one is obligated to work at a more dangerous and more stressful job
just to make more money to provide you with a lifestyle.

She wasn't asking for a lifestyle.

Bitter often, Paul?

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
He has seen his children 5 times this year and he lives in the next small
town. He is supposed to be paying $900 a month for child support plus
keep the kids insured. I am getting less than $200 a month. That doesn't
even cover the cost of my son's medication.

Your claim he made $28,000 per year at the time CS was set which means he
was earning $2,333 per month. He was most likely paying 15% in federal
taxes, 7% in state taxes and 8% in FICA/Medicare taxes. 30% in taxes off of
$2,333 left him with $1,633 per month. If he is ordered to pay $900 per
month plus another $100 per month in insurance, he would only have had $633
per month left to live on.

Do you think it is fair for you to get 61% of his take home pay and leave
him only 39%?

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in

Your claim he made $28,000 per year at the time CS was set which means he
was earning $2,333 per month. He was most likely paying 15% in federal
taxes, 7% in state taxes and 8% in FICA/Medicare taxes. 30% in taxes off
of
$2,333 left him with $1,633 per month. If he is ordered to pay $900 per
month plus another $100 per month in insurance, he would only have had
$633
per month left to live on.

So if he has to pay $900, is she contributing $900 a month too?

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Honey, if I wanted the government to solve my problems, then I would be
sitting on my butt, waiting on a check for disability and welfare. I took
the high road and made sure I could work to support my children. I am not
asking for help from the government nor have I said anything about the
entire male race. I just want one man who is also responsible for 3
beautiful children to at least help take care of their needs. Their wants
are a different matter. They WANT a father in the house. But they are
not getting it so why should they suffer due to lack of money? Just
because one man wants to leave his responsibilties then you believe you
should take up for him along with all other dead beat fathers? Since when
was responsibility considered a form of slavery? lol That is the
funniest thing I have heard in a long time!

I do have a wonderful, supportive family. But why would it be their
burden to help with my children? Granted that they do help but that is
part of the problem. My ex knows that my family would not let my children
suffer. So he does nothing about it.

Do you not understand that he is the one who is happy to sit back and rely
on the government to take care of his responsibilities? He would be happy
to let me go on welfare and food stamps. He refuses to pay for medical
insurance and expects the government to take care of that. Do you not
understand that his inaction and the inactions of others like him cause a
burden on the government which in turn affects everyone?

Boy, are you people backwards! lol


Dance, your ex sounds like a hard case but what I think you need to do is to
decide what is more important, money or a relationship. Do you want your
child to have a relationship with his dad or is the biggest concern getting
money from him?

You have no control over what he is doing with him life now. How he spends
him time, his money, its none of your business. You can beat yourself over
and over about it or you can put your energies into your health and work and
your son.

You claim only getting $200 a month. That is more help then some get. I
would have been happy to get that. Insurance? There are gov. programs that
will help with that. Your son needs $200 in meds a month??? Look into gov.
programs. Do what you have to do now to maintain while you get healthy and
can get a good job.

When I ask you to look at what is more important, money or relationship its
because while you are fighting him for more money, he is going farther away
from you and son because of the fight. How comfortable is it for him to come
around if you will be freaking out about money and his new car and his
job/lack of? If you back off, he might decide to spend more time with the
boy and then be more prone to help out. But $900?!?!? Ask him what he thinks
is fair and can comfortably afford. Compromise! If he is in the boys life,
you will have more free time to yourself to work and get healthy. You can
only benefit from him being a dad. Your son will benefit immensely too.
T

"danceteacher1973" wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
OK, you tell me what would be fair for the father to pay? If I am getting
less than $200 a month and that won't even pay for my son's medicine much
less help towards the house payment, groceries, or clothes for the
children, what is fair?

lol, no, I am not jealous. As far as I am concerned, YOU can have him.
Only I doubt you would want to live this hell that I am going through. I
actually feel sorry for the girlfriend because I am sure she will be in
this situation before long as well. And he should also have to pay child
support for that one as well.

I am doing my best at proving he is making more money. It is just that
the further I dig, the more likely the IRS will become involved and in the
end, I am sure he will lose another job. No matter what I do, I seem to
be stuck in a no-win situation. Hopefully a short stay in jail will make
him reconsider his horrible decisions.

Nice to see that after you have provided for all your child's needs that you
still have spare time to investigate your ex and attempt to get him locked
up.


Why should my children not receive child support because my ex wants to
make his business grow? Why can't he get a decent paying job to help pay
for his responsibilities?

I hate that you think I am whinning. I only am wanting to show you some
of you thick skulled, pig-headed people what happens on the other side of
the situation. I suppose you have heard this story before because you
have stiffed your children out of getting child support? It figures.