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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84... "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84... ... Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet? Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types, I didn't think you had the stones. that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think you'll get laid....NOT. I'm sure that will come as news to my wife. Cheers, Jim |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
"Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84... "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84... ... Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet? Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types, I didn't think you had the stones. go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think you'll get laid....NOT. I'm sure that will come as news to my wife. Cheers, Jim |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
"Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84... "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84... ... Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet? Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types, I didn't think you had the stones. go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think you'll get laid....NOT. I'm sure that will come as news to my wife. Cheers, Jim |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84... "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84... ... Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet? Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types, I didn't think you had the stones. go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada Uh, no. I want you to tell me what *you* think is feminist propaganda, not point to what other people have thought for you. Synopsize it for me. If you can, I mean. Pardon me while I don't hold my breath. Ta, Jim |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84... "Clave" wrote in message ... "...8MM.." wrote in message news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84... ... Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet? Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types, I didn't think you had the stones. go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada Uh, no. I want you to tell me what *you* think is feminist propaganda, not point to what other people have thought for you. Synopsize it for me. If you can, I mean. Pardon me while I don't hold my breath. Ta, Jim |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the
child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks! "dani" wrote in message news On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 13:11:29 -0700, teachrmama wrote: I am very interested in reading the studies that have found this to be true, Chris. Please post. This should answer your question Teachermama. There are many articles on the net covering the infant-parent bonding process, so I tried to make a compilation of the ones I believe you will find most interesting: "In the first month of life, an infant experiences herself as one with the surrounding environment. The basic developmental task is for an infant to achieve a physiological balance and rhythm. This balance evolves out of numerous completions of the infant bonding cycle and prepares the way for bonding and attachment. From months 2 to 6, an infant’s experience shifts from feeling merged with her environment to feeling "one" with the parent. There now appear a number of signs of an infant’s developing attachment to his primary caretaker: smiling, making eye contact which expands from a few seconds to a few minutes during this period, a preoccupation with the parent’s face and making happy noises. By the sixth month, an attaching infant is showing the full range of emotions, is responsive to parental wooing and initiates wooing exchanges. By 6 or 7 months, an infant has usually begun to experience stranger anxiety. Paradoxically, stranger anxiety testifies to the strength of an infant’s attachment to her parent. It is this attachment that defines everyone else as strangers. Without an attachment, there are no strangers; everyone is of equal emotional importance or unimportance. Behaviorally, this anxiety manifests as distress in the presence of strangers and a checking back in with the parent for reassurance. Over the next two to three months, stranger anxiety intensifies before fading into its successor: separation anxiety. Separation anxiety usually begins at 9 to 10 months, peaks between 12 and 15 months, and can last until somewhere between 24 and 36 months. Separation anxiety emerges from the infant’s growing awareness of separateness from her parent. It is yet further testimony to the strength of the infant’s attachment." Excerpt from "Bonding and attachment, when it goes right", from the Washington Parent Magazine: http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...11/bonding.htm "The regulation of emotion in the brain first occurs during mother-infant mutual gaze dialogues. The regulation and organization of an infant's emotional perceptions continue to develop through ongoing interaction with its mother or primary caregiver. Research has shown that a mother who is pleasantly responsive to the infant through early eye contact is stimulating positive social learning. In contrast, a mother who is not responsive to that early eye contact isn't providing a positive social learning experience and is hindering the human attachment process, which is critical to healthy emotional growth. Similar social learning opportunities occur when an infant attempts to communicate through its cries. Crying may be spurred because the infant is hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or frightened. Often upon waking, an infant will begin to signal to its caregiver with soft whimpering, which eventually accelerates into frantic crying if it receives no response. Sometimes crying is misconstrued as an idealized expression of anger or manipulation. Yet, such distressed crying in a young infant might better be described as a fear response. A fear invoked by the uncomfortable feeling of being soiled, the rumbling of stomach pains, or the vulnerability of being alone in the dark. Crying infants who are unattended have been known to cry desperately for an hour or more until the amygdala eventually shuts down. The infant in turn, learns after repeated episodes that it can not expect comfort and response to its cries, and it may decide its needs are unworthy of attention and nurturing--a decision which may ultimately affect the infant's development of self-worth and connectedness to the world." Please find the full article on "The emotional Infant brain", by Lynn M. Johnson, on this page: http://babyparenting.about.com/libra.../aa040100a.htm Information on premature babies and the bonding process: When a baby is born prematurely, many mothers and fathers worry about the lack of opportunity to have "bonding experiences". While "full term bonding" involves picking out baby bunny wallpaper for the nursery and snuggling with the baby after delivery, "preterm bonding" can involve walls lined with blaring monitors and being afraid to touch the baby for days after delivery. Nevertheless, the tenants of bonding that hold true for full term parents also hold true for preterm parents: Bonding is a process that occurs over time, bonding has peak moments, and bonding is flexible, dynamic and resilient. It is very important for you to remember that bonding is what happens over time as you get to know your baby. You are not missing out on a critical period for bonding when you miss the last part of your pregnancy, or when you can’t hold your slippery newborn against your body. When your baby is in the NICU, you’re not "missing the boat" and if you feel detached, you are not a "bad" parent. While feelings of detachment can look and feel like you don’t care about or feel anything for your baby, in fact, your detachment is an important feature of how you cope with the trauma of premature delivery. There is no way your mind can absorb all that has happened, the vast changes in plans, and the future implications of this turn of events. You need time to adjust to this new reality, time to learn how to navigate your new world, and time to emotionally come to terms with it all. If you find yourself avoiding the NICU and/or your baby, particularly early on, this is a normal and natural reaction to the stress and trauma of having an early, medically compromised baby. Feelings of detachment don’t mean you’re an unfit mother or father. It means you are a new parent adjusting to a new baby and to a different situation than you were prepared for. Bonding during pregnancy doesn’t have to include knitting booties, preparing the nursery, stroking your big belly and childbirth classes. Bonding after birth doesn’t have to include snuggling, feeding, cooing, and smiles. While these activities can be evidence that bonding is occurring, they are not mandatory. You may still not be able to knit, nest, or nuzzle, but by simply wanting what is best for your baby, you are bonding. A lot more on premature babies and bonding can be found on "BONDING IN THE NICU AND BEYOND", Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D. and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. http://www.preemieparentsupport.com/bond.html "The premature infant is often not physically ready to adapt to the world outside of the uterus. Less fat to insulate the body leaves baby less able to keep warm. There may be a lack of immunity to infection and muscular strength necessary to expand the lungs for breathing. The capillary network of the lungs may also be inadequate to provide sufficient exchange of respiratory gases. Therefore, baby is placed in an incubator as soon as possible, and in many cases given oxygen. Until the eighties, the theory was that preemies were better off left undisturbed in the incubator with minimal handling. Needless to say, my mother was kept from touching or holding me. In fact, she wasn't even allowed in the same room with me, but was merely allowed to peer at me through a glass window... When it comes to growth and development of preemies, doctors typically evaluate an infant's progress according to an adjusted age. To calculate this adjusted age, subtract the number of weeks or months between your baby's birthdate and his due date. For example, if your baby is now 5 months old and he was born 2 months early, he has an adjusted age of 3 months. Standard guidelines for accessing growth and development can generally be used after the second year, unless there are extenuating medical circumstances. " From "Preemie Care and Development" from about.com http://babyparenting.miningco.com/li.../aa051001a.htm On the infants senses: "Although newborn vision isn't particularly impressive, it is reassuring to know that the other sense modalities are considerably more advanced. For example, at birth infants will show different patterns and degrees of body movement depending on what touches them (e.g., a puff of air directed at their bellies vs. stroking). Their sense of smell is also reasonably sophisticated; for example, based on the direction they turn their heads, newborns can distinguish between the smell of their mothers from that of a stranger. Finally, their sense of taste is also well developed. Indeed, infants not only prefer sweet solutions over salty or bitter tasting solutions (based on how much they eat) but they also prefer some types of sweets over others (e.g., glucose is preferred over lactose; note, however, that it has not yet been determined if they prefer bitter-sweet chocolate over sweet chocolate!). Although hearing develops somewhat later than these other senses, it is more sophisticated than vision. For example, in work that is now widely known, Anthony DeCasper (University of North Carolina-Greensboro) has demonstrated (based on patterns of sucking behavior) that newborns just a few hours old are able to recognize their mother's voice (but not their father's). The basis for this recognition has been thought to be prenatal experience in hearing the mother's voice. Note, though, that it is not until about 3 months that infants will recognize their mother's face. And, it is likely not until 6 or 7 months that infants begin to think of their mothers as a very special person in their world (Dads also become "special" about this age). Like the newborn's cognitive abilities, the development of social and emotional behaviors have a relatively long incubation period. Although newborns do smile, such smiles are generally more of a reflex than a response to a social situation; social smiling as a rule doesn't occur until 6 to 8 weeks. Similarly, although newborns might be able to tell the difference between a smiling face and a sad face, they have no idea what these faces mean to humans. This latter ability may not begin to develop until closer to the first year of life, and likely undergoes further development over the next 1 to 2 years . Their own production of emotion is also limited; emotions that adults interpret as excitement and/or joy are frequently seen, but more differentiated emotions like "afraid" or "angry" or "sad" develop later in the first year..." The long-term effects of the attachment-relationship: "Interesting differences exist between children who had secure versus anxious attachments. Children with secure early attachments are more likely in later years to: - be better problem-solvers - form friendships and be leaders with peers - be more empathetic and less aggressive - engage their world with confidence - have higher self-esteem - be better at resolving conflict - be more self-reliant and adaptable In contrast, children with anxious attachments are more likely in later years to: - be socially withdrawn from peers - be overly dependent on adults (e.g., teachers) - have lower self-confidence - victimize or be victimized by peers - form fewer friendships - be less emotionally healthy " A lot more research and articles can be found on "Attachment and Bonding", University of Minnesota http://ici2.umn.edu/ceed/publication...attachment.htm On infants with vision and hearing impairments: "In early interaction, bodily contact is central during the earliest weeks but then vision is the most important avenue in communication. A normally sighted infant expresses the joy she or he feels in communication; we understand the infant without any explanations (Figure 1.A). A visually impaired infant may not see enough to copy the smiles of the adult persons and therefore needs enforcement through tactile and auditory information (Figure 1.B). Since the visually impaired infant often has to concentrate on listening and does not have the usual eye contact, the infant is in danger of being thought to be uninterested in interaction. The most important task in the assessment of infants is to find out how much vision there is for visual communication, whether the infant uses central vision and thus has a possibility to have normal eye-contact or uses an extrafoveal area of the retina to look straight ahead and seems to look past when looking at a persons face and how close an adult needs to be to be seen by the infant. Our expectations of the infant's responses are based on interaction with normally sighted infants and therefore it is difficult to accept and understand another type of response as a normal response in the case of visual impairment. The communication situation needs to be explained to the adult persons several times. Video recordings of early interaction are effective in demonstrating to the adult persons that the infant wants to communicate and enjoys interaction. Early interaction of a normally sighted infant and an infant with dual sensory impairment (visual and hearing impairment). A. At the age of three months, visual communication of a normally sighted infant is an effective bonding function; the infant and the adult person understand each other right from the start. A visually impaired infant may not have normal eye contact and may seem to look at the hair of the adult because of eccentric fixation. The infant uses tactile confirmation of auditory communication when lip movements cannot be seen. In such a situation the parents and caretakers need support and training in early interaction" From "Vision in Early Development", Lea Hyvärinen, MD http://www.lea-test.fi/en/assessme/vision.html On hearing impairments: "Every one of our senses plays an important role in early development hearing certainly leads the way. Much of early parent/child bonding has to do with the child’s ability to respond to their parent’s voices by gurling and cooing. One of the main reasons an infant desires to move around and explore the environment is partially because the child hears something that intrigues them or attracts their attention. When a child cries, he or she can hear their parents coming to comfort them. The ability of a child having full use of his or her auditory capacity is seriously linked with early development . However, when the sense is not in full operation everything is affected. It is extremely important for early identification of hearing loss simply because the first three years are the most important for speech and language acquisition. Skills that may be gained in early intervention cannot be made as quickly when a child is older. The main motive for early identification of hearing impairment in infants speaks about the consequences of hearing impairment on speech and language acquisition, academic achievement and social development. Limiting these harsh consequences is the main principle of early identification. Communication difficulties can affect a child’s relationships with others. When hearing loss is present, the social development of the child is greatly affected. To better deal with possible rejection from peers, children with hearing disabilities should first be exposed to early intervention methods. The feeling of isolation, feeling lonely without friends and being unhappy in school, during social hour with normal students is a feeling reported by many children with serious hearing loss (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). However, these social problems are more prominent with children who suffer from a mild form of hearing impairments. Children with hearing impairment cannot speak or pronounce certain letters, thus making speech to be difficult. Not having the capability to speak clearly makes it difficult for a child with hearing loss to adapt any type of a social life. Usually children with hearing loss do not have the ability of hearing their own voices when they talk, causing them to speak too loud or not loud enough (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). Because they have high-pitched voices it may seem like they are mumbling resulting in rejection from their peers (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). " "Exceptional Children, by Mimi Fikre http://www.frostburg.edu/dept/psyc/m...irment_mf.html Some more interesting articles on the subject: Born Too Soon, by Amy E. Tracy http://www.preemieparents.com/articles/borntoosoon.htm "Care of the Premature Infant", AAFP: http://www.aafp.org/afp/980501ap/trachten.html An article on father-newborn bonding: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp "Human Attachment and Bonding", by Lynn M. Johnson http://babyparenting.about.com/libra...y/aa081099.htm "Parents of preemies" http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/dy...ies%2Ftoc.html "The Importance of the In-Arms Phase", by Jean Liedloff http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html "Bonding with your newborn", from theparentreport.com: http://www.theparentreport.com/resou...y_life/64.html "Bonding and attachment, when it goes awry", from the Washington Parent Magazine: http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...12/bonding.htm "MOTHER-INFANT BONDING", A Scientific Fiction by Diane E. Eyer http://citd.scar.utoronto.ca/ANTB25/...ings/Eyer.html Hope this answers your question, Kind regards, rhansenne-ga. Search terms used: "bonding" "infant" "newborn" "parent" "premature" "vision" "hearing" "impairment" Request for Answer Clarification by jolly-ga on 29 Jun 2002 04:30 PDT Great information and resources ! One futher request. Important factors that interfere with the development of appropriate bonding.Example would be drug addicted mother.Inability to accept child with disabilities. I need research references on this. This is for Master's in early childhood education comprehensive exam question. Thanks again! I can't believe how fast you got the infor.-jolly Clarification of Answer by rhansenne-ga on 29 Jun 2002 08:52 PDT Hi again jolly, Here are some factors that may interfere with the bonding process between infant/child and parent: ILLNESS, ADOPTION, TWINS/TRIPLETS/...: "Normal hospital events can interfere with bonding by causing separation. Many procedures which are designed to decrease perinatal health risks have increased bonding risks. For example, bonding can be jeopardized when a child is separated because of illness, when placed in an intensive care nursery, when placed in an incubator, or when the mother is anesthetized at delivery. In addition, there are other circumstances which may reduce the possibility of bonding: when the infant is a twin or triplet, when the mother is sick, when the child is adopted." DIVORCE, MARITAL PROBLEMS, GRIEF FOR A DEATH/MISCARRIAGE, FEAR: "From these and related studies, the negative consequences of physical separation at or near birth for both mother and child seem well established. In addition to physical separation, humans have a capacity to become emotionally separated. They suggested that a mother's ability to bond with her child can be impeded if she is experiencing a competing emotion. Such an emotion must be so intense that it could block out the bonding emotions. Such emotions include grief: grief for the death or loss of someone close, grief following a miscarriage, or the shock of a divorce or separation." "Other competing emotions include intense fear, the severe depression, and extreme marital problems. In addition, in our clinical practice, we have seen addiction act as a competing emotion: it is though the mother is powerfully bonded to the drug and hence unavailable to her infant. And almost invariably, when a mother states that she has never wanted the child, there is an emotional barrier present and bonding is unlikely to have occurred." MOTHER'S BACKGROUND/HER OWN BONDING AS A CHILD: "Klaus and Kennell state that other variables may well contribute to bonding failures, including the mother's background and her own birth and bonding, as well as other unknown environmental factors. We have observed, however, as did Klaus and Kennell, that although these variables may contribute, the factors most highly correlated with bonding failures are physical and emotional separation." Above excerpts come from "Maternal-Infant Bonding and Asthma", by Antonio Madrid, Ph.D, and Dale Pennington, Ph.D.: http://www.rivershrink.com/study.html MALE DOMINATION (FATHER), IMPEDIMENT OF BREAST FEEDING: "Disruption of the bonding process during the critical period just after delivery, by the absence of the skin intimate contact of the new-born with the mother, by removal of the child from the mother, or by the impediment of breast feeding Disruption of the bonding process by diminishing or suppressing the feelings of the delivery, thus impeding the transformation of the woman into a mother Systematic attacks of the mother-child symbiosis during the breast feeding period, due to jealousy or hate around the mother, of the part of the father, of the part of family or of the part of practitioners, or due to detrimental breeding or educational procedures, or due to male domination attempting to prevent adequate feminine functioning Inaptitude of the mother to accept the bonding process and/or the symbiosis, either by the rejection of the child of by rejection of the mother state (usually unconscious)" http://www.structuralpsy.org/Pages/S...Psychoses.html DISABILITIES/IMPAIRMENTS "When the evidence mounts that a baby or toddler who recently joined the family is in fact impaired, the family undergoes a complex emotional process of internalizing its situation: among the stages experienced will be denial, anxiety, anger and hostility and even depression, until a ripening of the adaptive coping ability occurs. The bonding process that constitutes a kind of 'emotional umbilical cord' between the toddler and his parents is not always possible when the child is impaired, for a number of reasons: First, the impaired child, the one suffering from mental (retardation), motor (C.P.), emotional (PDD), sensory (blindness, deafness, severe regulatory difficulties) or combined handicaps, often tends to be incomprehensibly uncommunicative toward his parents; no smiling, averse to touch or indifference to stimulation - all having a highly disruptive effect on the bonding process. Dysmorphic characteristics and impairment of the toddler’s external appearance affect the parent’s tendency to connect emotionally with his child. Further, there is the added burden of burnout from exhausting daily care and constant coping with community agents who are supposed to provide the family with various treatment options: burnout that leaves insufficient emotional availability for the task of weaving the delicate fabric of the parent-child relationship." http://www.education.gov.il/preschool/english/earl4.htm DEPRESSION: "Untreated depression may interfere with your ability to enjoy your pregnancy. Early bonding with your baby may be hindered which may lead to long term consequences for you and your baby. If illness persists in the postpartum period, this impaired bonding may become chronic. This has long-term consequences for the child in terms of cognitive and behavioural problems in school." http://www.bcrmh.com/disorders/major_depression.htm MEDICAL PROCEDURES, NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS, SEXUAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE: "There are still a variety of individual, contextually ruled conditions that can place a child at risk for developing reactive attachment disorder. They include but are not limited to severe neglect of the infant’s emotional, social, and physical needs, including pathological or inadequate childcare and physical or psychological abandonment by mother; sexual, emotional, or physical abuse; poverty and low quality day care provision; painful or undiagnosed illness or injury; sudden and prolonged separation from the primary care-giver; prenatal abuse including alcohol and/or drug abuse and poor maternal nutrition; young mothers with poor parenting skills; frequent foster-care placements and failed adoptions; premature birth and low birth weight factors; and exposure to environmental toxins and/or trauma . Other factors that interfere with mother-child bonding and may impair a healthy attachment relationship include multiple and inconsistent care-givers; invasive or painful medical procedures, hospitalization, or institutionalizations; and neurological problems" "Children With Reactive Attachment Disorder" http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~gin7755/RAD/wanted.htm DRUGS/ALCOHOL ADDICTION: "Even before a child is born, the building blocks of development are being laid. During the critical nine months the child is within his mother’s womb, he must receive sufficient nutrition and be free of harmful drugs if he is to develop into a healthy baby. Many of the children who hurt were born to mothers addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. These children can be viewed as life’s earliest abuse victims, as their systems fail to develop properly. Many times, these children are primed not to attach to a caregiver. With immature neurological systems, they are often hypersensitive to all stimulation. They don’t like light and may perceive any touch as pain. A child in chronic pain, even with the most loving caregiver, may develop attachment disorder as the pain short-circuits his ability to bond. Sadly, a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or with drug-induced problems is most often tended to by a substance-addicted mother, incapable of providing even basic care. His heightened sensitivity and irritability may set him up for further abuse or neglect from his mother as she attempts to parent a baby who is often fussy and upset. " POSSIBLE RESULTS OF NON-BONDING: "Children whose developmental interruptions have resulted in an attachment disorder may exhibit many, or even all, of the following symptoms: - Superficially engaging and "charming" behavior. - Indiscriminate affection toward strangers. - Lack of affection with parents on their terms (not cuddly). - Little eye contact with parents (on normal terms). - Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter. - Inappropriate demanding and clingy behavior. - Lying about the obvious. - Stealing. - Destructive behavior to self, to others and to material things (accident prone). - Abnormal eating patterns. - No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive). - Lags in learning. - Abnormal speech patterns. - Poor peer relationships. - Lack of cause-and-effect thinking. - Lack of conscience. - Cruelty to animals. - Preoccupation with fire. "The Cycle of Bonding", How it's interrupted by Abuse and Neglect, by Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. and Regina M. Kupecky, L.S.W. http://www.addictionrecov.org/paradi...k_kupecky.html |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the
child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks! "dani" wrote in message news On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 13:11:29 -0700, teachrmama wrote: I am very interested in reading the studies that have found this to be true, Chris. Please post. This should answer your question Teachermama. There are many articles on the net covering the infant-parent bonding process, so I tried to make a compilation of the ones I believe you will find most interesting: "In the first month of life, an infant experiences herself as one with the surrounding environment. The basic developmental task is for an infant to achieve a physiological balance and rhythm. This balance evolves out of numerous completions of the infant bonding cycle and prepares the way for bonding and attachment. From months 2 to 6, an infant’s experience shifts from feeling merged with her environment to feeling "one" with the parent. There now appear a number of signs of an infant’s developing attachment to his primary caretaker: smiling, making eye contact which expands from a few seconds to a few minutes during this period, a preoccupation with the parent’s face and making happy noises. By the sixth month, an attaching infant is showing the full range of emotions, is responsive to parental wooing and initiates wooing exchanges. By 6 or 7 months, an infant has usually begun to experience stranger anxiety. Paradoxically, stranger anxiety testifies to the strength of an infant’s attachment to her parent. It is this attachment that defines everyone else as strangers. Without an attachment, there are no strangers; everyone is of equal emotional importance or unimportance. Behaviorally, this anxiety manifests as distress in the presence of strangers and a checking back in with the parent for reassurance. Over the next two to three months, stranger anxiety intensifies before fading into its successor: separation anxiety. Separation anxiety usually begins at 9 to 10 months, peaks between 12 and 15 months, and can last until somewhere between 24 and 36 months. Separation anxiety emerges from the infant’s growing awareness of separateness from her parent. It is yet further testimony to the strength of the infant’s attachment." Excerpt from "Bonding and attachment, when it goes right", from the Washington Parent Magazine: http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...11/bonding.htm "The regulation of emotion in the brain first occurs during mother-infant mutual gaze dialogues. The regulation and organization of an infant's emotional perceptions continue to develop through ongoing interaction with its mother or primary caregiver. Research has shown that a mother who is pleasantly responsive to the infant through early eye contact is stimulating positive social learning. In contrast, a mother who is not responsive to that early eye contact isn't providing a positive social learning experience and is hindering the human attachment process, which is critical to healthy emotional growth. Similar social learning opportunities occur when an infant attempts to communicate through its cries. Crying may be spurred because the infant is hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or frightened. Often upon waking, an infant will begin to signal to its caregiver with soft whimpering, which eventually accelerates into frantic crying if it receives no response. Sometimes crying is misconstrued as an idealized expression of anger or manipulation. Yet, such distressed crying in a young infant might better be described as a fear response. A fear invoked by the uncomfortable feeling of being soiled, the rumbling of stomach pains, or the vulnerability of being alone in the dark. Crying infants who are unattended have been known to cry desperately for an hour or more until the amygdala eventually shuts down. The infant in turn, learns after repeated episodes that it can not expect comfort and response to its cries, and it may decide its needs are unworthy of attention and nurturing--a decision which may ultimately affect the infant's development of self-worth and connectedness to the world." Please find the full article on "The emotional Infant brain", by Lynn M. Johnson, on this page: http://babyparenting.about.com/libra.../aa040100a.htm Information on premature babies and the bonding process: When a baby is born prematurely, many mothers and fathers worry about the lack of opportunity to have "bonding experiences". While "full term bonding" involves picking out baby bunny wallpaper for the nursery and snuggling with the baby after delivery, "preterm bonding" can involve walls lined with blaring monitors and being afraid to touch the baby for days after delivery. Nevertheless, the tenants of bonding that hold true for full term parents also hold true for preterm parents: Bonding is a process that occurs over time, bonding has peak moments, and bonding is flexible, dynamic and resilient. It is very important for you to remember that bonding is what happens over time as you get to know your baby. You are not missing out on a critical period for bonding when you miss the last part of your pregnancy, or when you can’t hold your slippery newborn against your body. When your baby is in the NICU, you’re not "missing the boat" and if you feel detached, you are not a "bad" parent. While feelings of detachment can look and feel like you don’t care about or feel anything for your baby, in fact, your detachment is an important feature of how you cope with the trauma of premature delivery. There is no way your mind can absorb all that has happened, the vast changes in plans, and the future implications of this turn of events. You need time to adjust to this new reality, time to learn how to navigate your new world, and time to emotionally come to terms with it all. If you find yourself avoiding the NICU and/or your baby, particularly early on, this is a normal and natural reaction to the stress and trauma of having an early, medically compromised baby. Feelings of detachment don’t mean you’re an unfit mother or father. It means you are a new parent adjusting to a new baby and to a different situation than you were prepared for. Bonding during pregnancy doesn’t have to include knitting booties, preparing the nursery, stroking your big belly and childbirth classes. Bonding after birth doesn’t have to include snuggling, feeding, cooing, and smiles. While these activities can be evidence that bonding is occurring, they are not mandatory. You may still not be able to knit, nest, or nuzzle, but by simply wanting what is best for your baby, you are bonding. A lot more on premature babies and bonding can be found on "BONDING IN THE NICU AND BEYOND", Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D. and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. http://www.preemieparentsupport.com/bond.html "The premature infant is often not physically ready to adapt to the world outside of the uterus. Less fat to insulate the body leaves baby less able to keep warm. There may be a lack of immunity to infection and muscular strength necessary to expand the lungs for breathing. The capillary network of the lungs may also be inadequate to provide sufficient exchange of respiratory gases. Therefore, baby is placed in an incubator as soon as possible, and in many cases given oxygen. Until the eighties, the theory was that preemies were better off left undisturbed in the incubator with minimal handling. Needless to say, my mother was kept from touching or holding me. In fact, she wasn't even allowed in the same room with me, but was merely allowed to peer at me through a glass window... When it comes to growth and development of preemies, doctors typically evaluate an infant's progress according to an adjusted age. To calculate this adjusted age, subtract the number of weeks or months between your baby's birthdate and his due date. For example, if your baby is now 5 months old and he was born 2 months early, he has an adjusted age of 3 months. Standard guidelines for accessing growth and development can generally be used after the second year, unless there are extenuating medical circumstances. " From "Preemie Care and Development" from about.com http://babyparenting.miningco.com/li.../aa051001a.htm On the infants senses: "Although newborn vision isn't particularly impressive, it is reassuring to know that the other sense modalities are considerably more advanced. For example, at birth infants will show different patterns and degrees of body movement depending on what touches them (e.g., a puff of air directed at their bellies vs. stroking). Their sense of smell is also reasonably sophisticated; for example, based on the direction they turn their heads, newborns can distinguish between the smell of their mothers from that of a stranger. Finally, their sense of taste is also well developed. Indeed, infants not only prefer sweet solutions over salty or bitter tasting solutions (based on how much they eat) but they also prefer some types of sweets over others (e.g., glucose is preferred over lactose; note, however, that it has not yet been determined if they prefer bitter-sweet chocolate over sweet chocolate!). Although hearing develops somewhat later than these other senses, it is more sophisticated than vision. For example, in work that is now widely known, Anthony DeCasper (University of North Carolina-Greensboro) has demonstrated (based on patterns of sucking behavior) that newborns just a few hours old are able to recognize their mother's voice (but not their father's). The basis for this recognition has been thought to be prenatal experience in hearing the mother's voice. Note, though, that it is not until about 3 months that infants will recognize their mother's face. And, it is likely not until 6 or 7 months that infants begin to think of their mothers as a very special person in their world (Dads also become "special" about this age). Like the newborn's cognitive abilities, the development of social and emotional behaviors have a relatively long incubation period. Although newborns do smile, such smiles are generally more of a reflex than a response to a social situation; social smiling as a rule doesn't occur until 6 to 8 weeks. Similarly, although newborns might be able to tell the difference between a smiling face and a sad face, they have no idea what these faces mean to humans. This latter ability may not begin to develop until closer to the first year of life, and likely undergoes further development over the next 1 to 2 years . Their own production of emotion is also limited; emotions that adults interpret as excitement and/or joy are frequently seen, but more differentiated emotions like "afraid" or "angry" or "sad" develop later in the first year..." The long-term effects of the attachment-relationship: "Interesting differences exist between children who had secure versus anxious attachments. Children with secure early attachments are more likely in later years to: - be better problem-solvers - form friendships and be leaders with peers - be more empathetic and less aggressive - engage their world with confidence - have higher self-esteem - be better at resolving conflict - be more self-reliant and adaptable In contrast, children with anxious attachments are more likely in later years to: - be socially withdrawn from peers - be overly dependent on adults (e.g., teachers) - have lower self-confidence - victimize or be victimized by peers - form fewer friendships - be less emotionally healthy " A lot more research and articles can be found on "Attachment and Bonding", University of Minnesota http://ici2.umn.edu/ceed/publication...attachment.htm On infants with vision and hearing impairments: "In early interaction, bodily contact is central during the earliest weeks but then vision is the most important avenue in communication. A normally sighted infant expresses the joy she or he feels in communication; we understand the infant without any explanations (Figure 1.A). A visually impaired infant may not see enough to copy the smiles of the adult persons and therefore needs enforcement through tactile and auditory information (Figure 1.B). Since the visually impaired infant often has to concentrate on listening and does not have the usual eye contact, the infant is in danger of being thought to be uninterested in interaction. The most important task in the assessment of infants is to find out how much vision there is for visual communication, whether the infant uses central vision and thus has a possibility to have normal eye-contact or uses an extrafoveal area of the retina to look straight ahead and seems to look past when looking at a persons face and how close an adult needs to be to be seen by the infant. Our expectations of the infant's responses are based on interaction with normally sighted infants and therefore it is difficult to accept and understand another type of response as a normal response in the case of visual impairment. The communication situation needs to be explained to the adult persons several times. Video recordings of early interaction are effective in demonstrating to the adult persons that the infant wants to communicate and enjoys interaction. Early interaction of a normally sighted infant and an infant with dual sensory impairment (visual and hearing impairment). A. At the age of three months, visual communication of a normally sighted infant is an effective bonding function; the infant and the adult person understand each other right from the start. A visually impaired infant may not have normal eye contact and may seem to look at the hair of the adult because of eccentric fixation. The infant uses tactile confirmation of auditory communication when lip movements cannot be seen. In such a situation the parents and caretakers need support and training in early interaction" From "Vision in Early Development", Lea Hyvärinen, MD http://www.lea-test.fi/en/assessme/vision.html On hearing impairments: "Every one of our senses plays an important role in early development hearing certainly leads the way. Much of early parent/child bonding has to do with the child’s ability to respond to their parent’s voices by gurling and cooing. One of the main reasons an infant desires to move around and explore the environment is partially because the child hears something that intrigues them or attracts their attention. When a child cries, he or she can hear their parents coming to comfort them. The ability of a child having full use of his or her auditory capacity is seriously linked with early development . However, when the sense is not in full operation everything is affected. It is extremely important for early identification of hearing loss simply because the first three years are the most important for speech and language acquisition. Skills that may be gained in early intervention cannot be made as quickly when a child is older. The main motive for early identification of hearing impairment in infants speaks about the consequences of hearing impairment on speech and language acquisition, academic achievement and social development. Limiting these harsh consequences is the main principle of early identification. Communication difficulties can affect a child’s relationships with others. When hearing loss is present, the social development of the child is greatly affected. To better deal with possible rejection from peers, children with hearing disabilities should first be exposed to early intervention methods. The feeling of isolation, feeling lonely without friends and being unhappy in school, during social hour with normal students is a feeling reported by many children with serious hearing loss (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). However, these social problems are more prominent with children who suffer from a mild form of hearing impairments. Children with hearing impairment cannot speak or pronounce certain letters, thus making speech to be difficult. Not having the capability to speak clearly makes it difficult for a child with hearing loss to adapt any type of a social life. Usually children with hearing loss do not have the ability of hearing their own voices when they talk, causing them to speak too loud or not loud enough (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). Because they have high-pitched voices it may seem like they are mumbling resulting in rejection from their peers (Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). " "Exceptional Children, by Mimi Fikre http://www.frostburg.edu/dept/psyc/m...irment_mf.html Some more interesting articles on the subject: Born Too Soon, by Amy E. Tracy http://www.preemieparents.com/articles/borntoosoon.htm "Care of the Premature Infant", AAFP: http://www.aafp.org/afp/980501ap/trachten.html An article on father-newborn bonding: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp "Human Attachment and Bonding", by Lynn M. Johnson http://babyparenting.about.com/libra...y/aa081099.htm "Parents of preemies" http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/dy...ies%2Ftoc.html "The Importance of the In-Arms Phase", by Jean Liedloff http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html "Bonding with your newborn", from theparentreport.com: http://www.theparentreport.com/resou...y_life/64.html "Bonding and attachment, when it goes awry", from the Washington Parent Magazine: http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...12/bonding.htm "MOTHER-INFANT BONDING", A Scientific Fiction by Diane E. Eyer http://citd.scar.utoronto.ca/ANTB25/...ings/Eyer.html Hope this answers your question, Kind regards, rhansenne-ga. Search terms used: "bonding" "infant" "newborn" "parent" "premature" "vision" "hearing" "impairment" Request for Answer Clarification by jolly-ga on 29 Jun 2002 04:30 PDT Great information and resources ! One futher request. Important factors that interfere with the development of appropriate bonding.Example would be drug addicted mother.Inability to accept child with disabilities. I need research references on this. This is for Master's in early childhood education comprehensive exam question. Thanks again! I can't believe how fast you got the infor.-jolly Clarification of Answer by rhansenne-ga on 29 Jun 2002 08:52 PDT Hi again jolly, Here are some factors that may interfere with the bonding process between infant/child and parent: ILLNESS, ADOPTION, TWINS/TRIPLETS/...: "Normal hospital events can interfere with bonding by causing separation. Many procedures which are designed to decrease perinatal health risks have increased bonding risks. For example, bonding can be jeopardized when a child is separated because of illness, when placed in an intensive care nursery, when placed in an incubator, or when the mother is anesthetized at delivery. In addition, there are other circumstances which may reduce the possibility of bonding: when the infant is a twin or triplet, when the mother is sick, when the child is adopted." DIVORCE, MARITAL PROBLEMS, GRIEF FOR A DEATH/MISCARRIAGE, FEAR: "From these and related studies, the negative consequences of physical separation at or near birth for both mother and child seem well established. In addition to physical separation, humans have a capacity to become emotionally separated. They suggested that a mother's ability to bond with her child can be impeded if she is experiencing a competing emotion. Such an emotion must be so intense that it could block out the bonding emotions. Such emotions include grief: grief for the death or loss of someone close, grief following a miscarriage, or the shock of a divorce or separation." "Other competing emotions include intense fear, the severe depression, and extreme marital problems. In addition, in our clinical practice, we have seen addiction act as a competing emotion: it is though the mother is powerfully bonded to the drug and hence unavailable to her infant. And almost invariably, when a mother states that she has never wanted the child, there is an emotional barrier present and bonding is unlikely to have occurred." MOTHER'S BACKGROUND/HER OWN BONDING AS A CHILD: "Klaus and Kennell state that other variables may well contribute to bonding failures, including the mother's background and her own birth and bonding, as well as other unknown environmental factors. We have observed, however, as did Klaus and Kennell, that although these variables may contribute, the factors most highly correlated with bonding failures are physical and emotional separation." Above excerpts come from "Maternal-Infant Bonding and Asthma", by Antonio Madrid, Ph.D, and Dale Pennington, Ph.D.: http://www.rivershrink.com/study.html MALE DOMINATION (FATHER), IMPEDIMENT OF BREAST FEEDING: "Disruption of the bonding process during the critical period just after delivery, by the absence of the skin intimate contact of the new-born with the mother, by removal of the child from the mother, or by the impediment of breast feeding Disruption of the bonding process by diminishing or suppressing the feelings of the delivery, thus impeding the transformation of the woman into a mother Systematic attacks of the mother-child symbiosis during the breast feeding period, due to jealousy or hate around the mother, of the part of the father, of the part of family or of the part of practitioners, or due to detrimental breeding or educational procedures, or due to male domination attempting to prevent adequate feminine functioning Inaptitude of the mother to accept the bonding process and/or the symbiosis, either by the rejection of the child of by rejection of the mother state (usually unconscious)" http://www.structuralpsy.org/Pages/S...Psychoses.html DISABILITIES/IMPAIRMENTS "When the evidence mounts that a baby or toddler who recently joined the family is in fact impaired, the family undergoes a complex emotional process of internalizing its situation: among the stages experienced will be denial, anxiety, anger and hostility and even depression, until a ripening of the adaptive coping ability occurs. The bonding process that constitutes a kind of 'emotional umbilical cord' between the toddler and his parents is not always possible when the child is impaired, for a number of reasons: First, the impaired child, the one suffering from mental (retardation), motor (C.P.), emotional (PDD), sensory (blindness, deafness, severe regulatory difficulties) or combined handicaps, often tends to be incomprehensibly uncommunicative toward his parents; no smiling, averse to touch or indifference to stimulation - all having a highly disruptive effect on the bonding process. Dysmorphic characteristics and impairment of the toddler’s external appearance affect the parent’s tendency to connect emotionally with his child. Further, there is the added burden of burnout from exhausting daily care and constant coping with community agents who are supposed to provide the family with various treatment options: burnout that leaves insufficient emotional availability for the task of weaving the delicate fabric of the parent-child relationship." http://www.education.gov.il/preschool/english/earl4.htm DEPRESSION: "Untreated depression may interfere with your ability to enjoy your pregnancy. Early bonding with your baby may be hindered which may lead to long term consequences for you and your baby. If illness persists in the postpartum period, this impaired bonding may become chronic. This has long-term consequences for the child in terms of cognitive and behavioural problems in school." http://www.bcrmh.com/disorders/major_depression.htm MEDICAL PROCEDURES, NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS, SEXUAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE: "There are still a variety of individual, contextually ruled conditions that can place a child at risk for developing reactive attachment disorder. They include but are not limited to severe neglect of the infant’s emotional, social, and physical needs, including pathological or inadequate childcare and physical or psychological abandonment by mother; sexual, emotional, or physical abuse; poverty and low quality day care provision; painful or undiagnosed illness or injury; sudden and prolonged separation from the primary care-giver; prenatal abuse including alcohol and/or drug abuse and poor maternal nutrition; young mothers with poor parenting skills; frequent foster-care placements and failed adoptions; premature birth and low birth weight factors; and exposure to environmental toxins and/or trauma . Other factors that interfere with mother-child bonding and may impair a healthy attachment relationship include multiple and inconsistent care-givers; invasive or painful medical procedures, hospitalization, or institutionalizations; and neurological problems" "Children With Reactive Attachment Disorder" http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~gin7755/RAD/wanted.htm DRUGS/ALCOHOL ADDICTION: "Even before a child is born, the building blocks of development are being laid. During the critical nine months the child is within his mother’s womb, he must receive sufficient nutrition and be free of harmful drugs if he is to develop into a healthy baby. Many of the children who hurt were born to mothers addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. These children can be viewed as life’s earliest abuse victims, as their systems fail to develop properly. Many times, these children are primed not to attach to a caregiver. With immature neurological systems, they are often hypersensitive to all stimulation. They don’t like light and may perceive any touch as pain. A child in chronic pain, even with the most loving caregiver, may develop attachment disorder as the pain short-circuits his ability to bond. Sadly, a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or with drug-induced problems is most often tended to by a substance-addicted mother, incapable of providing even basic care. His heightened sensitivity and irritability may set him up for further abuse or neglect from his mother as she attempts to parent a baby who is often fussy and upset. " POSSIBLE RESULTS OF NON-BONDING: "Children whose developmental interruptions have resulted in an attachment disorder may exhibit many, or even all, of the following symptoms: - Superficially engaging and "charming" behavior. - Indiscriminate affection toward strangers. - Lack of affection with parents on their terms (not cuddly). - Little eye contact with parents (on normal terms). - Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter. - Inappropriate demanding and clingy behavior. - Lying about the obvious. - Stealing. - Destructive behavior to self, to others and to material things (accident prone). - Abnormal eating patterns. - No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive). - Lags in learning. - Abnormal speech patterns. - Poor peer relationships. - Lack of cause-and-effect thinking. - Lack of conscience. - Cruelty to animals. - Preoccupation with fire. "The Cycle of Bonding", How it's interrupted by Abuse and Neglect, by Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. and Regina M. Kupecky, L.S.W. http://www.addictionrecov.org/paradi...k_kupecky.html |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
On Tue, 02 Sep 2003 21:57:17 -0700, teachrmama wrote:
It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks! Your quite welcome! |
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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents
On Tue, 02 Sep 2003 21:57:17 -0700, teachrmama wrote:
It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks! Your quite welcome! |
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