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CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents



 
 
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  #21  
Old September 2nd 03, 10:55 PM
Clave
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Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84...

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84...


...

Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet?


Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly types,


I didn't think you had the stones.


that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think you'll
get laid....NOT.


I'm sure that will come as news to my wife.

Cheers,
Jim


  #22  
Old September 3rd 03, 03:14 AM
...8MM..
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents


"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84...

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84...


...

Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet?


Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly

types,

I didn't think you had the stones.


go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada



that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think

you'll
get laid....NOT.


I'm sure that will come as news to my wife.

Cheers,
Jim




  #23  
Old September 3rd 03, 03:14 AM
...8MM..
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents


"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84...

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84...


...

Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet?


Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist manly

types,

I didn't think you had the stones.


go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada



that helps the feminiazi with their bull****, only because you think

you'll
get laid....NOT.


I'm sure that will come as news to my wife.

Cheers,
Jim




  #24  
Old September 3rd 03, 03:18 AM
Clave
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

"...8MM.." wrote in message
news

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84...

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84...


...

Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet?

Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist
manly types,


I didn't think you had the stones.


go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada



Uh, no.

I want you to tell me what *you* think is feminist propaganda, not point to what
other people have thought for you.

Synopsize it for me. If you can, I mean. Pardon me while I don't hold my
breath.

Ta,
Jim


  #25  
Old September 3rd 03, 03:18 AM
Clave
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

"...8MM.." wrote in message
news

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:We85b.132591$K44.73684@edtnps84...

"Clave" wrote in message
...
"...8MM.." wrote in message
news:bbV4b.128552$K44.67096@edtnps84...


...

Are you ready to talk about feminist "propaganda" yet?

Why, you don't care anyhow, as your just one of those feminist
manly types,


I didn't think you had the stones.


go read the website you idiot called Fathers Canada



Uh, no.

I want you to tell me what *you* think is feminist propaganda, not point to what
other people have thought for you.

Synopsize it for me. If you can, I mean. Pardon me while I don't hold my
breath.

Ta,
Jim


  #26  
Old September 3rd 03, 05:57 AM
teachrmama
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Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the
child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks!

"dani" wrote in message
news
On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 13:11:29 -0700, teachrmama wrote:




I am very interested in reading the studies that have found this to be
true, Chris. Please post.


This should answer your question Teachermama.

There are many articles on the net covering the infant-parent bonding
process, so I tried to make a compilation of the ones I believe you will
find most interesting:

"In the first month of life, an infant experiences herself as one with the
surrounding environment. The basic developmental task is for an infant to
achieve a physiological balance and rhythm. This balance evolves out of
numerous completions of the infant bonding cycle and prepares the way for
bonding and attachment.

From months 2 to 6, an infant’s experience shifts from feeling merged
with her environment to feeling "one" with the parent. There now appear a
number of signs of an infant’s developing attachment to his primary
caretaker: smiling, making eye contact which expands from a few seconds to
a few minutes during this period, a preoccupation with the parent’s face
and making happy noises. By the sixth month, an attaching infant is
showing the full range of emotions, is responsive to parental wooing and
initiates wooing exchanges.

By 6 or 7 months, an infant has usually begun to experience stranger
anxiety. Paradoxically, stranger anxiety testifies to the strength of an
infant’s attachment to her parent. It is this attachment that defines
everyone else as strangers. Without an attachment, there are no strangers;
everyone is of equal emotional importance or unimportance. Behaviorally,
this anxiety manifests as distress in the presence of strangers and a
checking back in with the parent for reassurance. Over the next two to
three months, stranger anxiety intensifies before fading into its
successor: separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety usually begins at 9 to 10 months, peaks between 12 and
15 months, and can last until somewhere between 24 and 36 months.
Separation anxiety emerges from the infant’s growing awareness of
separateness from her parent. It is yet further testimony to the strength
of the infant’s attachment."

Excerpt from "Bonding and attachment, when it goes right", from the
Washington Parent Magazine:
http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...11/bonding.htm



"The regulation of emotion in the brain first occurs during mother-infant
mutual gaze dialogues. The regulation and organization of an infant's
emotional perceptions continue to develop through ongoing interaction with
its mother or primary caregiver.

Research has shown that a mother who is pleasantly responsive to the
infant through early eye contact is stimulating positive social learning.
In contrast, a mother who is not responsive to that early eye contact
isn't providing a positive social learning experience and is hindering the
human attachment process, which is critical to healthy emotional growth.

Similar social learning opportunities occur when an infant attempts to
communicate through its cries. Crying may be spurred because the infant is
hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or frightened. Often upon waking, an infant
will begin to signal to its caregiver with soft whimpering, which
eventually accelerates into frantic crying if it receives no response.

Sometimes crying is misconstrued as an idealized expression of anger or
manipulation. Yet, such distressed crying in a young infant might better
be described as a fear response. A fear invoked by the uncomfortable
feeling of being soiled, the rumbling of stomach pains, or the
vulnerability of being alone in the dark.

Crying infants who are unattended have been known to cry desperately for
an hour or more until the amygdala eventually shuts down. The infant in
turn, learns after repeated episodes that it can not expect comfort and
response to its cries, and it may decide its needs are unworthy of
attention and nurturing--a decision which may ultimately affect the
infant's development of self-worth and connectedness to the world."

Please find the full article on "The emotional Infant brain", by Lynn M.
Johnson, on this page:

http://babyparenting.about.com/libra.../aa040100a.htm



Information on premature babies and the bonding process:

When a baby is born prematurely, many mothers and fathers worry about the
lack of opportunity to have "bonding experiences".

While "full term bonding" involves picking out baby bunny wallpaper for
the nursery and snuggling with the baby after delivery, "preterm bonding"
can involve walls lined with blaring monitors and being afraid to touch
the baby for days after delivery. Nevertheless, the tenants of bonding
that hold true for full term parents also hold true for preterm parents:
Bonding is a process that occurs over time, bonding has peak moments, and
bonding is flexible, dynamic and resilient.

It is very important for you to remember that bonding is what happens over
time as you get to know your baby. You are not missing out on a critical
period for bonding when you miss the last part of your pregnancy, or when
you can’t hold your slippery newborn against your body. When your baby
is in the NICU, you’re not "missing the boat" and if you feel detached,
you are not a "bad" parent. While feelings of detachment can look and feel
like you don’t care about or feel anything for your baby, in fact, your
detachment is an important feature of how you cope with the trauma of
premature delivery. There is no way your mind can absorb all that has
happened, the vast changes in plans, and the future implications of this
turn of events. You need time to adjust to this new reality, time to learn
how to navigate your new world, and time to emotionally come to terms with
it all. If you find yourself avoiding the NICU and/or your baby,
particularly early on, this is a normal and natural reaction to the stress
and trauma of having an early, medically compromised baby. Feelings of
detachment don’t mean you’re an unfit mother or father. It means you
are a new parent adjusting to a new baby and to a different situation than
you were prepared for.

Bonding during pregnancy doesn’t have to include knitting booties,
preparing the nursery, stroking your big belly and childbirth classes.
Bonding after birth doesn’t have to include snuggling, feeding, cooing,
and smiles. While these activities can be evidence that bonding is
occurring, they are not mandatory. You may still not be able to knit,
nest, or nuzzle, but by simply wanting what is best for your baby, you are
bonding.

A lot more on premature babies and bonding can be found on "BONDING IN THE
NICU AND BEYOND", Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D. and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.
http://www.preemieparentsupport.com/bond.html



"The premature infant is often not physically ready to adapt to the world
outside of the uterus. Less fat to insulate the body leaves baby less able
to keep warm. There may be a lack of immunity to infection and muscular
strength necessary to expand the lungs for breathing. The capillary
network of the lungs may also be inadequate to provide sufficient exchange
of respiratory gases. Therefore, baby is placed in an incubator as soon as
possible, and in many cases given oxygen.

Until the eighties, the theory was that preemies were better off left
undisturbed in the incubator with minimal handling. Needless to say, my
mother was kept from touching or holding me. In fact, she wasn't even
allowed in the same room with me, but was merely allowed to peer at me
through a glass window...

When it comes to growth and development of preemies, doctors typically
evaluate an infant's progress according to an adjusted age. To calculate
this adjusted age, subtract the number of weeks or months between your
baby's birthdate and his due date. For example, if your baby is now 5
months old and he was born 2 months early, he has an adjusted age of 3
months. Standard guidelines for accessing growth and development can
generally be used after the second year, unless there are extenuating
medical circumstances. "

From "Preemie Care and Development" from about.com
http://babyparenting.miningco.com/li.../aa051001a.htm


On the infants senses:

"Although newborn vision isn't particularly impressive, it is reassuring
to know that the other sense modalities are considerably more advanced.
For example, at birth infants will show different patterns and degrees of
body movement depending on what touches them (e.g., a puff of air directed
at their bellies vs. stroking). Their sense of smell is also reasonably
sophisticated; for example, based on the direction they turn their heads,
newborns can distinguish between the smell of their mothers from that of a
stranger. Finally, their sense of taste is also well developed. Indeed,
infants not only prefer sweet solutions over salty or bitter tasting
solutions (based on how much they eat) but they also prefer some types of
sweets over others (e.g., glucose is preferred over lactose; note,
however, that it has not yet been determined if they prefer bitter-sweet
chocolate over sweet chocolate!).

Although hearing develops somewhat later than these other senses, it is
more sophisticated than vision. For example, in work that is now widely
known, Anthony DeCasper (University of North Carolina-Greensboro) has
demonstrated (based on patterns of sucking behavior) that newborns just a
few hours old are able to recognize their mother's voice (but not their
father's). The basis for this recognition has been thought to be prenatal
experience in hearing the mother's voice. Note, though, that it is not
until about 3 months that infants will recognize their mother's face. And,
it is likely not until 6 or 7 months that infants begin to think of their
mothers as a very special person in their world (Dads also become
"special" about this age).

Like the newborn's cognitive abilities, the development of social and
emotional behaviors have a relatively long incubation period. Although
newborns do smile, such smiles are generally more of a reflex than a
response to a social situation; social smiling as a rule doesn't occur
until 6 to 8 weeks. Similarly, although newborns might be able to tell the
difference between a smiling face and a sad face, they have no idea what
these faces mean to humans. This latter ability may not begin to develop
until closer to the first year of life, and likely undergoes further
development over the next 1 to 2 years . Their own production of emotion
is also limited; emotions that adults interpret as excitement and/or joy
are frequently seen, but more differentiated emotions like "afraid" or
"angry" or "sad" develop later in the first year..."

The long-term effects of the attachment-relationship:

"Interesting differences exist between children who had secure versus
anxious attachments. Children with secure early attachments are more
likely in later years to:

- be better problem-solvers
- form friendships and be leaders with peers - be more empathetic and less
aggressive - engage their world with confidence - have higher self-esteem
- be better at resolving conflict
- be more self-reliant and adaptable

In contrast, children with anxious attachments are more likely in later
years to:

- be socially withdrawn from peers
- be overly dependent on adults (e.g., teachers) - have lower
self-confidence
- victimize or be victimized by peers - form fewer friendships - be less
emotionally healthy "

A lot more research and articles can be found on "Attachment and Bonding",
University of Minnesota
http://ici2.umn.edu/ceed/publication...attachment.htm


On infants with vision and hearing impairments:

"In early interaction, bodily contact is central during the earliest weeks
but then vision is the most important avenue in communication. A normally
sighted infant expresses the joy she or he feels in communication; we
understand the infant without any explanations (Figure 1.A). A visually
impaired infant may not see enough to copy the smiles of the adult persons
and therefore needs enforcement through tactile and auditory information
(Figure 1.B). Since the visually impaired infant often has to concentrate
on listening and does not have the usual eye contact, the infant is in
danger of being thought to be uninterested in interaction.

The most important task in the assessment of infants is to find out how
much vision there is for visual communication, whether the infant uses
central vision and thus has a possibility to have normal eye-contact or
uses an extrafoveal area of the retina to look straight ahead and seems to
look past when looking at a persons face and how close an adult needs to
be to be seen by the infant.

Our expectations of the infant's responses are based on interaction with
normally sighted infants and therefore it is difficult to accept and
understand another type of response as a normal response in the case of
visual impairment. The communication situation needs to be explained to
the adult persons several times. Video recordings of early interaction are
effective in demonstrating to the adult persons that the infant wants to
communicate and enjoys interaction.


Early interaction of a normally sighted infant and an infant with dual
sensory impairment (visual and hearing impairment). A. At the age of three
months, visual communication of a normally sighted infant is an effective
bonding function; the infant and the adult person understand each other
right from the start. A visually impaired infant may not have normal eye
contact and may seem to look at the hair of the adult because of eccentric
fixation. The infant uses tactile confirmation of auditory communication
when lip movements cannot be seen. In such a situation the parents and
caretakers need support and training in early interaction"

From "Vision in Early Development", Lea Hyvärinen, MD
http://www.lea-test.fi/en/assessme/vision.html



On hearing impairments:

"Every one of our senses plays an important role in early development
hearing certainly leads the way. Much of early parent/child bonding has
to do with the child’s ability to respond to their parent’s voices by
gurling and cooing. One of the main reasons an infant desires to move
around and explore the environment is partially because the child hears
something that intrigues them or attracts their attention. When a child
cries, he or she can hear their parents coming to comfort them. The
ability of a child having full use of his or her auditory capacity is
seriously linked with early development . However, when the sense is not
in full operation everything is affected. It is extremely important for
early identification of hearing loss simply because the first three years
are the most important for speech and language acquisition. Skills that
may be gained in early intervention cannot be made as quickly when a child
is older. The main motive for early identification of hearing impairment
in infants speaks about the consequences of hearing impairment on speech
and language acquisition, academic achievement and social development.
Limiting these harsh consequences is the main principle of early
identification.

Communication difficulties can affect a child’s relationships with
others. When hearing loss is present, the social development of the child
is greatly affected. To better deal with possible rejection from peers,
children with hearing disabilities should first be exposed to early
intervention methods. The feeling of isolation, feeling lonely without
friends and being unhappy in school, during social hour with normal
students is a feeling reported by many children with serious hearing loss
(Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). However, these social problems are more
prominent with children who suffer from a mild form of hearing
impairments. Children with hearing impairment cannot speak or pronounce
certain letters, thus making speech to be difficult. Not having the
capability to speak clearly makes it difficult for a child with hearing
loss to adapt any type of a social life. Usually children with hearing
loss do not have the ability of hearing their own voices when they talk,
causing them to speak too loud or not loud enough (Effects of Hearing
Loss, 1997). Because they have high-pitched voices it may seem like they
are mumbling resulting in rejection from their peers (Effects of Hearing
Loss, 1997). "

"Exceptional Children, by Mimi Fikre
http://www.frostburg.edu/dept/psyc/m...irment_mf.html


Some more interesting articles on the subject:

Born Too Soon, by Amy E. Tracy
http://www.preemieparents.com/articles/borntoosoon.htm

"Care of the Premature Infant", AAFP:
http://www.aafp.org/afp/980501ap/trachten.html

An article on father-newborn bonding:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp "Human Attachment and
Bonding", by Lynn M. Johnson
http://babyparenting.about.com/libra...y/aa081099.htm

"Parents of preemies"

http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/dy...ies%2Ftoc.html

"The Importance of the In-Arms Phase", by Jean Liedloff
http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html

"Bonding with your newborn", from theparentreport.com:
http://www.theparentreport.com/resou...y_life/64.html

"Bonding and attachment, when it goes awry", from the Washington Parent
Magazine:
http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...12/bonding.htm

"MOTHER-INFANT BONDING", A Scientific Fiction by Diane E. Eyer
http://citd.scar.utoronto.ca/ANTB25/...ings/Eyer.html

Hope this answers your question,

Kind regards,

rhansenne-ga.

Search terms used:

"bonding" "infant" "newborn" "parent" "premature" "vision" "hearing"
"impairment"

Request for Answer Clarification by jolly-ga on 29 Jun 2002 04:30 PDT

Great information and resources ! One futher request. Important factors
that interfere with the development of appropriate bonding.Example would
be drug addicted mother.Inability to accept child with disabilities. I
need research references on this. This is for Master's in early childhood
education comprehensive exam question. Thanks again! I can't believe how
fast you got the infor.-jolly

Clarification of Answer by rhansenne-ga on 29 Jun 2002 08:52 PDT

Hi again jolly,

Here are some factors that may interfere with the bonding process between
infant/child and parent:


ILLNESS, ADOPTION, TWINS/TRIPLETS/...:

"Normal hospital events can interfere with bonding by causing separation.
Many procedures which are designed to decrease

perinatal health risks have increased bonding risks. For example, bonding
can be jeopardized when a child is separated

because of illness, when placed in an intensive care nursery, when placed
in an incubator, or when the mother is anesthetized

at delivery. In addition, there are other circumstances which may reduce
the possibility of bonding: when the infant is a

twin or triplet, when the mother is sick, when the child is adopted."


DIVORCE, MARITAL PROBLEMS, GRIEF FOR A DEATH/MISCARRIAGE, FEAR:

"From these and related studies, the negative consequences of physical
separation at or near birth for both mother and child

seem well established. In addition to physical separation, humans have a
capacity to become emotionally separated. They

suggested that a mother's ability to bond with her child can be impeded if
she is experiencing a competing emotion. Such an

emotion must be so intense that it could block out the bonding emotions.
Such emotions include grief: grief for the death or

loss of someone close, grief following a miscarriage, or the shock of a
divorce or separation."

"Other competing emotions include intense fear, the severe depression, and
extreme marital problems. In addition, in our

clinical practice, we have seen addiction act as a competing emotion: it
is though the mother is powerfully bonded to the

drug and hence unavailable to her infant. And almost invariably, when a
mother states that she has never wanted the child,

there is an emotional barrier present and bonding is unlikely to have
occurred."


MOTHER'S BACKGROUND/HER OWN BONDING AS A CHILD:

"Klaus and Kennell state that other variables may well contribute to
bonding failures, including the mother's background and

her own birth and bonding, as well as other unknown environmental factors.
We have observed, however, as did Klaus and

Kennell, that although these variables may contribute, the factors most
highly correlated with bonding failures are physical

and emotional separation."

Above excerpts come from "Maternal-Infant Bonding and Asthma", by Antonio
Madrid, Ph.D, and Dale Pennington, Ph.D.:
http://www.rivershrink.com/study.html


MALE DOMINATION (FATHER), IMPEDIMENT OF BREAST FEEDING:

"Disruption of the bonding process during the critical period just after
delivery, by the absence of the skin intimate

contact of the new-born with the mother, by removal of the child from the
mother, or by the impediment of breast feeding

Disruption of the bonding process by diminishing or suppressing the
feelings of the delivery, thus impeding the

transformation of the woman into a mother

Systematic attacks of the mother-child symbiosis during the breast feeding
period, due to jealousy or hate around the mother,

of the part of the father, of the part of family or of the part of
practitioners, or due to detrimental breeding or

educational procedures, or due to male domination attempting to prevent
adequate feminine functioning

Inaptitude of the mother to accept the bonding process and/or the
symbiosis, either by the rejection of the child of by

rejection of the mother state (usually unconscious)"
http://www.structuralpsy.org/Pages/S...Psychoses.html


DISABILITIES/IMPAIRMENTS

"When the evidence mounts that a baby or toddler who recently joined the
family is in fact impaired, the family undergoes a complex emotional
process of internalizing its situation: among the stages experienced will
be denial, anxiety, anger and hostility and even depression, until a
ripening of the adaptive coping ability occurs. The bonding process that
constitutes a kind of 'emotional umbilical cord' between the toddler and
his parents is not always possible when the child is impaired, for a
number of reasons: First, the impaired child, the one suffering from
mental (retardation), motor (C.P.), emotional (PDD), sensory (blindness,
deafness, severe regulatory difficulties) or combined handicaps, often
tends to be incomprehensibly uncommunicative toward his parents; no
smiling, averse to touch or indifference to stimulation - all having a
highly disruptive effect on the bonding process. Dysmorphic
characteristics and impairment of the toddler’s external appearance
affect the parent’s tendency to connect emotionally with his child.
Further, there is the added burden of burnout from exhausting daily care
and constant coping with community agents who are supposed to provide the
family with various treatment options: burnout that leaves insufficient
emotional availability for the task of weaving the delicate fabric of the
parent-child relationship."
http://www.education.gov.il/preschool/english/earl4.htm


DEPRESSION:

"Untreated depression may interfere with your ability to enjoy your
pregnancy. Early bonding with your baby may be hindered

which may lead to long term consequences for you and your baby. If illness
persists in the postpartum period, this impaired

bonding may become chronic. This has long-term consequences for the child
in terms of cognitive and behavioural problems in

school."
http://www.bcrmh.com/disorders/major_depression.htm


MEDICAL PROCEDURES, NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS, SEXUAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE:

"There are still a variety of individual, contextually ruled conditions
that can place a child at risk for developing

reactive attachment disorder. They include but are not limited to severe
neglect of the infant’s emotional, social, and

physical needs, including pathological or inadequate childcare and
physical or psychological abandonment by mother; sexual,

emotional, or physical abuse; poverty and low quality day care provision;
painful or undiagnosed illness or injury; sudden

and prolonged separation from the primary care-giver; prenatal abuse
including alcohol and/or drug abuse and poor maternal

nutrition; young mothers with poor parenting skills; frequent foster-care
placements and failed adoptions; premature birth

and low birth weight factors; and exposure to environmental toxins and/or
trauma . Other factors that interfere with

mother-child bonding and may impair a healthy attachment relationship
include multiple and inconsistent care-givers; invasive or painful medical
procedures, hospitalization, or institutionalizations; and neurological
problems"

"Children With Reactive Attachment Disorder"
http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~gin7755/RAD/wanted.htm


DRUGS/ALCOHOL ADDICTION:

"Even before a child is born, the building blocks of development are being
laid. During the critical nine months the child is

within his mother’s womb, he must receive sufficient nutrition and be
free of harmful drugs if he is to develop into a

healthy baby. Many of the children who hurt were born to mothers addicted
to drugs and/or alcohol. These children can be

viewed as life’s earliest abuse victims, as their systems fail to
develop properly. Many times, these children are primed not

to attach to a caregiver. With immature neurological systems, they are
often hypersensitive to all stimulation. They don’t

like light and may perceive any touch as pain. A child in chronic pain,
even with the most loving caregiver, may develop

attachment disorder as the pain short-circuits his ability to bond.

Sadly, a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or with drug-induced
problems is most often tended to by a substance-addicted

mother, incapable of providing even basic care. His heightened sensitivity
and irritability may set him up for further abuse

or neglect from his mother as she attempts to parent a baby who is often
fussy and upset. "


POSSIBLE RESULTS OF NON-BONDING:

"Children whose developmental interruptions have resulted in an attachment
disorder may exhibit many, or even all, of the

following symptoms:

- Superficially engaging and "charming" behavior. - Indiscriminate
affection toward strangers. - Lack of affection with parents on their
terms (not cuddly). - Little eye contact with parents (on normal terms). -
Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter. - Inappropriate
demanding and clingy behavior. - Lying about the obvious. - Stealing. -
Destructive behavior to self, to others and to material things (accident
prone).
- Abnormal eating patterns.
- No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive). - Lags in learning. -
Abnormal speech patterns.
- Poor peer relationships.
- Lack of cause-and-effect thinking.
- Lack of conscience.
- Cruelty to animals.
- Preoccupation with fire.

"The Cycle of Bonding", How it's interrupted by Abuse and Neglect, by
Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. and Regina M. Kupecky, L.S.W.
http://www.addictionrecov.org/paradi...k_kupecky.html



  #27  
Old September 3rd 03, 05:57 AM
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until the
child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani. Thanks!

"dani" wrote in message
news
On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 13:11:29 -0700, teachrmama wrote:




I am very interested in reading the studies that have found this to be
true, Chris. Please post.


This should answer your question Teachermama.

There are many articles on the net covering the infant-parent bonding
process, so I tried to make a compilation of the ones I believe you will
find most interesting:

"In the first month of life, an infant experiences herself as one with the
surrounding environment. The basic developmental task is for an infant to
achieve a physiological balance and rhythm. This balance evolves out of
numerous completions of the infant bonding cycle and prepares the way for
bonding and attachment.

From months 2 to 6, an infant’s experience shifts from feeling merged
with her environment to feeling "one" with the parent. There now appear a
number of signs of an infant’s developing attachment to his primary
caretaker: smiling, making eye contact which expands from a few seconds to
a few minutes during this period, a preoccupation with the parent’s face
and making happy noises. By the sixth month, an attaching infant is
showing the full range of emotions, is responsive to parental wooing and
initiates wooing exchanges.

By 6 or 7 months, an infant has usually begun to experience stranger
anxiety. Paradoxically, stranger anxiety testifies to the strength of an
infant’s attachment to her parent. It is this attachment that defines
everyone else as strangers. Without an attachment, there are no strangers;
everyone is of equal emotional importance or unimportance. Behaviorally,
this anxiety manifests as distress in the presence of strangers and a
checking back in with the parent for reassurance. Over the next two to
three months, stranger anxiety intensifies before fading into its
successor: separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety usually begins at 9 to 10 months, peaks between 12 and
15 months, and can last until somewhere between 24 and 36 months.
Separation anxiety emerges from the infant’s growing awareness of
separateness from her parent. It is yet further testimony to the strength
of the infant’s attachment."

Excerpt from "Bonding and attachment, when it goes right", from the
Washington Parent Magazine:
http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...11/bonding.htm



"The regulation of emotion in the brain first occurs during mother-infant
mutual gaze dialogues. The regulation and organization of an infant's
emotional perceptions continue to develop through ongoing interaction with
its mother or primary caregiver.

Research has shown that a mother who is pleasantly responsive to the
infant through early eye contact is stimulating positive social learning.
In contrast, a mother who is not responsive to that early eye contact
isn't providing a positive social learning experience and is hindering the
human attachment process, which is critical to healthy emotional growth.

Similar social learning opportunities occur when an infant attempts to
communicate through its cries. Crying may be spurred because the infant is
hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or frightened. Often upon waking, an infant
will begin to signal to its caregiver with soft whimpering, which
eventually accelerates into frantic crying if it receives no response.

Sometimes crying is misconstrued as an idealized expression of anger or
manipulation. Yet, such distressed crying in a young infant might better
be described as a fear response. A fear invoked by the uncomfortable
feeling of being soiled, the rumbling of stomach pains, or the
vulnerability of being alone in the dark.

Crying infants who are unattended have been known to cry desperately for
an hour or more until the amygdala eventually shuts down. The infant in
turn, learns after repeated episodes that it can not expect comfort and
response to its cries, and it may decide its needs are unworthy of
attention and nurturing--a decision which may ultimately affect the
infant's development of self-worth and connectedness to the world."

Please find the full article on "The emotional Infant brain", by Lynn M.
Johnson, on this page:

http://babyparenting.about.com/libra.../aa040100a.htm



Information on premature babies and the bonding process:

When a baby is born prematurely, many mothers and fathers worry about the
lack of opportunity to have "bonding experiences".

While "full term bonding" involves picking out baby bunny wallpaper for
the nursery and snuggling with the baby after delivery, "preterm bonding"
can involve walls lined with blaring monitors and being afraid to touch
the baby for days after delivery. Nevertheless, the tenants of bonding
that hold true for full term parents also hold true for preterm parents:
Bonding is a process that occurs over time, bonding has peak moments, and
bonding is flexible, dynamic and resilient.

It is very important for you to remember that bonding is what happens over
time as you get to know your baby. You are not missing out on a critical
period for bonding when you miss the last part of your pregnancy, or when
you can’t hold your slippery newborn against your body. When your baby
is in the NICU, you’re not "missing the boat" and if you feel detached,
you are not a "bad" parent. While feelings of detachment can look and feel
like you don’t care about or feel anything for your baby, in fact, your
detachment is an important feature of how you cope with the trauma of
premature delivery. There is no way your mind can absorb all that has
happened, the vast changes in plans, and the future implications of this
turn of events. You need time to adjust to this new reality, time to learn
how to navigate your new world, and time to emotionally come to terms with
it all. If you find yourself avoiding the NICU and/or your baby,
particularly early on, this is a normal and natural reaction to the stress
and trauma of having an early, medically compromised baby. Feelings of
detachment don’t mean you’re an unfit mother or father. It means you
are a new parent adjusting to a new baby and to a different situation than
you were prepared for.

Bonding during pregnancy doesn’t have to include knitting booties,
preparing the nursery, stroking your big belly and childbirth classes.
Bonding after birth doesn’t have to include snuggling, feeding, cooing,
and smiles. While these activities can be evidence that bonding is
occurring, they are not mandatory. You may still not be able to knit,
nest, or nuzzle, but by simply wanting what is best for your baby, you are
bonding.

A lot more on premature babies and bonding can be found on "BONDING IN THE
NICU AND BEYOND", Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D. and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.
http://www.preemieparentsupport.com/bond.html



"The premature infant is often not physically ready to adapt to the world
outside of the uterus. Less fat to insulate the body leaves baby less able
to keep warm. There may be a lack of immunity to infection and muscular
strength necessary to expand the lungs for breathing. The capillary
network of the lungs may also be inadequate to provide sufficient exchange
of respiratory gases. Therefore, baby is placed in an incubator as soon as
possible, and in many cases given oxygen.

Until the eighties, the theory was that preemies were better off left
undisturbed in the incubator with minimal handling. Needless to say, my
mother was kept from touching or holding me. In fact, she wasn't even
allowed in the same room with me, but was merely allowed to peer at me
through a glass window...

When it comes to growth and development of preemies, doctors typically
evaluate an infant's progress according to an adjusted age. To calculate
this adjusted age, subtract the number of weeks or months between your
baby's birthdate and his due date. For example, if your baby is now 5
months old and he was born 2 months early, he has an adjusted age of 3
months. Standard guidelines for accessing growth and development can
generally be used after the second year, unless there are extenuating
medical circumstances. "

From "Preemie Care and Development" from about.com
http://babyparenting.miningco.com/li.../aa051001a.htm


On the infants senses:

"Although newborn vision isn't particularly impressive, it is reassuring
to know that the other sense modalities are considerably more advanced.
For example, at birth infants will show different patterns and degrees of
body movement depending on what touches them (e.g., a puff of air directed
at their bellies vs. stroking). Their sense of smell is also reasonably
sophisticated; for example, based on the direction they turn their heads,
newborns can distinguish between the smell of their mothers from that of a
stranger. Finally, their sense of taste is also well developed. Indeed,
infants not only prefer sweet solutions over salty or bitter tasting
solutions (based on how much they eat) but they also prefer some types of
sweets over others (e.g., glucose is preferred over lactose; note,
however, that it has not yet been determined if they prefer bitter-sweet
chocolate over sweet chocolate!).

Although hearing develops somewhat later than these other senses, it is
more sophisticated than vision. For example, in work that is now widely
known, Anthony DeCasper (University of North Carolina-Greensboro) has
demonstrated (based on patterns of sucking behavior) that newborns just a
few hours old are able to recognize their mother's voice (but not their
father's). The basis for this recognition has been thought to be prenatal
experience in hearing the mother's voice. Note, though, that it is not
until about 3 months that infants will recognize their mother's face. And,
it is likely not until 6 or 7 months that infants begin to think of their
mothers as a very special person in their world (Dads also become
"special" about this age).

Like the newborn's cognitive abilities, the development of social and
emotional behaviors have a relatively long incubation period. Although
newborns do smile, such smiles are generally more of a reflex than a
response to a social situation; social smiling as a rule doesn't occur
until 6 to 8 weeks. Similarly, although newborns might be able to tell the
difference between a smiling face and a sad face, they have no idea what
these faces mean to humans. This latter ability may not begin to develop
until closer to the first year of life, and likely undergoes further
development over the next 1 to 2 years . Their own production of emotion
is also limited; emotions that adults interpret as excitement and/or joy
are frequently seen, but more differentiated emotions like "afraid" or
"angry" or "sad" develop later in the first year..."

The long-term effects of the attachment-relationship:

"Interesting differences exist between children who had secure versus
anxious attachments. Children with secure early attachments are more
likely in later years to:

- be better problem-solvers
- form friendships and be leaders with peers - be more empathetic and less
aggressive - engage their world with confidence - have higher self-esteem
- be better at resolving conflict
- be more self-reliant and adaptable

In contrast, children with anxious attachments are more likely in later
years to:

- be socially withdrawn from peers
- be overly dependent on adults (e.g., teachers) - have lower
self-confidence
- victimize or be victimized by peers - form fewer friendships - be less
emotionally healthy "

A lot more research and articles can be found on "Attachment and Bonding",
University of Minnesota
http://ici2.umn.edu/ceed/publication...attachment.htm


On infants with vision and hearing impairments:

"In early interaction, bodily contact is central during the earliest weeks
but then vision is the most important avenue in communication. A normally
sighted infant expresses the joy she or he feels in communication; we
understand the infant without any explanations (Figure 1.A). A visually
impaired infant may not see enough to copy the smiles of the adult persons
and therefore needs enforcement through tactile and auditory information
(Figure 1.B). Since the visually impaired infant often has to concentrate
on listening and does not have the usual eye contact, the infant is in
danger of being thought to be uninterested in interaction.

The most important task in the assessment of infants is to find out how
much vision there is for visual communication, whether the infant uses
central vision and thus has a possibility to have normal eye-contact or
uses an extrafoveal area of the retina to look straight ahead and seems to
look past when looking at a persons face and how close an adult needs to
be to be seen by the infant.

Our expectations of the infant's responses are based on interaction with
normally sighted infants and therefore it is difficult to accept and
understand another type of response as a normal response in the case of
visual impairment. The communication situation needs to be explained to
the adult persons several times. Video recordings of early interaction are
effective in demonstrating to the adult persons that the infant wants to
communicate and enjoys interaction.


Early interaction of a normally sighted infant and an infant with dual
sensory impairment (visual and hearing impairment). A. At the age of three
months, visual communication of a normally sighted infant is an effective
bonding function; the infant and the adult person understand each other
right from the start. A visually impaired infant may not have normal eye
contact and may seem to look at the hair of the adult because of eccentric
fixation. The infant uses tactile confirmation of auditory communication
when lip movements cannot be seen. In such a situation the parents and
caretakers need support and training in early interaction"

From "Vision in Early Development", Lea Hyvärinen, MD
http://www.lea-test.fi/en/assessme/vision.html



On hearing impairments:

"Every one of our senses plays an important role in early development
hearing certainly leads the way. Much of early parent/child bonding has
to do with the child’s ability to respond to their parent’s voices by
gurling and cooing. One of the main reasons an infant desires to move
around and explore the environment is partially because the child hears
something that intrigues them or attracts their attention. When a child
cries, he or she can hear their parents coming to comfort them. The
ability of a child having full use of his or her auditory capacity is
seriously linked with early development . However, when the sense is not
in full operation everything is affected. It is extremely important for
early identification of hearing loss simply because the first three years
are the most important for speech and language acquisition. Skills that
may be gained in early intervention cannot be made as quickly when a child
is older. The main motive for early identification of hearing impairment
in infants speaks about the consequences of hearing impairment on speech
and language acquisition, academic achievement and social development.
Limiting these harsh consequences is the main principle of early
identification.

Communication difficulties can affect a child’s relationships with
others. When hearing loss is present, the social development of the child
is greatly affected. To better deal with possible rejection from peers,
children with hearing disabilities should first be exposed to early
intervention methods. The feeling of isolation, feeling lonely without
friends and being unhappy in school, during social hour with normal
students is a feeling reported by many children with serious hearing loss
(Effects of Hearing Loss, 1997). However, these social problems are more
prominent with children who suffer from a mild form of hearing
impairments. Children with hearing impairment cannot speak or pronounce
certain letters, thus making speech to be difficult. Not having the
capability to speak clearly makes it difficult for a child with hearing
loss to adapt any type of a social life. Usually children with hearing
loss do not have the ability of hearing their own voices when they talk,
causing them to speak too loud or not loud enough (Effects of Hearing
Loss, 1997). Because they have high-pitched voices it may seem like they
are mumbling resulting in rejection from their peers (Effects of Hearing
Loss, 1997). "

"Exceptional Children, by Mimi Fikre
http://www.frostburg.edu/dept/psyc/m...irment_mf.html


Some more interesting articles on the subject:

Born Too Soon, by Amy E. Tracy
http://www.preemieparents.com/articles/borntoosoon.htm

"Care of the Premature Infant", AAFP:
http://www.aafp.org/afp/980501ap/trachten.html

An article on father-newborn bonding:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp "Human Attachment and
Bonding", by Lynn M. Johnson
http://babyparenting.about.com/libra...y/aa081099.htm

"Parents of preemies"

http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/dy...ies%2Ftoc.html

"The Importance of the In-Arms Phase", by Jean Liedloff
http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html

"Bonding with your newborn", from theparentreport.com:
http://www.theparentreport.com/resou...y_life/64.html

"Bonding and attachment, when it goes awry", from the Washington Parent
Magazine:
http://www.washingtonparent.com/arti...12/bonding.htm

"MOTHER-INFANT BONDING", A Scientific Fiction by Diane E. Eyer
http://citd.scar.utoronto.ca/ANTB25/...ings/Eyer.html

Hope this answers your question,

Kind regards,

rhansenne-ga.

Search terms used:

"bonding" "infant" "newborn" "parent" "premature" "vision" "hearing"
"impairment"

Request for Answer Clarification by jolly-ga on 29 Jun 2002 04:30 PDT

Great information and resources ! One futher request. Important factors
that interfere with the development of appropriate bonding.Example would
be drug addicted mother.Inability to accept child with disabilities. I
need research references on this. This is for Master's in early childhood
education comprehensive exam question. Thanks again! I can't believe how
fast you got the infor.-jolly

Clarification of Answer by rhansenne-ga on 29 Jun 2002 08:52 PDT

Hi again jolly,

Here are some factors that may interfere with the bonding process between
infant/child and parent:


ILLNESS, ADOPTION, TWINS/TRIPLETS/...:

"Normal hospital events can interfere with bonding by causing separation.
Many procedures which are designed to decrease

perinatal health risks have increased bonding risks. For example, bonding
can be jeopardized when a child is separated

because of illness, when placed in an intensive care nursery, when placed
in an incubator, or when the mother is anesthetized

at delivery. In addition, there are other circumstances which may reduce
the possibility of bonding: when the infant is a

twin or triplet, when the mother is sick, when the child is adopted."


DIVORCE, MARITAL PROBLEMS, GRIEF FOR A DEATH/MISCARRIAGE, FEAR:

"From these and related studies, the negative consequences of physical
separation at or near birth for both mother and child

seem well established. In addition to physical separation, humans have a
capacity to become emotionally separated. They

suggested that a mother's ability to bond with her child can be impeded if
she is experiencing a competing emotion. Such an

emotion must be so intense that it could block out the bonding emotions.
Such emotions include grief: grief for the death or

loss of someone close, grief following a miscarriage, or the shock of a
divorce or separation."

"Other competing emotions include intense fear, the severe depression, and
extreme marital problems. In addition, in our

clinical practice, we have seen addiction act as a competing emotion: it
is though the mother is powerfully bonded to the

drug and hence unavailable to her infant. And almost invariably, when a
mother states that she has never wanted the child,

there is an emotional barrier present and bonding is unlikely to have
occurred."


MOTHER'S BACKGROUND/HER OWN BONDING AS A CHILD:

"Klaus and Kennell state that other variables may well contribute to
bonding failures, including the mother's background and

her own birth and bonding, as well as other unknown environmental factors.
We have observed, however, as did Klaus and

Kennell, that although these variables may contribute, the factors most
highly correlated with bonding failures are physical

and emotional separation."

Above excerpts come from "Maternal-Infant Bonding and Asthma", by Antonio
Madrid, Ph.D, and Dale Pennington, Ph.D.:
http://www.rivershrink.com/study.html


MALE DOMINATION (FATHER), IMPEDIMENT OF BREAST FEEDING:

"Disruption of the bonding process during the critical period just after
delivery, by the absence of the skin intimate

contact of the new-born with the mother, by removal of the child from the
mother, or by the impediment of breast feeding

Disruption of the bonding process by diminishing or suppressing the
feelings of the delivery, thus impeding the

transformation of the woman into a mother

Systematic attacks of the mother-child symbiosis during the breast feeding
period, due to jealousy or hate around the mother,

of the part of the father, of the part of family or of the part of
practitioners, or due to detrimental breeding or

educational procedures, or due to male domination attempting to prevent
adequate feminine functioning

Inaptitude of the mother to accept the bonding process and/or the
symbiosis, either by the rejection of the child of by

rejection of the mother state (usually unconscious)"
http://www.structuralpsy.org/Pages/S...Psychoses.html


DISABILITIES/IMPAIRMENTS

"When the evidence mounts that a baby or toddler who recently joined the
family is in fact impaired, the family undergoes a complex emotional
process of internalizing its situation: among the stages experienced will
be denial, anxiety, anger and hostility and even depression, until a
ripening of the adaptive coping ability occurs. The bonding process that
constitutes a kind of 'emotional umbilical cord' between the toddler and
his parents is not always possible when the child is impaired, for a
number of reasons: First, the impaired child, the one suffering from
mental (retardation), motor (C.P.), emotional (PDD), sensory (blindness,
deafness, severe regulatory difficulties) or combined handicaps, often
tends to be incomprehensibly uncommunicative toward his parents; no
smiling, averse to touch or indifference to stimulation - all having a
highly disruptive effect on the bonding process. Dysmorphic
characteristics and impairment of the toddler’s external appearance
affect the parent’s tendency to connect emotionally with his child.
Further, there is the added burden of burnout from exhausting daily care
and constant coping with community agents who are supposed to provide the
family with various treatment options: burnout that leaves insufficient
emotional availability for the task of weaving the delicate fabric of the
parent-child relationship."
http://www.education.gov.il/preschool/english/earl4.htm


DEPRESSION:

"Untreated depression may interfere with your ability to enjoy your
pregnancy. Early bonding with your baby may be hindered

which may lead to long term consequences for you and your baby. If illness
persists in the postpartum period, this impaired

bonding may become chronic. This has long-term consequences for the child
in terms of cognitive and behavioural problems in

school."
http://www.bcrmh.com/disorders/major_depression.htm


MEDICAL PROCEDURES, NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS, SEXUAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE:

"There are still a variety of individual, contextually ruled conditions
that can place a child at risk for developing

reactive attachment disorder. They include but are not limited to severe
neglect of the infant’s emotional, social, and

physical needs, including pathological or inadequate childcare and
physical or psychological abandonment by mother; sexual,

emotional, or physical abuse; poverty and low quality day care provision;
painful or undiagnosed illness or injury; sudden

and prolonged separation from the primary care-giver; prenatal abuse
including alcohol and/or drug abuse and poor maternal

nutrition; young mothers with poor parenting skills; frequent foster-care
placements and failed adoptions; premature birth

and low birth weight factors; and exposure to environmental toxins and/or
trauma . Other factors that interfere with

mother-child bonding and may impair a healthy attachment relationship
include multiple and inconsistent care-givers; invasive or painful medical
procedures, hospitalization, or institutionalizations; and neurological
problems"

"Children With Reactive Attachment Disorder"
http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~gin7755/RAD/wanted.htm


DRUGS/ALCOHOL ADDICTION:

"Even before a child is born, the building blocks of development are being
laid. During the critical nine months the child is

within his mother’s womb, he must receive sufficient nutrition and be
free of harmful drugs if he is to develop into a

healthy baby. Many of the children who hurt were born to mothers addicted
to drugs and/or alcohol. These children can be

viewed as life’s earliest abuse victims, as their systems fail to
develop properly. Many times, these children are primed not

to attach to a caregiver. With immature neurological systems, they are
often hypersensitive to all stimulation. They don’t

like light and may perceive any touch as pain. A child in chronic pain,
even with the most loving caregiver, may develop

attachment disorder as the pain short-circuits his ability to bond.

Sadly, a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or with drug-induced
problems is most often tended to by a substance-addicted

mother, incapable of providing even basic care. His heightened sensitivity
and irritability may set him up for further abuse

or neglect from his mother as she attempts to parent a baby who is often
fussy and upset. "


POSSIBLE RESULTS OF NON-BONDING:

"Children whose developmental interruptions have resulted in an attachment
disorder may exhibit many, or even all, of the

following symptoms:

- Superficially engaging and "charming" behavior. - Indiscriminate
affection toward strangers. - Lack of affection with parents on their
terms (not cuddly). - Little eye contact with parents (on normal terms). -
Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter. - Inappropriate
demanding and clingy behavior. - Lying about the obvious. - Stealing. -
Destructive behavior to self, to others and to material things (accident
prone).
- Abnormal eating patterns.
- No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive). - Lags in learning. -
Abnormal speech patterns.
- Poor peer relationships.
- Lack of cause-and-effect thinking.
- Lack of conscience.
- Cruelty to animals.
- Preoccupation with fire.

"The Cycle of Bonding", How it's interrupted by Abuse and Neglect, by
Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. and Regina M. Kupecky, L.S.W.
http://www.addictionrecov.org/paradi...k_kupecky.html



  #28  
Old September 3rd 03, 08:58 AM
dani
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

On Tue, 02 Sep 2003 21:57:17 -0700, teachrmama wrote:

It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until
the child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani.
Thanks!


Your quite welcome!
  #29  
Old September 3rd 03, 08:58 AM
dani
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default CA Gov. Candidate Warren Farrell speaks on responsibility of both parents

On Tue, 02 Sep 2003 21:57:17 -0700, teachrmama wrote:

It doesn't sound to me as if there is no bonding with the parents until
the child reaches 2 years of age. Very informative excerpts, Dani.
Thanks!


Your quite welcome!
 




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