Does anybody have any useful advice on how to collect a child

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. 17.102...
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in
:


"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. 33.102...
wrote in


Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to
come out on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want
for 5 days, or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater
with a bunch of people you don't even know. I see now why you want
your ex to "help support" your daughter.
I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.


I live within my means. I don't see how spending three dollars on two
movie tickets every few months should negate my ex-husband's
responsibility towards his daughter... I am not asking for him to pay
for extras! If he was taking care of his responsibilities to his
daughter, maybe I wouldn't have to put off seeing movies until they
were already on DVD, but playing at the dollar show.
At our court date on Tuesday, I found out that he was "laid off"
three weeks ago. (Of course, it was a coincidence that that happened
right after he got the paperwork from the court) So right now, he's
not supporting her at all, not even the 70 dollars a month or so that
he had been....

I am just amazed at the number of mothers who believe a child's father
being laid off from his job is somehow the manipulation of the father.
Lay-offs are employer decisions, not father decisions.



He was "laid off" a week after he threatened to quit his job to come up
here and "keep dragging me in to court" with the intention of *me*
losing *my* job over it.
He claims he moved down there because jobs are plentiful, but he has
been out of work for nearly a month? I don't buy that.

Maybe he wasn't laid off. Maybe he just quit. Or maybe he is still working
but telling you he was laid off. If the father is as flakey as you have
described, why are you taking his statement about being laid off at face
value without verifying it?

teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip


Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the movies, it
is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar show. I just don't
think the government should be mandating "extras"; the parents in intact
families are not put in jail for not buying their kids ipods.
Kids don't need lots of stuff to be happy. Kids need love, understanding
and (an appropriate degree of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive. It
is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to come out
on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want for 5 days,
or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater with a bunch
of people you don't even know. I see now why you want your ex to "help
support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very often.


I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet. Live
within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not have the
daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for child care. She
would like the dad to contribute for the child's needs, because that will
help her pay for thye now-necessary child care. I though you were of the
opinion that fathers should provide for their children? Did you change your
mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

wrote in message
...


teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip


Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the movies, it
is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar show. I just don't
think the government should be mandating "extras"; the parents in
intact
families are not put in jail for not buying their kids ipods.
Kids don't need lots of stuff to be happy. Kids need love,
understanding
and (an appropriate degree of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive. It
is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to come out
on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want for 5 days,
or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater with a bunch
of people you don't even know. I see now why you want your ex to "help
support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very often.


I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet. Live
within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not have
the
daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for child care.
She
would like the dad to contribute for the child's needs, because that will
help her pay for thye now-necessary child care. I though you were of the
opinion that fathers should provide for their children? Did you change
your
mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

She is living in within the means she has. You seem to be talking from both
directions. The father is not demonstrating any responsibility, having
walked away from their 50/50 shared parenting plan. Sarah is managing with
what she has, but would also like a bit of help from the dad to cover new
expenses created by his walking away, such as child care. What other
suggestions do you have for her?

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in
:


"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. 17.102...
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in
:


"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. 33.102...
wrote in


Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to
come out on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want
for 5 days, or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a
theater with a bunch of people you don't even know. I see now why
you want your ex to "help support" your daughter.
I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your
ex, you should not be going to the movies, or even have the
internet. Live within your means and then you won't need to depend
on him for suport.


I live within my means. I don't see how spending three dollars on
two movie tickets every few months should negate my ex-husband's
responsibility towards his daughter... I am not asking for him to
pay for extras! If he was taking care of his responsibilities to
his daughter, maybe I wouldn't have to put off seeing movies until
they were already on DVD, but playing at the dollar show.
At our court date on Tuesday, I found out that he was "laid off"
three weeks ago. (Of course, it was a coincidence that that
happened right after he got the paperwork from the court) So right
now, he's not supporting her at all, not even the 70 dollars a
month or so that he had been....

I am just amazed at the number of mothers who believe a child's
father being laid off from his job is somehow the manipulation of
the father.
Lay-offs are employer decisions, not father decisions.



He was "laid off" a week after he threatened to quit his job to come
up here and "keep dragging me in to court" with the intention of *me*
losing *my* job over it.
He claims he moved down there because jobs are plentiful, but he has
been out of work for nearly a month? I don't buy that.

Maybe he wasn't laid off. Maybe he just quit. Or maybe he is still
working but telling you he was laid off. If the father is as flakey
as you have described, why are you taking his statement about being
laid off at face value without verifying it?



I have no way of verifiying it, other than the fact that I have not
recieved child support monies this month. (Automatic deductions from
paycheck). For what it's worth, he told the referee he had been laid
off, and I don't think he's together enough to find work without it
getting garnished...

wrote in
:



teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
news:3574ed2e-87e9-4e85-ac3a-1f056953c1c1
@j20g2000hsi.googlegroups.com
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip


Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the
movies, it is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar
show. I just don't think the government should be mandating
"extras"; the parents in intact families are not put in jail for
not buying their kids ipods. Kids don't need lots of stuff to be
happy. Kids need love, understanding and (an appropriate degree
of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to
come out on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want
for 5 days, or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a
theater with a bunch of people you don't even know. I see now why
you want your ex to "help support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very
often.


I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not
have the daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for
child care. She would like the dad to contribute for the child's
needs, because that will help her pay for thye now-necessary child
care. I though you were of the opinion that fathers should provide
for their children? Did you change your mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.


But if "the means I have" is cut into by having to take care of *all* of
our child's expenses, should that mean my daughter should go without and
*only* have bare-bones basic everything because I don't make enough
money to cover both of her parent's shares of her expenses, *and* have
enough for extras?

On Dec 9, 10:08 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
wrote in message

...







teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip

Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the movies, it
is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar show. I just don't
think the government should be mandating "extras"; the parents in
intact
families are not put in jail for not buying their kids ipods.
Kids don't need lots of stuff to be happy. Kids need love,
understanding
and (an appropriate degree of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive. It
is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to come out
on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want for 5 days,
or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater with a bunch
of people you don't even know. I see now why you want your ex to "help
support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very often.

I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet. Live
within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not have
the
daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for child care.
She
would like the dad to contribute for the child's needs, because that will
help her pay for thye now-necessary child care. I though you were of the
opinion that fathers should provide for their children? Did you change
your
mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

She is living in within the means she has. You seem to be talking from both
directions. The father is not demonstrating any responsibility, having
walked away from their 50/50 shared parenting plan. Sarah is managing with
what she has, but would also like a bit of help from the dad to cover new
expenses created by his walking away, such as child care. What other
suggestions do you have for her?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Make oneself more employable, or get a second job. Sometimes the only
way to get something is by the sweat of ones own brow.
That's why the government implemented child support. Sara's ex is just
one of many that walk away from thier responsibilities to the children
they have a 50/50 cocreateation and responsibility of. It proves my
point that there is a reason the CS system exists. For all of the
fathers that do want to do right, there are men like Sarah's ex.

On Dec 10, 1:22 am, Sarah Gray wrote:
wrote :



teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
news:3574ed2e-87e9-4e85-ac3a-1f056953c1c1

@j20g2000hsi.googlegroups.com





...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip

Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the
movies, it is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar
show. I just don't think the government should be mandating
"extras"; the parents in intact families are not put in jail for
not buying their kids ipods. Kids don't need lots of stuff to be
happy. Kids need love, understanding and (an appropriate degree
of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to
come out on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want
for 5 days, or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a
theater with a bunch of people you don't even know. I see now why
you want your ex to "help support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very
often.

I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not
have the daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for
child care. She would like the dad to contribute for the child's
needs, because that will help her pay for thye now-necessary child
care. I though you were of the opinion that fathers should provide
for their children? Did you change your mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

But if "the means I have" is cut into by having to take care of *all* of
our child's expenses, should that mean my daughter should go without and
*only* have bare-bones basic everything because I don't make enough
money to cover both of her parent's shares of her expenses, *and* have
enough for extras?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Sometimes it's a struggle to do what you have to do. My husband and I
ate dry potatoe's every night for a bit over three months, no
furinature in our apartment, and no television-all so that my
stepdaughter did not go without. The ex was going to school full time,
and working full time, and we were not going to let her not advance
her education and work two full time jobs. That would have been easy,
but in the long run, more expensive.
Finally my husband was able to better employ himself, and now we
struggle, but not near as bad as before. The ex is well employed
because she has her credentials, and she owes them to us.

wrote in message
...
On Dec 9, 10:08 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
wrote in message

...







teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip

Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the movies,
it
is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar show. I just
don't
think the government should be mandating "extras"; the parents in
intact
families are not put in jail for not buying their kids ipods.
Kids don't need lots of stuff to be happy. Kids need love,
understanding
and (an appropriate degree of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It
is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to come
out
on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want for 5 days,
or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater with a
bunch
of people you don't even know. I see now why you want your ex to
"help
support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very
often.

I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live
within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not
have
the
daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for child
care.
She
would like the dad to contribute for the child's needs, because that
will
help her pay for thye now-necessary child care. I though you were of
the
opinion that fathers should provide for their children? Did you
change
your
mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

She is living in within the means she has. You seem to be talking from
both
directions. The father is not demonstrating any responsibility, having
walked away from their 50/50 shared parenting plan. Sarah is managing
with
what she has, but would also like a bit of help from the dad to cover new
expenses created by his walking away, such as child care. What other
suggestions do you have for her?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Make oneself more employable, or get a second job. Sometimes the only
way to get something is by the sweat of ones own brow.
That's why the government implemented child support. Sara's ex is just
one of many that walk away from thier responsibilities to the children
they have a 50/50 cocreateation and responsibility of. It proves my
point that there is a reason the CS system exists. For all of the
fathers that do want to do right, there are men like Sarah's ex.

So let the system deal with those who refuse to take on their own
responsibilities--and leave the rest alone. I have no idea why you have
chosen to be so hard on Sarah who, from what she has written here, is
working very hard to do what is right by her child, and is asking for a
minimal amount of help. She has stated that her job has great advancement
potential, and that she is very fortunate to have such a job, so she IS
becoming more employable just by working there. That is far, far better
than some of the CPs who come through, complaining endlessly about how much
they are "owed" for simply being parents to their children.

wrote in message
...
On Dec 10, 1:22 am, Sarah Gray wrote:
wrote
:



teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
news:3574ed2e-87e9-4e85-ac3a-1f056953c1c1

@j20g2000hsi.googlegroups.com





...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip

Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the
movies, it is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar
show. I just don't think the government should be mandating
"extras"; the parents in intact families are not put in jail for
not buying their kids ipods. Kids don't need lots of stuff to be
happy. Kids need love, understanding and (an appropriate degree
of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to
come out on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want
for 5 days, or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a
theater with a bunch of people you don't even know. I see now why
you want your ex to "help support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very
often.

I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not
have the daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for
child care. She would like the dad to contribute for the child's
needs, because that will help her pay for thye now-necessary child
care. I though you were of the opinion that fathers should provide
for their children? Did you change your mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

But if "the means I have" is cut into by having to take care of *all* of
our child's expenses, should that mean my daughter should go without and
*only* have bare-bones basic everything because I don't make enough
money to cover both of her parent's shares of her expenses, *and* have
enough for extras?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Sometimes it's a struggle to do what you have to do. My husband and I
ate dry potatoe's every night for a bit over three months, no
furinature in our apartment, and no television-all so that my
stepdaughter did not go without. The ex was going to school full time,
and working full time, and we were not going to let her not advance
her education and work two full time jobs. That would have been easy,
but in the long run, more expensive.
Finally my husband was able to better employ himself, and now we
struggle, but not near as bad as before. The ex is well employed
because she has her credentials, and she owes them to us.

And if she decides to be a b*tch, it will not matter that you made it
possible for her to have great employment, because the CS system does not
see it that way. She can decide to work part time as a waitress, and guess
who the system will decide needs to take up the slack--whether it puts you
back on dry potatoes or not. It's good that things are working out well in
your case--but they do not always work out so well.

On Dec 10, 9:19 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
wrote in message

...





On Dec 9, 10:08 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
wrote in message

...

teachrmama wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Nov 15, 8:56 pm, Sarah Gray wrote:
snip

Actually, I am not particularly well off. When we go to the movies,
it
is only once in a while, and usually to the dollar show. I just
don't
think the government should be mandating "extras"; the parents in
intact
families are not put in jail for not buying their kids ipods.
Kids don't need lots of stuff to be happy. Kids need love,
understanding
and (an appropriate degree of) respect.

--

Sarah Gray- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Going to the movies is not something you need in order to survive.
It
is more practical, and cose efficent to wait for the movie to come
out
on DVD. $3.50 to watch a movie as many times as you want for 5 days,
or $9.50 a ticket to watch a movie one time in a theater with a
bunch
of people you don't even know. I see now why you want your ex to
"help
support" your daughter.

Geesh, Leda, she said she went to the dollar show. And not very
often.

I am sorry, but if you are saying that you need money from your ex,
you should not be going to the movies, or even have the internet.
Live
within your means and then you won't need to depend on him for
suport.

She said that, now that the dad has moved out of state, he does not
have
the
daughter half the time, and she is going to have to pay for child
care.
She
would like the dad to contribute for the child's needs, because that
will
help her pay for thye now-necessary child care. I though you were of
the
opinion that fathers should provide for their children? Did you
change
your
mind
No I haven't. I just think that the CP needs to live within the means
they have.

She is living in within the means she has. You seem to be talking from
both
directions. The father is not demonstrating any responsibility, having
walked away from their 50/50 shared parenting plan. Sarah is managing
with
what she has, but would also like a bit of help from the dad to cover new
expenses created by his walking away, such as child care. What other
suggestions do you have for her?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Make oneself more employable, or get a second job. Sometimes the only
way to get something is by the sweat of ones own brow.
That's why the government implemented child support. Sara's ex is just
one of many that walk away from thier responsibilities to the children
they have a 50/50 cocreateation and responsibility of. It proves my
point that there is a reason the CS system exists. For all of the
fathers that do want to do right, there are men like Sarah's ex.

So let the system deal with those who refuse to take on their own
responsibilities--and leave the rest alone. I have no idea why you have
chosen to be so hard on Sarah who, from what she has written here, is
working very hard to do what is right by her child, and is asking for a
minimal amount of help. She has stated that her job has great advancement
potential, and that she is very fortunate to have such a job, so she IS
becoming more employable just by working there. That is far, far better
than some of the CPs who come through, complaining endlessly about how much
they are "owed" for simply being parents to their children.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

She has stated that her job has great advancement
potential, and that she is very fortunate to have such a job, so she IS
becoming more employable just by working there. That is far, far better
than some of the CPs who come through, complaining endlessly about how much
they are "owed" for simply being parents to their children.-

I don't see where she is not complaining about the cost of raising the
child, or the fact that the ex left the state. She has a recourse-she
can allow her child to live with the ex and his parents until she has
advanced in her job and is able to offord the essintals, and the
*extras*.