in need of some serious advice (international)

Hi,

I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation:

I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one
year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that
she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried
desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into
having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of
responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to
end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she
would not go.

She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could
stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15)
was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a
hostal.

I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my
consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I
asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the
child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had
decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship
(which I nonetheless wanted out of).

I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to
have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I
would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said
she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to
do it in Bogota.

A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost
blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the
wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her
decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants.

We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week
settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the
child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and
that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support.

However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse,
and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her
to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and
receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next
month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me
anything about this lawsuit.

She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to
face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she
threatened me once more with this lawsuit.

Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay
at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to
do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is
necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk),
and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but
under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment.

I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides
the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out
of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication
with her.

I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I
would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If
anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot.

Thanks,
confused in Ecuador

need advice wrote:

Hi,

I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation:

I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one
year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that
she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried
desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into
having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of
responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to
end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she
would not go.

She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could
stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15)
was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a
hostal.

I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my
consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I
asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the
child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had
decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship
(which I nonetheless wanted out of).

I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to
have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I
would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said
she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to
do it in Bogota.

A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost
blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the
wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her
decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants.

We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week
settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the
child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and
that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support.

However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse,
and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her
to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and
receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next
month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me
anything about this lawsuit.

She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to
face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she
threatened me once more with this lawsuit.

Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay
at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to
do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is
necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk),
and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but
under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment.

I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides
the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out
of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication
with her.

I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I
would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If
anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot.

Thanks,
confused in Ecuador

1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you
ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you
know that now.

2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now.

3. Talk to a lawyer.

Chris Owens


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http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
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need advice wrote:

Hi,

I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation:

I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one
year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that
she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried
desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into
having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of
responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to
end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she
would not go.

She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could
stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15)
was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a
hostal.

I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my
consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I
asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the
child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had
decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship
(which I nonetheless wanted out of).

I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to
have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I
would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said
she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to
do it in Bogota.

A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost
blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the
wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her
decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants.

We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week
settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the
child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and
that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support.

However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse,
and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her
to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and
receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next
month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me
anything about this lawsuit.

She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to
face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she
threatened me once more with this lawsuit.

Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay
at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to
do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is
necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk),
and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but
under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment.

I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides
the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out
of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication
with her.

I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I
would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If
anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot.

Thanks,
confused in Ecuador

1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you
ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you
know that now.

2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now.

3. Talk to a lawyer.

Chris Owens


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

Chris Owens wrote:

1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you
ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you
know that now.

2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now.

3. Talk to a lawyer.

Chris Owens


Very good advice. Take it.

Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M.D., FACS, P. C.
2500 Milvia Street Suite 222
Berkeley, California 94704-2636 USA
Telephone: 510-849-2555
FAX: 510-849-2557
http://www.rafink.com

"Ex Tristitia Virtus"

Chris Owens wrote:

1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you
ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you
know that now.

2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now.

3. Talk to a lawyer.

Chris Owens


Very good advice. Take it.

Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M.D., FACS, P. C.
2500 Milvia Street Suite 222
Berkeley, California 94704-2636 USA
Telephone: 510-849-2555
FAX: 510-849-2557
http://www.rafink.com

"Ex Tristitia Virtus"