What can I do?

wrote in message ...


gini52 wrote:
==
I'm glad you are seeing a lawyer. Please let us know what he/she says.
Best
wishes to you.
==
==


Well, Mr. Lawyer told us what we figured, to just sit tight and not do
anything.
We should wait for him to issue the court order. Sometimes people like
this
just go away, or he'll show his true colors when confronted with the
thought of
21 years of Child Support. Then again, he may not, and we'll have to deal
with
this then. So until then, we hope he either digs himself a hole he can't
get
out of, or decides he doesn't want this committment. As for me and what I
do
with all of this, I still don't know. I hope to be able to stand by her
side
throughout this and go along with what happens, but I don't know if I'll
be able
to take the crap that comes with a decision against us, which is more than
likely if it were to happen anytime soon. The more time that goes by, the
better off it'll be. I'm assumed to be the father, but since I know I'm
not(99%
at least, and I'll check that if/when we get a summons) and wanted to get
a
divorce, I'm sure I can get out of child support, unless I did wind up
adopting
him. At this point I think I would, even though it would be an extremely
difficult thing to do, besides the fact that we'd(she'd) have to let the
whole
family down by breaking the news.

Thanks for all the input.
==
This is an area of family law that is in transition which is one reason I
was glad you saw an attorney. In PA you would be the legal father with all
its rewards and responsibilities regardless of what the bio father did/does.
He would have no more paternal rights than a stranger on the street. At this
time, you might not be able to get out of child support if there were a
divorce. Case law is against you there with the idea that even if you are
not the father, the child thinks you are and you can not walk away from that
responsibility. Many non-fathers in your situation are working to have the
laws changed so that men do not have to pay child support for a child who is
not theirs, even if blood tests confirm that. They are still being ordered
to pay as long as they "acted" life the father. The only typical exception
is with step-fathers. Anyway, I hope you keep us updated as you are treading
an area of great interest for men.
==
==

Several possible pitfalls have been pointed out to him. He seems to be
receptive to being responsible for the child. If the biological father is a
scuzzbag, the guy should be admired for his stand. He should go with his gut
feeling.

--
Regards,
Clark, Still Free in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com - Freedom's Home Page
http://xld.com/public/xldata/net.htm - ISP Service
God Bless America and her friends!



"gini52" wrote in message
...

==
This is an area of family law that is in transition which is one reason I
was glad you saw an attorney. In PA you would be the legal father with all
its rewards and responsibilities regardless of what the bio father did/does.
He would have no more paternal rights than a stranger on the street. At this
time, you might not be able to get out of child support if there were a
divorce. Case law is against you there with the idea that even if you are
not the father, the child thinks you are and you can not walk away from that
responsibility. Many non-fathers in your situation are working to have the
laws changed so that men do not have to pay child support for a child who is
not theirs, even if blood tests confirm that. They are still being ordered
to pay as long as they "acted" life the father. The only typical exception
is with step-fathers. Anyway, I hope you keep us updated as you are treading
an area of great interest for men.
==
==





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Several possible pitfalls have been pointed out to him. He seems to be
receptive to being responsible for the child. If the biological father is a
scuzzbag, the guy should be admired for his stand. He should go with his gut
feeling.

--
Regards,
Clark, Still Free in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com - Freedom's Home Page
http://xld.com/public/xldata/net.htm - ISP Service
God Bless America and her friends!



"gini52" wrote in message
...

==
This is an area of family law that is in transition which is one reason I
was glad you saw an attorney. In PA you would be the legal father with all
its rewards and responsibilities regardless of what the bio father did/does.
He would have no more paternal rights than a stranger on the street. At this
time, you might not be able to get out of child support if there were a
divorce. Case law is against you there with the idea that even if you are
not the father, the child thinks you are and you can not walk away from that
responsibility. Many non-fathers in your situation are working to have the
laws changed so that men do not have to pay child support for a child who is
not theirs, even if blood tests confirm that. They are still being ordered
to pay as long as they "acted" life the father. The only typical exception
is with step-fathers. Anyway, I hope you keep us updated as you are treading
an area of great interest for men.
==
==





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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.512 / Virus Database: 309 - Release Date: 8/23/2003

wrote:

All,

I really don't know what to do with this, so I'm just looking to vent and get
opinions.

I'm married, my wife had an affair last year and just had a baby a month ago.
We had thought the baby was mine, but apparently it isn't, she took a swab test
with the guy and I it came back positive. I had forgiven her for the affair,
but now with this baby not being mine, it has complicated things greatly. I'm
going to take the blood test, but if it's not mine and the biological father
wants a claim, do I have any right to dispute it? I'm willing to raise the
child as my own, but I cannot have the constant reminder of her infidelity
coming to pick him up every other weekend.

Thanks for your input.

OK, make your choice NOW, and never look back:

1. Accept this child as yours; skip the paterntity test; and
accept that, if your marriage ever ends, you will be responsible
as the father of this child.

2. Deny the child; get a divorce; and challenge paternity during
the proceedings so that you aren't responsible for support.

This IS the proverbial fork in the road, hon; you can't have
both, and you have a fairly narrow window to choose.

Chris Owens


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wrote:

All,

I really don't know what to do with this, so I'm just looking to vent and get
opinions.

I'm married, my wife had an affair last year and just had a baby a month ago.
We had thought the baby was mine, but apparently it isn't, she took a swab test
with the guy and I it came back positive. I had forgiven her for the affair,
but now with this baby not being mine, it has complicated things greatly. I'm
going to take the blood test, but if it's not mine and the biological father
wants a claim, do I have any right to dispute it? I'm willing to raise the
child as my own, but I cannot have the constant reminder of her infidelity
coming to pick him up every other weekend.

Thanks for your input.

OK, make your choice NOW, and never look back:

1. Accept this child as yours; skip the paterntity test; and
accept that, if your marriage ever ends, you will be responsible
as the father of this child.

2. Deny the child; get a divorce; and challenge paternity during
the proceedings so that you aren't responsible for support.

This IS the proverbial fork in the road, hon; you can't have
both, and you have a fairly narrow window to choose.

Chris Owens


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http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
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