AT A LOST FOR WORDS... BUT HERE'S A FEW!! :)

I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

"SunShyne" wrote in message
om...
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

"SunShyne" wrote in message
om...
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

"SunShyne" wrote in message
om...
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.


Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a
way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to
not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive
that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal
to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out
of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for
you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when
trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

"SunShyne" wrote in message
om...
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.


Well, it seems to make sense to me that since he wont be credited for the
amount he has sent you.... and he should be.... then he would look for a
way
out of having to pay that money at all. Maybe the person who informed him
of this recognizes the injustice of the dad not being able to get the
credit. Informing him of a way around the injustice does not equate to
not
looking out for the best interests of the child. The child did receive
that
money. Not receiving the money *again* does not harm the child.

Since you don't need that money anyway, the loss shouldn't be a big deal
to
you. If it is principle (how dare he question paternity just to get out
of
paying what he owes) don't you think he should be credited for what he has
paid? If he is not questioning paternity but actually just trying to get
out of having to pay the same amount again, then there is no reason for
you
to take it personally. He has limited options available to him when
trying
to get things to work out fairly for him.

~August

SunShyne wrote:
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent.

How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
you chose to move the child so far away?

He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.

He sent it to him, or you?

We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.

You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.

If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
reasonable support the child) would be important, too.

Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
exactly why are you asking for it?

SunShyne wrote:
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent.

How is he supposed to have a meaningful relationship with his child if
you chose to move the child so far away?

He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life.

He sent it to him, or you?

We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.

You obviously have no problem with him not getting credit for the money
he's already paid. You didn't say a word in complaint about that.
Yet, you want the system to work him for your benefit? Why the
double-standard? You are quite the hypocrite.

If the system really were looking out for "the best interests of the
children", they (and you) would recognize that making that the father
doesn't get unfairly screwed financially (and, therefore, able to
reasonable support the child) would be important, too.

Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.

Actions speak louder than words. If you truly don't need the money,
exactly why are you asking for it?

SunShyne wrote:

Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
was one of them.

SunShyne wrote:

Sunshyne? Moonshyne? I seem to remember that "moonshyne" once said
she had several names she used from time to time, and that "sunshyne"
was one of them.

Let's see, you moved your child away from one of its parents before it was
born at a distance that no meaningful relationship could be established.
You had the sole and unilateral choice of whether to bring a child into the
world, and now you want child support from him.........greedy is not the
word for it.......selfish is the starting point. Why don't you take
responsibility for the sole and unilateral choices you made.

BTW, you are not lost, but you certainly have abused your son.

"SunShyne" wrote in message
om...
I hope someone has heard of this before. My sons father lives in GA
and always has. I used to live there but when I got pregnant I moved
back to my home of MI after unsuccessful attempts of making a
relationship(never-married) work with the father. We are approaching
the second year of his life and the father has been almost
non-existent. He has seen our son only twice and has sent him a total
of $1800.00 over the 2 years of his life. We are now approaching the
end of a interstate child support enforcement that has taken a year
and a half to finish. Unfortunately, when the father asked the
assistant DA if he would be credited for the amount he sent me before
the order was placed, they said no. So when he asked the DA what he
should do... he was informed that if he petitioned for a paternity
test, they would not make him pay from the time our son was born, only
from here on. I'm at an awe that someone working for the best interest
of children would advice a deadbeat dad on how to work the system.
Does anyone have any advice on this??? I'm so lost!!!

Side note: Before anyone attacks me by saying I'm being greedy or
money hungry... please understand I have a well paying job that allows
me and my son to live well above the comfort level, so money is the
last thing I'm hurting for. I'm just sad about the whole situation
and I'm curious to know if anyone has heard of this before.