"Praise is Dangerous"

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
(five pages long)

Bottom line: Don't praise kids for brains. That's only something
they're born with. Praise them for effort. Otherwise, they start to
think that working hard at a school assignment is for dummies - and
balk at anything they can't do well immediately.

It sounds like the difference pointed out, in the 1990s, between
American students and Japanese students. (THEY didn't get praised for
brains.)

http://nymag.com/nymag/letters/28157/
(responses - I thought this one was good:
I was frustrated that Po Bronson did not outline the differences
between praise ("You are smart") and unconditional love ("I believe in
you"). Emphasizing brains or beauty gives a message that the child
needs these traits to be lovable. But love and support should be given
consistently (like food and shelter). Sadly, praise is often a
substitute for intimacy-and this is when praise becomes dangerous.
-Vivien D. Wolsk, Manhattan


And:
http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=876

Lenona.

wrote in message
oups.com...
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
(five pages long)

Bottom line: Don't praise kids for brains. That's only something
they're born with. Praise them for effort. Otherwise, they start to
think that working hard at a school assignment is for dummies - and
balk at anything they can't do well immediately.

It sounds like the difference pointed out, in the 1990s, between
American students and Japanese students. (THEY didn't get praised for
brains.)

Do you think Japanese praise effort?

I'm not a Japanese expert, but my parents hail from an Asian nation. I can
tell you that they did not praise brains nor effort. They praised
grades --- and so did all their friends. It was the big thing to brag about
how well your kid did in school (and some would outright lie).

I heard stories about my dad getting beaten for getting poor grades. He had
lots of effort, but poor grades.

toypup wrote:
Do you think Japanese praise effort?

I'm not a Japanese expert, but my parents hail from an Asian nation. I can
tell you that they did not praise brains nor effort. They
praised grades --- and so did all their friends. It was the big thing to
brag about how well your kid did in school (and some would outright
lie).
I heard stories about my dad getting beaten for getting poor grades. He
had lots of effort, but poor grades.

In high school I had a Japanese friend. She always came top of the class.
When she once went home with 99% on a test, she got yelled at and her
parents asked "where's the other 1%?" She put in so much effort and got the
great grades, but even being top of the class wasn't enough for her parents.

Engram

On Mar 5, 9:59 pm, "toypup" wrote:
wrote in message

oups.com...

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
(five pages long)

Bottom line: Don't praise kids for brains. That's only something
they're born with. Praise them for effort. Otherwise, they start to
think that working hard at a school assignment is for dummies - and
balk at anything they can't do well immediately.

It sounds like the difference pointed out, in the 1990s, between
American students and Japanese students. (THEY didn't get praised for
brains.)

Do you think Japanese praise effort?

I'm not a Japanese expert, but my parents hail from an Asian nation. I can
tell you that they did not praise brains nor effort. They praised
grades --- and so did all their friends. It was the big thing to brag about
how well your kid did in school (and some would outright lie).

I heard stories about my dad getting beaten for getting poor grades. He had
lots of effort, but poor grades.

I think in those parts of the world good grades directly result in a
seat in good college and there by a good chance of landing a job. I
think it's a survival thing given the population density and lack of
opportunity for everyone.

I agree with you that this punishment is horrible.