OT "Let me hold the baby"

"Buzzy Bee" wrote in message
...
Might she have recently have a loss (and maybe not
told the rest of the family). I know I get pretty desperate
for a hold of a baby if one is around.

I'm 99% sure this wasn't the case in this particular situation, but it's
something I wouldn't have thought of and will now consider in the
future. {{{Megan}}}
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Karen" wrote in message
ink.net...
Wear him in a sling. That worked like a big "hands off'
sign for us.

Good tip, thanks.

We were very NOT into "passing around" the baby
and very into respecting his natural fears and
uncertainties.

Same here. If it didn't upset him so much, I wouldn't have a problem
with letting relatives hold him at a thing like this, but I can't stand
to hear him cry over it and what I really don't get is why anyone else
would want to make him cry just so they could hold him. I guess a mom
generally has different priorities than the rest of the world when it
comes to her kids.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"laurie" wrote in message
...
Did she at least have the good graces to give the
baby back, or did you have to pry him away?

No, they don't give him back (my mom does this too)! That's what really
bugs me, I guess, the disregard for the baby's feelings. Though I'm
sure it seemed like a much longer time to me than it actually was.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Melania" wrote in message

Wow, I guess this really is a YMMV sort of issue! Before ds was born,
dh and I discussed it and agreed that we were VERY into "passing
around" the baby, right from the start, because we each have relatives
who were highly protective and preferred not to let others hold the
baby very much, and their kids seemed to us to end up with a lot of
stranger anxiety and not do as well in loud/crowded social settings.
snip

I don't mind passing my baby to relatives and good friends as long as he is
happy with them. I've had several comments actually about how good I am
about letting other people hold him. However, if he is sad (like in Cheryl's
case) or if it is a total stranger (like the Wal-Mart greeter) then I like
him safe with me in the sling!

WRT stranger anxiety, I would like my DS to be comfortable with lots of
people and not be a total cling-on, but I do think that stranger anxiety
actually exists to serve a function--it seems as it Nature is providing for
the baby not to be snatched up by some marauder and made off with :-)

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

"Melania" wrote in message
Wow, I guess this really is a YMMV sort of issue!
[snippage]
It probably depends mostly on the child's personality,

IMO, it depends almost completely on the child's personality. Stephen, our
first, did not like to be passed around. I would have been happy to let
him, but he was very particular about how he was held, and usually I was the
only one who could really comfort him -- even DH wouldn't do. Sophia is
completely the opposite -- she will fall asleep in anyone's arms, and if I
have to take her back, it's usually for my comfort (boobs too full!), after
which she'll happily go to someone else. We haven't changed the way we
relate(d) to them; it was all their personalities.

Jan
--
Mum to Stephen, 22 May 2000
and Sophia, 2 October 2003
My personal page: http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/
Baby-related crafts: http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/crafts.html

"Nina" wrote in message
"Em" wrote
I'm shocked by how free people are with touching babies too! When people
at
the party that I know well touched him, it didn't seem so nervy, but I
had
virtual strangers come up and rub his back through the sling, etc. I've
also
had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch his face while he was in the sling!
Hello! I don't really know how to avoid it (though slinging him helps a
*lot*, because then no one tries to hold his hand or take him from me or
anything like that).


I cover my baby with a blanket and say she is either asleep or sick. Whens
he is in the carseat/carrier, I raise the handle and drape a blanket over
it.

I've tried keeping the tail of the sling over his head, but it annoys him
and he thrashes around trying to move it. One of the Wal-Mart greeters even
moved it once too, while I was getting my cart! (a different one than the
one that touched his face).

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

"Em" wrote in message
news:Ff1Bb.269859$Dw6.917891@attbi_s02...
I've also had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch
his face while he was in the sling! Hello!

When Julie was a baby, I once spoke to the customer service person after
the cashiers at Kroger touched her on several separate occasions. I
mean, cashiers are exposed to who-knows how many other people and
handling money all day (what's dirtier than money?) then they rub my
baby's hand which she then immediately starts sucking on...ick! Their
response when I nicely suggested they counsel their employees not to
touch babies, or at least to ask first, was "most customers *like* it
because it's friendly". *boggle*
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Em" wrote in message
news:TN5Bb.468472$Tr4.1291426@attbi_s03...
WRT stranger anxiety, I would like my DS to be
comfortable with lots of people and not be a total
cling-on, but I do think that stranger anxiety actually
exists to serve a function--it seems as it Nature is
providing for the baby not to be snatched up by
some marauder and made off with :-)

I think so too, but regardless of why it exists, it clearly does exist
in Jaden's case ATM, so I am going to respect his feelings. I don't
think it has anything to do with my letting or not letting other people
hold him though. Up until a couple weeks ago he would go to anyone.
Thanksgiving day was the first time he was upset by other people holding
him.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 8 mo.
And Jaden, 3 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
"Em" wrote in message
WRT stranger anxiety, I would like my DS to be
comfortable with lots of people and not be a total
cling-on, but I do think that stranger anxiety actually
exists to serve a function--it seems as it Nature is
providing for the baby not to be snatched up by
some marauder and made off with :-)

I think so too, but regardless of why it exists, it clearly does exist
in Jaden's case ATM, so I am going to respect his feelings. I don't
think it has anything to do with my letting or not letting other people
hold him though. Up until a couple weeks ago he would go to anyone.
Thanksgiving day was the first time he was upset by other people holding
him.

I totally agree. I think you should absolutely follow his cues and if he is
scared to be held by others, you shouldn't undermine his trust and force him
to be. What I was trying to point out in my post and re-reading it see that
I did not make clear, is that I do not necessarily think it is a good thing
to have a baby that "goes to anyone"--I think stranger anxiety is designed
to serve a protective purpose. (Obviously, babies have differing levels of
sociability and different definitions of who "strangers" are as well).

It is so neat to see how babies develop and change. Lann is younger than
Jaden and isn't to a stage where he cares very much who is holding him, but
lately he has started to do something kind of funny and cute--if someone
else is holding him and I walk by and say something to him he will start to
pump his legs really hard, smile, and then start to make a funny sort of low
little semi-plaintive growl/whine noise that I take to mean, "you hold me
now!"

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 11 weeks

Cheryl S. wrote:
"Em" wrote in message
news:Ff1Bb.269859$Dw6.917891@attbi_s02...

I've also had the greeter and Wal-Mart touch
his face while he was in the sling! Hello!


When Julie was a baby, I once spoke to the customer service person after
the cashiers at Kroger touched her on several separate occasions. I
mean, cashiers are exposed to who-knows how many other people and
handling money all day (what's dirtier than money?) then they rub my
baby's hand which she then immediately starts sucking on...ick! Their
response when I nicely suggested they counsel their employees not to
touch babies, or at least to ask first, was "most customers *like* it
because it's friendly". *boggle*



The serving staff at the hotel gma, DS and I stayed in on our return
from England in April were ODD. They were going so far as to wipe DS's
chin if he dribbled!!!! ("Don't want you to get a sore chinny" burbled
in embarrassingly awful babytalk....)

Disturbing, very weird, and annoying as hell...it was the first week the
hotel was open, and they were bizarrely over staffed in the restaraunt,
so we could barely eat for fending off servers.

(and for 20 pounds, the food was crap and the coffee damn near
undrinkable too! The room was fine, but going for food twice was twice
too many visits there and cost more than half my usual monthly bill for
groceries)

Dawn, also annoyed at the neighbor (who is a virtual stranger to us) who
will wrest DS from my arms to hold him if I don't move away fast enough.
(not surprised though, this is the same woman who showed up the morning
after my house fire asking for a tour of the damage)