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#1
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in need of some serious advice (international)
Hi,
I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation: I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she would not go. She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15) was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a hostal. I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship (which I nonetheless wanted out of). I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to do it in Bogota. A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants. We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support. However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse, and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me anything about this lawsuit. She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she threatened me once more with this lawsuit. Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk), and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment. I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication with her. I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot. Thanks, confused in Ecuador |
#2
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in need of some serious advice (international)
need advice wrote:
Hi, I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation: I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she would not go. She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15) was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a hostal. I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship (which I nonetheless wanted out of). I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to do it in Bogota. A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants. We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support. However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse, and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me anything about this lawsuit. She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she threatened me once more with this lawsuit. Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk), and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment. I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication with her. I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot. Thanks, confused in Ecuador 1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you know that now. 2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now. 3. Talk to a lawyer. Chris Owens -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#3
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in need of some serious advice (international)
need advice wrote:
Hi, I am in need of some serious legal advice-- here's the situation: I live in Ecuador. I dated and lived with a Colombian girl for one year and 4 months. Around January of this year I began to feel that she was only with me to take advantage of my money. I tried desperately to break up with her, but she continually lured me into having sex, and convincing me that she was sorry for all the lack of responsibility she took in our relationship. Around May I decided to end it once and for all. I told her to leave the apartment, but she would not go. She finally decided to leave, but only after asking me if she could stay one month more, as her 7 year-old child (who she had at age 15) was coming to visit, and it shamed her to stay with her daughter in a hostal. I gave in, stupidly. She continued to use me for sex, with my consent. At the beginning of June we found out she was pregnant. I asked what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to keep the child. She had been on the pill our whole relationship, which we had decided together, since we had had a serious, monogamous relationship (which I nonetheless wanted out of). I told her that as we were breaking up it would be better for her to have an abortion. At first she disagreed but then said ok, only if I would pay for it. I gave her the 400 dollars necessary, but she said she didn't trust in the abortion clinics in Ecuador, so she wanted to do it in Bogota. A week after her arriving there, she contacted me saying she had lost blood and that she decided not to abort. I tried to convince her (the wrong thing to do, of course), and later settled on that it is her decision, and that she can choose to keep the child if she wants. We argued for a long time, very heatedly, and finally last week settled on that we would solve this civilly. I told her that if the child were to be born, that I chose not to be a part of it's life, and that if it were legally necessary, I would help with child support. However, now she has threatened me with a lawsuit for verbal abuse, and keeps asking me for money for doctor's exams. Each time I ask her to send me copies of both the lawsuit and the exam results and receipts, she becomes mad and tells me that I have to be present next month in Bogota for the case. She never, however, has sent me anything about this lawsuit. She now says that she wants to visit Ecuador to speak with me face to face, and when I asked her to bring the paperwork with her, she threatened me once more with this lawsuit. Even so, she tells me that when she comes to Ecuador she wants to stay at my house, to which I tell her no way, that I don't want anything to do with her or this child, that I'm willing to legally do what is necessary if and when the child is born (her pregnancy is high risk), and that if she decides to visit Ecuador again I would meet her, but under no circumstances could she stay at my apartment. I've received a lot of advice on this, but no legal advice, besides the US Embassy, which told me that I would be better off getting out of Ecuador, never going to Colombia, and cutting off all communication with her. I am very scared about the legal repercussions of doing that, and I would like to know what my rights and options are at this point. If anyone can help me, I would appreciate it a lot. Thanks, confused in Ecuador 1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you know that now. 2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now. 3. Talk to a lawyer. Chris Owens -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#4
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in need of some serious advice (international)
Chris Owens wrote:
1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you know that now. 2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now. 3. Talk to a lawyer. Chris Owens Very good advice. Take it. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M.D., FACS, P. C. 2500 Milvia Street Suite 222 Berkeley, California 94704-2636 USA Telephone: 510-849-2555 FAX: 510-849-2557 http://www.rafink.com "Ex Tristitia Virtus" |
#5
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in need of some serious advice (international)
Chris Owens wrote:
1. Continuing to have sexual contact with someone with whom you ostensibly want to end a relationship is pretty dumb; but, you know that now. 2. Get OUT of Ecuador, and DO NOT go to Columbia for now. 3. Talk to a lawyer. Chris Owens Very good advice. Take it. Best, Bob Robert A. Fink, M.D., FACS, P. C. 2500 Milvia Street Suite 222 Berkeley, California 94704-2636 USA Telephone: 510-849-2555 FAX: 510-849-2557 http://www.rafink.com "Ex Tristitia Virtus" |
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