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#11
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"lm" wrote in message ... On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 17:47:25 -0500 (EST), (Bebe lestrnge) wrote: (Joelle wrote...) I'm not saying it's not a great thing that you are stepping in for this child, but it's gonna get dicey and if his parents haven't stepped up to the plate by now, they probably aren't going to. (then Bebe wrote...) right again Joelle, They won't be and I guess again I am just ticked about their lack of consideration . I guess I should of realised after his mother refused to attend the baby shower that things would be this way. My daughter has mentioned "child support" from her boyfriend and I was truthful to her .....I said" it is your right to do so but think it through it could cause a problem with him and his parents." So far she has let it be. He does buy the babies diapers and wipes which does help a great deal. This is so hard for me to stand back and I thank you for your honesty with me. The other grandparents may believe that they're doing the right thing by not helping out, thereby forcing the parents to face their responsibility. They may believe that you are keeping the parents from growing up by helping out. It doesn't sound like that's the case, but parenting styles differ greatly. Certainly the father should be doing more than buying diapers and wipes. If you are helping them out so as not to make waves between the families, and she is learning from you that she should not expect the father to do his part so as not to make waves between the families, you and your daughter will be on your own with this little one in no time. She needs to speak up for her child's needs and your support (moral support, not doing it for her) in that regard would probably be very helpful to her. lm And how much is the child's mother 'helping' out. The father has a part time job to help pay expenses....does she? |
#12
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... And how much is the child's mother 'helping' out. The father has a part time job to help pay expenses....does she? Actually Paul, good point. When I figured what to ask for child support, it was not to support me but the kids. I figured I am responsible for half. The other parent is too. So why is child support 33%? Go get your calculator out now and let me know. Vicky |
#13
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Joelle" wrote in message ... She has said in anger to her b/f that his parents do nothing to help and hers do everything , I heard this and felt good that she sees all we do and sad See, seeing her resent her boyfriend because her mom does more than his parents should not make you feel good. It should worry you. What that child needs is stable mother and father, together if possible. Already this is a bad set up for the father- he's set up to be a failure compared to his girlfriend's mother. This is going to make him resent you, resent her, and maybe even withdraw more from his child because he feels he can't live up. You probably should stop advising your daughter, treat her like the adult she needs to be, but if you are going to advise her tell her to stop ragging on her boyfriend and instead give him positive feedback for what he does do for the family. She is having a hard time accepting that at 16 this is the way it has to be for them I know it's hard to make them see that before the baby comes. But yea, that's her life. She gives up a lot. But help her see what she gains. I am leaning towards suggesting to Sara to get legal custody of the baby and seek legal support from Jimmy so this crap can stop. I think you need to stay out of it. I agree. She will only resent you if they can keep it together and her young mind will blame you later. I promise this is the mind of a young person. If I were in a similar situation, I would ensure the baby had exactly what was needed, buying it myself. I would give them a schedule of when I would be able to keep my granddaughter. I would not sway from my decision and be firm, yet loving. If approached, a possible reply would be, "honey, I hope you guys can work it out. Maybe counseling or talking to a preist, pastor, etc would help?" I will even drive you. Best of luck. Vicky Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#14
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Hello, way long sorry.....
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#15
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"V" wrote in message ... "Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... And how much is the child's mother 'helping' out. The father has a part time job to help pay expenses....does she? Actually Paul, good point. When I figured what to ask for child support, it was not to support me but the kids. I figured I am responsible for half. The other parent is too. So why is child support 33%? 33% of what? What YOU chose to spend on the kids? BTW.....since the is absolutlely no restrictions on what YOU spend the money on, it is for you. Go get your calculator out now and let me know. Vicky |
#17
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Hello, way long sorry.....
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#18
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Hello, way long sorry.....
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#19
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Hello, way long sorry.....
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#20
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percentage of child support
"P.Fritz" wrote in message ... in response to Vicky's comment on the set percent of child support that non custodial parents are required to pay by law: 33% of what? What YOU chose to spend on the kids? There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. BTW.....since the is absolutlely no restrictions on what YOU spend the money on, it is for you. Of course there is: I have a conscious! If I were a crack headed whore, maybe I would buy dope with it. For now, I choose to utilize the money to aid in my children's future. I was trying to say something totally different and I believe you misconstrued it. V |
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