Screaming toddler

I know that screaming is quite normal behavior in toddlers. Vernon's
screaming doesn't generally bother me, and it's mostly of the good-natured,
happy squealing variety (although we do, of course, get the occasional
temper-tantrum version as well). The reason I'm posting is because there are
two situations when he starts this sort of screaming that I find genuinely
intolerable: the first is when I'm driving in the car and the second is when
we are in a public, enclosed space like a restroom. In both situations, the
scream is so loud as to be deafening. At least in the car, it's only my
husband and I who are subjected to it, but in public restrooms and the like,
*other* people's hearing is being damaged. I can tell by some of the dirty
looks and comments I've heard that people are irritated that I can't
"control" him and keep him from screaming, but I'm sort of stumped as to how
to stop it when I'm sitting on the toilet (or driving, for the matter). It
doesn't help that he has discovered that bathrooms echo, and he loves to
hear the sound of his screams reverberating!

So, my question is--what, if anything, can I do to curb/reduce this behavior
when I'm incapable of stopping it by physically intervening? I'm sure it
will pass eventually, but it seems to me that this has been going on for at
least six months now.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [19mo] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"Together we help the future grow." -- School slogan

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Circe wrote:

So, my question is--what, if anything, can I do to curb/reduce this behavior
when I'm incapable of stopping it by physically intervening? I'm sure it
will pass eventually, but it seems to me that this has been going on for at
least six months now.

We are experiencing the same problem. Usually I have to resort
to either singing a song in a soft voice or whispering to him.
Since DS is still in the stage where he will imitate everything
we do, he will follow our lead and usually stops screaming.
However, in places were there is a good acoustics, he still
needs to test it at least once or twice. I let him, but after
that it's enough and I try to distract him.

We also try to tell him "we don't like it when you scream", but
that's mainly for future purposes, as he is too young to really
grasp our meaning. Although, sometimes it works.

--
-- I
mommy to DS (14m)
guardian of DH
EDD 05-17-2004
War doesn't decide who's right - only who's left

So, my question is--what, if anything, can I do to curb/reduce this
behavior
when I'm incapable of stopping it by physically intervening? I'm sure it
will pass eventually, but it seems to me that this has been going on for
at
least six months now.
--
Be well, Barbara


Oh Lewis *loves* to scream in public bathrooms - lol. Luckily it's
sing-songy noises and I can hear people in the other stalls giggling

I think Patrick was the screamer. In the car I just turned the radio up -
way up. Not giving attention to it was better with him.

6 months is quite a while. Sometimes I pat my hand on Lewis' mouth if he's
screaming/yelling/talking loudly so he ends up making that wah-wah-wah sound
then he laughs and forgets about being loud. Lots of distraction is
involved.

Good luck.

On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 08:13:50 -0700, "Circe" wrote:

I know that screaming is quite normal behavior in toddlers. Vernon's
screaming doesn't generally bother me, and it's mostly of the good-natured,
happy squealing variety (although we do, of course, get the occasional
temper-tantrum version as well). The reason I'm posting is because there are
two situations when he starts this sort of screaming that I find genuinely
intolerable: the first is when I'm driving in the car and the second is when
we are in a public, enclosed space like a restroom. In both situations, the
scream is so loud as to be deafening. At least in the car, it's only my
husband and I who are subjected to it, but in public restrooms and the like,
*other* people's hearing is being damaged. I can tell by some of the dirty
looks and comments I've heard that people are irritated that I can't
"control" him and keep him from screaming, but I'm sort of stumped as to how
to stop it when I'm sitting on the toilet (or driving, for the matter). It
doesn't help that he has discovered that bathrooms echo, and he loves to
hear the sound of his screams reverberating!

So, my question is--what, if anything, can I do to curb/reduce this behavior
when I'm incapable of stopping it by physically intervening? I'm sure it
will pass eventually, but it seems to me that this has been going on for at
least six months now.

When you are driving, stop the car and pull over to the side of the
road as soon as it begins. Calmly say: *If you scream, the car
stops because I cannot drive safely with that noise.* Go on only
when he stops and stop every time.

If possible, leave him with dad when you must use the restroom when
you are out. Find some lovely tunnels in a park where he can scream
and make the echos so that he has a chance to get it out of his
system. Tell him *we can go to the park tunnel and scream after we
finish this errand* and keep your promise. You might also try
whispering to him. *Vernon, can you hear the song I am whispering?*
If you sing softy, he may get interested in that and stop. Try also
to sing your directions to him and have some special toy he can play
with that only comes out when you are in the rest room.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"toto" wrote in message
...
When you are driving, stop the car and pull over to the side of the
road as soon as it begins. Calmly say: *If you scream, the car
stops because I cannot drive safely with that noise.* Go on only
when he stops and stop every time.

I knew someone was going to suggest this, but it truly isn't practical. When
you're flying down the freeway at 65mph, you can't just pull over
mid-scream. And usually, when we're in the car, we're on the way to
someplace with a time limitation--taking one of the other kids to school or
picking him/her up, driving to a soccer game/practice, etc. Aside from
which, I don't believe for one instant it would phase him or stop him. *He*
has no particular desire to go anywhere and if he likes screaming, he'll
scream whether the car is motionless or not. I simply can't sit parked by
the side of the road for 10 minutes while waiting for him to stop; I don't
have the time to do that. And if he *did* stop after 10 minutes and we
started moving again, I don't believe he'd view that as any sort of reward
for stopping the screaming--again, he has no particular interest in going to
soccer games or driving Aurora to school, so why would it matter to him
whether we stopped or started?

If possible, leave him with dad when you must use the restroom when
you are out.

I usually have to run errands without my husband along. I avoid using the
restroom altogether when I have only Vernon with me, but if one of the kids
has to use the toilet while we're out, we all have to go in and if I need to
go, I won't *not* go. Even if I don't go, I can't stop Vernon from screaming
while I'm helping Aurora with wiping and hand-washing (she's not tall enough
to reach the sinks in most public restrooms).
Find some lovely tunnels in a park where he can scream

and make the echos so that he has a chance to get it out of his
system. Tell him *we can go to the park tunnel and scream after we
finish this errand* and keep your promise. You might also try
whispering to him. *Vernon, can you hear the song I am whispering?*
If you sing softy, he may get interested in that and stop. Try also
to sing your directions to him and have some special toy he can play
with that only comes out when you are in the rest room.

These are good ideas, although I'm not sure he's old enough/verbally aware
enough to understand a promise of a future scream-fest in exchange for not
screaming now--he *is* only 19 months old, after all!

Thanks, Dorothy.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [19mo] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"Together we help the future grow." -- School slogan

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

LOL, Barb. I went through this. I don't really think I did much of anything
though. It was hard to stop, especially so young. They didn't really
understand. I used quiet voices, but mostly I ignored it and it did go away.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

Circe wrote in message
news:GnUib.19220$hp5.2604@fed1read04...
I know that screaming is quite normal behavior in toddlers. Vernon's
screaming doesn't generally bother me, and it's mostly of the
good-natured,
happy squealing variety (although we do, of course, get the occasional
temper-tantrum version as well). The reason I'm posting is because there
are
two situations when he starts this sort of screaming that I find genuinely
intolerable: the first is when I'm driving in the car and the second is
when
we are in a public, enclosed space like a restroom. In both situations,
the
scream is so loud as to be deafening. At least in the car, it's only my
husband and I who are subjected to it, but in public restrooms and the
like,
*other* people's hearing is being damaged. I can tell by some of the dirty
looks and comments I've heard that people are irritated that I can't
"control" him and keep him from screaming, but I'm sort of stumped as to
how
to stop it when I'm sitting on the toilet (or driving, for the matter). It
doesn't help that he has discovered that bathrooms echo, and he loves to
hear the sound of his screams reverberating!

So, my question is--what, if anything, can I do to curb/reduce this
behavior
when I'm incapable of stopping it by physically intervening? I'm sure it
will pass eventually, but it seems to me that this has been going on for
at
least six months now.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [19mo] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"Together we help the future grow." -- School slogan

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"Circe" wrote in message news:O9Zib.19379$hp5.16851@fed1read04...

These are good ideas, although I'm not sure he's old enough/verbally aware
enough to understand a promise of a future scream-fest in exchange for not
screaming now--he *is* only 19 months old, after all!

I don't have much to offer, Barbara except for sympathy. My oldest
*still* at age EIGHT does this sudden yelling thing. Usually its a
"Woo-hoo!" because he's looking at something he thinks is cool or a
very, very loud yawn or similar. It's just to break the silence or to
turn the attention to him.

And youngest boy (maybe it's truly a guy thing) simply has a loud
speaking voice. We were in a restaurant the other day and I got up to
use the restroom which was ALL the way on the other side of a
good-sized dining area. I could hear my youngest all the way there and
all the way back. He was just talking about his food, the
surroundings, etc. But it sounded like he was yelling. I can't get him
to be any quieter unless he's asleep!

Is Vernon just screaming for the heck of it or is he mad about
something at the time? (You may have said...can't go back easily in
Google.)

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

This is really why I wanted to respond.

This reminds me of an exchange with my husband and my daughter when
Korinna was about 3. She was standing by the TV, video cassette in one
hand, well-worn and taped up box for cassette on the shelf beside her.
Dad says: "Put the tape in the machine." She gave him a blank look.
"The tape sweetie, in your hand." (Dad points to cassette.)

She says: "Dis not 'tape.'" (Points to box) "*Dat's* tape."

- Bev

On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 14:00:48 -0400, "Sophie" wrote:

I think Patrick was the screamer. In the car I just turned the radio up -
way up. Not giving attention to it was better with him.

That's exactly what I do when DD#2 starts yelling in the car. Both of the girls
are screamers and their screams, I swear, could shatter glass.

In public, when DD#2 starts (and she will throw a full-blown tantrum if she's
even slightly tired and gets mad), I'll take her aside and tell her very clearly
if she doesn't stop screaming, we're going to go home *right now* and take a
nap. Usually she's able to get herself under control because she seems to
operate under the notion that Naps Are Bad Things.



Tracy
======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================

On 15 Oct 2003 08:42:01 -0700, (Bev Brandt) wrote:

And youngest boy (maybe it's truly a guy thing) simply has a loud
speaking voice. We were in a restaurant the other day and I got up to
use the restroom which was ALL the way on the other side of a
good-sized dining area. I could hear my youngest all the way there and
all the way back. He was just talking about his food, the
surroundings, etc. But it sounded like he was yelling. I can't get him
to be any quieter unless he's asleep!

Bev, how old is he?

My 8 yo DS is the loudest kid I've ever met. I know it's not something he tries
to do; it's just how he is. He walks heavy, he talks loudly, he's a door
slammer. There are so many times that I have to stop him and say, "You're
talking too loud again; please lower the volume." It works, but only for a few
minutes. We've been working on the door slamming, but it's habit for him at this
point. Part of the problem, I think, is that he's always in a hurry to get on to
the next thing, so he's not paying attention to how loud he's being at the
moment.

His hearing was just checked and it's fine, so I guess he's just a loud kid.
Drives me batty, though, since I seem to be sensitive to loud noises.



Tracy
======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================

"Bev Brandt" wrote in message
om...
"Circe" wrote in message
news:O9Zib.19379$hp5.16851@fed1read04...
These are good ideas, although I'm not sure he's old enough/verbally
aware
enough to understand a promise of a future scream-fest in exchange for
not
screaming now--he *is* only 19 months old, after all!

I don't have much to offer, Barbara except for sympathy.

Hey, sympathy is good. Ear plugs might be better g.

Is Vernon just screaming for the heck of it or is he mad about
something at the time? (You may have said...can't go back easily in
Google.)

Depends on the context. Sometimes when he's screaming in the car, he seems
to be annoyed about something: a dropped toy or drink, the fact that we're
not moving (he'll scream "Go, go!" when we're idling at stoplights), etc.
Other times, though, it's more of a happy, testing-my-volume sort of squeal.
That's definitely what he's doing in public spaces with an echo. In general,
he just seems to like to scream and hear the sound of his own voice. It
doesn't help that his sister, in particular, is wont to egg him on by
screaming back (though she gets roundly chastized for doing so and certainly
knows she shouldn't!).

Honestly, screaming is such a common thing in the 1-2yo set that I wouldn't
even have posted about it except that it doesn't seem to be the intermittent
behavior it was with the first two. My husband was complaining about it the
other day and I said, "Well, you know, it's just a phase." And he said,
"This phase has been going on for six months, though!" He has a point. I
think both of the other kids went through brief screaming phases, but never
for more than a few weeks at a stretch without giving it up for a while and
then coming back to it. Vernon just never quits g! Of course, he's the
Energizer Bunny toddler anyway, so it's probably to be expected given his
personality. (Like your youngest, he seems on course to have the gross motor
skills of a 3yo before he turns two--he already walks down stairs without
holding the railing or a hand, which can be quite hair raising to watch!)

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

This is really why I wanted to respond.

This reminds me of an exchange with my husband and my daughter when
Korinna was about 3. She was standing by the TV, video cassette in one
hand, well-worn and taped up box for cassette on the shelf beside her.
Dad says: "Put the tape in the machine." She gave him a blank look.
"The tape sweetie, in your hand." (Dad points to cassette.)

She says: "Dis not 'tape.'" (Points to box) "*Dat's* tape."

LOL! Great story.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [19mo] mom)

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"Together we help the future grow." -- School slogan

Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning.
Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls!

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman