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Two year old grandaughter who has severe temper tandrums



 
 
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Old December 9th 07, 07:12 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
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Default Two year old grandaughter who has severe temper tandrums

My wife and I took our grandaughter out to eat in a very nice
restaurant and after sitting in her highchair she began to scream and
holler like she was in the worst pain of her life. She Had A Temper
Tandrum. I took her out of the restaurant and put her in the backseat
of the car and she proceeded with her tandrum on the floorboard of the
car while I stood next to the car waiting for her to finish her
tandrum while my wife packed up the remainder of the uneaten food in
the restaurant. I picked up the grandaughter off the floorboard for
fear that she might hurt herself and placed her in the carseat and
continued to wait hoping this ordeal would be over soon. Just before
my wife came out of the hospital this girl stopped he tandrum as
quickly as she had started it. The temper tandrum took a very long 20
minutes and all of the time I was wondering whether she might need
medication? After she had finished her tandrum she acted like nothing
had happened. The temper tandrums have gotten so bad that I told my
wife that this grandaughter would no longer be to live with us if she
did not stop with her negative behavior. My thinking is that our
grandaughter may need some psychiatric drug to slow her behavior. She
told me that the grandaughter is just a toddler and that I did know
raise children. I do not not know how much longer this will go on. O,
I forgot to say that this child is a very spoiled child.
  #2  
Old December 12th 07, 08:42 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
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Default Two year old grandaughter who has severe temper tandrums


Hi Hunter, I have 4 yr old triplets and another one that just turned
2. I have been through similar experiences with my children. I have
some thoughts that may help you figure out what happened with her.
There could be many reasons that your granddaughter threw a fit. Here
are a few ideas.

- Is it possible that she is tired and just needs a nap? When the
kids start to cry uncontrollably, or scream around naptime, it's
usually because they are over-tired and should have been put down for
a nap earlier in the day.
- Some children get overstimulated and can't handle the extra noise or
people around them. How does she behave other times when you are out
in public (example: going to the store, at church) does she scream
and throw fits then too?
- Childen at 2, even with a decent vocabulary have a hard time
expressing their feelings, or don't even know how to express what they
are feeling and as a result behave unappropriately, such as screaming
in public.
- 2 yr olds start to practice their independent skills, and let their
wants be known. For example, yesterday, like you, I took my 2 yr old
daughter with me to a new restaurant. Bread slices were brought to
the table along with individually wrapped pats of butter. I buttered
a piece of bread for myself, and then started to do one for her. She
started screaming because she wanted bread buttered with a "NEW"
unwrapped butter, not the one I opened to butter my bread. Then she
got a plate of fruit and I got a bowl of soup. She didn't want her
fruit, she wanted my soup, and she wanted to serve herself. I
reluctantly gave in to her screaming for my soup until she was just
making too much of a mess with the spilled soup. She didn't want me
to give her any. We ended up taking our food home because she
wouldn't stop screaming. She does this at home too, usually with her
telling me "I do it!" Yesterday, while at this restaurant, I knew
that it was past her nap time and I chalked a large part of the
tantrum up to that.
- She could be learning her boundries and was testing them to see how
you would handle it. Does she get rewarded for her tantrum (like my
daughter did yesterday getting my soup, and then was given a cookie by
the restaurant owner) or do you immediately let her know it is
unacceptable?

You did the right thing in removing her from the restaurant. While it
causes you some embarrassment and annoyance at not being able to
finish your nice meal, it showed her that that kind of behavior in
public will not be tolerated. Don't give up on her! Your wife is
right to tell you that this is normal 2 yr old behavior. You might
have to decide to forgo the restaurants for a while until this growing
stage is past. But through it all, make sure she knows, EACH TIME
that this is not acceptable behavior. If you are at home, put her in
time out, or place her in her bed and let her scream it out, close the
bedroom door or get out of her field of vision so she no longer knows
she has an audience. I have even flicked my childs mouth when they
have screamed. When she learns that you won't put up with her
screaming, she will do it less and less. My son Andy used to scream a
lot until I started sending him to his room. He hated the thought
that he didn't have an audience, and he quickly stopped. But you need
to be consistant.

You said she was living with you. Do you have gardenship over her?
You kind of made it sound like the living arrangements were optional
"She will no longer be living with us if this negative behavior
continues." Does her mother or father live with you as well? Is this
a new living arrangement? Does she need to go through an adjustment
period?

I am not a child behavior expert so you can take or leave my advice.
Just remember that there are many more good days than bad and the
rewards of living with a two year old far outweigh the bad.

Oh one more thing . . . if she is being spoiled. . . that needs to
end. While a little bit of spoiling can be a good thing, too much
does considerable harm to a child. They need to learn limits, and
even how to deal with disappointment when they don't get their own
way. I have also learned from my kids that more toys don't equal
happier kids.

Gayle
 




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