The faces of foster care

The faces of foster care
Chad Morelli
Of the Suburban Journals
Collinsville Herald
05/24/2006


Michael Stockley looks back at a childhood filled with pain and
suffering, and he smiles.

"I think about it, and honestly, I'm just glad I'm alive," Stockley
said. "It was rough back then. Sometimes I
can't believe I made it through all of that."

Stockley, now 29, was born to a cocaine-addicted mother in Belleville,
never knew his father, and was
raised by his uncle through much of his early childhood. By the time
he was 12, he had lived in six
different cities and was already experiencing a wide-range of
emotional and psychological distress.

The only thing that saved him, he said, was foster care.

"I think you'll hear a lot of people that came through the system say
that," Stockley said. "It might be the
only time I ever felt safe in my life."

Stockley's experience with foster parents was far from perfect. He
first entered the foster care system
when he was 13, after his mother went to prison on drug-related
charges and his other family members
were no longer able to care for him. He was rowdy, uncontrollable and
prone to violent outbursts.

"I already felt like I was the worst kid in the world, and no one was
going to change that," Stockley said. "I
felt like I didn't deserve parents."

Stockley's first experience with a foster family lasted less than a
year. He takes the blame for that,
saying he refused to let people help him. By the time he was 14, he
was living in a shelter in Granite City
and was ready to give foster parents another opportunity.

In this case, the second time was a charm.

Stockley was placed into a home in Edwardsville and started to settle
down. His life was still far from
perfect, but he was on the right track. He lived with his foster
family for the next three years, received a
GED, and started working as a delivery driver.

By the time he was 20, he was entirely on his own, working full time
and living in a small apartment just
outside of St. Louis. He now works as an assistant supervisor for an
overnight delivery company in
Chicago and is looking at buying a house.

"Honestly, without having those foster parents to get me straightened
out, I don't know where I would be,"
Stockley said. "Probably dead."

Experts in the foster care system will say that Stockley's story is
not unique. Every day there are
tragedies that leave youngsters without a place to live. For many
local caseworkers, those stories hit
home.



Finding families

At the Catholic Charities center on State Street in Granite City, area
director Mary Phillips hears about the
need for foster care on a daily basis. Her organization works around
the clock recruiting foster families,
training parents to deal with the challenges of having a foster child,
and placing kids into warm, loving
environments.

"I don't think anyone would say that it's an easy thing to do,"
Phillips said. "But it is a vitally important
process. And we're there for support every step of the way."

Catholic Charities runs a month-long campaign during May, officially
recognized as National Foster
Care Month, hoping to recruit foster parents. Carolyn Yinger, the
foster home licensing representative for
Catholic Charities, said there continues to be an enormous need for
foster parents.

"We get calls every day from local shelters," Yinger said. "They have
children there that need a home.
These kids need something more stable than a shelter."

Yinger said that foster care is a far better alternative than many of
the other services provided to children
who are wards of the state. Yinger's goal is to get kids off the
street and out of the shelter and place them
into a home with well-trained foster parents.

"Shelters are meant for temporary housing, and it's no place for a
child to grow up," Yinger said. "That's
what foster care is for."

The goal of foster care is to reunite families, Yinger said. In a
typical case, a child will stay with a foster
family for about a year. During that time, the court system attempts
to rehabilitate the child's biological
family. The natural parents may be sent to rehabilitation clinics,
counseling, or be asked to enroll in
therapy.

When the situation has been repaired, the foster kids may return to
their biological families, Yinger said.

Finding families is not always easy. About 17,000 kids will be placed
into foster care this year in Illinois,
placing some huge demands on the system. Yinger is doing her part, and
as a licensed foster care
provider, she currently serves as the foster mother for a 15-year-old
girl. Yinger has welcomed other
foster children into her home over the past several years, providing a
stable environment for children
who need her assistance.

She hopes other families in the area will also look into becoming
caregivers.

"If you can look beyond their behavior and try to understand what
these kids have been through, you
can be a foster parent," Yinger said. "Most of all, you have to be
patient and compassionate."



Requirements and support

Michael Bollman, a resources specialist with the Department of
Children and Family Services, said he
receives around 20 inquiries per month from Metro East residents
interested in becoming foster parents.
Only a few of those individuals actually take the next step, coming in
to discuss the possibility of
becoming a registered foster care provider.

Even after a person agrees to become registered, they face weeks of
training and mountains of
paperwork before they will ever be allowed to take in a child.

"It's a rather extensive process, but we do that for the health and
safety of everyone involved," Bollman
said. "We want these parents to be as prepared as possible. To be
successful, it has to be a team effort
between the case worker and the foster parents. That's the only way to
succeed."

Illinois requires foster parents to receive 27 hours of training
classes. Many parents will attend additional
seminars and learning sessions to gather more information on
everything from behavioral disorders to
the developmental needs of young children.

"This isn't parent training; it's foster parent training," Bollman
explained. "Some of these foster parents
may face situations that ordinary people would never have to deal
with."

The Department of Children and Family Services has offices throughout
Madison County, with a local
branch in Granite City on Johnson Road. The agency sponsors a number
of training and information
seminars every year, Bollman said. There are also dozens of programs
that provide support for foster
parents, he said.

Foster parents often receive anywhere between $15,000 and $35,000
annually for each child in their
care, depending on the needs of the individual foster children. In
cases where families are caring for
multiple foster children, even more money can be available.

"Most people become foster parents just out of the goodness of their
hearts," Bollman said. "Money
really isn't the issue. With all of the training and time and effort,
it's something you have to be committed
to. You have to have your heart in it."

Bollman agrees that there is a definite need for more foster parents,
especially for people who are
willing to take in teenagers with behavioral issues. He said his
agency is always seeking dedicated,
talented individuals to provide foster care.

"We're basically asking people to meet these kids and give them a
chance, to give them a home,"
Bollman said. "When people step forward and offer to do that, it's
amazing thing to be a part of."

For more information about becoming a registered foster care provider,
call 800-572-2390
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/nei...0?OpenDocument
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