anxiety

I know with having a new baby there is a lot to worry about, but how
common is anxiety PPD. Basically is this an everyday scenario in the
world of me,
I'll be walking on pavement carrying my son, and images of me dropping
him and him splitting his head open and bleeding to death run through
my mind. So I have to come up with a plan of what I'll do if this
should occur. I'll check to see if I have my cell phone to call 911.
I'll check my diaper bag to make sure I have something I can use to
stop the bleeding, I'll look to see who is around me that I can use to
drive me to the hospital while I'm holding me son. Once I come up
with a game plan to remedy the imagined situation I'm fine.

Same with when I walk downstairs. or I'll trip over my feet and catch
myself and then I am flooded with images of me falling on the baby and
killing him. For awhile I had my husband carry him most of the time
when we were out b/c I felt like I was unsafe b/c of how clumsy I am.
I've gotten over that.

But it seems like I'm constantly planning for something horrible to
happen. like I'll run downstairs in the morning with the baby safe in
his nursery and I won't hear anything so I have to sprint upstairs to
make sure the absolute worse case scenario that is playing out in my
mind isn't happening to my son.

Is this normal, will it go away? Should I just ignore it? I've sort
of always been this way, like for example I have a plan to get
everyone out of my house in case someone breaks in, and I have a very
detailed plan with back up contingent plans. Before I go to bed at
night when my husband is away I play through in my mind every worst
case scenario, and then come up with plans of attack, like the one
listed above. Then and only then can I even think about going to
sleep. Maybe I'm a functioning lunatic. Kind of like a functioning
alcoholic.

LOL after reading what I wrote I think I am certifiable. Is anyone
else dealing with this and if so do you just accept this as your
thought process and go on. I think I sort of have accepted this is
just the way I think and deal with it, but my husband thinks I should
talk to someone.

"Anna.Nicole.m" wrote in message
oups.com...
I know with having a new baby there is a lot to worry about, but how
common is anxiety PPD. Basically is this an everyday scenario in the
world of me,
I'll be walking on pavement carrying my son, and images of me dropping
him and him splitting his head open and bleeding to death run through
my mind. So I have to come up with a plan of what I'll do if this
should occur. I'll check to see if I have my cell phone to call 911.
I'll check my diaper bag to make sure I have something I can use to
stop the bleeding, I'll look to see who is around me that I can use to
drive me to the hospital while I'm holding me son. Once I come up
with a game plan to remedy the imagined situation I'm fine.

Same with when I walk downstairs. or I'll trip over my feet and catch
myself and then I am flooded with images of me falling on the baby and
killing him. For awhile I had my husband carry him most of the time
when we were out b/c I felt like I was unsafe b/c of how clumsy I am.
I've gotten over that.

But it seems like I'm constantly planning for something horrible to
happen. like I'll run downstairs in the morning with the baby safe in
his nursery and I won't hear anything so I have to sprint upstairs to
make sure the absolute worse case scenario that is playing out in my
mind isn't happening to my son.

I've had this, where I'll sort of imagine me tripping and seeing baby's head
going straight for the corner of a brick wall and nothing I can do about it.
It used to worry me that it was a premonition (my mum gets them
occasionally) but none of it has ever happened :-)
I think it's quite common to imagine this sort of thing-particularly I found
situations where it was sort of my fault, but nothing I could do about it,
and I discussed this once with a group of mothers and found that almost all
had had this.
As the children got older it very much went. I still occasionally see myself
doing something like running holding #2's hand and running her straight into
the wall or something, but I don't get it with #1 at all. Having baby in a
sling helped me worrying about dropping baby.
Debbie

Is this normal, will it go away? Should I just ignore it? I've sort
of always been this way, like for example I have a plan to get
everyone out of my house in case someone breaks in, and I have a very
detailed plan with back up contingent plans. Before I go to bed at
night when my husband is away I play through in my mind every worst
case scenario, and then come up with plans of attack, like the one
listed above. Then and only then can I even think about going to
sleep. Maybe I'm a functioning lunatic. Kind of like a functioning
alcoholic.

LOL after reading what I wrote I think I am certifiable. Is anyone
else dealing with this and if so do you just accept this as your
thought process and go on. I think I sort of have accepted this is
just the way I think and deal with it, but my husband thinks I should
talk to someone.

I don't think anxiety is uncommon or unusual in new mums, in many ways it's
fairly natural, having been entrusted with a new life, completely dependent
on you. There are people out there who see PPD as much the same thing, just
more complex in terms of cause and affect, I'm not entirely convinced, but I
suspect it's a factor in a proportion of cases.

From what you are saying it sounds to me like you just have anxiety, not any
kind of depression, treating depression would likely not help your anxiety
(I think there are a couple of antidepressants, that do help, but I don't
think they are amongst the ones that are "best" for breastfeeding). There
are anti anxiety meds you can take whilst breastfeeding, but though it
sounds like you have quite a big problem with this, it doesn't sound like
you have a lot of physical symptoms, it sounds to me that it's much more
thought based, where if any kind of therapy would help, it would be some
kind of talking therapy.

I think it would be worth paying a visit to your primary care doctor, but
make it clear you are not wanting to start off with medication, it would be
very easy to send you off with a prescription for Zoloft. Also check out
your insurance as to how you can access talking therapies, we can get basic
counselling direct through my husbands work, not through insurance.

Cheers

Anne

I think that talking to someone would be a good idea. I would think that
PPD can manifest itself in different ways for different people. For those
with a history or tendancy of depression, it would manifest in that way.
For someone like you, with a history and tendancy for anxiety issues, it's
going to manifest as even more heightened anxiety. Talk to your doctor and
see about some counseling and/or meds.

Hugs and good luck. You are not crazy, just need a little assistance with
the hormone issue you got going on.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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"Anna.Nicole.m" wrote in message
oups.com...
I know with having a new baby there is a lot to worry about, but how
common is anxiety PPD. Basically is this an everyday scenario in the
world of me,
I'll be walking on pavement carrying my son, and images of me dropping
him and him splitting his head open and bleeding to death run through
my mind. So I have to come up with a plan of what I'll do if this
should occur. I'll check to see if I have my cell phone to call 911.
I'll check my diaper bag to make sure I have something I can use to
stop the bleeding, I'll look to see who is around me that I can use to
drive me to the hospital while I'm holding me son. Once I come up
with a game plan to remedy the imagined situation I'm fine.

Same with when I walk downstairs. or I'll trip over my feet and catch
myself and then I am flooded with images of me falling on the baby and
killing him. For awhile I had my husband carry him most of the time
when we were out b/c I felt like I was unsafe b/c of how clumsy I am.
I've gotten over that.

But it seems like I'm constantly planning for something horrible to
happen. like I'll run downstairs in the morning with the baby safe in
his nursery and I won't hear anything so I have to sprint upstairs to
make sure the absolute worse case scenario that is playing out in my
mind isn't happening to my son.

Is this normal, will it go away? Should I just ignore it? I've sort
of always been this way, like for example I have a plan to get
everyone out of my house in case someone breaks in, and I have a very
detailed plan with back up contingent plans. Before I go to bed at
night when my husband is away I play through in my mind every worst
case scenario, and then come up with plans of attack, like the one
listed above. Then and only then can I even think about going to
sleep. Maybe I'm a functioning lunatic. Kind of like a functioning
alcoholic.

LOL after reading what I wrote I think I am certifiable. Is anyone
else dealing with this and if so do you just accept this as your
thought process and go on. I think I sort of have accepted this is
just the way I think and deal with it, but my husband thinks I should
talk to someone.

I had this with my first son. I haven't given birth yet to my
daughter, but I expect it will be the same. My mother told me when I
told her about it (DS was about a week or two old) that it is nature's
way of making sure we are extra careful with the babies. I usually am
more clumsy, too. But I'm extra careful with DS even now, because I
don't want anything to happen to him on my account. Not even on his
account, but there I'd have to say there's not much I can do other
than keep warning him.

But I also try to get him to try things like climb and similar things,
because he is extra careful, too, and I think we may have
overprotected him somewhat. I just tell him to hold the bars tight. I
even had to stand behind him to get him to climb a ladder on a high
slide, while assuring him I would not let him fall. I only had to do
that once, and then he saw he could do it himself.

sorry for the rant. Know how you feel, though.

On May 29, 4:58 pm, "Anna.Nicole.m"
wrote:
I know with having a new baby there is a lot to worry about, but how
common is anxiety PPD. Basically is this an everyday scenario in the
world of me,
I'll be walking on pavement carrying my son, and images of me dropping
him and him splitting his head open and bleeding to death run through
my mind. So I have to come up with a plan of what I'll do if this
should occur. I'll check to see if I have my cell phone to call 911.
I'll check my diaper bag to make sure I have something I can use to
stop the bleeding, I'll look to see who is around me that I can use to
drive me to the hospital while I'm holding me son. Once I come up
with a game plan to remedy the imagined situation I'm fine.

Same with when I walk downstairs. or I'll trip over my feet and catch
myself and then I am flooded with images of me falling on the baby and
killing him. For awhile I had my husband carry him most of the time
when we were out b/c I felt like I was unsafe b/c of how clumsy I am.
I've gotten over that.

But it seems like I'm constantly planning for something horrible to
happen. like I'll run downstairs in the morning with the baby safe in
his nursery and I won't hear anything so I have to sprint upstairs to
make sure the absolute worse case scenario that is playing out in my
mind isn't happening to my son.

Is this normal, will it go away? Should I just ignore it? I've sort
of always been this way, like for example I have a plan to get
everyone out of my house in case someone breaks in, and I have a very
detailed plan with back up contingent plans. Before I go to bed at
night when my husband is away I play through in my mind every worst
case scenario, and then come up with plans of attack, like the one
listed above. Then and only then can I even think about going to
sleep. Maybe I'm a functioning lunatic. Kind of like a functioning
alcoholic.

LOL after reading what I wrote I think I am certifiable. Is anyone
else dealing with this and if so do you just accept this as your
thought process and go on. I think I sort of have accepted this is
just the way I think and deal with it, but my husband thinks I should
talk to someone.

"ncrist" wrote
But I also try to get him to try things like climb and similar things,
because he is extra careful, too, and I think we may have
overprotected him somewhat. I just tell him to hold the bars tight. I
even had to stand behind him to get him to climb a ladder on a high
slide, while assuring him I would not let him fall. I only had to do
that once, and then he saw he could do it himself.


I know what you mean about this. I don't want to overprotect my DD, but I
still get sort of skeevy on the playground when she climbs. She's just still
so little and she has no fear at all, it makes my hair stand up when she
bolts up the playground ladder and does a belly flop down the slide. Of
course I am standing right there with her. It amazes me how many toddlers
are there whose parents sit on the bench and turn away, talking on their
cell phones. I stay right there with her, I am not sure I could always catch
her or prevent her from falling because she's lightning fast, but I can't
*not* stay with her. I do try to talk her into going down the slide on her
butt, feet first instead of stomach.

The other day my husband was at the park with her and there was a little boy
a year younger than my DD whose mom was standing nearby watching him, but
she turned away. A bigger kid (my husband said it was a girl who was fairly
overweight for her age and she must have been about 7 or 8) climbed up over
him and stomped on his fingers and knocked him backwards. His mother turned
around to see it but could not get there and as he fell my husband caught
him- my husband also said something to the girl, nothing rude, but he told
her to watch out and not run over other kids because that little boy almost
got really hurt. It's things like this, which happen among kids, that really
scare me. The boy's mom was pretty upset and freaked out about this. She
wouldn't have been able to stop it thought unless she was right there and
ytou can't stand on top of your kids all the time.

It makes me wonder where the 8 year old's parents were. My daughter was
bullied by a couple of kids in this age range when she was 2 at the same
park. They told her to get off their play area, and threw dirt in her eyes.
I was LIVID. Their parents watched it happen and did nothing, so I stepped
in and I went off- "No ma'am. Don't you EVER throw dirt in someone's eyes,
how would you feel if it was you? I don't let my daughter treat others like
that and I will NOT watch someone do it to her." They just looked at me and
said she was in their area (at the public park) and make her go away! I said
"AbsolUTELY not. There is plenty of room for all of you, she is 2 years old,
and if you don't want to let her play that's fine but she is staying here
and you will not touch her." Well, their parents were furious that I scolded
their kids, so I told their parents the same thing, your kid is not going to
throw sticks and dirt in my kid's eye, my kid is 2, your girls are much
older, and my kid didn't do anything. Grrrr.

It's hard keeping kids as safe as we want to feel they should be, LOL.

On May 30, 12:19 am, "beyond the pale"
wrote:
"ncrist" wrote

But I also try to get him to try things like climb and similar things,
because he is extra careful, too, and I think we may have
overprotected him somewhat. I just tell him to hold the bars tight. I
even had to stand behind him to get him to climb a ladder on a high
slide, while assuring him I would not let him fall. I only had to do
that once, and then he saw he could do it himself.

I know what you mean about this. I don't want to overprotect my DD, but I
still get sort of skeevy on the playground when she climbs. She's just still
so little and she has no fear at all, it makes my hair stand up when she
bolts up the playground ladder and does a belly flop down the slide. Of
course I am standing right there with her. It amazes me how many toddlers
are there whose parents sit on the bench and turn away, talking on their
cell phones. I stay right there with her, I am not sure I could always catch
her or prevent her from falling because she's lightning fast, but I can't
*not* stay with her. I do try to talk her into going down the slide on her
butt, feet first instead of stomach.

The other day my husband was at the park with her and there was a little boy
a year younger than my DD whose mom was standing nearby watching him, but
she turned away. A bigger kid (my husband said it was a girl who was fairly
overweight for her age and she must have been about 7 or 8) climbed up over
him and stomped on his fingers and knocked him backwards. His mother turned
around to see it but could not get there and as he fell my husband caught
him- my husband also said something to the girl, nothing rude, but he told
her to watch out and not run over other kids because that little boy almost
got really hurt. It's things like this, which happen among kids, that really
scare me. The boy's mom was pretty upset and freaked out about this. She
wouldn't have been able to stop it thought unless she was right there and
ytou can't stand on top of your kids all the time.

It makes me wonder where the 8 year old's parents were. My daughter was
bullied by a couple of kids in this age range when she was 2 at the same
park. They told her to get off their play area, and threw dirt in her eyes.
I was LIVID. Their parents watched it happen and did nothing, so I stepped
in and I went off- "No ma'am. Don't you EVER throw dirt in someone's eyes,
how would you feel if it was you? I don't let my daughter treat others like
that and I will NOT watch someone do it to her." They just looked at me and
said she was in their area (at the public park) and make her go away! I said
"AbsolUTELY not. There is plenty of room for all of you, she is 2 years old,
and if you don't want to let her play that's fine but she is staying here
and you will not touch her." Well, their parents were furious that I scolded
their kids, so I told their parents the same thing, your kid is not going to
throw sticks and dirt in my kid's eye, my kid is 2, your girls are much
older, and my kid didn't do anything. Grrrr.

It's hard keeping kids as safe as we want to feel they should be, LOL.

I'm going to learn from this conversation. I would have taken my child
away, but I think what you did was better. Although I would have tried
to make them say they are sorry. But what you did was much better.
Those other parents sound socially inept.

"ncrist" wrote in message
ups.com...
On May 30, 12:19 am, "beyond the pale"
wrote:
"ncrist" wrote

But I also try to get him to try things like climb and similar things,
because he is extra careful, too, and I think we may have
overprotected him somewhat. I just tell him to hold the bars tight. I
even had to stand behind him to get him to climb a ladder on a high
slide, while assuring him I would not let him fall. I only had to do
that once, and then he saw he could do it himself.

I know what you mean about this. I don't want to overprotect my DD, but I
still get sort of skeevy on the playground when she climbs. She's just
still
so little and she has no fear at all, it makes my hair stand up when she
bolts up the playground ladder and does a belly flop down the slide. Of
course I am standing right there with her. It amazes me how many toddlers
are there whose parents sit on the bench and turn away, talking on their
cell phones. I stay right there with her, I am not sure I could always
catch
her or prevent her from falling because she's lightning fast, but I can't
*not* stay with her. I do try to talk her into going down the slide on
her
butt, feet first instead of stomach.

The other day my husband was at the park with her and there was a little
boy
a year younger than my DD whose mom was standing nearby watching him, but
she turned away. A bigger kid (my husband said it was a girl who was
fairly
overweight for her age and she must have been about 7 or 8) climbed up
over
him and stomped on his fingers and knocked him backwards. His mother
turned
around to see it but could not get there and as he fell my husband caught
him- my husband also said something to the girl, nothing rude, but he
told
her to watch out and not run over other kids because that little boy
almost
got really hurt. It's things like this, which happen among kids, that
really
scare me. The boy's mom was pretty upset and freaked out about this. She
wouldn't have been able to stop it thought unless she was right there and
ytou can't stand on top of your kids all the time.

It makes me wonder where the 8 year old's parents were. My daughter was
bullied by a couple of kids in this age range when she was 2 at the same
park. They told her to get off their play area, and threw dirt in her
eyes.
I was LIVID. Their parents watched it happen and did nothing, so I
stepped
in and I went off- "No ma'am. Don't you EVER throw dirt in someone's
eyes,
how would you feel if it was you? I don't let my daughter treat others
like
that and I will NOT watch someone do it to her." They just looked at me
and
said she was in their area (at the public park) and make her go away! I
said
"AbsolUTELY not. There is plenty of room for all of you, she is 2 years
old,
and if you don't want to let her play that's fine but she is staying here
and you will not touch her." Well, their parents were furious that I
scolded
their kids, so I told their parents the same thing, your kid is not going
to
throw sticks and dirt in my kid's eye, my kid is 2, your girls are much
older, and my kid didn't do anything. Grrrr.

It's hard keeping kids as safe as we want to feel they should be, LOL.

I'm going to learn from this conversation. I would have taken my child
away, but I think what you did was better. Although I would have tried
to make them say they are sorry. But what you did was much better.
Those other parents sound socially inept.

I've done this too. Plenty of times we have been to play barns where parents
just dump their kids and let them run wild with no manners whatsoever. I
have no compunction in teaching them some when my son gets trampled on or
bullied. One group tried to shut him out of the wendy house *he* was playing
in first - so I gave them a stern lecture on sharing. I teach William to
share and although he's not 2 yet and doesn't like doing it he understands
the concept and will do so when asked. I guess that comes from bullied as
kid - i'm not having my kids go through what I did!

Jeni

"Anna.Nicole.m" wrote in message
oups.com...
I know with having a new baby there is a lot to worry about, but how
common is anxiety PPD. Basically is this an everyday scenario in the
world of me,
I'll be walking on pavement carrying my son, and images of me dropping
him and him splitting his head open and bleeding to death run through
my mind. So I have to come up with a plan of what I'll do if this
should occur. I'll check to see if I have my cell phone to call 911.
I'll check my diaper bag to make sure I have something I can use to
stop the bleeding, I'll look to see who is around me that I can use to
drive me to the hospital while I'm holding me son. Once I come up
with a game plan to remedy the imagined situation I'm fine.

Same with when I walk downstairs. or I'll trip over my feet and catch
myself and then I am flooded with images of me falling on the baby and
killing him. For awhile I had my husband carry him most of the time
when we were out b/c I felt like I was unsafe b/c of how clumsy I am.
I've gotten over that.

But it seems like I'm constantly planning for something horrible to
happen. like I'll run downstairs in the morning with the baby safe in
his nursery and I won't hear anything so I have to sprint upstairs to
make sure the absolute worse case scenario that is playing out in my
mind isn't happening to my son.

Is this normal, will it go away? Should I just ignore it? I've sort
of always been this way, like for example I have a plan to get
everyone out of my house in case someone breaks in, and I have a very
detailed plan with back up contingent plans. Before I go to bed at
night when my husband is away I play through in my mind every worst
case scenario, and then come up with plans of attack, like the one
listed above. Then and only then can I even think about going to
sleep. Maybe I'm a functioning lunatic. Kind of like a functioning
alcoholic.

LOL after reading what I wrote I think I am certifiable. Is anyone
else dealing with this and if so do you just accept this as your
thought process and go on. I think I sort of have accepted this is
just the way I think and deal with it, but my husband thinks I should
talk to someone.

It's hard to know what to advise. I felt very much like this with ds. I
would grip him tightly when I was anywhere near the stairs or a window or a
hard floor, terrified I might do something stupid. I was sooo tired I was
worried my mind would take over my body. I admit I am probably slightly over
protective even now, but I can't change who I am and I just live with it.
Having said that I didn't do the planning thing so perhaps it wasn't the
same as you. Can't hurt to talk to someone - people are pretty
understanding.

Jeni

I guess more of my question is. I know everyone worries about
protecting their children, but am I to the extreme. Do you other
mommies have the entire scenario play out in your mind of what is
going to happen and then plan what to do when it does happen. Is that
normal?

I guess if you have to ask if it's normal to feel a certain way you
are already doubting your normalcy. I think I will talk to my
midwives about it.

ah well. Crazy is as crazy does.