3 month update and venting included (long)

Howdy all!! I *think* that I survived "dead bird day" relatively
unscathed....I say relatively because that is part of my vent....

DD and I are still going strong on BF. Still no bottles of any kind, NIP
whenever and wherever she decides she is hungry. I haven't been asked to
go to the loo to feed her, but on Thanksgiving I did move to a back bedroom
to feed her so we could get some piece and quiet. (There were 20 of us in
total including 2 infants)

My cousins baby is about 2 months older than my DD. C will be 5 months in
two days. She is bottle fed because her momma "couldn't get it right" and
said it "hurt too much in the hospital" and "my milk didn't come in".
Right. She could have gotten it right if she would have bothered to try.
It *always* hurts at first, and it takes a few days for your milk to come
in. I shrugged it off and let it go. No point in arguing with a brick
wall. I found it highly amusing that it took them a 1/2 hour to find "the
one sterilized bottle" that they brought, then try to find the "right"
nipple for it, then mix the goo, then warm the goo, then calm the screaming
child enough to jam the bottle in her mouth. It took them an hour to coax
C into drinking the goo. 20 minutes after watching their adventures, DD
got hungry. I quietly took her from her Nana and went to a back bedroom
and we laid down on the bed and she ate. It took DD 20 minutes to finish
her meal (more like 15 but I let her comfort nurse for a while). We didn't
have to worry about finding a bottle with the right nipple, we didn't have
to check and double check the temp, and cause I bf, we don't have to worry
about DD getting so upset that she won't eat.

After all this, we sat down to play dominoes (favorite family past time),
and C's momma was sitting next to me. She struck up conversation, and
asked if I had gone back to work at the hospital yet (I'm a nurses aid),
and I told her that I'd put my nursing career (I plan on going back to
school in the future to become an LPN) on hold while I stay home to bf DD.
She asked why, and I told her that "wet nurses are relatively hard to find
these days" and she snorted and said "well, you could always switch to
formula and bottle feed her, its so much easier than bf" I about fell
outta my chair. I wanted to ask her just *how* she thought that hunting
for a bottle, mixing goo, checking the temp of the goo, and having to clean
up the bottle mess was easier, but I just kept my mouth shut...I think that
she mispronounced "convenient for the mom" when she said "easier". I did
tell her that bf was easier for us, but that everyone has their own
opinion. Then she made a near fatal mistake. She asked "the question".
"How long are you planning on keeping it up?" I let her have it. The
*entire* AAP and WHO speech, complete with the psychological benefits. My
gramma and gramma Lucille froze in their tracks. C's daddy dropped his tea
on the floor, and my DH just sat there and smiled. They knew from my tone
that the fight was on. (I'm a very opinionated person and rarely hesitate
to tell anyone what I think. I also have a very strong personality (or so
I'm told) and don't take crap. C's momma is also the same way, and we have
a tendency to butt heads on a regular basis (just ask me what happened at
my gramma's 80th bday party)). C's momma just sat there. She didn't have
anything to say, or if she did was too shocked to say anything at all.
There was stone silence for about 5 minutes, everyone looking at her, then
she asked whose turn it was to play. For once she decided to keep her trap
shut cause she knew she wouldn't win. My aunt B however, decided she would
try to support the goo feedings. She offered up that "babies sleep through
the night a lot sooner if they are bottle fed". I said "Oh really? Then
hows come DD sleeps for 9 hours at a stretch at night and has never had a
bottle? DS was bottle fed and didn't sleep like that until he was 14
months old." Aunt B sat there looking like a fish. Eyes wide open, mouth
opening and closing like she was looking for a rebuttal, but nary a noise
came from her. I turned to C's momma and asked if C was sleeping through
the night yet. She said "erm, no not yet, she still wakes up every 3 hours
at night". Finally aunt B got her voice to work and asked how bad DD's
colic was. We saw the fish routine again when I told her that we hadn't
had any colic, but I did have to eliminate dairy from my diet cause it gave
DD some bad toots although DH and I were the only ones that were bothered
by it cause of the smell. When C's momma got up from the table at this
point, I knew I had won the entire argument. They had major colic issues
for the first 4 months of C's little life, the reason being is that she
turned out to be allergic to most of the goo out there. They had to switch
goo's 7 times before they found one that didn't make her scream like a
banshee 30 minutes after she ate. The rest of the evening went smoothly,
no one questioned my choice to bf DD after that.

The second part of my rant is with the docs office. They called me again
this morning, wanting to put me on my anti-depressants, muscle relaxers,
pain killers, and sleeping pills again, not to mention that not one single
person can read a chart up there at the hospital cause they want to put me
on BC again. I have fibromyalgia and it causes me a lot of trouble. Lots
of pain and I can't sleep very well at night. I also have a panic and
anxiety disorder. The fibro has come back with a vengeance after DD's
birth, but the P&A is near non existent at this time. I'm refusing to take
the muscle relaxers and pain killers because they are contraindicated for
bf, the sleeping pills are safe for bf but they work a little too good and
I'm afraid that if DD wakes up in the middle of the night I won't hear her
so I don't take those either. I will suffer through the pain and restless
nights until DD is done bf. I refuse to switch her to goo for my physical
comfort because she has sooooo much to gain from bf. I lived with the
fibro pain for 8 years before my dx and subsequent medication, I think I
can handle a year or two without it to give DD what is best. I have docs
arguing with me on this point. Some try to tell me that the meds are safe
(I know they aren't) some are trying to get me to stop bf and switch to goo
so they can medicate me, and one doc went so far as to write the scripts
and call them into the pharmacy. I told him it was a waste of time cause
he couldn't force me to pick up and take the meds. They sat there
unclaimed. I don't know if my meds for the P&A are safe (gonna ask that in
my next post), if they are, I'll consider going back on them even though I
don't think that I need them right now. The bc issue has me near irate
with the docs. I had my tubes tied when DD was born. I had them tied
because a) pregnancy is not easy for me because of the fibro and b) I have
trouble getting the kids "fully cooked" if you will. DS was born a week
early, DD was born nearly a month early, and I've had 3 miscarriages. DH
and I decided that if we want more kids in the future, we will adopt. (Two
reasons on that one....1) there are plenty of kids waiting for parents and
2) I was adopted....we are both big advocates of adoption) The staff at
the hospital fails to see that I've been "fixed" and insists on getting me
on the pill. I told them that I won't take the pill cause my tubes were
tied and the pill will dry up my milk supply (that is why I was only able
to bf DS for 6 weeks). They suggested an IUD, again I told them that my
tubes were tied. Then they suggested the shot. I was on the shot for 5
years between DS and DD, and for me, it was great bc, the only side effect
was that my flow stopped. I don't want the shot because my tubes are tied.
I'm not going to go on a pointless shot out of convenience. They argued
that "tubals aren't guaranteed to be 100% effective", fine. If I do get
preggers after having the tubal, so be it. I'll struggle through the pg
trying my best to carry to term, and we will have 3 kids instead of two.
If a higher power thinks that I need to be pg again, nothing is going to
stop it (save a hysterectomy). They are throwing a *fit* because I didn't
go in for my 6 week check up. I told them it wasn't cause I didn't try, it
was because they couldn't fit me into their schedule. The first time I
called, they said that they don't do 6 week checkups, they do 7 week check
ups and I needed to call back when DD was 3 weeks old. I called back when
she was 3 weeks old, and was told that they didn't have Octobers schedule
yet and I needed to call back on 1 Oct. I called back on 1 Oct, and was
told that they still didn't have the schedules. I gave up at that point.
My incision was fine (pink but only due to healing, not for infection), my
lochia had stopped, and I felt that everything was on the up and up. Both
times that they have called me to get me to come in they told me that I
don't know what infection looks like and they need to make sure that my
tears had healed. Ummmm, I DO know what infection looks like due to my JOB
(when I have one, and its not like I forget all my training just because
I'm not working at the current time) thankyouverymuch and I don't have any
tears "down there" cause I wound up having a section (despite my best
efforts to avoid it). I told them that I'd be in in Feb for my yearly, and
unless something drastic came up they weren't going to see *me* as a
patient until then. sigh I'm really starting to hate this hospital.

Thanks for letting me vent a little (I hope you made it this far), I'm
going to go back to lurkdom now.
Hugs
Karlee in Kansas
~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

Karlee in Kansas wrote:
I let her
have it. The *entire* AAP and WHO speech, complete with the
psychological benefits.

Good for you! Wouldn't I have enjoyed being a fly on the wall in that
room...

I'm refusing to take the muscle relaxers and
pain killers because they are contraindicated for bf, the sleeping
pills are safe for bf but they work a little too good and I'm afraid
that if DD wakes up in the middle of the night I won't hear her so I
don't take those either. I will suffer through the pain and restless
nights until DD is done bf. I refuse to switch her to goo for my
physical comfort because she has sooooo much to gain from bf. I
lived with the fibro pain for 8 years before my dx and subsequent
medication, I think I can handle a year or two without it to give DD
what is best.

Girl, you are my hero. Your daughter is one lucky kid.

Most painkillers are not bad for BF - are you sure there aren't any you can
take? I don't know much about fibro, though, and I'm sure you've researched
it up and down...

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

"Karlee in Kansas" skrev i en meddelelse
...
Howdy all!! I *think* that I survived "dead bird day" relatively
unscathed....I say relatively because that is part of my vent....

DD and I are still going strong on BF. Still no bottles of any kind, NIP
whenever and wherever she decides she is hungry. I haven't been asked to
go to the loo to feed her, but on Thanksgiving I did move to a back
bedroom
to feed her so we could get some piece and quiet. (There were 20 of us in
total including 2 infants)

My cousins baby is about 2 months older than my DD. C will be 5 months in
two days. She is bottle fed because her momma "couldn't get it right" and
said it "hurt too much in the hospital" and "my milk didn't come in".
Right. She could have gotten it right if she would have bothered to try.
It *always* hurts at first, and it takes a few days for your milk to come
in. I shrugged it off and let it go. No point in arguing with a brick
wall. I found it highly amusing that it took them a 1/2 hour to find "the
one sterilized bottle" that they brought, then try to find the "right"
nipple for it, then mix the goo, then warm the goo, then calm the
screaming
child enough to jam the bottle in her mouth. It took them an hour to
coax
C into drinking the goo. 20 minutes after watching their adventures, DD
got hungry. I quietly took her from her Nana and went to a back bedroom
and we laid down on the bed and she ate. It took DD 20 minutes to finish
her meal (more like 15 but I let her comfort nurse for a while). We
didn't
have to worry about finding a bottle with the right nipple, we didn't have
to check and double check the temp, and cause I bf, we don't have to worry
about DD getting so upset that she won't eat.

After all this, we sat down to play dominoes (favorite family past time),
and C's momma was sitting next to me. She struck up conversation, and
asked if I had gone back to work at the hospital yet (I'm a nurses aid),
and I told her that I'd put my nursing career (I plan on going back to
school in the future to become an LPN) on hold while I stay home to bf DD.
She asked why, and I told her that "wet nurses are relatively hard to find
these days" and she snorted and said "well, you could always switch to
formula and bottle feed her, its so much easier than bf" I about fell
outta my chair. I wanted to ask her just *how* she thought that hunting
for a bottle, mixing goo, checking the temp of the goo, and having to
clean
up the bottle mess was easier, but I just kept my mouth shut...I think
that
she mispronounced "convenient for the mom" when she said "easier". I did
tell her that bf was easier for us, but that everyone has their own
opinion. Then she made a near fatal mistake. She asked "the question".
"How long are you planning on keeping it up?" I let her have it. The
*entire* AAP and WHO speech, complete with the psychological benefits. My
gramma and gramma Lucille froze in their tracks. C's daddy dropped his
tea
on the floor, and my DH just sat there and smiled. They knew from my tone
that the fight was on. (I'm a very opinionated person and rarely hesitate
to tell anyone what I think. I also have a very strong personality (or so
I'm told) and don't take crap. C's momma is also the same way, and we
have
a tendency to butt heads on a regular basis (just ask me what happened at
my gramma's 80th bday party)). C's momma just sat there. She didn't have
anything to say, or if she did was too shocked to say anything at all.
There was stone silence for about 5 minutes, everyone looking at her, then
she asked whose turn it was to play. For once she decided to keep her
trap
shut cause she knew she wouldn't win. My aunt B however, decided she
would
try to support the goo feedings. She offered up that "babies sleep
through
the night a lot sooner if they are bottle fed". I said "Oh really? Then
hows come DD sleeps for 9 hours at a stretch at night and has never had a
bottle? DS was bottle fed and didn't sleep like that until he was 14
months old." Aunt B sat there looking like a fish. Eyes wide open, mouth
opening and closing like she was looking for a rebuttal, but nary a noise
came from her. I turned to C's momma and asked if C was sleeping through
the night yet. She said "erm, no not yet, she still wakes up every 3
hours
at night". Finally aunt B got her voice to work and asked how bad DD's
colic was. We saw the fish routine again when I told her that we hadn't
had any colic, but I did have to eliminate dairy from my diet cause it
gave
DD some bad toots although DH and I were the only ones that were bothered
by it cause of the smell. When C's momma got up from the table at this
point, I knew I had won the entire argument. They had major colic issues
for the first 4 months of C's little life, the reason being is that she
turned out to be allergic to most of the goo out there. They had to
switch
goo's 7 times before they found one that didn't make her scream like a
banshee 30 minutes after she ate. The rest of the evening went smoothly,
no one questioned my choice to bf DD after that.

The second part of my rant is with the docs office. They called me again
this morning, wanting to put me on my anti-depressants, muscle relaxers,
pain killers, and sleeping pills again, not to mention that not one single
person can read a chart up there at the hospital cause they want to put me
on BC again. I have fibromyalgia and it causes me a lot of trouble. Lots
of pain and I can't sleep very well at night. I also have a panic and
anxiety disorder. The fibro has come back with a vengeance after DD's
birth, but the P&A is near non existent at this time. I'm refusing to
take
the muscle relaxers and pain killers because they are contraindicated for
bf, the sleeping pills are safe for bf but they work a little too good and
I'm afraid that if DD wakes up in the middle of the night I won't hear her
so I don't take those either. I will suffer through the pain and restless
nights until DD is done bf. I refuse to switch her to goo for my physical
comfort because she has sooooo much to gain from bf. I lived with the
fibro pain for 8 years before my dx and subsequent medication, I think I
can handle a year or two without it to give DD what is best. I have docs
arguing with me on this point. Some try to tell me that the meds are safe
(I know they aren't) some are trying to get me to stop bf and switch to
goo
so they can medicate me, and one doc went so far as to write the scripts
and call them into the pharmacy. I told him it was a waste of time cause
he couldn't force me to pick up and take the meds. They sat there
unclaimed. I don't know if my meds for the P&A are safe (gonna ask that
in
my next post), if they are, I'll consider going back on them even though I
don't think that I need them right now. The bc issue has me near irate
with the docs. I had my tubes tied when DD was born. I had them tied
because a) pregnancy is not easy for me because of the fibro and b) I have
trouble getting the kids "fully cooked" if you will. DS was born a week
early, DD was born nearly a month early, and I've had 3 miscarriages. DH
and I decided that if we want more kids in the future, we will adopt.
(Two
reasons on that one....1) there are plenty of kids waiting for parents and
2) I was adopted....we are both big advocates of adoption) The staff at
the hospital fails to see that I've been "fixed" and insists on getting me
on the pill. I told them that I won't take the pill cause my tubes were
tied and the pill will dry up my milk supply (that is why I was only able
to bf DS for 6 weeks). They suggested an IUD, again I told them that my
tubes were tied. Then they suggested the shot. I was on the shot for 5
years between DS and DD, and for me, it was great bc, the only side effect
was that my flow stopped. I don't want the shot because my tubes are
tied.
I'm not going to go on a pointless shot out of convenience. They argued
that "tubals aren't guaranteed to be 100% effective", fine. If I do get
preggers after having the tubal, so be it. I'll struggle through the pg
trying my best to carry to term, and we will have 3 kids instead of two.
If a higher power thinks that I need to be pg again, nothing is going to
stop it (save a hysterectomy). They are throwing a *fit* because I didn't
go in for my 6 week check up. I told them it wasn't cause I didn't try,
it
was because they couldn't fit me into their schedule. The first time I
called, they said that they don't do 6 week checkups, they do 7 week check
ups and I needed to call back when DD was 3 weeks old. I called back when
she was 3 weeks old, and was told that they didn't have Octobers schedule
yet and I needed to call back on 1 Oct. I called back on 1 Oct, and was
told that they still didn't have the schedules. I gave up at that point.
My incision was fine (pink but only due to healing, not for infection), my
lochia had stopped, and I felt that everything was on the up and up. Both
times that they have called me to get me to come in they told me that I
don't know what infection looks like and they need to make sure that my
tears had healed. Ummmm, I DO know what infection looks like due to my
JOB
(when I have one, and its not like I forget all my training just because
I'm not working at the current time) thankyouverymuch and I don't have any
tears "down there" cause I wound up having a section (despite my best
efforts to avoid it). I told them that I'd be in in Feb for my yearly,
and
unless something drastic came up they weren't going to see *me* as a
patient until then. sigh I'm really starting to hate this hospital.

Thanks for letting me vent a little (I hope you made it this far), I'm
going to go back to lurkdom now.
Hugs
Karlee in Kansas
~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

Somehow I feel very related to you - are you sure we're not chipped from the
same mental block?

Tine, Denmark

"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...
It *always* hurts at first, and it takes a few days for your milk to come
in. I shrugged it off and let it go. No point in arguing with a brick

It doesn't always hurt at first. It never hurt me a bit.

Karlee in Kansas wrote:

Thanks for letting me vent a little (I hope you made it this far), I'm
going to go back to lurkdom now.

Ooooohhh...we'd get along great :-). Don't go to lurkdom, we need you
in here :-).
--
'Tis Herself

"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...
Howdy all!! I *think* that I survived "dead bird day" relatively
unscathed....I say relatively because that is part of my vent....

DD and I are still going strong on BF. Still no bottles of any kind, NIP
whenever and wherever she decides she is hungry. I haven't been asked to
go to the loo to feed her, but on Thanksgiving I did move to a back
bedroom
to feed her so we could get some piece and quiet. (There were 20 of us in
total including 2 infants)

She struck up conversation, and
asked if I had gone back to work at the hospital yet (I'm a nurses aid),
and I told her that I'd put my nursing career (I plan on going back to
school in the future to become an LPN) on hold while I stay home to bf DD.

"No, Im concentrating on my NURSING career now"

Herself wrote:

Karlee in Kansas wrote:


Thanks for letting me vent a little (I hope you made it this far), I'm
going to go back to lurkdom now.


Ooooohhh...we'd get along great :-). Don't go to lurkdom, we need you
in here :-).

Agreed on both counts. Your posts are a hoot. I admire your quick
thinking when people have tried to back you into a corner, and I've
LIVED those damn family dinners where you just know your next words are
gonna "bring down the house" but you can't be trodden on. Just replace
dominoes with Scrabble, and take into account that bfding was never a
topic, thank your chosen deity. Yikes!

Dawn

Karlee in Kansas wrote:
[...] When C's momma got up from the table at this
point, I knew I had won the entire argument. They had major colic issues
for the first 4 months of C's little life, the reason being is that she
turned out to be allergic to most of the goo out there. They had to switch
goo's 7 times before they found one that didn't make her scream like a
banshee 30 minutes after she ate. The rest of the evening went smoothly,
no one questioned my choice to bf DD after that.

You go, girlfriend!

-- Anita --
--
SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST
TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE
POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE
MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS.

On Mon, 1 Dec 2003 10:16:13 -0600, "Karlee in Kansas"
wrote:

Thanks for letting me vent a little (I hope you made it this far), I'm
going to go back to lurkdom now.

Goodness! I hope you feel better for the vent - I'd've been hacked off
too. Don't relurk, post again!
--
Never knock an idea that started out on the back of a beer mat.
(Colin Pillinger, brains behind Beagle 2.)

Karlee in Kansas wrote:
[fibromyalgia]
I'm refusing to take
the muscle relaxers and pain killers because they are contraindicated for
bf,

The majority of painkillers are compatible with breastfeeding. What have
you been offered?

Lara