Diapers at daycare, underwear everywhere else?

Can a child do that? L is good at being in underwear at home (haven't run
errands with him yet in underwear) but at the daycare he holds it until he
has an accident. The teacher thinks he's probably the kind of child who
prefers to go at home, so running errands for an hour or 2 he'll be fine,
but from 9 am to 3 pm at the daycare, it's not. She suggested having him in
diapers at the daycare but in underwear the rest of the time. He's suddenly
speaking very well, but when they take him to the toilet he cries, and she
thinks he's stressed out and she doesn't want to have him forget his words I
guess.

So would this work - having him in underwear all the time except at
daycare - which is usually 9 am to 3 pm Tuesdays and Thursdays, and
sometimes Fridays?

He'll be 3 December 14, it that matters/ helps.

Thanks.

Sophie wrote:

Can a child do that? L is good at being in underwear at home (haven't run
errands with him yet in underwear) but at the daycare he holds it until he
has an accident. The teacher thinks he's probably the kind of child who
prefers to go at home, so running errands for an hour or 2 he'll be fine,
but from 9 am to 3 pm at the daycare, it's not. She suggested having him in
diapers at the daycare but in underwear the rest of the time. He's suddenly
speaking very well, but when they take him to the toilet he cries, and she
thinks he's stressed out and she doesn't want to have him forget his words I
guess.

So would this work - having him in underwear all the time except at
daycare - which is usually 9 am to 3 pm Tuesdays and Thursdays, and
sometimes Fridays?

I think he's likely able to understand very well that
he's in diapers at daycare because he's not ready to use the
bathroom there, but at home he's in underwear because he's
fine with the bathroom at home. In my experience, kids are
very adept at understanding different rules for different
places.
You are telling him it's okay not to use the
bathroom at daycare, which is feeding into his fears
to some extent, but as long as that isn't a really big
issue with him, I wouldn't worry about it. For some kids,
if you allowed him to avoid the strange toilets at
daycare, that would start to spread until he was asking
for diapers more and more and refusing to attempt to
use a different one. Lots of kids would just take it
in stride and be grateful that you were giving them a
little time to warm up to an uncomfortable situation.
I've got one of each sort (and one TBD ;-) and what works
for one doesn't necessarily work for the other.

Best wishes,
Ericka

I think he's likely able to understand very well that
he's in diapers at daycare because he's not ready to use the
bathroom there, but at home he's in underwear because he's
fine with the bathroom at home. In my experience, kids are
very adept at understanding different rules for different
places.

Yep mine have understood that for a while - like - they can do certain
things at Grandma's house that they don't do at our house. So that makes
sense.


You are telling him it's okay not to use the
bathroom at daycare, which is feeding into his fears
to some extent, but as long as that isn't a really big
issue with him, I wouldn't worry about it. For some kids,
if you allowed him to avoid the strange toilets at
daycare, that would start to spread until he was asking
for diapers more and more and refusing to attempt to
use a different one. Lots of kids would just take it
in stride and be grateful that you were giving them a
little time to warm up to an uncomfortable situation.
I've got one of each sort (and one TBD ;-) and what works
for one doesn't necessarily work for the other.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Well after daycare today he was asking for a diaper. He had quite a fit
about it and I told him "no, with me you're in underwear". He eventually
forgot about it and was fine. I don't *really* like the idea of putting him
in diapers at the daycare because we've made such a fuss about him being a
big boy, wearing underwear, etc...so what does that say to let him go back
to diapers? But I figure the daycare lady knows what she's talking about,
having 3 children herself, as well as who knows how many in the daycare
through the years. She pointed out another girl in the class who's the same
way and she doesn't seem confused, according to the mother.

Tomorrow will be my first time running errands with him in underwear so
we'll see how that goes. Thursday we'll be home all day too - that will
help.

Thanks Ericka.

Sophie wrote:
Can a child do that?

Hunter was in a similar but different situation, lol. He wore diapers at
daycare and underwear at home but it was hell getting him trained that way.
I ended up having to take time off work. It sounds as if L is already
trained at home so it probably wouldn't be a problem.

I find potty training very frustrating so I'd make the daycare worker deal
with the wet pants for awhile if she was willing. The daycare I used was
not willing so that is why Hunter was in diapers there. If he gets stressed
when they take him to the toilet maybe then can just not do that. Take him
if he asks, let him go himself, or let him wet his pants and then get
changed. Depending on how many kids she is watching, any rules she has to
follow etc. that might not work. I also wouldn't suggest that if I didn't
know he was doing fine at home.
--
Nikki

In article ,
Well after daycare today he was asking for a diaper. He had quite a fit
about it and I told him "no, with me you're in underwear". He eventually
forgot about it and was fine. I don't *really* like the idea of putting him
in diapers at the daycare because we've made such a fuss about him being a
big boy, wearing underwear, etc...so what does that say to let him go back
to diapers? But I figure the daycare lady knows what she's talking about,
having 3 children herself, as well as who knows how many in the daycare
through the years. She pointed out another girl in the class who's the same
way and she doesn't seem confused, according to the mother.

Is there a reason he can't wear diapers when he's with you? Is there
a reason he has to be reliably potty-trained by a certain time (like
going to school or some other program)? It was really stressful
getting my kids out of diapers so they could go to nursery school
this year; if I had a daycare situation that let them stay in diapers
I would have been very happy. As it is, one still wears pullups to
school, although she treats them like underwear and never wets them.

As they say, "don't worry, your son won't be going to college in
diapers." :-) Maybe let him set the pace.....

- marty
(mom to Alex & Andie, going on 4)

Is there a reason he can't wear diapers when he's with you?

Because he's potty trained with me.

Is there
a reason he has to be reliably potty-trained by a certain time (like
going to school or some other program)?

No, he's almost 3 and my 2 older children potty trained at around 3 (one
just before, one just after). It's time, he's showing interest, and he's
already done it with me. I brought him into the daycare in underwear after
a weekend and the daycare lady said she was going to ask me if it wasn't
time to start soon anyway.

It was really stressful
getting my kids out of diapers so they could go to nursery school
this year; if I had a daycare situation that let them stay in diapers
I would have been very happy. As it is, one still wears pullups to
school, although she treats them like underwear and never wets them.

I don't use Pull Ups. They're either in diapers or underwear.

As they say, "don't worry, your son won't be going to college in
diapers." :-) Maybe let him set the pace.....

He is.

- marty
(mom to Alex & Andie, going on 4)

--
Sophie
mom of 4

Nikki wrote:

Sophie wrote:


Can a child do that?



I find potty training very frustrating so I'd make the daycare worker deal
with the wet pants for awhile if she was willing. The daycare I used was
not willing so that is why Hunter was in diapers there. If he gets stressed
when they take him to the toilet maybe then can just not do that. Take him
if he asks, let him go himself, or let him wet his pants and then get
changed. Depending on how many kids she is watching, any rules she has to
follow etc. that might not work.

If the daycare was willing, I'd also do this at least for awhile to see
if he would eventually go. In conjunction it might help to take him to
their bathroom yourself a few times and get him familiar with it and
maybe he'd be more apt to use it while there. Can you offer a reward
for coming home dry?
cara

If the daycare was willing, I'd also do this at least for awhile to see
if he would eventually go. In conjunction it might help to take him to
their bathroom yourself a few times and get him familiar with it and
maybe he'd be more apt to use it while there. Can you offer a reward
for coming home dry?
cara


When we get there and before we leave I take him to the toilet at the
daycare. He always says no.

A reward is a good idea - I'm not above bribery, lol - but since it's
usually such a long day, I don't know that he'd remember or care that he'll
get something if he stays dry. Although I guess the daycare ladies could
remind him.

Sophie wrote:

If the daycare was willing, I'd also do this at least for awhile to see
if he would eventually go. In conjunction it might help to take him to
their bathroom yourself a few times and get him familiar with it and
maybe he'd be more apt to use it while there. Can you offer a reward
for coming home dry?
cara



When we get there and before we leave I take him to the toilet at the
daycare. He always says no.

My DS was like this for about 10 days after he trained at home. First
he had accidents, then he learned to hold it until nap time when he got
a pullup, and then one day he just started using the toilet there -
first one day when I took him at pickup time, and then during regular
school hours. It was just a matter of him getting used to the idea - I
don't think anything I did made a difference.



A reward is a good idea - I'm not above bribery, lol - but since it's
usually such a long day, I don't know that he'd remember or care that he'll
get something if he stays dry. Although I guess the daycare ladies could
remind him.

When Ben was training at home, the reward had to be for actually peeing
in the toilet, not for "staying dry" - he didn't get the concept at all!

I know people discourage the use of pullups or switching back and forth
between underwear/diapers but DS didn't have a problem at all, and never
peed in a pullup just because he could. Even when he was still wearing
pullups at night he'd still ask to go to the bathroom to pee.

Now the problem we're having is that he requests a pullup for pooping,
and won't sit on the toilet at all. I'm hoping that's a short-lived
phase as well.

My DS was like this for about 10 days after he trained at home. First
he had accidents, then he learned to hold it until nap time when he got
a pullup, and then one day he just started using the toilet there -
first one day when I took him at pickup time, and then during regular
school hours. It was just a matter of him getting used to the idea - I
don't think anything I did made a difference.

They do put him in a Pull Up for naptime. He doesn't go in it.

When Ben was training at home, the reward had to be for actually peeing
in the toilet, not for "staying dry" - he didn't get the concept at all!

Ahh I wouldn't think of the difference either.

I know people discourage the use of pullups or switching back and forth
between underwear/diapers but DS didn't have a problem at all, and never
peed in a pullup just because he could. Even when he was still wearing
pullups at night he'd still ask to go to the bathroom to pee.

He's still in diapers for bed, but he always comes out within 30 minutes of
going to bed and asks to pee, and he does. Weird. The diaper is wet in the
morning too.

Now the problem we're having is that he requests a pullup for pooping,
and won't sit on the toilet at all. I'm hoping that's a short-lived
phase as well.

At home this is the only time he has an accident. I feel like I might be
repeating myself (did I already say this?) - he pees when he poops so he
goes to the bathroom and stands, then says he wants to sit, no he wants to
stand, and ends up not peeing or pooping. Or he just simply does it all in
his underwear then tells me he pooped. I even asked him if he wanted a
diaper to poop and he said no, and did it later in his underwear sigh

This evening I ran errands for the first time with him in underwear. We were
out for about 2 hrs. My older son had to pee so I asked him if he did - he
said yes, stood there and said no. As we were on our way home he said he
had to go. He didn't act like he was busting to go or anything, I asked him
about 15 minutes after we were home if he had to go, he said yes and did.
Pretty good.

I'm thinking of trying him tomorrow with a step-stool for pooping.