Unusual Child Custody Arrangement

Have any of you heard of a joint custody arrangement where the children
stay in the home and the parents each take turns visiting/living with
the kids in the home? i.e.: one week Mom comes to live with the kids
, one week Dad comes to live w/ the kids

This seems to be of best interest to the children...instead of the
children living a "gyspy" life with all the moving around...the parents
do it.

Helen

wrote in message
oups.com...
Have any of you heard of a joint custody arrangement where the children
stay in the home and the parents each take turns visiting/living with
the kids in the home? i.e.: one week Mom comes to live with the kids
, one week Dad comes to live w/ the kids

This seems to be of best interest to the children...instead of the
children living a "gyspy" life with all the moving around...the parents
do it.

Helen

I have heard of this, but for the life of me, I don't remember where I read
it.

I kind of like the idea, but it does have some draw backs..

Namely, it requires that the parents actually cooperate and keep any
arguments to a minimum. This would be a hot area of contention for the
radfems. They would say that this is unfair for Mommie because it takes
away from her having complete and total control over the situation.

Also, who's house is it really? Is it Moms? Is it Dads? Or someone else's
house? Who gets the household tax breaks, or do they get shared every other
year? And who is the custodial parent, or is this a 50/50 arrangement
(again, this is also something the radfems would go nuts over)?

wrote in message
oups.com...
Have any of you heard of a joint custody arrangement where the children
stay in the home and the parents each take turns visiting/living with
the kids in the home? i.e.: one week Mom comes to live with the kids
, one week Dad comes to live w/ the kids

This seems to be of best interest to the children...instead of the
children living a "gyspy" life with all the moving around...the parents
do it.

Helen


How is it in the best interest of the children. Now two parents are
supporting 3 households.

The "gypsy" life is a strawman arguement. The kids have stable permanent
homes in two places.

What is a strawman argument?

wrote in message
ups.com...
What is a strawman argument?

I believe he is making reference to the implied argument that the only
alternative to living in one home is to live in two homes thus not in the
best interest of the child. There IS a third option. False dilemma more
accurately describes your statement.

wrote in message
ups.com...
What is a strawman argument?


http://just****inggoogleit.com/

"Chris" wrote in message news:VZFof.40$qF5.30@fed1read02...

wrote in message
ups.com...
What is a strawman argument?

I believe he is making reference to the implied argument that the only
alternative to living in one home is to live in two homes thus not in the
best interest of the child. There IS a third option. False dilemma more
accurately describes your statement.



I was aiming at here "gypsy living" comment.

"P Fritz" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
ups.com...
What is a strawman argument?


http://just****inggoogleit.com/

Pretty funny.

"Chris" wrote in message
news:QUZof.141$qF5.116@fed1read02...

"P Fritz" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
ups.com...
What is a strawman argument?


http://just****inggoogleit.com/

Pretty funny.

I like that site....

wrote in message
oups.com...
Have any of you heard of a joint custody arrangement where the children
stay in the home and the parents each take turns visiting/living with
the kids in the home? i.e.: one week Mom comes to live with the kids
, one week Dad comes to live w/ the kids

This seems to be of best interest to the children...instead of the
children living a "gyspy" life with all the moving around...the parents
do it.

Helen


This arrangement is known to family lawyers as "birds nesting." I
suspect it is relatively uncommon, but I did it myself for a period during
the separation prior to my divorce many years ago. My ex suggested it, and
in retrospect I think it probably was a device that she never intended to be
of anything more than temporary duration, designed to get me to move out of
the family home, which I was refusing to do. After a while, she said she
wanted to have her own place and full custody of the children, and that's
what happened.

Given reasonableness on both sides, I think the arrangement could work,
but there are practical questions to be settled. In addition, there is the
underlying problem that mothers are unlikely to agree to it, because they
prefer to get full custody, with the father paying them CS money. Mothers
normally call the shots in these matters. One of the practical issues is,
where do the parents live when they are not in the family home? In my case,
my ex went out and rented an apartment, and we alternated living in the
family home and the apartment. There is also the issue of how often the
changeovers take place. In addition, there is plenty of scope for friction
over such matters as cleaning of the different places, stocking the
refrigerators, etc.

Nevertheless, the arrangement has much to recommend it -- not least
because it is designed around the children and puts the parents on an even
footing, instead of the normal situation, which amounts to the father being
expelled from the family and the mother assuming unilateral control of the
children.