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How to stop the night wakings?



 
 
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  #11  
Old March 14th 08, 03:33 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Anne Rogers[_4_]
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Posts: 670
Default How to stop the night wakings?

MarieD wrote:
"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
Why does the area have to be quiet? One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap?


There are babies who will not sleep through normal noises. My first two
babies slept through everything, but my youngest did not. She can't
sleep in total silence, either. She sleeps with a fan. When she was a
baby, if we were not silent, she would not sleep. She was already a
horrible sleeper, and because I knew you weren't supposed to be quiet
when babies were sleeping it was quite awhile before we tried being
really quiet during her napping. It did help somewhat. I can't sleep
through things, either. The husband, he can sleep through absolutely
anything. Really.


I think it's one of those things that in an ideal world would be fine.
But we live in the real world, there is both the individual level of
sensitivity and the fact that we know that sleep goes in cycles. There
is also the sense of a physical barrier, in a room open and close to the
rest of the house, there will be awareness of parental activities that
the child may want to be involved in. Shutting a door is more than just
blocking out sound - we've had a few issues here, DS and DD share, DD is
younger and closing the door seems to be very symbolic to her, she knows
that means you stay in bed. For a while DS struggled with the dark and
wanted the door open, which would mean DD wouldn't stay in bed, even if
she didn't come out of the room, the door was a symbolic barrier between
staying in bed and going to sleep and getting out and playing.

Anne
  #12  
Old March 14th 08, 05:12 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
MarieD[_2_]
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Posts: 86
Default How to stop the night wakings?

"cjra" wrote in message
...
The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't
nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not
here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the
house, she won't stop til she has me.


I experienced that with my own family. My youngest grew out of nursing to
sleep, but would nurse a few minutes before bedtime until she was almost 5.
If I was away from home though, my husband had no trouble and she'd even
fall asleep while they were rocking (I rocked all of my children before bed
when they were little)

Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will
be an issue.


Just so you know- co-sleeping isn't always the cause of sleeping problems.
Alot of people seem to blame co-sleeping, but many babies who have only
slept in cribs have sleep problems also. My youngest wouldn't sleep alone or
with us, she just didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time until she hit
about 14 months. Just wanted to reassure you. I've known many co-sleepers,
and I haven't known any teenagers who can't sleep alone )

We already decided that when we get to that stage, we're going to bang
pots in her room as payback ;-)


My oldest is almost 13, and I sometimes throw her stuffed animals at her
until she gets up.
The older kids can be helpful if they happen to wake up before me; they will
get the little one breakfast and let me sleep. But that's rare these days
lol.
Marie

  #13  
Old March 14th 08, 06:11 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 6:34*pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
cjra wrote:


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,


Why does the area have to be quiet? *


Lights on, tv (sometimes), computer etc. all within a few feet of her?
Maybe your child can fall asleep with that, mine has never been able
to. All the usual 'house' noises. Frankly I don't expect anyone to be
able to sleep through all that. Perfectly silent? no, but constant
stimulation in the form of lights, talking etc, she can't handle that.

One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. *Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. *Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap? *


Yes, it's an in-home daycare and all the kids nap at the same time.

Really it is better to do this - otherwise every time you go on a trip
she won't sleep.


Oddly enough, as we've travelled with her a lot, she sleeps well on
the road.
  #14  
Old March 14th 08, 06:18 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 11:12*pm, "MarieD" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

...

The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't
nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not
here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the
house, she won't stop til she has me.


I experienced that with my own family. My youngest grew out of nursing to
sleep, but would nurse a few minutes before bedtime until she was almost 5..
If I was away from home though, my husband had no trouble and she'd even
fall asleep while they were rocking (I rocked all of my children before bed
when they were little)

Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will
be an issue.


Just so you know- co-sleeping isn't always the cause of sleeping problems.
Alot of people seem to blame co-sleeping, but many babies who have only
slept in cribs have sleep problems also. My youngest wouldn't sleep alone or
with us, she just didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time until she hit
about 14 months. Just wanted to reassure you. I've known many co-sleepers,
and I haven't known any teenagers who can't sleep alone )


Thanks for this reassurance, everyone always blames co-sleeping, but
we would not have survived the first year if we didn't co-sleep.She
reverse cycled at 12 weeks, and that was that.

  #15  
Old March 14th 08, 06:21 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 6:34*pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
cjra wrote:
On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,


Why does the area have to be quiet? *One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. *Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. *Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap? *


Let me add also that I'm not concerned about total silence. But if she
can see/hear mommy and daddy a few feet away from her, that's not a
signal to sleep, that's a signal to play.

She doesn't have siblings yet, but I wouldn't expect the siblings to
be playing within a few feet of where a baby was trying to sleep. I
don't think that's realistic. I couldn't sleep with such commotion
going on, why should a child be able to? We're not that loud in the
evening, but we're present. DH and I talk, we read with the light on,
we interact. That interferes with her 'calm' time to sleep.
  #16  
Old March 14th 08, 11:03 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Linda
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Posts: 101
Default How to stop the night wakings?


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
. ..

Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We
scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came
up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our
bedroom.


I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly
think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep through
the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a single
person I've come across having done it (that could be because if it was
easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty of people
who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in a separate
room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the night toddlers -
I've had one of each myself!


This is what we did. DD still sleeps with us and is now just over 2. At
around 18 months or so I was sick of her waking to feed, often 2 or 3 times
a night (and we were wanting to try for another child and my period hadn't
returned yet) , so I'd suggest she just have a cuddle first, and if she
still wanted to nurse afterwards she could. She would still nurse to sleep
at that point, and I introduced it by saying let's just have a cuddle, and
then she can nurse. Then when she would wake in the night and want to nurse
I would do the same thing - the first few nights she woke, and I didn't
nurse her straight away she cried and I told her I was just going to cuddle
her first and then she could nurse - which I did. After a few days she
accepted it and it wasn't long before she woke up, cuddled and went straight
back to sleep without nursing at all. Then when she woke up after that time
I would say - "No, you don't nurse in the middle of the night!! (Like it
was a funny thing to want) - How about a cuddle, or a sip of water?" And
she would be fine, and pretty much after that time she started sleeping
through without a problem.
HTH


  #17  
Old March 14th 08, 12:53 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
deja.blues
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Posts: 242
Default How to stop the night wakings?


"cjra" wrote in message
...
On Mar 13, 5:03 pm, "lu-lu" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

btw - it's not that I'm making excuses, it's just that I'm trying to
not do a bunch of different things that require substantial effort and
lifestyle change in the hope that _one_ works. Many things we have
tried, and now I'll just take it one by one and see how it goes.



???????
It sounds like great change and effort is exactly what you need to do.


  #18  
Old March 14th 08, 02:15 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Rosalie B.
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Posts: 984
Default How to stop the night wakings?

cjra wrote:

On Mar 13, 6:34*pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
cjra wrote:


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,


Why does the area have to be quiet? *


Lights on, tv (sometimes), computer etc. all within a few feet of her?
Maybe your child can fall asleep with that, mine has never been able
to. All the usual 'house' noises. Frankly I don't expect anyone to be
able to sleep through all that. Perfectly silent? no, but constant
stimulation in the form of lights, talking etc, she can't handle that.


Are you putting her to bed in the living room or something? I would
expect a child to be able to sleep through noise of conversation, but
maybe music or a fan or something would mask that. My DIL does that
(for herself).

How about a crib tent? (I've never seen one, but I envision something
like one of those tings that they put over bird cages to make the
birds shut up and go to sleep. That would take care of the lights.

Mine of course didn't have the computer to deal with, but I don't
think my computer makes much noise - when dh wants to go to bed before
I do, and I'm still working on the laptop, I may mute it so that it
doesn't make ANY noise.

Once we HAD a TV in the bedroom, I would often go to sleep with it on
- actually now I refuse to have a TV that doesn't have a sleep setting
so that it goes off within x number of minutes of when I set it.
Otherwise I wake at about 2 am and it's still on. (It used to be that
the off-air tone would wake me.) It's like the sleep setting on a
clock radio (which is different from the snooze alarm).

[One of dh's and my real disagreements was that when we lived in
California, he'd have the radio set to play the Ira Blue show from SF
- this was a radio phone in-talk show. He would go to sleep. I would
get so worked up thinking of answers to say that I wouldn't sleep at
all. So he'd be snoring away and I'd turn the radio off, at which
time he'd wake up and turn it back on again, saying "I was listening
to that". Eventually I made it my routine to stay in the living room
watching the Tonight show with Johnny Carson on the TV. When that was
over and the radio had turned off, then I went to bed.]

One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. *Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. *Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap? *


Yes, it's an in-home daycare and all the kids nap at the same time.

Really it is better to do this - otherwise every time you go on a trip
she won't sleep.


Oddly enough, as we've travelled with her a lot, she sleeps well on
the road.


Well that's interesting. Why do you think that is? What is different
then?
  #19  
Old March 14th 08, 02:47 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 14, 6:53 am, "deja.blues" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

...

On Mar 13, 5:03 pm, "lu-lu" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

btw - it's not that I'm making excuses, it's just that I'm trying to
not do a bunch of different things that require substantial effort and
lifestyle change in the hope that _one_ works. Many things we have
tried, and now I'll just take it one by one and see how it goes.


???????
It sounds like great change and effort is exactly what you need to do.



I mean like going to the effort of moving the large awkward difficult
to move bed into another room temporarily in the hopes that it will
make a difference.

First I'll try smaller steps such as moving the crib close to the bed
and removing the 'arms' on it and not moving her when she wakes but
being close by to soothe her. If after some time of this it turns out
that having us in the room *is* the problem, then we'll go to the
hassle of moving our bed to another room for awhile.

Step by step.
  #20  
Old March 14th 08, 02:51 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 14, 8:15 am, Rosalie B. wrote:
cjra wrote:
On Mar 13, 6:34 pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
cjra wrote:


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,


Why does the area have to be quiet?


Lights on, tv (sometimes), computer etc. all within a few feet of her?
Maybe your child can fall asleep with that, mine has never been able
to. All the usual 'house' noises. Frankly I don't expect anyone to be
able to sleep through all that. Perfectly silent? no, but constant
stimulation in the form of lights, talking etc, she can't handle that.


Are you putting her to bed in the living room or something? I would
expect a child to be able to sleep through noise of conversation, but
maybe music or a fan or something would mask that. My DIL does that
(for herself).



I have described the house set up repeatedly, perhaps you missed it.
There are not very many rooms in the house. Every other area is OPEN.
It's a smallish house. There's not some side area to put her, so yeah,
wherever she'd be outside the bedroom would be in a common living
space.

My child does NOT sleep through noise of conversation, no matter how
tired she is. Maybe she's an oddball, but so be it. I never was able
to sleep with commotion either.

How about a crib tent? (I've never seen one, but I envision something
like one of those tings that they put over bird cages to make the
birds shut up and go to sleep. That would take care of the lights.


but not the noise.

Mine of course didn't have the computer to deal with, but I don't
think my computer makes much noise - when dh wants to go to bed before
I do, and I'm still working on the laptop, I may mute it so that it
doesn't make ANY noise.


Once we HAD a TV in the bedroom, I would often go to sleep with it on
- actually now I refuse to have a TV that doesn't have a sleep setting
so that it goes off within x number of minutes of when I set it.
Otherwise I wake at about 2 am and it's still on. (It used to be that
the off-air tone would wake me.) It's like the sleep setting on a
clock radio (which is different from the snooze alarm).


I can't sleep with a TV on.

Oddly enough, as we've travelled with her a lot, she sleeps well on
the road.


Well that's interesting. Why do you think that is? What is different
then?


Probably because she's with us 24/7 and I've always nursed her more
often when we've been travelling, because I don't want to disturb the
other people with her screams.
 




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