birthday vent

I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

On Jul 1, 1:01 am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

Ugh!!!!

That is so incredibly irresponsible. Did you say anything to the
hosts? That's an accident waiting to happen!

On Sun, 01 Jul 2007 08:45:54 -0700, cjra wrote:

On Jul 1, 1:01 am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

Ugh!!!!

That is so incredibly irresponsible. Did you say anything to the
hosts? That's an accident waiting to happen!

No, since I don't know them at all and I didn't really say much to them
other than hello. They were the birthday child's grandparents and I don't
think they spoke much English. I just spent the rest of the 3 1/2 hours
with my eyes on DD.

cjra wrote:

On Jul 1, 1:01 am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

Ugh!!!!

That is so incredibly irresponsible. Did you say anything to the
hosts? That's an accident waiting to happen!

I think the grandparents probably didn't think of it - they may never
have had a hot tub when their kids were little.

In any case, whenever I say something to someone about something like
that, they usually say - oh we've been doing that for years and
nothing has ever happened. But then when something DOES happen, they
blame it on me, as if my noticing caused the accident.

When my dd#2 had a big birthday, graduation party with tons of people
and a bouncy house, and catered BBQ and a tent and all, I sat by her
pool as an unofficial lifeguard. Most parents whose kids were
swimming were there themselves, but I stayed there just in case.

toypup wrote:
On Sun, 01 Jul 2007 08:45:54 -0700, cjra wrote:

On Jul 1, 1:01 am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.
Ugh!!!!

That is so incredibly irresponsible. Did you say anything to the
hosts? That's an accident waiting to happen!

No, since I don't know them at all and I didn't really say much to them
other than hello. They were the birthday child's grandparents and I don't
think they spoke much English. I just spent the rest of the 3 1/2 hours
with my eyes on DD.

If you know the birthday parents well, I would mention that that is a
danger to the kids (incluidng their kids). If you don't know them well,
I will still mention it, though you may never know them well after that. ;-0

On Mon, 02 Jul 2007 00:11:15 GMT, Jeff wrote:


If you know the birthday parents well, I would mention that that is a
danger to the kids (incluidng their kids). If you don't know them well,
I will still mention it, though you may never know them well after that. ;-0

I don't know them well at all. I would very much like to know them better,
because the children are stuck together like glue when they're at school.
DD talks about her friend constantly. They are very good friends, siamese
twins, according to the teacher. Unfortunately, the mom didn't seem to
care for conversation at the party. I got the impression she didn't want
the party and didn't want to be there. Could be that she was tired or shy
or something, but there was no enthusiasm. The dad was much more open and
friendly, but we didn't talk much because he was busy.

On Jul 1, 2:01?am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it is irresponsible to
have a hot tub in your yard with a tarp on it necessarily. I think it
is each parent's responsibility to watch over their children if they
are present or the host/hostess' responsibility to be present. Even if
they had a cover on it, which I believe most insurance companies state
you need to have for liability reasons, kids can lift them and be very
resourceful. I don't think there is a 3-y/o around who is able to be
left unsupervised in a backyard that is not fully child proofed, and
even then it is a risky practice, IMO.

On Jul 1, 9:13 pm, Chris wrote:
On Jul 1, 2:01?am, toypup wrote:

I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it is irresponsible to
have a hot tub in your yard with a tarp on it necessarily. I think it
is each parent's responsibility to watch over their children if they
are present or the host/hostess' responsibility to be present. Even if
they had a cover on it, which I believe most insurance companies state
you need to have for liability reasons, kids can lift them and be very
resourceful. I don't think there is a 3-y/o around who is able to be
left unsupervised in a backyard that is not fully child proofed, and
even then it is a risky practice, IMO.

There are different types of dangers in a backyard, and a hot tub that
is accessible is a big one. A tarp cover that can be easily moved is
not sufficient. The owners would be liable should one of those
children climbed in and drowned. It doesn't matter if the parents are
there or not. A 3 yo couldn't life the heavy semi-solid covers (solid
around the edges, tarp in the middle), but could lift just a tarp.

On Jul 1, 7:13 pm, Chris wrote:
On Jul 1, 2:01?am, toypup wrote:

I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it is irresponsible to
have a hot tub in your yard with a tarp on it necessarily. I think it
is each parent's responsibility to watch over their children if they
are present or the host/hostess' responsibility to be present. Even if
they had a cover on it, which I believe most insurance companies state
you need to have for liability reasons, kids can lift them and be very
resourceful. I don't think there is a 3-y/o around who is able to be
left unsupervised in a backyard that is not fully child proofed, and
even then it is a risky practice, IMO.

I agree with you Chris. When invited to someone else's home for a
party, I never assume it will be child-proofed to my standards. Could
be higher, could be lower.

The biggest issue, I think, would be if it was a drop-off party or a
party you are expected to stay at and watch your own child. If it is
the drop-off type, I will go into the home, look around, and if it is
not up to par, according to me, I would ask politely if I could stay
or if that is too weird, I would make a quick excuse saying something
like we had something pop up, but my daughter really wanted to deliver
her present in person.

It sucks, but you can't assume everyone will child proof the same way
you would, even if that means having a unattended hot tub in the
backyard at a 3 year olds party. (Wrong!)

Vickie

On Sun, 01 Jul 2007 19:13:00 -0700, Chris wrote:

On Jul 1, 2:01?am, toypup wrote:
I just went to DD's best friend's birthday party at the child's
grandparents' house. When we arrived, DD was escorted to the jumper in the
backyard where all the children were bouncing. That was fine by me. I
stood there for a while making small talk. I then went to see how DD was
doing at which point I notice they have a hot tub in the backyard that is
not protected by any barrier. It had a tarp floating on top, which was
even more dangerous, since a child could slip under it and not be noticed.
How irresponsible is that? There were lots of 3 and under there, including
DD. Some people just forget what it's like to have kids.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it is irresponsible to
have a hot tub in your yard with a tarp on it necessarily. I think it
is each parent's responsibility to watch over their children if they
are present or the host/hostess' responsibility to be present. Even if
they had a cover on it, which I believe most insurance companies state
you need to have for liability reasons, kids can lift them and be very
resourceful. I don't think there is a 3-y/o around who is able to be
left unsupervised in a backyard that is not fully child proofed, and
even then it is a risky practice, IMO.

What I think is irresponsible is that my child was escorted to the party
area without me. I came in, another adult told DD to follow her so that I
could chat with the child's father a little. That happens all the time. I
assume that since the adult is escorting her somewhere to play with other
children, it is a safe area. I was not told of the dangerous condition. I
could see the bouncer from the family room but not the hot tub. It wasn't
until I got back there to check up closely on DD that I noticed the hot
tub. That was my biggest peeve. Why was my child escorted away from me to
play with a dangerous ungaurded body of water nearby? It was literally
just a few feet from the bouncer.

It did take me a while to notice the hot tub. I did peek outside every so
often for DD, but could not see the hot tub from where I was. In fact, the
tarp did camoflauge the tub so that I noticed it later than I otherwise
would have.

I do think it is irresponsible to have the bouncer near the hot tub and not
have an adult present to specifically monitor that. It is the
responsibility of the host to notify the parents of the danger. Then, the
parent could decide whethe or not s/he wants to accept that risk and can
monitor.

The cover was not a safety cover. It was a floating tarp. The kids could
easily sink it by stepping on it or slip under its side, which was not
attached to the walls of the tub. It is more dangerous because a drowned
child would not be noticed underneath it. In fact, I read in the paper
some older girls who were swimmers died on such a cover once because the
cover sank underneath them when they walked on it, twisted around them as
it sunk, and the girls became trapped inside.