Question for SAHM

I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture. I have
been taking the kids with me to walk the dogs since before they were born.
Oh do I miss the Baby Bjorn and Back pack days!

We are in the process of moving and I need some good stress relief. Staying
home all the time with the constant barrage of "Mama...Mama" is getting to
me.

Anyone else? Suggestions for me and the dog would be appreciated!

TIA,
Amy

AT wrote:

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture. I have
been taking the kids with me to walk the dogs since before they were born.
Oh do I miss the Baby Bjorn and Back pack days!

We are in the process of moving and I need some good stress relief. Staying
home all the time with the constant barrage of "Mama...Mama" is getting to
me.

What do they like doing? Is there something you can
do that gets you out, but also provides some sort of incentive
for them? Alternatively, is there something they *don't*
like (aside from just stopping what they're currently
doing) about walking the dog or whatever other things you've
been doing? E.g., do they not like walking, or not like
the heat, or whatever, that you could avoid doing?
Are you just springing the outing on them right
before you do it? Or can you build the outing up during
the day so that they're looking forward to it? Can you
make a routine out of things so that it fits into their
day better (take a class, go to story time at the library,
etc.--something that happens at a regular time each week
or each day)?

Best wishes,
Ericka

"AT" wrote:

I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture.

I have 2 boys with about the same age span as your girls, and I hear you on
this.
No dog, but when I needed to get to the drug store, the grocery store, pick up
the older sister, whatever -- I told 'em I empathized, but hey, it's just how
it has to be. In a family, everyone's wants and needs are given consideration,
and sometimes, you don't get want you want so that someone else can get what
they need. Just because you're SAH doesn't mean they always get their immediate
druthers (nor should it, IMO -- your aim is to raise good citizens, not
princesses!)

That said, though, I can see that the appeal of walking the dog together might
be about shot. A playgroup and babysitting co-op when my kids were that age
helped immensely. I joined the playgroup first, which gave my kids and me a
chance to meet new people and decide which parents interacted with their kids
in ways that felt comfortable for us. Then we joined the sitting co-op, which
gave me free babysitting for such exotic getaways as root canal work, picking
up drycleaning and walking our dog. (OK, and my husband and I even went out to
dinner a few times.) And because it was a coop, we weren't obligated to repay
the sitter directly with sitting time -- some kids were allergic to dogs, for
instance and couldn't come to our house, and some kids, we thought, played too
roughly. No problem -- the coop was large enough to accommodate that.

It does require that you broaden your social circle -- in fact, you may have to
take the starting of a playgroup and coop on yourself. Worth it, though, I'd
think, to be able to get out regularly AND get the skinny on stuff like local
peds, swim programs, library happenings, best teachers, best schools, etc.

Good luck!

Lori G.
Milwaukee, WI

"AT" wrote in message ...
I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant.

Even my two big kids (9 and 6, but especially the 9 YO) sometimes get
cranky about being dragged around on errands. I think a certain amount
of errand running is just part of life, even for kids-at-home, and so
unless it's one of those days or weeks when I'm running a thousand
errands, I don't allow myself to be too badly guilt-tripped over it.
However, I do a few things to make it easier on them:

*warn ahead as much as possible ("I have a lot of errands to run
today..." and "In a half-hour, we need to go to the grocery store"
etc.)
*try to consolidate errand running as much as possible. Can you
combine a small shop at a nearby market with a dog-walk?
*put something fun into the errand run, e.g., a stop at a playground.
Could you walk the dog around a playground while they play there?
*make the getting there enjoyable. I let my kids pick some of the
music we bring along in the car (we're all very into music). At your
kids' ages, you might come up with verbal or visual games (e.g., I
Spy) or song rounds or something of that sort. Or bring along a bug
box or a rock-collecting box or binoculars? How about letting them
draw a random "map" (meaning something ultrasimple like a line going
"this way" then another line going "that way" etc.) and you promise to
follow it for the walk, as much as the lay of the land allows?

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
AT wrote:

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or
ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture. I
have
been taking the kids with me to walk the dogs since before they were
born.
Oh do I miss the Baby Bjorn and Back pack days!

We are in the process of moving and I need some good stress relief.
Staying
home all the time with the constant barrage of "Mama...Mama" is getting
to
me.

What do they like doing? Is there something you can
do that gets you out, but also provides some sort of incentive
for them? Alternatively, is there something they *don't*
like (aside from just stopping what they're currently
doing) about walking the dog or whatever other things you've
been doing? E.g., do they not like walking, or not like
the heat, or whatever, that you could avoid doing?
Are you just springing the outing on them right
before you do it? Or can you build the outing up during
the day so that they're looking forward to it? Can you
make a routine out of things so that it fits into their
day better (take a class, go to story time at the library,
etc.--something that happens at a regular time each week
or each day)?

Best wishes,
Ericka

I do try to give them fair warning that we will be leaving soon etc. We were
very much in a routine for a while until they started resisting me so much,
I thought I would try the relaxed approach and break up the routine! Now it
seems as they resist me even more!

The walking can be monotonous for them. I try to keep it fun for everyone,
like go to the beach so they can play and let the dog swim for his daily
exercise. That works as long as the tide isn't out too far and DD3 wants me
closer to her and not by the water! I try not to go when it is too hot and
miserable for everyone.

Maybe if I can be more creative it will be fun for everyone. Right now I am
having a hard time finding the creative energy in me!

Thanks for the reply.
Amy

"Hedgehog42" wrote in message
...
"AT" wrote:

I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest
after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but
you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with
a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends
with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally
understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or
ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture.

I have 2 boys with about the same age span as your girls, and I hear
you on
this.
No dog, but when I needed to get to the drug store, the grocery store,
pick up
the older sister, whatever -- I told 'em I empathized, but hey, it's just
how
it has to be. In a family, everyone's wants and needs are given
consideration,
and sometimes, you don't get want you want so that someone else can get
what
they need. Just because you're SAH doesn't mean they always get their
immediate
druthers (nor should it, IMO -- your aim is to raise good citizens, not
princesses!)

That said, though, I can see that the appeal of walking the dog together
might
be about shot. A playgroup and babysitting co-op when my kids were that
age
helped immensely. I joined the playgroup first, which gave my kids and me
a
chance to meet new people and decide which parents interacted with their
kids
in ways that felt comfortable for us. Then we joined the sitting co-op,
which
gave me free babysitting for such exotic getaways as root canal work,
picking
up drycleaning and walking our dog. (OK, and my husband and I even went
out to
dinner a few times.) And because it was a coop, we weren't obligated to
repay
the sitter directly with sitting time -- some kids were allergic to dogs,
for
instance and couldn't come to our house, and some kids, we thought, played
too
roughly. No problem -- the coop was large enough to accommodate that.

It does require that you broaden your social circle -- in fact, you may
have to
take the starting of a playgroup and coop on yourself. Worth it, though,
I'd
think, to be able to get out regularly AND get the skinny on stuff like
local
peds, swim programs, library happenings, best teachers, best schools, etc.

Good luck!

Lori G.
Milwaukee, WI

Thanks, Lori! *Sigh*. We did the playgroup thing when the DD #1 was little
until 2 years ago. It was a definite learning experience! The area we are
moving to is more family oriented than where we currently live. I hope to
have better contacts soon! If not, I may have to take it upon myself to
start a group!

"Nevermind" wrote in message
om...
"AT" wrote in message
...
I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest
after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but
you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week
with a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends
with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally
understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or
ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant.

Even my two big kids (9 and 6, but especially the 9 YO) sometimes get
cranky about being dragged around on errands. I think a certain amount
of errand running is just part of life, even for kids-at-home, and so
unless it's one of those days or weeks when I'm running a thousand
errands, I don't allow myself to be too badly guilt-tripped over it.
However, I do a few things to make it easier on them:

*warn ahead as much as possible ("I have a lot of errands to run
today..." and "In a half-hour, we need to go to the grocery store"
etc.)
*try to consolidate errand running as much as possible. Can you
combine a small shop at a nearby market with a dog-walk?
*put something fun into the errand run, e.g., a stop at a playground.
Could you walk the dog around a playground while they play there?
*make the getting there enjoyable. I let my kids pick some of the
music we bring along in the car (we're all very into music). At your
kids' ages, you might come up with verbal or visual games (e.g., I
Spy) or song rounds or something of that sort. Or bring along a bug
box or a rock-collecting box or binoculars? How about letting them
draw a random "map" (meaning something ultrasimple like a line going
"this way" then another line going "that way" etc.) and you promise to
follow it for the walk, as much as the lay of the land allows?

I like the map idea! We had been doing geocaching (high tech treasure
hunting with a GPS unit) for a while and have gotten out of that. The kids
definitely enjoyed trying to find the treasures. We may have to start that
again with them making their own map!

They are great car travelers once they get in.(It's getting them in and out
of the car to do my errands that drains me!) Tons of books on tape! Too bad
time in the car can't be considered exercise for everyone!

The playground is a great idea too.

Thanks for the suggestions
Amy

AT wrote:
I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but you
really need/want to get out?

You just tell them that you're going out and that's the end of the
matter. They're not the ones in charge. It won't take long before they
realise that an hour long walk is part of their day. If you're having a
day where you have no other plans to go out then I'd say it was pretty
important that you all got out for some fresh air and exercise.

As far as making it more exciting and involving them, here are some ideas.

- let the children take it in turns to decide the route you take
- let them take it in turns to decide whether you go out say before or
after lunch
- pick a colour or a letter and see if you can find things of that
colour or which start with that letter while you're out
- if you take the dog to a park to play let the children decide on what
ball, stick, frisbee to take and what game to play

Good luck,

Mary Ann

"AT" wrote in message
...
I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest
after
a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but
you
really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with
a
long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally
understand
and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture. I
have
been taking the kids with me to walk the dogs since before they were born.
Oh do I miss the Baby Bjorn and Back pack days!

We are in the process of moving and I need some good stress relief.
Staying
home all the time with the constant barrage of "Mama...Mama" is getting to
me.

Anyone else? Suggestions for me and the dog would be appreciated!

TIA,
Amy



For me, the answer would be routine, routine, routine, routine. *I* thrive
under that environment. But I also think it takes away the resistance to the
unexpected.

Good luck!

S

glunk wrote:

"AT" wrote in message
...

I have 2 DD's. 3 and almost 5 and a dog that is happiest and quietest

after

a nice walk.

My question is what do you do when your kids just want to stay home but

you

really need/want to get out? DH works 24 hour shifts 3 days per week with

a

long commute each way. No family nearby, neighbors all work . Friends with
kids in daycare.

The kids don't have too many activities or too busy schedules. At times
they are just into play together and don't want to leave (totally

understand

and try to be flexible when this is the case)

But, there are days that I just want to go out to walk the dog or ANYTHING
but some days the kids are so resistant. In the past I have just firmly
said, "The dog has to be walked" But you would think it was torture. I

have

been taking the kids with me to walk the dogs since before they were born.
Oh do I miss the Baby Bjorn and Back pack days!

We are in the process of moving and I need some good stress relief.

Staying

home all the time with the constant barrage of "Mama...Mama" is getting to
me.

Anyone else? Suggestions for me and the dog would be appreciated!

TIA,
Amy




For me, the answer would be routine, routine, routine, routine. *I* thrive
under that environment. But I also think it takes away the resistance to the
unexpected.

Good luck!

S



absolutely -- it is TIME for our walk --- and also Mom is in charge of
teh schedule -- you dn't ask or wheedle toddlers -- you organize their
day -- you may need to have a pattern of transition e.g. letting them
know that when the X show is over we will be taking our walk or whatever
to help them transitioin -- but confidently leading and not catering to
two year olds is a good idea in setting some family expectations