SAHM? (and dads, of course!)

For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago about
having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life goes (ie,
putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry, toys, etc.) and
that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a break
from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was born and
have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH or
DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or imply that
you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long? My days are currently
spent making meals and snacks, picking up toys, rounding up and doing
dishes, I think I pull the vacuum out 4-5 times a day, on average, and
finding things to do during the day has been, lately, fairly rough due to
the insanely gross-hot temperatures lately. I find I cook, clean, entertain
and basically try and keep some sanity around here all day and night, of
course. Basically what seems to be the case for every parent that stays at
home with children. My daily goal, it seems, is to try and keep the house
in the same basic state it was the day before, and getting ahead while the
kids are around is nearly impossible, as far as cleaning goes. I just try
and keep it the same as it is, but I find every couple days, the house
slides just a bit with clutter and things.
If I do manage to do some major cleaning during the day, DH does comment
about it out loud. It's basically like, "Wow. Looks good in here!" On the
days that it slides, he doesn't say it out loud (anymore) but definitely
implies that there's an obvious disaster, and quite frankly, I'm tempted to
do exactly what he thinks I do all day long - absolutely nothing.

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin's girlfriend on Sunday, and someone
brought up that joke about how a husband comes home from a long day at work,
sees the house has basically been ransacked and thinks that they've been
broken into - every room in the house is turned upside down, dishes are all
over the place, there's toys and clothes and everything EVERYWHERE and he
runs in calling to find his wife upstairs laying on the bed reading a book.
He says, "What happened in here?" and she calmly says something like, "Oh, I
just did exactly what you say I do all day long - absolutely nothing!" I'm
actually tempted to do just that. Has anyone been pushed to the end and
actually tried that? I'm feeling that I'm about at that point to just do
nothing all day long and see where it goes. I know there'd be dishes about
the house, Cheerios all across the kitchen floor, most likely crunched and
smashed, toys and dirt everywhere.

Has any SAHP actually sat back for a day and do nothing at all? I'm just
wondering if it would, at the very least, allow DH to realize that I don't
sit around picking my nose all day and that if I really do nothing, as he
figures I do, it would be a total disaster in no time at all, or if it would
backfire on me and leave me with a lot more work to do in the end. Oh, and,
of course, DH has outwardly said that he knows he could do a better job
maintaining something around here. I nearly busted a gut laughing at that
one...

In article qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89, "xkatx"
wrote:

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin's girlfriend on Sunday, and someone
brought up that joke about how a husband comes home from a long day at work,
sees the house has basically been ransacked and thinks that they've been
broken into - every room in the house is turned upside down, dishes are all
over the place, there's toys and clothes and everything EVERYWHERE and he
runs in calling to find his wife upstairs laying on the bed reading a book.
He says, "What happened in here?" and she calmly says something like, "Oh, I
just did exactly what you say I do all day long - absolutely nothing!"

I think I prefer the response I heard: "You know how you always ask me
what I do all day? Well, today I didn't."

I'm
actually tempted to do just that. Has anyone been pushed to the end and
actually tried that? I'm feeling that I'm about at that point to just do
nothing all day long and see where it goes. I know there'd be dishes about
the house, Cheerios all across the kitchen floor, most likely crunched and
smashed, toys and dirt everywhere.

Has any SAHP actually sat back for a day and do nothing at all? I'm just
wondering if it would, at the very least, allow DH to realize that I don't
sit around picking my nose all day and that if I really do nothing, as he
figures I do, it would be a total disaster in no time at all, or if it would
backfire on me and leave me with a lot more work to do in the end. Oh, and,
of course, DH has outwardly said that he knows he could do a better job
maintaining something around here. I nearly busted a gut laughing at that
one...

I never did that (though on days when the kids were sick I didn't do
much around the house), but didn't have a problem with DH not
understanding what I'd done.

I would recommend what we often told mothers in the Mothers of Multiples
Club who were having a problem with spouses who didn't understand why
they were not coming home to a spotless house and a hot meal now that
their wives were home all day with "nothing to do": we suggested they
take a Saturday and leave the house at the same time their husbands
usually left for work, announce that they'd be home at the time their
husbands usually came home, let him know what there was to cook for
dinner -- and make sure there was at least a short list of other things
he'd have to take care of during the day (a few loads of laundry, for
example.) Don't do ANY of the things you would normally do -- including
getting kids dressed or making beds or even making breakfast; leave it
all for him. Those who did it reported that their husbands often would
end up calling their mothers (or someone else) to come over to help, or
they'd get home to a total disaster. (Which does make more work, but
they said was worth it.) The majority of women who did this reported
that, for at least a while, their husbands were much more appreciative
of what they managed to accomplish during the day.

My DH WAS home one day a week with our oldest when she was tiny. (I was
supporting us, and went back to work 5 days a week when she was 6 weeks
old; he was in graduate school, and took Fridays off so she'd only have
to be in care 4 days a week.) Since he'd done one day a week alone with
one child, he was actually pretty much in awe that I could do every day
with 3 after the twins were born, and would tell other fathers who
complained about the amount of housekeeping their wives didn't do that
he figured that if the kids were alive at the end of the day, I'd done
my job!

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Can you arrange to go away for a day, perhaps on the weekend, and leave
all the kids with your DH? That might point out to him how hard it is
to take care of 3 little kids and keep the house looking good. And
make sure there is some laundry for him to get done that day too.
Optionally, tell him you expect a home-cooked meal just about ready
when you get home.

It might be a good experience for all of you.

That said, I do wonder just how clean he or you expect things to be
if you need to use the vacuum 4-5 times a day.

-- Zip

xkatx wrote:
For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago about
having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life goes (ie,
putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry, toys, etc.) and
that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a break
from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was born and
have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH or
DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or imply that
you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long? My days are currently
spent making meals and snacks, picking up toys, rounding up and doing
dishes, I think I pull the vacuum out 4-5 times a day, on average, and
finding things to do during the day has been, lately, fairly rough due to
the insanely gross-hot temperatures lately. I find I cook, clean, entertain
and basically try and keep some sanity around here all day and night, of
course. Basically what seems to be the case for every parent that stays at
home with children. My daily goal, it seems, is to try and keep the house
in the same basic state it was the day before, and getting ahead while the
kids are around is nearly impossible, as far as cleaning goes. I just try
and keep it the same as it is, but I find every couple days, the house
slides just a bit with clutter and things.
If I do manage to do some major cleaning during the day, DH does comment
about it out loud. It's basically like, "Wow. Looks good in here!" On the
days that it slides, he doesn't say it out loud (anymore) but definitely
implies that there's an obvious disaster, and quite frankly, I'm tempted to
do exactly what he thinks I do all day long - absolutely nothing.

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin's girlfriend on Sunday, and someone
brought up that joke about how a husband comes home from a long day at work,
sees the house has basically been ransacked and thinks that they've been
broken into - every room in the house is turned upside down, dishes are all
over the place, there's toys and clothes and everything EVERYWHERE and he
runs in calling to find his wife upstairs laying on the bed reading a book.
He says, "What happened in here?" and she calmly says something like, "Oh, I
just did exactly what you say I do all day long - absolutely nothing!" I'm
actually tempted to do just that. Has anyone been pushed to the end and
actually tried that? I'm feeling that I'm about at that point to just do
nothing all day long and see where it goes. I know there'd be dishes about
the house, Cheerios all across the kitchen floor, most likely crunched and
smashed, toys and dirt everywhere.

Has any SAHP actually sat back for a day and do nothing at all? I'm just
wondering if it would, at the very least, allow DH to realize that I don't
sit around picking my nose all day and that if I really do nothing, as he
figures I do, it would be a total disaster in no time at all, or if it would
backfire on me and leave me with a lot more work to do in the end. Oh, and,
of course, DH has outwardly said that he knows he could do a better job
maintaining something around here. I nearly busted a gut laughing at that
one...

"Zipadee" wrote in message
ups.com...
Can you arrange to go away for a day, perhaps on the weekend, and leave
all the kids with your DH? That might point out to him how hard it is
to take care of 3 little kids and keep the house looking good. And
make sure there is some laundry for him to get done that day too.
Optionally, tell him you expect a home-cooked meal just about ready
when you get home.

It might be a good experience for all of you.

That said, I do wonder just how clean he or you expect things to be
if you need to use the vacuum 4-5 times a day.

I assumed it was 4-5 times a week.
I'd suggest getting one of the hand held vacuums. The children argue over
whose turn it is to use that :-)
Debbie

"Zipadee" wrote in message
ups.com...
Can you arrange to go away for a day, perhaps on the weekend, and leave
all the kids with your DH? That might point out to him how hard it is
to take care of 3 little kids and keep the house looking good. And
make sure there is some laundry for him to get done that day too.
Optionally, tell him you expect a home-cooked meal just about ready
when you get home.

This might be a real good idea. I've gone out in the evening for a little
while (like a trip to the grocery store or something) or every now and then
on a weekend afternoon, but normally I take one or two with me. Maybe all
the kids with him would be totally different, as I've found when the boys
are together, they gang up and that's when the 'fun' starts...

It might be a good experience for all of you.

That said, I do wonder just how clean he or you expect things to be
if you need to use the vacuum 4-5 times a day.

-- Zip

I find that it's been since school's out that the vacuum doesn't get put
away and just sits in the corner, ready to use. We have no carpets in the
house (other than area rugs) and it's all flooring. I've found that with
the kids (actually, whole neighbourhood) coming in and out of the house,
there's tons of grass and dirt tracked in, which is a pain as the baby is at
the age where she's walking and crawling everywhere and seems to love to eat
random things on the floors. There's also the Cheerio problem - I find for
me, it's just easier to sit her in her high chair in the kitchen with me,
toss some Cheerios on her high chair tray and prepare a meal, do the dishes,
whatever. Cheerios find their way to the floor and there's always feet
running around to crush them all up, making a crunchy, Cheerio floor.
Oh, and the dog is notorious for tracking in a lot of brown grass pieces...
I try and toss him outside in the yard as much as possible during the day,
but with the heat, I have to limit that somewhat. He has a long mane (I did
give him a shave a month or so ago) and rolls around in the yard. Things
just seem to get tracked in and DD is known to play with or eat things on
the floor.
I sometimes think he expects the floors to be spotless, laundry to be
completely washed and put away every day, no dishes in or around the sink
and if he had his way, he would throw all the toys in the garbage.

xkatx wrote:
For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago about
having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life goes (ie,
putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry, toys, etc.)
and
that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a
break
from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was born
and
have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH
or
DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or imply
that
you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long? My days are
currently
spent making meals and snacks, picking up toys, rounding up and doing
dishes, I think I pull the vacuum out 4-5 times a day, on average, and
finding things to do during the day has been, lately, fairly rough due to
the insanely gross-hot temperatures lately. I find I cook, clean,
entertain
and basically try and keep some sanity around here all day and night, of
course. Basically what seems to be the case for every parent that stays
at
home with children. My daily goal, it seems, is to try and keep the
house
in the same basic state it was the day before, and getting ahead while
the
kids are around is nearly impossible, as far as cleaning goes. I just
try
and keep it the same as it is, but I find every couple days, the house
slides just a bit with clutter and things.
If I do manage to do some major cleaning during the day, DH does comment
about it out loud. It's basically like, "Wow. Looks good in here!" On
the
days that it slides, he doesn't say it out loud (anymore) but definitely
implies that there's an obvious disaster, and quite frankly, I'm tempted
to
do exactly what he thinks I do all day long - absolutely nothing.

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin's girlfriend on Sunday, and
someone
brought up that joke about how a husband comes home from a long day at
work,
sees the house has basically been ransacked and thinks that they've been
broken into - every room in the house is turned upside down, dishes are
all
over the place, there's toys and clothes and everything EVERYWHERE and he
runs in calling to find his wife upstairs laying on the bed reading a
book.
He says, "What happened in here?" and she calmly says something like,
"Oh, I
just did exactly what you say I do all day long - absolutely nothing!"
I'm
actually tempted to do just that. Has anyone been pushed to the end and
actually tried that? I'm feeling that I'm about at that point to just do
nothing all day long and see where it goes. I know there'd be dishes
about
the house, Cheerios all across the kitchen floor, most likely crunched
and
smashed, toys and dirt everywhere.

Has any SAHP actually sat back for a day and do nothing at all? I'm just
wondering if it would, at the very least, allow DH to realize that I
don't
sit around picking my nose all day and that if I really do nothing, as he
figures I do, it would be a total disaster in no time at all, or if it
would
backfire on me and leave me with a lot more work to do in the end. Oh,
and,
of course, DH has outwardly said that he knows he could do a better job
maintaining something around here. I nearly busted a gut laughing at
that
one...

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89...
For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago about
having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life goes (ie,
putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry, toys, etc.)
and that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a break
from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was born
and have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH or
DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or imply
that you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long?
What winds me up is when I've taken both children round Legoland all day on
Saturday. They're tired. I'm tired. Dh has had peace and quiet all day to do
the things he needs/wants to do.
Dh then tend to play "I've had such a hard day working while you've had a
fun day at Legoland" (he won't get himself an annual pass for himself
though) If I point out that it isn't a "fun day" for me then he'll say
something like "well I was insert one of his self-imposed jobs that don't
benefit me and only had an hour to myself". Of course that doesn't include
the time he had lunch/tea breaks etc.
Of course if he takes the children off for a couple of hours (it wouldn't
usually be more than that) I've spent the time entirely for my own
amusement...
At some point I'm going to get him that annual pass...
Debbie

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89, "xkatx"
wrote:

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin's girlfriend on Sunday, and
someone
brought up that joke about how a husband comes home from a long day at
work,
sees the house has basically been ransacked and thinks that they've been
broken into - every room in the house is turned upside down, dishes are
all
over the place, there's toys and clothes and everything EVERYWHERE and he
runs in calling to find his wife upstairs laying on the bed reading a
book.
He says, "What happened in here?" and she calmly says something like,
"Oh, I
just did exactly what you say I do all day long - absolutely nothing!"

I think I prefer the response I heard: "You know how you always ask me
what I do all day? Well, today I didn't."

Yes, that's it exactly.

I'm
actually tempted to do just that. Has anyone been pushed to the end and
actually tried that? I'm feeling that I'm about at that point to just do
nothing all day long and see where it goes. I know there'd be dishes
about
the house, Cheerios all across the kitchen floor, most likely crunched
and
smashed, toys and dirt everywhere.

Has any SAHP actually sat back for a day and do nothing at all? I'm just
wondering if it would, at the very least, allow DH to realize that I
don't
sit around picking my nose all day and that if I really do nothing, as he
figures I do, it would be a total disaster in no time at all, or if it
would
backfire on me and leave me with a lot more work to do in the end. Oh,
and,
of course, DH has outwardly said that he knows he could do a better job
maintaining something around here. I nearly busted a gut laughing at
that
one...

I never did that (though on days when the kids were sick I didn't do
much around the house), but didn't have a problem with DH not
understanding what I'd done.

I would recommend what we often told mothers in the Mothers of Multiples
Club who were having a problem with spouses who didn't understand why
they were not coming home to a spotless house and a hot meal now that
their wives were home all day with "nothing to do": we suggested they
take a Saturday and leave the house at the same time their husbands
usually left for work, announce that they'd be home at the time their
husbands usually came home, let him know what there was to cook for
dinner -- and make sure there was at least a short list of other things
he'd have to take care of during the day (a few loads of laundry, for
example.)

5-530 in the morning comes real early on a Saturday (or Sunday, as he does
often work a few hours on Saturdays) but that would be a small price to pay
to hop in the car, maybe take off to my parents' house and sleep a couple
hours in peace on their couch!

Don't do ANY of the things you would normally do -- including
getting kids dressed or making beds or even making breakfast; leave it
all for him. Those who did it reported that their husbands often would
end up calling their mothers (or someone else) to come over to help, or
they'd get home to a total disaster. (Which does make more work, but
they said was worth it.) The majority of women who did this reported
that, for at least a while, their husbands were much more appreciative
of what they managed to accomplish during the day.

I like the line of "managed to accomplish" as that's what it definitely
seems like. I have a feeling I'd come home to a complete disaster, as I
don't think he would have the balls to call his mother up, and even if he
did, I kind of think she'd tell him to suck it up and see for himself what
it's like!

My DH WAS home one day a week with our oldest when she was tiny. (I was
supporting us, and went back to work 5 days a week when she was 6 weeks
old; he was in graduate school, and took Fridays off so she'd only have
to be in care 4 days a week.) Since he'd done one day a week alone with
one child, he was actually pretty much in awe that I could do every day
with 3 after the twins were born, and would tell other fathers who
complained about the amount of housekeeping their wives didn't do that
he figured that if the kids were alive at the end of the day, I'd done
my job!

Yes, I find that if the house hasn't burned down, kids are still alive and I
am too, then that's enough to call it a day. Last night, even, I told DH
I'd give him a week or less before he would admit that it's easier said than
done. There's been times where I've gone to work for him, did his exact
same job, like in a few cases where he was sick - which is so rare, and why
I went in to work for him. At this point, I wouldn't DARE walk on walls or
a roof, nor would I even attempt to haul lumber or stand up walls - what he
does. I'm just too far off balance, even with 3 months left to go, and I
don't care to try and carry or lift more than I have to. A day in the sun,
as well, would most likely kill me I do completely understand how his
job works - no, it's not an easy job to do - but the few days I went in
alone for him and he stayed home, DD wasn't born and the boys were in
daycare. I've gone to work for or with him a number of times... Maybe now
it's time to switch places. 5 and 6 years old is hard to deal with at
times. I sometimes think twins would have been easier than 13 months apart
in age, but then realize kids are kids, and it really doesn't matter about
age difference!

I think I am going to set the alarm on Saturday for 5am, and actually get up
and leave if he's not getting ready to go to work, and plan for Sunday just
in case. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind if I borrowed her couch for a couple
hours and had a nice lunch with her to come back home around 3, maybe 4!
I've never thought of making it a day event. I can just imagine what I
would come home to... Thankfully, children won't starve in a few hours, and
eventually they'll bug him enough that he'll get out of bed at a normal
time!

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89...
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your
DH or DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment
or imply that you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long?

Yes, absolutely. This post is going to be very negative because being
a SAHM has been a big strain on my marriage, so before I start I'd
like to give the standard disclaimers that this is only my perspective
based on my experiences, blah, blah, blah.

I think there are some men (spouses) who just don't "get it". DH
would come home and only see what I *hadn't* done. If I scoured the
kitchen, he'd comment on the bathrooms, if I scrubbed the toilets,
he'd see that the vacuuming needed done. If I had what I considered a
really good day, where I was actively involved in creative fun
pursuits with the kids, he'd be angry that I'd gotten "nothing" done!
I'd run myself ragged trying to please him, but just wasn't capable of
doing it.

Over time it got worse instead of better as he developed a "king in
his castle" attitude. He doesn't think he should have to clear his
own place at the table because he works all day. He doesn't have to
help with dinner or cleanup even though he's home, because he works
all day. If he's out of beer, I have to run get it because he works
all day. He's also slowly taken more control of the money as time has
gone on

It doesn't help that someone will always weigh in with, "But he *does*
work hard all day! I always made sure our house was clean, the toys
were picked up, and the kids were fed and quiet before my man came
home!" More power to them if they are capable of that, but I don't
think they get it either. It's not that I expected him to come home
and put in another full day of work. I thought it was fair that the
house and kids were my responsibility, and Lord knows I *tried* to do
what I could to make his life easier. It was that the more time went
on, the less we felt like a team, and the more it felt like master and
servant.

Would leaving the house a disaster one day work on your husband? I
don't know, I know it would just have made DH angrier. And leaving
for a weekend to let him see what it was like taking care of the kids
all day didn't work either. He just said, "It's easier for you
because they're used to you." I personally think that if your husband
won't take your word for it, if he finds it acceptable not to respect
you and to think the worst of you, that trying to make him see isn't
going to do any good. But I know that people have claimed that
certain things opened their husband's eyes, so who knows?

I wish I had some better advice for you, but in my case, I don't think
there is anything I could have done to stop the downward slide other
than going back to work. I do wonder if the advantage to the kids of
having their mother home was worth the disadvantage of the damage done
to their parents' relationship.

Sorry to be so negative, and I hope your situation isn't as dire.

Bizby

"Welches" wrote in message
...

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89...
For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago about
having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life goes (ie,
putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry, toys, etc.)
and that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a
break from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was
born and have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH
or DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or
imply that you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long?
What winds me up is when I've taken both children round Legoland all day
on Saturday. They're tired. I'm tired. Dh has had peace and quiet all day
to do the things he needs/wants to do.

Legoland?? I think I wish there was one of those around here! I get
this feeling when off we go to something like Galaxy Land... I cannot stand
West Edmonton Mall, and that darned Galaxy Land drives me mad, but since
it's an event and reason to get out of the house, I think it's basically the
same idea.
Often when we go, DH wants/needs to play on the computer, catch up on his TV
shows or fiddle around with his bike. Things he actually *enjoys* and
absolutely *needs* to do. "Oh, I'm so beat from the 3 hours I spent riding
my bike around!" (which again, he wants and enjoys - and *needs* to do)

Dh then tend to play "I've had such a hard day working while you've had a
fun day at Legoland" (he won't get himself an annual pass for himself
though) If I point out that it isn't a "fun day" for me then he'll say
something like "well I was insert one of his self-imposed jobs that don't
benefit me and only had an hour to myself". Of course that doesn't
include the time he had lunch/tea breaks etc.

Or around here, it's a Quake or Starcraft break for a few hours... Between
fiddling with his bike and actually riding it...

Of course if he takes the children off for a couple of hours (it wouldn't
usually be more than that) I've spent the time entirely for my own
amusement...

Hm... Wish I had a couple hours even without any kids that didn't include
them being in bed at home while I picked up groceries...

At some point I'm going to get him that annual pass...
Debbie

Yes, if only DH drove it would make things over here a bit easier, as I
*would* ship him and all the kids off to Galaxy Land for the day... He'll
take the kids for half an hour for a bike ride or a walk to the park for an
hour or so...

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:AToxg.59891$B91.32943@edtnps82...

"Welches" wrote in message
...

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:qYnxg.167448$771.16048@edtnps89...
For those who might be around both, I had posted a little while ago
about having some sort of help around the house as far as daily life
goes (ie, putting dirty dishes in the sink, picking up dirty laundry,
toys, etc.) and that doesn't seem to be helping.

Now, though, this all brings me to a question for any who might be in a
similar situation, or might have been at some point...
I'm currently a SAHM. Gave up (or maybe it's better to say I took a
break from) my career with child protection about 6 months before DD was
born and have been at home ever since.
DH works full time as a framer (as in building houses). DS1 is 6 and a
half. DS2 is 5 and a half. DD is almost 1. We're expecting DD2 in
October.
For any moms and/or dads that stayed at home with the kids, did your DH
or DW come home from work at the end of the day to either comment or
imply that you surely must do absolutely nothing all day long?
What winds me up is when I've taken both children round Legoland all day
on Saturday. They're tired. I'm tired. Dh has had peace and quiet all day
to do the things he needs/wants to do.

Legoland?? I think I wish there was one of those around here! I get
this feeling when off we go to something like Galaxy Land... I cannot
stand West Edmonton Mall, and that darned Galaxy Land drives me mad, but
since it's an event and reason to get out of the house, I think it's
basically the same idea.
Often when we go, DH wants/needs to play on the computer, catch up on his
TV shows or fiddle around with his bike. Things he actually *enjoys* and
absolutely *needs* to do. "Oh, I'm so beat from the 3 hours I spent
riding my bike around!" (which again, he wants and enjoys - and *needs* to
do)

Dh then tend to play "I've had such a hard day working while you've had a
fun day at Legoland" (he won't get himself an annual pass for himself
though) If I point out that it isn't a "fun day" for me then he'll say
something like "well I was insert one of his self-imposed jobs that
don't benefit me and only had an hour to myself". Of course that doesn't
include the time he had lunch/tea breaks etc.

Or around here, it's a Quake or Starcraft break for a few hours... Between
fiddling with his bike and actually riding it...

Of course if he takes the children off for a couple of hours (it wouldn't
usually be more than that) I've spent the time entirely for my own
amusement...

Hm... Wish I had a couple hours even without any kids that didn't include
them being in bed at home while I picked up groceries...

At some point I'm going to get him that annual pass...
Debbie

Yes, if only DH drove it would make things over here a bit easier, as I
*would* ship him and all the kids off to Galaxy Land for the day... He'll
take the kids for half an hour for a bike ride or a walk to the park for
an hour or so...
Ah, only dh drives which means he usually does the big shop on Saturday, and
the children enjoy it so he usually takes them. That takes about 1.5 hours.
I have no guilt about him doing it, as I know once I've passed the test,
then I'll be always doing it.
But going to Legoland either takes 6 trains/4buses there and back or about
1.5hours either way or he drops us off and picks us up, taking about 20
minutes either way.
I suggest you enthuse your older ones about the fascinating machanics in the
bike so they can help daddy, and buy them some of the nice child seat
attachments which mean they can go too?
Debbie