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#1
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explaining a pet death
My twins are about to turn 4 on the 11th of next month. The cat has been
around since long before they were born. They knew to keep their distance from the cat at first, as she had no desire to interact with them. But lately, she's mellowed out and let them (as well as our 18-month-old) pet her. They're starting to get attached to her. Well, I took her to the vet yesterday, and she possibly has diabetes. It's complicated, but the bottom line is, she may have to be put to sleep, and she may not. I am posting this to ask what other parents do when this happens, especially at this age. If they were older, they'd understand it. If they were younger, like my toddler, no explanation would be needed. If I explain to them that she's very sick and has to be put down, then I take her to the vet to do that, then they will get a negative impression of doctors, and might also freak out whenever they or I get sick. I obviously cannot sneak the cat out of the house and offer no explanation. It's gonna be tough. |
#2
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"middletree" wrote in
eenews.net: My twins are about to turn 4 on the 11th of next month. snip If I explain to them that she's very sick and has to be put down, then I take her to the vet to do that, then they will get a negative impression of doctors, and might also freak out whenever they or I get sick. I obviously cannot sneak the cat out of the house and offer no explanation. It's gonna be tough. Leave out the part about putting down kitty and replace it with "the vet may not be able to treat her because she's so old". Cindy Wells (I don't think they'd get as negative an impression esp. if you include something about the lifespan of the housecat. I know big dogs are elderly by age 7 but I'm not clear on the values for cats.) |
#3
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I would definitely not tell them that the cat is being put down. We
went through this a few years back with my parents' dog, who my DD was very close to. All we told her was that he was very old and sick and he died because of that. I know if we had tried to tell her about putting the dog to sleep, we would have heard "You killed him!" I just don't think that four-year olds can understand why this is a humane thing to do to a pet! Because the kids will know you are taking the cat to the vet, you may just want to tell them that the vet tried very hard to make her better, but she died while she was there. That is all they need to know until they are older. I am sorry your beloved cat is sick Ellen |
#4
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James --
Sorry you're going through this. Losing a pet is never easy. I agree with Cindy and Ellen. They're too young to process the idea of putting a pet down. In a couple of years they might be able to understand that, but not at barely four. Keep it simple. And though I could be wrong, they might actually surprise you and not take it too hard anyway. That's sort of a gray area age in terms of dealing with that sort of thing. We've been discussing this with our two as well, as our dog is now fifteen, and though he's still quite happy, we (and they) know that he won't live forever. Our kids are eight now, though, and able to understand issues such as quality of life that a four-year-old wouldn't be able to grasp as readily. Off topic here, but Cindy, our dog would beg to differ about seven being "elderly"! At seven, our dog was in his prime, often doing twenty-mile hikes with us. Even as recently as last fall, at age fourteen, he was still doing eight to ten miles. |
#5
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Ellen and others:
Thanks. I never thought of that. Just telling them that she died is good enough, without stating that I played a part in it. And it will be truthful, because the cat will die of her diabetes in pretty short order if nothing is done. I was supposed to take her for a 2nd blood test, for confirmation, today after work, but I had to work late. Will try again tomorrow. |
#6
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"Julie" wrote in
: snip Off topic here, but Cindy, our dog would beg to differ about seven being "elderly"! At seven, our dog was in his prime, often doing twenty-mile hikes with us. Even as recently as last fall, at age fourteen, he was still doing eight to ten miles. For simplicity, I was using the 7 dog years per one human year (which holds true more for the puppy than the adult dog) correlation. It does depend a lot on the breed and the individual. My family tends to have German Shep's and the first one I knew died at 8. The others started getting arthritis issues around that same age but lived to 12-13 years. Cindy Wells (Both arthritis cases were related to injuries, not genetics - one got hit by a car and the other kicked by a mule. They both had other age related issues develop after that - so we had lots of quality of life discussions.) ) |
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