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#1
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just curous
i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose 7 days a week.or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my boys.now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl in my life.i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just want to see what uall think. |
#2
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just curous
i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time
partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i i guess i just want to see what uall think. Do you really think anybody here is going to tell you to ignore your kids while you get laid? I have to say I too, see some questionable behavior of single parents and often am convinced that sometimes sterilization should be manditory. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#3
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just curous
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#4
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just curous
Keith Crabill wrote:
i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time partying and sleeping around and they do with their children. Firstly, let me say I am highly opinionated and am not offended if you disagree or ignore everything I wirte. I had a mother who never ever left us alone, got 15 minutes from home and returned because she didin't like the babysitter. She never got out of bed until noon and both parents never, ever kept a promise. Mistreated we weren't. Neglected we were. I strongly believe that being a good parent has everything to do with parenting and absolutely nothing to do with being a good spouse although they have similar requesite qualities. As kids we never had hand-me-down clothes and ate the finest food money could buy. But in the 18 to 20 years I lived at home, my brother nor I ever experienced a family vacation. So I say this. If you take your kids backpacking in Europe with holey shoes, torn clothes and very little money, you have given them one of the greatest gifts, experience. If you feed your children fine food, give them great clothes protect from the real world, you can, depending on circumstances, do a great deal of harm from which a child may never recover. Children need to be with people other than their parents because they learn how to relate and integrate with other people something most people have to do for the rest of their working lives as well socially. In fact, I think you know as do most others that it isn't usually who is the smartest or fastest that gets the job, it is the one that people enjoy being around and can relate to despite their shortcomings. i was told i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around. am i weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose 7 days a week. Not necessarily weird, but if you have an active social life you can bring energy and experience and new people into your life who when they meet your boys are able to have a positive role in their lives even if they only friends as opposed to a new boyfriend. or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my boys. Well, yes, you should come home to your boys, but what is critical to your boys is that they fit in with other chilren, and I am sure they do, because if they don't and you have to proect them and make excuses for them, these boys will not necessarily be first choice for any woman/wife no matter how much you love them. now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl in my life. While that is a wonderful loving statement you have made, and your boys should play an importantly role in your life, it is their integration into society and their ability to fit in that is key. Very, very important. i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just want to see what uall think. |
#5
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just curous. One more comment I forgot.
I had trouble making my earlier point in relation to your question. But
a recent incident (true story) will explain it well. A women I know had a baby and a year later returned to work. The baby was in the mother's care 365 at home and she never went anywhere with the new baby. Giving the mother the benefit of the doubt. And I do! The baby of one year went to daycare and apart possibly from the first day crying when his mother left him for the very first time, on every day that followed, the child cried because the kid wanted to stay at daycare. This story was told by the mother. Remember this a one year old baby. See how smart kids are - even at one years old. That should tell you everthing you need to know about raising a child. My observation of the mother and child and drawing on my life's experience, I understand why the child acted the way it did. I cannot for the life of me understand how that child at such a young age had the capacity to react the way it did. Yet I understand why. While my brother and I never, ever agreed on anything and were never socially in one another's company during our lifetime, we agreed on one thing. Our mother should never have had (adopted) children. That doesn't mean she didn't love us and that doesn't mean we didn't love her. She simply couldn't be a proper parent, not even close. Joelle wrote: i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i i guess i just want to see what uall think. Do you really think anybody here is going to tell you to ignore your kids while you get laid? I have to say I too, see some questionable behavior of single parents and often am convinced that sometimes sterilization should be manditory. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#6
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just curous
sleep the other 10 % of the time
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#7
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just curous. One more comment I forgot.
'Kate wrote in message ... On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 05:55:59 GMT, occupant Women in the US are likely to return to work 6 weeks after the birth of a baby. We don't get much leave time and economic survival of the family often depends on the mother's income - married or not. Is there not a government paid parental leave in the US, or is the 6 weeks it? When my son was born, the government leave was 6 months, now it is one year. You only get 56% of your salary, but if you can afford to live with that, it is so worth taking the time. Betty |
#8
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just curous. One more comment I forgot.
There is no Federal mandated paid maternity leave in the U.S. There is the
Family Medical Leave Act, which allows a new mother (and father, I believe) up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave to care for a young child. There is no paid leave, however. It is up to the employer to offer these benefits. Lisa in NJ "Betty" wrote in message news:iMPXb.515730$X%5.95514@pd7tw2no... 'Kate wrote in message ... On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 05:55:59 GMT, occupant Women in the US are likely to return to work 6 weeks after the birth of a baby. We don't get much leave time and economic survival of the family often depends on the mother's income - married or not. Is there not a government paid parental leave in the US, or is the 6 weeks it? When my son was born, the government leave was 6 months, now it is one year. You only get 56% of your salary, but if you can afford to live with that, it is so worth taking the time. Betty |
#9
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just curous
You're not "old school." You're doing the most important job in the world,
being a parent to your children. As far as going out, every parent needs to feel comfortable with their choices. I don't say what is right or wrong, but for myself, I waited quite a long time before I did "the singles scene." In the meantime, if you don't want to do that, just do what feels right. Take up a new hobby, join a club, volunteer, etc. When I started going out, 1. I wanted a break from my kids. 2. I wanted some adult conversation. 3. I was hoping to meet at least one nice person. Best of luck to you. "Keith Crabill" wrote in message ... i have some friends who r single parents and they spend more time partying and sleeping around and they do with their children.i was told i should have some fun and do the same.i told them that sorry i love my children way to much to spend about 90 % of time screwing around.am i weird for not leaving my boys with a baby sitter and just cutting loose 7 days a week.or am i doing right by going to work and coming home to my boys.now on saturday i mite go out but i dont look to get drunk or jump into bed with just anybody.i feel that my boys r the most important ppl in my life.i guess im just old school lol.just dont see that just cutting loose 7 days a week is rite.(am i making sense).i guess i just want to see what uall think. |
#10
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just curous. One more comment I forgot.
'Kate wrote:
On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 15:27:46 -0500, "Lisa W." There is no Federal mandated paid maternity leave in the U.S. There is the Family Medical Leave Act, which allows a new mother (and father, I believe) up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave to care for a young child. There is no paid leave, however. It is up to the employer to offer these benefits. Lisa in NJ Unless, of course, mom is single and willing to quit work and go on welfare. Oh wait... ya can't even quit because you *are* employable and you're expected to work so shove the baby in whatever daycare you can afford and get back to it. Who cares whether you're sufficiently recovered from childbirth or whether there's adequate, affordable daycare or how you're going to transport the baby there in your 15 year old car with no breaks 'cause you spent *that* money on the deductable from your employer provided insurance at a skyrocketing cost due to medical malpractice insurance costs rising. Single mothers are the bottom of the barrel anyway according to all the local newspapers who love to report that the reason for juvenile crime, dropouts, and teen pregnancy is single mothers. 'Kate Well, there was a time when lots of offspring were needed and the taxes and social structure was such that it benefitted women who mostly stayed home. But today most wifes have to work to help the husbands who, unless professionals, don't earn sufficient to support a mother and children at home. Canadians have not demanded that there be significant tax releave for people to have babies. There are plenty of Canadians having lots of children but often their culture difference have built in support that are conducive to having children as opposed to the average Canadian who are structured to go it alone for the most part. |
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