Do I tell?

"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through, (whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis

"denanson" Dennis@Large .ie wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through,
(whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis



She has asked but not since I knew the answer. I will stall for time, trust
me.

I spoke with her Grandmother and she is just upset and angry and sad. I feel
so bad for her. Then I get ****ed at him for putting her through this,
because she is such a great women. She is like my second Mom but better
because more a friend.

Next day I have to myself, I am going to make some phone calls to drug
hotlines or wherever and find someone to talk to about this.

T

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:22:22 +0100, "denanson" Dennis@Large .ie
wrote:


"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through,
(whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis


Perhaps the age and disposition of the child matters. Some kids
imagine the worst. Many children won't ask even if they want to know
because they fear making a parent sad.

Plus, knowing ones' family history is important.

'Kate

I think she will ask again, but it might be some time away. I am still
thinking this all out and going to search out some professional help.

Thanks.
T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:22:22 +0100, "denanson" Dennis@Large .ie
wrote:


"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through,
(whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis


Perhaps the age and disposition of the child matters. Some kids
imagine the worst. Many children won't ask even if they want to know
because they fear making a parent sad.

Plus, knowing ones' family history is important.

'Kate

I think she will ask again, but it might be some time away. I am still
thinking this all out and going to search out some professional help.

Yeah........she will ask at the absolute worst time....... kids seem to have
that incredible sense of timing :-)


Thanks.
T

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:22:22 +0100, "denanson" Dennis@Large .ie
wrote:


"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through,
(whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis


Perhaps the age and disposition of the child matters. Some kids
imagine the worst. Many children won't ask even if they want to know
because they fear making a parent sad.

Plus, knowing ones' family history is important.

'Kate

I think she will ask again, but it might be some time away. I am still
thinking this all out and going to search out some professional help.

Yeah........she will ask at the absolute worst time....... kids seem to
have
that incredible sense of timing :-)




Yeah! Like in front of a bunch of people or something, or worse yet, when I
am in a bad mood. lol

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:22:22 +0100, "denanson" Dennis@Large .ie
wrote:


"Tiffany" wrote in message

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through,
(whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Wait for the questions.

Dennis


Perhaps the age and disposition of the child matters. Some kids
imagine the worst. Many children won't ask even if they want to
know
because they fear making a parent sad.

Plus, knowing ones' family history is important.

'Kate

I think she will ask again, but it might be some time away. I am still
thinking this all out and going to search out some professional help.

Yeah........she will ask at the absolute worst time....... kids seem to
have
that incredible sense of timing :-)




Yeah! Like in front of a bunch of people or something, or worse yet, when
I
am in a bad mood. lol

BOTH LOL


T

What does your son think of his father's addictions, that he isn't a part of
his life, ect? To bad the father can't tell him about his AID's and how it
has effected his life. It could be an eye opener. Most people don't realize
just how much AID's can effect your life unless you see it happening. Of
course with the meds, even it isn't sounding as bad as it use to.

Your son is 15? Have the talk.

Honestly, my son thinks he's an asshole, hence the 10 foot tall and
bulletproof. Whether the story had ANY effect (other than to cause my son to
lose all respect for a father he barely knew, and now he feels contempt for
his weaknesses).

My son has taken the self-protective route of supposedly not caring whether his
father is involved. I know how it hurts him (as it would any child) but he
blocks that out.

The last conversation I had with his father (over a year ago) was that he
couldn't POSSIBLY have his son come visit because he just moved in with a new
girlfriend and had too much going on.

I have had "the talk" with him (actually, I've been very open and answered his
questions to the best of my ability and his ability to understand) over the
years. I think he feels somewhat comfortable talking to me about it as needed
as he was telling me about how the boys at school were talking about
masturbating with lotion (as twisted as this may seem, I was ENCOURAGED that he
could talk to me about that but, after all, I'm a woman and only know so much
about male stuff).

Even with meds, it proves to be a miserable existence for those with AIDS.

Just my 2 cents.........
Christine

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
Well, I just found out that S's father died from an overdose of cocaine
and
menth.
.

Though it does not surprise me, I know this information can be pretty hard
on S. Part of me wants to hide it from her but I don't like the idea of
secrets. Part of me knows that this can be a BIG deterrent from her ever
doing drugs, when she comes to that part of her teenage years.

So I know I always get advice that helps me think things through, (whether
I
agree totally or not) and I am sending out the advice call again.

Thanks guys/gals.

T


Unless she asked outright I wouldn't offer up the information until she's
old enough and further removed from the situation (hence give her more
time.) It's a very difficult situation, mostly because I would want to tell
my children and perhaps try to gleam something from such a horrible
experience, but then again, some truths are hurtful. Either way you go
Tif, you have my support.

Christine