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#11
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What to do????? What to do?????
"Joelle" wrote in message ... I think what ****es me off is that her feelings have always been secondary in her father's life and it still shows. Well, that's right. That's the hard truth. THe woman and baby meant more to this guy than your daughter. That's what ****es you off. Not the fact that you can't get some stuff for your daughter. You or I can't really say that this women and baby meant more to him then my daughter. He may have did the same thing to them as he did to me. That is NOT the issue here. He didn't stick around long enough to prove anything. Grief is a time of anger and anger gets misplaced. It's not this woman's fault. You are not angry at her. You are angry at a dead man. Don't start aiming it at her, or she'll start aiming her anger at you and you don't need that, your daughter doesn't need that. I am not wanting to aim anger at her, which was why I posted suggestions on the best way to proceed. Take a deep breath. The stuff is not worth it. The stuff will not change the fact that he was not a father to her. Maybe he would have been, but he went a died and stuff isn't going to change that. That's what you need to talk to your daughter about. You may need to let this woman, her baby and his stuff go. joelle I would love to let the whole thing go but you see, she keeps emailing S, talking about the baby and stuff. I wish I could say the stuff isn't worth it but I think in the long run it will be. She does have some memories and it is nice to have momentums of people we loved. I am glad for the things that I got from my Grandparents when they passed. She will also be glad to have some things of her fathers. Thanks for all the suggestions. T |
#12
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What to do????? What to do?????
"lm" wrote in message ... On Fri, 9 Jul 2004 09:11:29 -0400, "Tiffany" wrote: "lm" wrote in message news On Thu, 8 Jul 2004 22:33:57 -0400, "Tiffany" wrote: Hi all..... snip Tiff, does your daughter want this stuff or do you? lm She wants something to remember him. Again, this stuff isn't worth money, its stuff like cd's, baby book/pictures, ect. Whether or not its her or I acting in her best interest, she is still entitled to his stuff. It's just stuff. If she has memories, she can remember him without stuff. If she has a photo of him or of them, that's even better. CDs of his might be meaningful if they had shared a love for music and listened together or something, but otherwise where's the value in them for your daughter? Grief is one thing, anger and resentment are another thing altogether. I understand your POV but I'm not sure how your frustration over the way things *should* be is helping either you or your daughter. lm My anger is dealt with between me and my friends, not between my daughter and I. It is not an issue with her. Yes, its just stuff, but some people like to have momentums of the people that have been in their lives. The value for my daughter is to have music that he loved and listened too. The value is to have pictures to pass on to her children. T |
#13
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What to do????? What to do?????
"Joelle" wrote in message ... she is still entitled to his stuff. No, what she is entitled to is her father, and she's not going to get that. Ever. Stuff or no. Remember what and who you are really ****ed off at, Tiffany. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle Again, my anger aside, S would like to have some things to remember him by. I don't understand why this point seems to be ignored in this thread??? T |
#14
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What to do????? What to do?????
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... Hi all..... Most you know my situation, my daughters father dying and all. That took place the end of April. I had asked his girlfriend to send S some of his stuff. T-shirts, jewelry, personal things of his, and half his cd collection. She is by law entitled to half his stuff. Actually at this point, all his stuff until the baby is born and is proven to be his. ( As I have found more stuff out about what WAS going on, I think there is a chance the baby might not be his.) 2 months and nothing. How long does one wait? What is appropriate? She emails S and talks about her fathers things and hanging them in the babies room and stuff. She said she had a necklace HE bought with the intention of giving it to S but hasn't even mailed that yet. I want to be decent here but I am getting to wonder if she won't just keep everything for HER baby. I have seen people act worse so it wouldn't surprise me. Of course, I can get an attorney to write up a nice little letter and threaten to take it to court in a heartbeat or maybe just take a day off and drive down there and get the **** myself. I am getting ****ed. I don't discuss this with S but I am really getting ****ed! I found out from his mother that he has all his baby book stuff and even she wants S to have that. S is the first born and all. This baby is going to grow up knowing another man as his father anyways. I know he should know of his biological father too but I am realistic and I know the mother is going to get a man and that man is going to be daddy. All S has now of her father is a few memories and hopefully some of his **** so she has SOMETHING! These things aren't worth money so don't get me wrong. This is NOT about money. He had nothing of financial value. I don't know why this ****es me off so much! I am also dealing with my Grandfather passing too and my Dad hiding the will from us grandkids and that is a whole other story. Ok guys..... tell me something! T Get an attorney, seriously. If you can not afford one, call legal aid. Upon his passing, social security should also be sending your child a check. V V |
#15
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What to do????? What to do?????
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... "Joelle" wrote in message ... she is still entitled to his stuff. No, what she is entitled to is her father, and she's not going to get that. Ever. Stuff or no. Remember what and who you are really ****ed off at, Tiffany. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle Again, my anger aside, S would like to have some things to remember him by. I don't understand why this point seems to be ignored in this thread??? T I understand what you are going through. My grandmother passing, and I just wanted to have something she had. It is understandable. V |
#16
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What to do????? What to do?????
"Tiffany" wrote in message ...
Yes, she is by law entitled to his stuff. If it went to his parents, she would most definitely get most the stuff. I already talked to an attorney and in the end I wouldn't really need to pay an attorney. That is all LAST resort. No, this is not a financial thing. Nothing is worth money. It is baby pictures, childhood things, ect. The music collection are bootlegs and yes they shared a love of music, when they were together, that is. Well, sounds like time may be the strongest ally for you then. People perceive time differently and the gf may think it's been a blink of the eye time while you may see a long two months time. If you add pressure, the gf may start seeing she wants this stuff. She may see a value that wasn't there before if you want it so bad. Karen |
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