To interfere or not to

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

T

Tiffany wrote:
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

T


I don't know where you live, so can't give specific info about what good
it would do. Civil and criminal code differ from one municipality to the
next, and what follows is based on my experience - what I've seen,
heard, and been told of - while working as a jail officer and
communications officer in east central Georgia, U.S. So, with that in
mind...

Most municipalities have noise ordinances, at the least. If the man is
yelling loud enough to be overheard by several neighbors, then you have
a potential noise ordinance violation.

If he is yelling at his significant other or a child, and it appears to
be as part of a dispute rather than simply so that she can hear him,
then you have a potential domestic dispute.

If he is yelling at the mother in an abusive fashion in the presence of
a minor child, then it is a potential domestic dispute with minor child
witness, which could be an additional degree of severity on the domestic
charge and possible secondary charges of child abuse, depending on the
situation.

A lot of it is going to depend on your specific municipality's civil and
criminal code, and whether or not there are any substantive witnesses
willing to press charges and/or testify, or physical evidence of abuse
that a law officer can use to press charges even without the victim's
consent/compliance.

Whether or not you SHOULD call it in is a decision only you can make. It
depends on your willingness to "get involved", the severity of the
situation, etc. And, ultimately, on your own judgement. Be prepared for
the possibility that the woman might well deny that there is anything
wrong, that anything happened, or that anything MIGHT happen - you'd be
amazed how many woman I've seen come in with their fresh bruises showing
all over their faces and arms, to bail out the men that beat them up.
Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on,
and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being
nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call.

I wish you the best of luck with it, and hope it works out well for all
concerned. Hope I helped.

~ Dor

I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or
not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to
teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how
bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted.
Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even
to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I
type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were
watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF
doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

T

On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

T

Yelling's not a crime, but emotional abuse is. Would it do any good to
call the authorities? Who knows? But if it happened here, you'd be
legally required to call them. You're describing abusive behaviour.

Cele

On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:37:08 -0400, Istara
wrote:


Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on,
and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being
nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call.

I've been certified as a teacher of the deaf since 1983. I've never
seen anyone who signed yell at a Deaf person as an alternative means
of communication.

Cele

"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.

Christine

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:37:08 -0400, Istara
wrote:


Then again, it's always possible that there really IS nothing going on,
and it's just him trying to communicate with her verbally, and her being
nearly deaf or something. It's a judgement call.

I've been certified as a teacher of the deaf since 1983. I've never
seen anyone who signed yell at a Deaf person as an alternative means
of communication.

Cele

This guy does sign normally to communicate. But what we hear at times, he is
yelling. Could she be partially deaf so when they are fighting, he yells
rather then signs? The yelling and insulting the kid though, there is no
excuse for that. The kid doesn't seem to have hearing issues. I have said hi
to him and he said hi back.

T

On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.


You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual
sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same
way.

lm

On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please
make the child welcome. Please call the authorities.

lm

"CME" wrote in message
news:9i47d.965$j24.459@clgrps12...

"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but
that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My
neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically
at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call
the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness
towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but
only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't
know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.

Christine



Oh fer $$$ sakes Christine, can this girl not post without you following up
with the above nonsense? Just move along to the next post or ignore her
entirely.

Lisa