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what do you think?



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 14th 04, 03:57 PM
Bebelestrnge0721
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Default what do you think?

Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last
night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks
after my daughter sought financial support from the father of her baby she is
being sued for primary physical custody of her baby by the father and his
parents, on the grounds that due to my daughters mental health the baby is in
danger? The paperwork states that it is an emergency pettition for custody in
motions court and my daughter and I are ordered to appear this wednsday with
the baby. So basically if the conference officer decides the allegations are
true and the baby is in any danger she will be taken right there from us and go
to the father until a custody hearing. God knows I am feeling sick inside right
now, It is being claimed that the baby is being abused by her mother this is
absolutely not true. I was aware of my daughters relapse in her emotional
health and we have been working on helping my daughter get through the fact
that the father does not want to be with her, yes it has been a struggle, yes
on several occasions my daughter went to his house to try and reconcile, yes
she told him she rather die than be without him,yes she finally made the
decision to drop out of school recently to focus on her child, yes she drank on
at least one occasion while away from home during the fathers weekend to have
the baby, and was caught underage drinking and charged. I knew I had to quit my
job to help my daughter through her emotional distress and we have been working
with a therapist and she has been back on her medication and has been doing her
part in her recovery. The baby was never in any danger thier claims are of the
past month, where my daughter did twice leave my house and stay for a week at
her friends each time with my knowledge, I was in touch with her and the
friends parent and decided that what my daughter was telling me was a real and
painful issue for her, our house reminded her of the father of her baby too
much because he was here everyday except for work hours and after 10 p.m. when
he went home, for the first 7 months of the babies life. She kept asking me for
us to move and I just could not afford a move right now. My point is when they
were together my daughter cared for her child fed her,bathed her with help, and
for the first month of summer she was the one who was home with the baby from 5
a.m. till 2-3 p.m. when I would get home from work, up to the month of mid July
when she and her boyfriend split up. Then her grief of the breakup began
interfereing with her sleep pattern, she was breaking down in sobs over and
over again, and we had to start filling in the gaps again with baby care, here
and there for my daughter to sleep when she could. The father had stopped
supplying the diapers and food he had been up until the breakup and I had to
step in and discuss this with his father and I thought it was understood that
we expected him to continue, We should not have had to call every week to say
"we need food" but that is what happened and for three months we would call let
them know and a few days later they would bring something. My daughter did not
want to sue for support money ( for fear of him getting angry with her) so I
left that go figuring as long as he continued to do the diaper , food thing. On
several occasions I just went and bought food frustrated with thier lack of
concern in being consistent. My daughter recently said he is not gonna get back
with me so now she didn't care if she ****ed him off asking for financial help
and so I took her to file. I told the father, we left it go at him bringing the
food because he needed to do something, but that eventually he must have known
it would come to supporting the baby this way he said" yes". He told my
daughter he would fight it and even cutt back on his work hours after he
received the papers. Had I have known that these materialistic people would
then use my daughters mental health issues as a tool to take the baby to avoid
paying support, I would have instructed my daughter to let it go . How dare
these people behave this way over supporting this baby. My daughters mental
heath was never a problem to them up until now.As it is the fathers mother
takes the same damn medication my daughter is on ? Hello? We will fight tooth
and nail to not have this babies life as she has lived in the home that she
knows and the people that have been there for her since before birth, that have
done nothing but brought her to her 11th month healthy and happy, developing
ahead of schedule be taken away from her for the reasons that are obvious to me
this is retaliation , a selfish materialistc attitude of these people that are
not doing this in the best interest of this baby but in the best interest of
what they do not want to do, help financially support this baby. Heh did I tell
you about the time the paternal grandmother took this sleeping baby out of a
coat she had purchased for the baby ,on our front door step upon returning the
baby from a visit ? Claiming she needed it , the sad truth being she would be
back the next day to pick the baby up again ? We verbalised the baby needed
clothes, shoes, we got nothing.So again we went out and bought what the baby
needed without thier help.Yeah this is who I am dealing with , last week, the
baby was sick on Sunday so I called to make her a doc. appt. on monday which I
could only get at 4 p.m. My daughter tried to call the father to let him know
she was sick but could not get through, she then left a hand written note with
her guidance counselor to have it given to the father . Well, communications
failed, so on this day that the paternal grandmother is supposed to pick up the
baby for a visit at 2:30 , shows up on our doorstep at a 1/4 to 4 as we were
leaving for the drs appt. and I said didn't he tell you the baby is sick and we
are taking her to the doc? Well She goes off ranting No , I dont see him he
works, she stomps off our porch gets into her car and peels out throwing stones
up ! No "whats wrong with the baby" no care but that she was inconvenienced
showing up an hour and fifteen minutes late anyway. Now they are supposed to
return the baby tonight at 9 p.m. I guess we will see..................and what
****es me off to no end is that they have begun to use this baby as a weapon. I
do not want this baby to be unhappy ever. Theres more , there is lots more, but
I am tired of ranting now. We were filing papers this Tues. for joint shared
custody with everything staying as it has been for the past almost 5 months
since the kids broke up, Guess not, guess it has to be a fight now.This is a
damn shame. Bev
  #3  
Old November 15th 04, 06:44 AM
MissMissy657
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Hi I am Missy and new to this newsgroup. I have been reading your messages and
I feel for the situation that you are in. I am a single mother of three
wonderful children. I do not receive support from their father nor do I fight
for it right now. I am very lucky to have my parents. They allowed me to move
back in with them and they are helping me out just as you are supporting your
daughter and grandchild. They way that you explained how the father acted to me
is he really doesn't want the baby and he is only doing it out of anger that he
has to actually support the baby. Hang in there it will work out. I know that
where I am from it takes a lot to take a baby away from a mother who has a
network of support as she does. Just fight for that baby because it sound that
she is in ahome that wants her and loves her. Not somwhere just because.
  #4  
Old November 15th 04, 02:08 PM
P. Fritz
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Default


"MissMissy657" wrote in message
...

Hi I am Missy and new to this newsgroup. I have been reading your

messages and
I feel for the situation that you are in. I am a single mother of three
wonderful children. I do not receive support from their father nor do I

fight
for it right now. I am very lucky to have my parents. They allowed me to

move
back in with them and they are helping me out just as you are supporting

your
daughter and grandchild. They way that you explained how the father

acted to me
is he really doesn't want the baby and he is only doing it out of anger

that he
has to actually support the baby. Hang in there it will work out. I know

that
where I am from it takes a lot to take a baby away from a mother who has

a
network of support as she does. Just fight for that baby because it

sound that
she is in ahome that wants her and loves her. Not somwhere just because.


Worse advice could not have been given.




  #8  
Old November 15th 04, 07:44 PM
Bebelestrnge0721
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Default

Subject: what do you think?
From: (Karen O'Mara)
Date: 11/14/2004 7:49 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

(Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message
...
Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household

last
night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two

weeks

[snip]


It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not
materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake
of the baby.


I do wish I could agree for the sake of my granddaughter this to be
true.......there is a lot I have not gotten into and I can assure you it looks
like a duck, sounds like a duck and I intend on proving this .


Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now.


We have both the visiting nurse that has been involved since the beggining of
the pregnancy, and the mobil therapist that we have had involved in our family
for years, willing to testify that in thier proffesional opinions , my daughter
is , has been and will continue to be able to be a fit mother.

If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby.


Well yes I do feel I am fit........if I felt my daughter was a danger to her
child I would have done something a long time ago. There has been a lot of
emotional abuse by both the father of this baby and his mother. Especially his
mother who never stopped telling these kids how stupid they are and should
abort this baby throughout the pregnancy. As well has said on several occasions
that " she wasn't gonna quit her job and raise this KID" So whats the
difference now? My daughter asked for support.

Thanks Karen, for your response.

Karen








 




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